[sticky entry] Sticky: Iwanna

Jul. 7th, 2027 05:33 pm
kittydesade: (to-do list)
For when I have free money, or to save up for these things:

You need this t-shirt in your life.
And this sweater
Skeleton hand bracelet


Clothing Brands
Straight to Hell Apparel
Patty Boutik
Jungle Tribe
LaceLab
Delicious Boutique
Jockey SuperSoft Cami Tops
Verillas (dot com)

Spring/Birthday
Goff bracelets because apparently we're back in our goff phase to go with the steampunk/post apocalypse
Monitor stand
Wand stand
Investigate these goff lipsticks
Those folders you got in high school and loved beyond reason are Leitz 3-Flap folders or something similar anyway.
Extra shoelaces from LaceLabs, 54"
Dermalogica Microfoliant and/or Tatcha polishing rice powder
Try a new moisturizer
kittydesade: (Default)
I had such grand plans to get shit done today and then a migraine hit for no good goddamn reason. Well, presumably it's a premenstrual migraine which some would say is a good reason but I say it is not, and also I still have a goddamn month to go. I shouldn't start feeling miserable for two weeks. Fuck.

Staggered through the day, got a tiny bit of writing done, fifteen minutes of noodling around with watercolors, and got put into the darkroom closet for an hour or so at work. Got home, ate a whole lot of pizza, and fell asleep on the couch. The pain, thankfully, is gone. Now I'm just exhausted.

And I have a weekend pile of events going on. Well, just class and then a movie after that, and then community day, and then a play on Sunday. Seriously starting to regret going to any of these. Maybe I'll just fall asleep here on the couch and sleep till class tomorrow. Sure, why not.
kittydesade: (under construction (nopejr))
I have *counts on fingers* what, six? A terrifying number of friends, anyway, waiting with varying degrees of patience for this short-middling story of Social Justice Vampire Sean Bean, Black Cat His Heroine Nemesis, And Her Normal Friend With The Inadvisable Life Choices And Terrible Taste In Men. I have no idea how this even started. It started with a tumblr post. There was supposed to be an indescribable horror being, not a vampire. I didn't mean to but I think it turned into a romcom. I don't even read romcoms! I barely watch them! Practical Magic and Stranger than Fiction and I'm sure there are a couple others, that's it!

Anyway it's about 5k words right now, I'm starting the fifth scene of IDEK how many, and I'm more and more certain with every paragraph that this is just the setup for... something. It feels like a rom com but I may be overstating the amount of romance and/or sex in it. And I have no idea who the romance or whatever is going to be between. I have no idea what's going on at this point. I know the characters and the choices they're making in the moment, but the choices they will make? Ahahahahaha what.

So much for getting edits done at work anyway. I have hopes that I might get everyone to take a pause when I get home after class but right now it's all ridiculousness all the time and I don't know what to do with them, I really don't.

In addition to getting a bunch of things done with a bunch of wacky characters I don't know what to do with, though, I managed to get a bunch of day job done, the story itself got about 1k of that 5k written today, and I guess I feel pretty accomplished. And all of this before I go accomplish training to kick people in the face! Now all I have to accomplish when I get home is physics and guitar and then I can pass out if it was a particularly hard class. Which it might be. Who knows. I just hope this surge of energy lasts to carry me through it.

(I should really accomplish some reading. I have two books I'm in the middle of, one very good and one decent but I'm not sure it's to my taste, and I need to finish them and move on to the next three that are much anticipated but... augh. I haven't been able to pick up my Kindle for a bit, I don't know why. I think I forgot to push the love reading button again. Maybe tonight before bed for an hour. Maybe I need to force myself to say "stop working on the things yes even if you didn't finish them" and pick up the damn Kindle. That's probably it.)
kittydesade: (courtesan in training)
Bit by bit, pulling my brain back together. I figured out over the last few days that ... well, I'm not sure I figured out anything regarding the process but I did manage to overcome my anxiety regarding some specific early-taken Starlight notes and get them organized so that when I next call on them they (I hope) won't freak me out so much. I figured out how to export things from Campaign Cartographer to a regular picture file (jpg in this case) and that was good, and I discovered quite by accident that I remember to log things in my bullet journal better if the bullet journal stays in one place on my media cabinet. So, realistically, I could have just used one notebook for habits and writing alike, since I haven't been using it as much as I expected I would for ideas, logging, etc. Whoops? Live and learn?

Got a chunk of writing done today, mostly updating and in the random story I started because of a freaking tumblr post and it's turned into a referendum on "nice guys" and also vampire Sean Bean. I do not know why vampire Sean Bean exists but he does now. I need to focus harder tomorrow on getting some edits done, but that's progress. That's good progress. And I've been getting to bed on time last night and, it looks like, tonight. Slowly pulling things back together? More solidly together? I'm not sure what this counts as but hey. Stuff is getting done. Calmly, efficiently, and a lot of it.

I have jury duty and I don't wanna. That's the sum I have to say about that.

Finished Umbrella Academy, finished Doom Patrol up to current airdate, next up I suppose I'll be finishing The Fades and then a bunch of reading. I'm enjoying consuming a lot of good media but it's a lot to consume in a very short amount of free time! Books, though, being more portable than the Netflix subscription and other people's on demand accounts.

And I've started thinking about picking up watercolors again for MerMay, since I've gotten more confident in my ability to draw. Although I've also been skimping on the human drawing practice, which I should not do if I want to do MerMay and not get discouraged within four days. Why are humans so freaking complicated to draw. Meh.
kittydesade: (lioness)
Some days I really wonder what the hell goes on in my tiny mind. Today was quieter than it's been at work in a week or so so I decided to take advantage and do some writing, and I decided to work on Starlight since it's been a couple of days. And I opened the documents and I looked at the myriad of randomness as I haven't been very organized with the notes and somehow it was so overwhelming I started panicking. Not really a panic attack but definitely some anxiety spikes. What the hell, self. Why this thing so particularly.

Anyway, I made myself copy over a bunch of stuff into Scrivener so it was a bit better sorted, made a bunch of files and folders in Scrivener, promised myself that when I got home I would print up the damn planet pictures, and somehow managed to make myself calm down and write some background in Starlight. And I did! I did learn how to print things as jpgs which could then be printed on a photo printer or whatever from Campaign Cartographer, so that's a new skill there. And I put the jpgs in Dropbox so I'll have them at work too, and I hope that smooths everything over so the next time I pop that sucker open I can just start doing the damn background like I should have done ages ago. Those are some of the last notes, I think, and they've just been sitting there because my brain is wired poorly in some respects.

Reasonably well in others, I can't complain too much. I think I'm going to do MerMay, try to do a bit more people sketching as well as object sketching. And maybe some perspective exercises, I have a book on that somewhere around this house. I think I even know where it is. I have an idea where this one short story is going, where a lot of my other writing is going. Work is sort of going well, sort of throwing us challenges but they're more the accustomed challenges than oh crap our house brand of yarn might go away and then what.

I finished Umbrella Academy and, yeah, that was definitely a Dark Phoenix type of arc. And now, what, it's not quite Days of Future Past, but there's definitely some time fuckery in the Summers-Grey vein going on around here. I've started Doom Patrol which is six different kinds of wacky and fucked up, and very fun. After that I guess I'm going to finish watching The Fades. No end of good media to consume, and that's just the TV shows.

I feel like I have a better handle on things than I have in, well, half of last week. I don't know if that's true or not but it feels true for the moment. So that's good, I'll take it, that's good enough to be going on with.
kittydesade: (and so good night)
The internet is a fabulous place to make new friends, share experiences, learn new things about so many people you never would have met otherwise. But goddamn it is also a wretched hive of supremacist scum and concentrated villainy and it's awful and scary and sad.

I was reminded tonight though that my evening reminders help. I've streamlined them somewhat, which makes it easier on me, but tonight there was a heaviness there that made me feel like, after last night when the shooting came right after reminders were done, like it was going to tempt fate too much. But someone reminded me that no, the reminders help, they help show how to get through times like this. So I feel better there. Less like shouting into the void and more like actually leading the way through the thicket.

And then I did guitar! And Don't Fear The Reaper got a bit faster! And I got a bit more proficient going from warmups to playing songs I knew I knew how to play, with fewer flubs. So that's really good.

And then the day job has escalated back to closer to normal levels. Which is fine, is actually a good thing because it means I'm more likely to continue to have a day job for the next several years but it also means this year I really, really do need to get better about dedicated writing time when I'm not at work because I won't be able to get the volume of work done otherwise. And I'd prefer to get into that habit before next month. I think at this point it's going to be make sure my bedtime works better, get up, exercise, shower, be downstairs by 8 so I can eat breakfast at the desktop and write and so on.

Which may work well enough until around November-December when it gets too fucking cold to do that. And then January-February work is quiet enough to be able to skive off a bit and write at work.

Plans to put into effect next week at this point. Tomorrow is class, errands, and cleaning house/doing more of the work I should have done this week if people weren't energy-sapping jerks.
kittydesade: (courtesan in training)
I am le tired.

Conclusion of yesterday's weight/thyroid talk )

But the thought of me carrying that much implied muscle, since I haven't done any of those electrowossis tests to find out (assuming they're even good science) makes me squee. I am a chonky jaguar person. I can't find the stupid graphic online but there was a chart on tumblr that had the various large spotted cats sorted into categories and jaguar was swimmy chonky.

Aaand all of this was supposed to be posted yesterday before I left for class and movie but oh well. Everything behind the cut still stands. I saw Captain Marvel! It was fun! The continuity errors it created are going to bug me forever! The boy thought it was decent but he's getting MCU fatigue. I don't even think it's superhero fatigue, it's just MCU fatigue. There were several moments in the film that resonated with me but I think the most was the end bit with Carol and her mentor. No, not that one, the other one at the very end. That was the moment when I laughed and went "okay it me."

And then! This morning without melatonin and with going to bed on time I managed to get up early enough to do some exercise. Wonders never cease. And then I cancelled my dentist appointment because I am very small and have no money, so we'll see when I can get back in for a cleaning. Till then, lots and lots of maintenance. Thankfully I don't seem to be as inclined to cavities as I used to be, and my habits are a lot better. But I just cannot right now with the stress of taxes and dentist and everything else. If I'm going to add an expense it's going to be a judicious purchase of something I actually want, not a fucking dental cleaning. Possibly that sparkle makeup I promised myself for doing all the guitar practice.

Speaking of which! I've discovered I need a good five minutes or so of warmup before my fingers will properly play songs, so it's over to the Guitar Aerobics book with me to find some more fingering exercises, and doing 5-10 minutes of those before I practice my songs. Otherwise I will absolutely lose my shit. It's so frustrating not being able to play a song I could easily play as a teenager. But that's staying put, Don't Fear the Reaper first several verses (that da-da-da-da da-da-da that goes on in the background) is coming along, fuck Under the Bridge until I have time to sit down and puzzle out a decent set of tabs, and I should really start practicing the chord changes on Wonderwall. And my strumming technique. Bleeeeeeeeeh.
kittydesade: (Default)
This post is mostly weight, food, and thyroid talk. )


Plus I dropped guitar only for a couple of days and then picked it back up again, practicing chord changes, fingerings. I need to advance some in the aerobics thing though, definitely need to do that. Not that I've been going at anywhere near the pace they say you're supposed to do (one a day for a year) but I want to memorize a bunch of them, not just read them out of the book. I want to have something in my back pocket for when I don't want to work on any songs, and something to address various concerns like fingering, chord changes, whatever, so if I decide I need to spend a couple of days just on that I can do just that without being aggravated that it sounds nothing like the song I want to play.

I've started the Lifestyles edits in earnest, don't know if I'm going to work on line edits for Starlight yet or not but I think those are coming up pretty soon. I need to work on IKWYDLC prep tomorrow, start working out the novel-specific concepts now that I have those highlighted.

But the boy and I are going to see Captain Marvel tomorrow night, so that's something to look forward to! And I've got my Carol Corps t-shirt to wear.
kittydesade: (disapproving hauser)
V. tired. Brain tired. Long day at work that was more like only four ish hours of activity out of the eight but they were taxing hours full of logistics and talking to people and getting information and now I am le tired and I still have my permanent shitload of writing work to do. Also I am le cold.

I did get a bunch of highlighting done, and a very vague sense of what I need to work on to prep for next month. Skimmed through the edits to see if I needed to do similar prep-work in the second Lifestyles book and no, I don't necessarily but I do need to get a better sense of the people who are in the book, which is similar prepwork but with different scope. So I guess that's part of what I'm going to do tomorrow, along with pretending to be an adult.

But mostly I'm tired. We went by the grocery store on the way home so I could get milk and Elf Lord could get stamps and I got an inordinate amount of sweets that, no, I haven't eaten all of but still. I am tired and today was long and fiddly in non-writing ways and I want my writing time back. Alas. And I'm not going to practice guitar tonight either, I'm just going to go pass out.

Plus side this should mean tomorrow I get to get up, shower, and get some writing and editing done before I go to class. Hopefully that'll be a good start to the day.
kittydesade: a male and maned lion with a paw over its face as if to say 'oh humans' (facepaw)
After a night interrupted by an entirely preventable and unnecessary work crisis on the boy's part this morning started off with me waking up an hour before my alarm so I got maybe five solid hours of sleep. Then I get to work only to find out there's very little work, and now I'm trying to do far, far too much writing work while at work, all at once, and not being able to focus on a goddamn thing. This is awesome. And by awesome I mean why, why is my brain like this when it's tired.

Of course after several hours of work now the rest of me can join in on the tired; lots of day job chaos, none of it unpleasant, all of it very chaotic, in the middle of me trying to quiet my brain down over writing things. Whoof. And all of it still going on as I left. (I got in a last "let me know where the pellet with the poison is" because we're all nerds there.)

Guitar has hit the point where everything I practice is both difficult and painful because my hand isn't used to stretching that way. Which is frustrating in the extreme, and I need to not let it beat me. But frustrating. Especially since I have it in mind to get good enough to play a couple songs by DragonCon and now I'm thinking that may not happen this year? (It might. Who the hell knows. Maybe I need to pick easier songs. Though I do have Wish You Were Here almost and Don't Fear the Reaper isn't bad except for one arpeggio.) And. And ugh. And that's even assuming I can find a cheap guitar and take it down though, if I have a ride, I don't know. So I shouldn't worry about mastering songs in a specific time frame. But will I stop worrying? Will I, bollocks.

Writing is coming along anyway. Progress has been made, is being made, I went over the outline for the next novel today and looked at some edits and how what I've drawn up for the next Lifestyles book can affect the edits for the last one I drafted. Didn't do as much on Starlight edits today but things were progressed. I wonder if I can turn this energy into some administrative work tomorrow and on the weekend, because now with the Supreme Court decision I need to figure out this whole copyright registration malarky. Along with the fact that I've been talking about Smashwords for a year and a half, and Gumroad, and done nothing about either of them. Meh. I don't know what I'm scared of, why it takes me so long to work up to it. maybe if I pretend to be a professional who has my shit together it'll make it easier to act like one.

Feh. I'll figure that out in the morning I suppose, after I get a damn decent night's sleep. I hope. No more late night work emergencies, and for whatever reason please no waking up before my freaking alarm. That was annoying.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
I had a great class, which reminded me not only what I'm capable of but also how fast I'm capable of doing it, and I needed that. But also holy damn I am out of shape. Yikes. I hurt. I don't have the stamina I did in either lungs or muscles, and I need to work back up to that. Also, perpetually, to work on my au's. That means cartwheels, functionally. I've never, ever been good at those. But I really do need to work on them.

Also I may not have scared New Guy off after all. Still, he wasn't there tonight, allegedly sick? We'll see about Saturday.

Ugh. I'm tired, and I still have to finish doodling up my BuJos both the habit one and the writing one, and practice guitar and I just want to go pass out. We'll see how much I get done in the next hour and a half but uuugh.

But I did get a bunch of writing done today not in terms of drafting, but in terms of getting things noted down that I needed to elaborate on, solidify, etc. Some very backbone-of-the-series stuff that should help with edits for the next book that, heh, I might even be able to publish in May. We'll see. Starlight I don't even know, but I'm doodling around on Campaign Cosmographer again so maybe I can include some nice pictures in the book or something. And I'll have good maps and visuals and ideas of what things look like and how it all fits together. Back into the grind. Maybe I'll get back into fiction drafting, the list of things I need to draft is absurdly long right now. In no small part due to projects I need to finish, the last six months or more have been very, very bad for that. Maybe I'll do some of that tonight after I finish the doodling and the guitar practice.

Which also reminds me I need to work on Wonderwall if I'm to be a walking meme, and for that I need to find my capo. Tomorrow. I can go digging around the spare room for my capo tomorrow.
kittydesade: (Default)
People keep saying nice things about Luke Perry and it makes me even more pissed off and sad that he's gone at such a young age. I mean what the hell.

Of course then I found out that Fred Rogers was apparently bisexual or biromantic, as in actually said so out loud to a friend who then related it to a biographer and now I'm going to spend the rest of the day having spontaneous moments of 'excuse me what.' The source is apparently a recent book called The Good Neighbor? II missed a memo somewhere. I'm still stuck in a land of "what."

I printed out a couple more tabs to practice, including the chords for Wonderwall so if I find a cheapass guitar in the next few months and if the ride pans out (or if I get really absurd and decide to take it on the bus) I can cosplay at DragonCon as a meme. I needed more songs to practice anyway and the tabs for Under the Bridge are giving me absolute fits. They're wrong and they should sit there and be wrong in their wrongness.

I'm both pleased with the amount of work I got done and displeased with everything I didn't do and I don't know how that happened. I may, however, be getting back into the mindset of my proper writing self, working on multiple writing projects at once in various stages, juggling them, hopefully organized enough to break down all the tasks into manageable single day chunks with an eye towards the overall picture. I think? I don't know. Ugh. I need to go to bed.
kittydesade: (bad day)
Sustained screaming goes here.

So it turns out I had to book a hotel room for DragonCon ... not exactly at the last minute? But given how fast hotel rooms go for DragonCon it very nearly might as well be and that's two grand on my credit card that I did not need on my credit card, yay even more money stress at a time when I was already absolutely freaking out about money. That kept me up till 1 am, and then I woke up, I was goddamn productive, I put on fantastic makeup and washed my makeup brushes from last week and put my clothes away that the boy had kindly brought up for me because I was weak as a three day old kitten yesterday, and I got to work feeling pretty okay aaaaaand Luke Perry died.

I cannot overstate how important the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie was to me as a kid. It was far more important than the TV show has ever been to me even though yes, I watched it along with everyone else and yes, I realize the TV show has a bigger cultural footprint. I lived and breathed that movie. I became a vampire hunter for that movie. As in my childhood BFF and I literally sharpened stakes and researched vampire lore and went around eating the most garlicky food we could find (my poor parents) and blessed holy water and we were a bit off the rails for a while. Fortunately it was summer break so we didn't have much in the way of rails to begin with.

I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm stressed. Mostly about money, although I did some more number crunching and ahahahah I'll be fine as long as I don't have any other unexpected emergencies or expenses? The boy suggested we go to a three day concert for our birthdays and okay that's fine as long as you're paying for it (which is possible, he makes half again as much money as I do and it's not far out of our way) but overall, argh. Tired, sad, stressed. Annoyed at losing the entire weekend to head cold. Feeling marginally more stable in the brain pan in terms of working on writing but also generally irritated and scared and tired, so damn tired. I spent a larger portion of today than I meant to crying my fantastic makeup off. My makeup looks fucking amazing. And then Luke Perry died and there it goes.

Oh, and my Mom's coming to town in a month so I have a month to clean the house and we all know how well that's going to go. (Possibly better than it has in the past, we've gotten a lot of the lingering broken appliance clutter out and we're developing better habits but still.) And I am le stressed and le tired.

I'm going to go home tonight and I'm going to get cupcakes at the fucking grocery store and I'm going to curl up on the couch and watch Jeremiah because I never upgraded the Buffy movie from VHS (yes I am old) to DVD and I am going to cry all my makeup off. Goddammit. Maybe if Beverly Hills is on Prime for free I'll watch that. Or, fuck, maybe I'll start watching Riverdale. WHO KNOWS. NOT ME.
kittydesade: (Default)
Yesterday:
I feel extremely head-cold-y today, which is particularly unwelcome because I want to go to class tomorrow goddammit and also because I got my hair cut this morning and it looks really fucking fine.

I've never thought of my hair as curly before. Wavy or curly. It's always been straight to me, with an annoying tendency to do funky things when wet. But my old stylist was there (she's moved out of the state but came back for a visit) this morning and I walked in with annoying, wet hair and she went "Oh! Your hair's in curls! We could do a thing?" And it's hair, as long as it doesn't get any major length taken off of it I am up for what the fuck ever, it's hair, it'll fade back or grow out or deflate or whatever, so I say "sure let's" and suddenly I have curls to befit an 80s hair band. I'm seriously considering going back tomorrow and saying "okay, what products did you use, what's my at home routine to do this, explain to me the mystical ways of Curls On Purpose."

(It's very weird to have never thought of your hair as curly until you're almost fucking forty. Very, very weird.)

The biggest problem with this plan is that it may require getting a couple new hair care products, which are inevitably expensive. But it's not like that's an immediate or actual need, that can wait till a couple weeks down the line as long as I remember what the hell they are and how I'm using them.

Today:
No, I did not go to class. I got home and couldn't stop sneezing and it just got worse from there, and this morning when I woke up even after going to bed on time and on drugs I felt like hell. So no class for me today and possibly no game if I don't recover well enough. I slept... I woke up for about an hour to eat something at the insistence of the boy, and then passed back out again. All told from a bit before midnight until noon-thirty.

I did get back to the hair stylists, said hi, chatted with everyone there, and got the name of the one product it turned out to be and confirmation that it was just the basic things she'd done to it at the salon, which I can do at home. I like a routine that only requires me buying one new product! And that was good but possibly running around in the rain yesterday worsened the cold. Or, hell if I know, it might just be a bad bug that the boy brought home from the hospital.

Anyway. Today I'll be lucky if I get anything done other than sitting on the couch and reading books and articles about beauty routines. I might get some writing done. I have no idea if I'm going to make it to game or not. Plus side is the boy didn't get much sleep and he's running the game, so it'll be a short game if I do go. And it's a head cold, so it won't get that bad. I hope. I'm just still profoundly annoyed that, sick. I was going to finish solidifying my routines, beauty, exercise, music, writing, everything. And now sick. And ugh.
kittydesade: (Default)
I have no idea how Rita Moreno is 88 and looks that fantastic but I hope to be as active and gorgeous as she is when I'm 88.

I called my Mom to check in after her last couple weeks of hell. Broken arm, pet death. Overwork too, it turns out, but she's doing all right despite that. We talked about how adulting is hard and she too watches One Day At A Time, which amuses us both. I think it amuses me more that she watches it too and we're passing tv recs back and forth. Which also reminds me that I need to watch Russian Doll. I recommended it to her, she liked it, and I haven't even seen it. Also Umbrella Academy. But I'm not going to recommend that one to her.

Oof. I have a haircut appointment before work tomorrow and I did not make it to bed nearly as early as I wanted to so I can get up early and get all my shit done before I go and waaah.

... yeah, I got nothing. Today was surprisingly quiet elsewise.
kittydesade: (angelidemonic duo)
I have no words to describe what's going down in the House of Representatives right now. I know the facts of the matter are that Michael Cohen is testifying before the House, but I have no idea what the shit any of them think they're doing. Except that Michael Cohen has no more fucks to give and doesn't even give a fuck about the fact that he has no more fucks to give. Can I say fuck more? Yeah. Wow.

Tired in a whole new way today. I had to fix some fuckups I made at work and then some thing that wasn't quite a fuckup, nobody was able to communicate in time is all, and then I was reminded too late that the safe deposit box fee comes out of my account and not the house account and and and. That last one especially because between elevated electric bills over the last month or so and the dentist and the oncologist and a few other things I've been feeling particularly stressed about money lately and now I'm just... why. Why the fuck do I even bother trying to be good. Why can I never get ahead. I'm tired. I am the John Mulaney gif of I am very small and I have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.

(Which, hey, at least it's a Wednesday and I can go kick things. And I feel better than I have in a couple of weeks.)

And my bookshelves aren't getting made. And I'm just going to take the damn plans from my uncle and do it with the boy over my birthday again so they can be fucking done, because ... because. I am fed up and tired and stressed and ready to cry. And the longer it takes the more the bookshelf money gets drained away by things like dentist and oncologist and and and. I want that done. I want it done and tidy. And then I want to pay down/off all my freaking credit card debt (hah, that'll take years, there's a lot of dental work and such on there plus some bad decisions from a few years ago) and someday, eventually, I'd like to ... I don't know. I'm just tired and fed up and pissed off and tired.

I did get some writing done. I did get some work done. I started One Day At A Time and got an episode and a half in before I realized I could not have this on in the background and work so now I'm going to get home from class and practice my guitar and then put everything away and binge. I am... while I'm sort of slightly regretting the last couple major purchases I made because of the aforementioned "oh shit all these bills ARE hitting at once WHY DID I NOT REMEMBER THIS SOONER" I'm not regretting a) having them and b) that I took the leap because they were gonna go fucking fast and then I would not have things and I would be sad. I know we're not supposed to put value on Material Things but fuck that, I love my beautiful raven puppet and my various other shinies. So there's that. There are positives. This will pass.

I'm just very much at the intersection of John Mulaney and Charles Darwin right now and I dislike it.

But on the plus side I have a partner who got me all three seasons of Lucifer on DVD based solely on me saying "I LOVE THIS SHOW IT'S LIKE READING MY OWN WRITING THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WRITE" two or three times. So that's good. Maybe I'll make some icons out of them this weekend.
kittydesade: (Default)
Up too late too tired this was a poor idea. Didn't even end up practicing guitar either. But because I ended up cleaning up a lot of things like vanity and clothes and such, so that's not terrible.

Discovered a pair of pants that I'd enjoyed in a Stitch Fix box several months ago, that I'd never even taken the tags off of because I'd buried them under mending. Took the tags off, wore them, super comfortable, super chic. Do like. Actually I really liked my whole look today, which was surprising for something I threw together out of not much.

Ended up being too scattered at work to write there, did get some writing when I got home. Still more scattered than I want to be about the writing. Bleh.

Did make an appointment for a haircut though so I can get my bangs trimmed back and see again and stop parting them off my forehead. Which will be nice. I like having my bangs these days, I've forgotten what my forehead looks like almost.

And I need to call my Mom, I should remember that tomorrow morning. It's been a rough few weeks for her.

Still here. Not much going on. Still need to bash my brain into shape on writing. Still moving forward. Forward into bed though.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
I came to the realization over the weekend that if I pick up a crappy $50 or less guitar at a pawn shop, take it to DragonCon, and rig a big sign over my head that says "Anyway, here's Wonderwall" I could cosplay a meme and honestly I'm very, very tempted to just do it. It would be the easiest thing ever, and I'm entirely sure I could learn to play Wonderwall by DragonCon. Along with some other songs because just playing Wonderwall over and over again would be boring as shit. But I could go to the lobby of the Marriott and lean up against something and noodle around and play Wonderwall every fifteen minutes or so. And possibly busk. I would also need a busking cap.

And yes, that requires me to pick up a $50 guitar but honestly I've paid a lot more for costumes so eh. It's tempting. It's just that it's also bulky as shit and I may have to take the bus. With a suitcase. And a guitar.

I am le tired.

The weekend was... ugh. Friday and Sunday night were both extra ugh because the boy kept waking me up in the middle of the night with coming to bed at 4 in the morning, and I'm going to have to tell him to be quieter or I'm just going to have to sleep in the guest room because no, I cannot do a day that starts at 7 or earlier if I'm waking up at 4 in the fucking morning. Unless I go to bed at like 8 and I really don't want to do that, that shit's annoying.

Aside from that though, Sunday was pretty productive, in part due to actual sleep got and also due to writing, cooking and not dealing with the shit I had to deal with on Saturday. Which was that I had this one thing I wanted to write and get out of the way, and my brain would not either let me write it or let me pick something else to work on. The entire freaking day. It was unbelievably aggravating. I don't want to do that again. I'm sure I will, but hopefully not for a few months. Fucksake.

Waargbhle. I'm too tired to be coherent. I'm happy with my guitar playing, writing, and householdering over the weekend, but I am not happy with the sleep I did not get last night. Boo.
kittydesade: (et voila)
So Elf Lord strung three and a half strings on my guitar and then I half-strung a string (which is to say we each took a part, I threaded it through, he pulled it tight and kinked it, etc) and then I strung two strings and now I have a restrung guitar! And a journal in which to note what I used to string it with so if I don't like these strings I can get a bulkier or slinkier size next time. And I can write down notes about the stringing process and hopefully do it all myself. And. I am very pleased with myself.

Also for figuring out that all I really need to do is put on my classic rock playlist which is... um. Damn, almost a full day of music. 23h and 40 minutes. Anyway, all I need to do is put it on shuffle, go through it, and see if the Ultimate Tabs site has it and if so, is the part I want to play the bass line or the lead.

Brain so tired though. I spent most of today feeling faintly dizzy and nauseous and wondering if I was going to be sick. Not helped by the boy commenting that what I felt like, described to him, sounded like when he'd been sick that day. On top of that I really do feel like I did the day after he was sick. Or the day after that, but sometime near enough that I was worrying about coming down with it. And I'd really like to know that it's not going to last into tomorrow and I'll be fine for class but I don't trust it. I'll see in the morning.

I swear I had something else here but then I got distracted writing things and playing guitar and looking up other things in past writings and now it is very late and I am very small and tired and I have no money so you understand the kind of pressure I'm under. Wait. No. Well yes, until I get paid. I should just go to bed.
kittydesade: (Default)
Note to self: take a fucking trazodone the night before Mikey has his oncology vet appointment otherwise you will sleep like shit, forget your meds the next morning, feel even more like shit, bonus shit points because it's the day after capoeira when everything hurts anyway. Argh.

But Mikey had his oncology appointment today and somehow, blessed be Bast, he's okay. Slightly enlarged lymph nodes that wouldn't be abnormal with a cold or a virus, ultrasound is fine, bloodwork is fine, everything else is fine. The oncologist wants to see him again in six months, but he's doing surprisingly well for not having had chemo and sticking with a daily dose of prednisone, apparently half the dose he was expected to be on. I am very very relieved.

I need to remember to take my guitar in to work tomorrow, that's going to be interesting. We're going to do some stringing and no doubt Elf Lord's going to try to drag me into the evening music playing circle... which is all folk music. I am a rock guitarist, Elf Lord, I don't ... okay I wouldn't mind doing folk music but I'm going to feel very incongruous standing there with a Squier Strat playing The Parson's Farewell. Actually I might feel less strange playing the Parson's Farewell because there's a metal cover of that that they did for the Black Sails theme. But. It does need restringing, so in to work it goes, I'll take my first stab at stringing a Fender/Squier instrument, and Elf Lord has one of those quicker tuning machine things.

Ah well. Okay, hopefully I sleep better tonight knowing that my cat is okay, and I don't turn into an entire zombie tomorrow when I'm trying to write and play music and get things done.

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