[sticky entry] Sticky: Iwanna

Jul. 7th, 2027 05:33 pm
kittydesade: (to-do list)
For when I have free money, or to save up for these things:

You need this t-shirt in your life.
And this sweater


Clothing Brands
Straight to Hell Apparel
Patty Boutik
Jungle Tribe
LaceLab
Delicious Boutique
Jockey SuperSoft Cami Tops
Verillas (dot com)

Spring/Birthday
Goff bracelets because apparently we're back in our goff phase to go with the steampunk/post apocalypse
Monitor stand
Wand stand
Investigate these goff lipsticks
Those folders you got in high school and loved beyond reason are Leitz 3-Flap folders or something similar anyway.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
I am not doing anything productive today at work because about an hour into the day the intranet and my computer decided they weren't speaking to each other and therefore I can't do about half my crap at my computer, and therefore a lot of things are going to take for-fucking-ever. And I completely lost all enthusiasm for doing anything not immediately necessary, which thankfully isn't much but ugh.

Instead I am having a fit of Darwin and reading The Secret Country by Pamela Dean, which started more slowly for me than I expected but now I'm halfway through and I don't want to leave and do capoeira, I just want to sit and finish the trilogy. And sulk. But also read.

Basically if you grew up on Narnia and the Psammead and adventures of that ilk, you will find this very familiar and perhaps comforting. Or that's how I see it.

It doesn't help that I'm PMSing all over the place. The boy had some errands to run and some car repairs to get done today, so I didn't see him before I left for work. Come noon I was absolutely emotionally convinced he was in a terrible car wreck (and absolutely mentally convinced that was the PMS talking and either he'd gone to bed or he was out fixing the light in the car) and lo, he did call after I left a message and he'd finished and we exchanged informations and settled on plans for the evening and see, PMS anxiety brain? The closer it gets to time to bleed, I swear, the worse my emotions get. Which hopefully means bleeding will start soonest and get itself over with.

Sigh. I wanted to get some writing done today. I had it in mind before the intranet crashed that I would get a bunch of work things done and then do writing and filing all afternoon. And no. I ran out of things to do and then I spent an hour, hour and a half falling asleep at my desk. This is deeply unpleasant. I'm hoping capoeira can help reset my brain so I can get some any work done at all.
kittydesade: (sorely fucking tested)
Words cannot describe how stressed I am about the shutdown, the boy's paycheck, my Mom's paycheck which she hasn't been receiving, all of it. Every time I see a 'Mitch McConnell blocks yet another attempt to reopen the government' headline I want to throw up. And that's just the aspect of current events that most immediately and directly affects me. I can't even begin to guess what's coming down the pipe, or how others are feeling about what's already here, the Trans Ban being today's oh for fucksake moment.

(I did call Mom today, because it's also been her birthday recently, and she seems like she's doing all right. I'm still going to fuss.)

I'm just stressed. I'm stressed about work and money. I'm stressed about paying for my damn fillings even though I know I need them and should just do the damn thing and put it on the or even schedule it a month at a time (no fuck you I want my damn bookshelves first and then I'll take care of my teeth) (yes I realize that's absurd), I'm stressed about will the boy have a job in September that pays him, I'm stressed about my country being an entire shitshow, I'm stressed about climate change and monarch butterflies. I'm stressed. And it's cold and my office is colder and I haven't gotten a space heater for it yet (apparently that my brain will let me spend a small amount of money on because it's office stuff) and it's deeply uncomfortable to work in it even though I desperately want to. Stressed.

I need to get to work writing things but today's been particularly busy day job wise and when I get home no doubt all I'm going to want to do is curl up under blankets and shop for more music I'm not going to buy for months on end. That's what I do when I'm watching a new series, I go "ooh I like that song", look up what it is, add it to a digital music cart, and then don't buy it until months later. Though to be fair that's because most of them are single songs from $.99 to $1.29 and buying one or two at a time isn't pointless exactly but it's easy to do that every couple of days and end up spending fifty bucks a month on music. And when I do it all at once after months, I have a better idea what I'm spending.

I should also get started on my self promotion. On Twitter if nowhere else. There, I did two things of self promotion. Maybe next week I'll get creative and shill some books. Mine and other people's. But it's hard to find value in my writing when I'm this stressed, and I know some of it is PMS, but more than usual it's also outside stuff because, well. You see this everything I'm pointing at? And. Argh.

(I think the PMS isn't making me feel like everything's terrible so much as it is eroding my ability to cope with the everything being terrible. Still argh.)

But I did figure out the last piece of the puzzle for my upcoming novel drafts, and discovered an awesome piece of girl gang history in the bargain. That's fun. Plus I remembered in plenty of time to renew my library books. Maybe that's what I'll do, make word count writing just in the novel I'm currently drafting real quick and then take endless notes on the upcoming novel draft in my library books. That seems like a thing that will remove sources of "why aren't you doing this you irresponsible person who thinks she's a writer" stress. I mean I always have those and most of the time they're dismissable with some self-adjusting, but ... but. Something. I don't know. I'm tired. And freaking out. How many times can I say 'stress' in one post? WE SHALL SEE.
kittydesade: (flaily kermit is flaily!)
It's been a day. A frigid day, mostly. Also a somewhat nervous day as I try to wrangle my brain back to what I should be writing. Again. Thankfully this time it hasn't gone too far afield but even so, brain wrangling. I'm pretty much constantly wrangling my brain on track with this or that, trying to keep it from working on that one project to the exclusion of all else.

It's fucking freezing here Mr. Bigglesworth, and yes I know it's worse in other places, a Canadian friend posted his phone display earlier and it was -19 up there which is a good 10 degrees less than it is here but I'm still cranky that it's so cold I need to mask up in order not to have my lungs freeze. But on the other hand I did discover that yes, in fact, that mask works astoundingly well to keep the blood vessels in my nose from freezing shut or whatever's going on. Plus I get out of breath less easily.

I managed to even get outside long enough to get a prescription refill. Which is good because I was going to run out next week.

And while capoeira got cancelled on Saturday because I hadn't slept well at all and the only other regular student texted in sick, I did get a nap in and dragged my dumb ass out to a game! My first RPG in years! It was a Vikingr game, so we were all vikings in the middle of supernatural shit, I was a fisherwoman favored of a Jarl and had been living on an island with supernatural creatures for a while when these warriors came up making a lot of noise and stealing the food of some other supernatural creatures and pissing them off. It's quite fun, and it's once a month on Saturday evenings so not only do I have time for napping between class and game, it's not taking away all my Saturdays. I missed gaming. AND. And we're still working on that whole board game night hosted at our house. I may be having a social life actually in person in town, at my speed (like, two events with friends a month is good for me), with people who aren't going to move away!

Well, most of them. Because of course the second I get involved in this one game, one off the players is possibly moving to Seattle for work. I'm fucking cursed, I swear.
kittydesade: (and so good night)
Well. I walked into Ben&Jerry's intending to get a sorbet or sherbert or fruit dessert of some type because I wanted fruit, and immediately was smacked in the face with vanilla, fudge, chocolate, caramel, cookie dough, and brownie smells. So I came out with a dish of lemon sorbet and a pint of some fudge cookie dough brownie vanilla ice cream thing. Whoops.

I did, however, get a whole crapload done with regards to Lifestyles notes. To the exclusion of all else, it turned out, once I got home and ate and realized I was exhausted. A lot of writing was done though. I figured out some family trees. I remembered to put the damn notes in the folder this time, and it'll get written down and scanned in and all filed away in Scrivener.

Tomorrow after class I think the day is going to be spent cleaning and taking notes. I really need to get digging into these notes so I can take these books back to the library and/or purchase one of them for myself. Although the other, as it turns out, will come in moderately helpful for the background I just figured out today. I love it when a novel comes together, and when several novels come together along the same research lines.

And! And, for a hilarity, the boy and I have started vagueplotting in the direction of getting another get together set in motion for the end of next month. Here's hoping we can keep the house cleaner than we have been so it's not such a scramble next time. To that end I suppose I'd better scoop the litter and pass the hell out. It's been a perishingly long day for some reason, it feels like it. Tomorrow, capoeira! Notes. Cleaning. All weekend, capoeira, notes. Cleaning. Writing. I got this.
kittydesade: (put some pants on)
I am so annoyed with myself for losing the Rochester family tree that, as far as I know, only exists in full in the form of a couple pictures I took and then deleted off my phone, that it's actually causing me to stop writing this one story I was going to put up on Patreon. I did a different one instead but aargh.

I'm going to go home, I'm going to check my computer backups of my photos because it might be on there, and then I'm going to write it down in a digital document that can't get trod on or misfiled or fall out of my pocket. And if it's not there, I'm going to recreate the fucking thing because I can do that, self. Yes, you can. You can change the names, re-create the thing, it's perfectly fine, you've never published anything with the very far back family tree, it's fine, self. Stop hating on yourself. Oy.

(I did manage to figure out that I'd already written some of another story with the proper names and relationships in, so that helped, but I'm still missing huge chunks of the family tree. Grr.)

But! I wrote today! Got some writing done, am likely to get some more writing done tonight, and am going to work up a list of chores that need doing when I get home so the boy and I can work on them over the next few days. We're doing fairly decently with keeping up some things, other things it's just too damn cold to do. (Mostly dishes, stupid pipes.) We may be able to host another thing next month. Which would be nice. I enjoy hosting when it's not panic panic clean panic I don't have the right materials to make food shit scream panic PMS a lot.

Mikey had his checkup today, his urine is good, his blood work has yet to come back, he's lost a little under half a pound which is ever so slightly concerning but he is an older cat and still has quite an appetite, so it may just be an off week for him. And we need to take him to the vet that did the surgery for a year follow up type thing, I don't think it's required so much as we want to be very sure, so. That's good news there!

Now. I just have to get home, do some patio work before I un-bundle myself, and hide under more blankets with writings. And maybe look on the desktop through photo backups for the stupid notes. Blergh.

ETA: HAHAHAHAH I FOUND THEM I FUCKING FOUND MY NOTES. I found the photograph of the notes, the most important notes anyway, I thought I'd done a second tree with more distant branches of the family but the important, central family is there anyway. Now to import it all into Scriv.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
Well today was fucking exhausting. Not in a bad way, but we had the biggest wholesale order I've had to deal with in ever, so that was pretty much the entire day. And then class at night. And now I'm sore and brain dead and in no mood to do the writing I should have been doing for the last few days. Bleh.

I have been reading some very good books though. In the last couple of days I devoured my way through Matt Wallace's Sin du Jour books, devoured being a very carefully chosen word. It's urban fantasy of the No Reservations type, and if you liked No Reservations Narnia and aren't afraid of some of your favorite characters dying repeatedly, this may be for you. I also read SA Chakraboty's City of Brass and promptly, after I finished it, went out and pre-ordered the sequel which I'm happy to see comes out very soon (five days I think). That is more like Jupiter Ascending in a different framework: previously very low class girl finds out she's actually the long lost secret heir to big fancy name family and title, and people want her for their own purposes for it. Also magic and wacky shit. Much more fantasy than science fiction or urban fantasy though.

I also have some very vivid stories I stopped in the middle of to royally freak out, PMS, and stress over a party and then crash from said stress. But alas, I don't have the energy to finish them tonight. Tomorrow. *pulls covers over head*
kittydesade: a male and maned lion with a paw over its face as if to say 'oh humans' (facepaw)
It's been emotional.

So we had the party on Thursday, it went great. Thursday night and Friday were given over to crashing hard, Saturday was capoeira, grabbing spices to fill out the cabinet again, and getting home and attempting to do some things but mostly crashing. I forget what if anything I got done on Saturday. Sunday was doing some reading but mostly a shitload of laundry, dishes, picking up after the party, etc etc.

And now I'm grumpy at myself for not getting writing done in all that time and man I need to untangle that particular knot from my brain. It's okay to crash after a huge party that you're not used to throwing, plus the fight and all the stress and cleaning and baking that led up to it. It's fine. Calm down, self. You'll pick it back up today and keep going, this isn't the end of the world, you are not worthless, the brainweasels can go sit in the corner and think about their sins.

Ugh. Also ugh because politics are happening, the federal government isn't getting paid, which includes my damn family and only by the skin of our teeth does that not include the boy. I am so so pissed about the whole thing. Especially at McConnell, who seems to have decided to be stubborn and obstructionist for no fucking good reason but because he's in a position and power and can. Oh the thoughts I've had.

On the other other hand I did figure out that half of last week's upset was me having an epic bout of PMS on top of certain people not actually listening to me and my organizational skills (no, I'm not pulling it entirely on my PMS but that certainly didn't HELP) so that explains a lot. In an annoying, why the fuck do we even have these levers sort of a way.

BUT. But. Now that I know that, I can compensate for it. Which today looks like taking a lot of painkillers and getting things done one thing at a fucking time. Everything is small fiddly tasks today. Why. Argh.
kittydesade: a bright red queen chess piece at the head of a diagonal line of white pawns on a white background (red queen running)
I don't know what to do with this exhaustion but all I can say is I hope the crash happens on Friday and not before. I have work today, class tonight, cleaning tonight and shopping for last minute chairs and plates and things since, yes, everyone is going to show up. This may be a product of having the Christmas Court after everyone's had their Christmas celebrations, and if we're going to do this again next year I'm telling everyone to fucking call it Twelfth Night. And getting a green dress and a tiara so I can properly be Medeous and threaten everyone with sacrificing them to hell. But this year everyone showing up means we're four-five plates short, and not sure how many chairs short.

So it's work, class, shopping, cleaning, pass out, wake up, more cleaning, work, get out of work early, go home, make ganache, panic, greet guests. Put on Lion in Winter so we can celebrate Christmas properly, with snark to snark combat and backstabbing. Boil orange peels so the house smells less like cats and more like orange. Panic. Yaaay. Friday I can crash. Not until after that.

I continue to be on track with writing and that is all I'm going to say about that lest I scare it off. I picked up Grumpy Old Mercs again to try and wind that down to a finish, which I'm going to try to do when I come to the end of the action even though it looks like it'll do that within 75-80k words. I then need to go back and integrate other POVs in there, because there was far too little of that the first time. Character bios are being written, research is being done. Slowly, since I seem to be falling asleep at my desk today.

Which still makes me wonder is this normal, is this lack of sleep, or is this my thyroid continuing to pack it in. But given how early I woke up of my own accord this morning I'm going to guess lack of sleep. I certainly hope so anyway.

Unexpected benefit to being the senior student in class today: class will go at my pace. I can push myself but it won't go past the point where I start wheezing and so on, assuming I don't push myself into an asthma attack. Which I'm pretty sure I won't do. There's also the part where I'm not sure anyone other than myself is going to show up tonight, and possibly one other guy who's as busy as I am, so it might be a very short lesson.

And then shopping for plates and things, and then baking, and and and. Oof. I can fall down on Friday, not before.
kittydesade: A cup of tea sits on an open book with perhaps some poetry written in it and singing around the edges (books and cleverness)
Oh the dilemmas of wanting more storage space on your phone but not really being able to get a new phone even apart from the cost because the iPhones keep getting shittier and shittier all the time. Bleh. Actually do they even make this model of iPhone anymore or am I stuck with no headphone jack and a phone you can origami?

(The epitome of first world problems. I'm not going to get a new phone, I'm just annoyed at having to delete photos from three years ago, mine or that other people have sent me.)

No, my first problems involving dropping large sums of money on their head are a) building the fucking bookshelves and b) getting my cavities filled and c) getting all the research books I want. C is less of a problem and more of a but whyyyyy don't I have unlimited funds to just buy all the cool books I want to study. Bookshelves first. The hilarinnoying part about looking at bookshelf plans is 90% of them involve starting with "now find the studs" and I'm all "three out of four walls of this room are brick-fill-brick, there are no studs there is only Zhuul" so, um. This is going to be a fun challenge. The fourth wall doesn't exist is a drywall partition put in to enclose off a bathroom, so that surely has studs somewhere in it, right? Right?

I have so many questions about what previous owners of the house have done with the building. So, so many. Not the original builders, mind! They seem to have built a very lovely house. But the previous owners? Who puts wallpaper over perfectly nice pine paneling? Why did you only paint one and an eighth walls red? With non-wall quality paint and no primer? what the actual FUCK?

Arrrgh. Bookshelves! There will be some. And I did go ahead and order one book ahead of the giant stack that I plan on ordering once I have somewhere that isn't the floor to put them. It's an excellent book about Anglo-Saxon England, with good scholarship and a good attitude towards the history and a lot of citations to various disciplines. By Nicholas Higham and Martin Ryan if anyone's curious. It's a good history book for Lifestyles, for Gjenganger, and then I have a couple books out from the library for the Skiffle series, and I think for the rest of that I may depend on JStor articles. We'll see.

In the meantime I need to rustle up some focus for writing work from somewhere. Yesterday I was able to make things up with character notes that I'd had floating around in my head and building off of that, today I just got all my 4TW folders in order and now I need to buckle down and do some vaguely directed work at what I need to get done this month. So that's going to be fun. Getting started will be heavy lifting, that is. Once I find a sense of direction and focus it will be actual fun, not sarcastic fun.
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
I have no idea what's going on, but I do not approve. I woke up this morning and I was all right for most of the morning until I got upstairs to put my makeup on for work and started to feel dizzy and woozy. I figured it was because I hadn't had breakfast, because I'd slept in too long and hadn't time to make anything for breakfast and I didn't have any protein bars left. But then even after I ate some protein bars, a couple tootsie rolls, some chicken, a fruit leather, I was still dizzy and woozy and fell asleep on the shipping cart for ten minutes or so. And then when I got home I was too tired to do much in the way of cleaning, which likewise is not helpful. It's entirely possible that I could be coming down with something again. I'd better not be. But it's possible.

Anyway, early bedtime tonight. And the good news is that today was slow ish at work, so I was able to get large chunks of background work done which, again, mostly writing out things that I had decided in my head, but that doesn't mean it's not writing! and now I have a place to look back and refer to if I need to. Unlike my family tree of the Rochesters. Grr. Still no idea where that went.AND I deleted the photos of my white board that had them on there. 

The dinner party is finally happening, taking shape for this thursday. We're hosting so many people we're going to have to go out and buy extra chairs, plates, and bowls. Glasses and flatware we should be in fine shape for thanks to my family's insistence on leaving me with a lot of Grandpa's kitchen equipment. But chairs and plates? I don't know. But everyone's bringing a food, and I'm cooking a couple of chickens and making a chocolate cake, and our fridge is well stocked with other goodies, so we'll be good for that if in the next 2-3 days we can get the house looking slightly less like, um. A college dorm with books stacked everywhere, I guess. Some of that is happening! The bookshelves are half done, the coat closet is cleared out. Thursday morning the poor boy is on mop duty for the floors all by his lonesome. Ah well.

But for today, early bed. Definitely early bed. Cleaning and more writing tomorrow. Early bed now.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
An entry I started yesterday and never finished because guess what? exhausted! "I am exhausted. I have half an idea why, being in pain is exhausting even if I did sleep a good amount last night, but I am exhausted and my brain is too tired to function and it's a damn good thing work isn't very busy or I would be repeating everything I had to do ten times to myself."

Anyway, thankfully the pain was pretty well gone by the end of the day yesterday, and I did get some writing things done and some day job crap done. And I managed to get through today, too, being pretty damn productive at everything if I do say so myself, including playing silly video games and watching Cowboy Bebop. Look, downtime productiveness is still productiveness.

This weekend is definitely a marathon cleaning session, too. Which probably means staying up to watch Cowboy Bebop isn't the best of ideas but it's Cowboy Bebop, nyah. But I've finally found out we're hosting up to fifteen people in our house so, hells yes we're doing a massive cleaning this weekend. I hope we have time to get it all done. I think we do, though. It's not exactly messy, just very very cluttered and things are all over surfaces in need of a good wipedown.

And later in the month perhaps, bookshelves! Elf Lord started discussing it today, which is nice and promising that he remembered saying he'd help me out with it. I've got money socked away for materials, hopefully it's enough money for a few bookshelves. Even half the walls would make a difference.
kittydesade: A woman standing on one hand, legs spread and one arm tucked in front of her chest, in mid-kick. (capoeira girl)
Well, for a long day full of day job crap (large wholesale order ow) and a good class that nonetheless left me so exhausted I walked halfway into a pitch black room, past the light switch, before I realized that maybe turning on the light switch might be a good idea, I'm not doing too badly!

But somewhere in all of this I managed to pull or wrench some muscles in my back so now it's either standing or sitting, and trying not to scream and swear too much every time I switch between the two positions. Ugh.

I did get some writing done today though! I got some background in Lifestyles filled in on lunch break and did get some research reading done (and once again I think I may have taken out the wrong book, although there may be a few nuggets in there. It's a somewhat narrow window of time in a specific history so I think there's going to be a lot of poking through books trying to find where the nuggets are.) I didn't get my physics done but I'm too tired and in too much pain to care right now. If I go to bed now I may be able to get up and do it tomorrow, anyway, that's good enough.

Ugh, why are bodies. Why do we even have these stupid muscles that crap out on us when we need them.
kittydesade: (blood makes noise)
Mildly annoyed at how slow I've been moving all day. I got up, did some languages in various ways, didn't exercise, and didn't clean and spent an annoying amount of time on the couch. I did get a chunk of the rest of the synopses done, so I have something to show for it. But it was like pulling teeth and it seemed like I couldn't get anything else done while I sat there dragging out word after word. And now I feel like I've wasted a free day. Ugh.

Double ugh because I'm reasonably sure that if I want a free day to sit on the couch and binge Downton Abbey I should, and anything else is caving in to the capitalist mindset that we're only equal to how productive we are blah blah blah. But then my brain says "you have so much to do and you didn't do any of it" and to that I say, eff you, brain. Ugh.

No, I did get things done. I got writing done, I got languages done. I got a bit of exercise done already and I'll get a bit more done before bed. I didn't get any cleaning done is probably the real reason I'm annoyed, especially with allegedly having a dinner party in a week and a bit and having mainlined Downton Abbey, which is not giving me realistic ideas of what a dinner party consists of.

Also it's still freezing in the office so Hindi will be handwritten today and you'll have to take my word for it that it got done. Beyond vocab. I might end up typing it up in the morning at this rate. Stupid old house with insufficient heating. (Only in some of the rooms. The rooms I pretty much live in are fine, but the office is brrr.)

Right. Anyway, I've got a couple hours left before bedtime and I'm finally awake. I resent that too. And I think, now that I type it out, I'm worried that a day of lounging on a couch and not having the energy or executive function to get up means my thyroid's packed it in again and I'll always be that way. But on the other hand I did a full day's work yesterday, got home, and did some writing things, and over the weekend after a day of capoeira and stopping off at work and then resting and such on Sunday I did a reasonably fair bit of cleaning, so maybe it's not that. And anyway nothing but a blood test can tell that so calm down, self. It's not unreasonable to take a day off.

Oy. Brains. Why do we even have these levers.
kittydesade: (Default)
Even for a busy day at work, I'm getting writing work done, so this is a promising start to next year. I got my week's update written, which turned out is actually more like a year ahead plan announcement but that's what you do around this time, I think. I got a synopsis almost finished, took a pause to write this. I did not get the research I wanted to get done, done, but eh, I can read over those books tomorrow. I still have the energy to get more synopses finished! And tonight I will attempt to get some Hindi and Arabic done and worked into my schedule again, because look New Year habits start on the first day of the week not on the first day of the new year for me. That's the only way I can keep it straight in my head.

And I woke up and for once felt well and energized enough to do some exercise this morning before I had to get a move on, which was nice. It'll also be nice not to have to get up at a specific hour tomorrow morning and exercise, but I'm going to try to remember to do my weekday routine stuff anyway. Get into the routine. Keep in the routine, especially with language study. I still have no idea how I'm going to work this, but I kind of liked the 'vocabulary into Tiny Cards on Monday, exercises the rest of the week' theory that I was going with. We'll see how that keeps up.

And I need to get better about making my lunches ahead. I know, in my defense it was a crappy couple of weeks full of being sick and tired and then having to clean up from said crappy couple of weeks, but tonight and tomorrow I should make my lunches for the next three days. Yes? Yes.
kittydesade: a bed strewn with pillows and comforter, white tones against a white wall. the bed looks very warm and comfy (my safety is my sleep)
Gaaah today has just been scattered from the jump. Starting with getting up hella early after a nightmare of finding a severed head in my bathroom at my old place in DC (in a pile of fake severed heads from some theatre thing no less), running around trying to get to my hair appointment in time, running through the rain to get to work afterwards. Getting to work and it's utterly dead so, putting everything else off, I made a bunch of color swatch sheets for my various markers and fineliners and so on. Because why not.

No but after that it was time to be a good writer. So I did a couple of deep research dives, one not for me and one because I'd grabbed a book from the library a week or two ago for this magically growing Bathory project thinking oh, yeah, it'll help me figure out where present-day Bathory came from if I go through past-Bathory and... no. Wrong empire wrong history! So then I had to do another deep research dive for that original material, never found it anyway, went digging for some related material. The library website would not freaking work. Two hours later I finally got two books on hold and one book out of the library once I found the damn call number and could just run down and get the stupid thing off the shelf. But. Argh.

Well. But after THAT I got all my macro edits from Starlight and Lifestyles sorted and printed out for highlighting so I can go through those this weekend, if I don't spend it trying to get my various novels up on Smashwords. Which I should have done months ago. Oh well.

Tomorrow: capoeira and then very little else, especially since I stayed up way too late on Writer Chat in discord talking about schedules, plans, etc. I didn't get much actual advice out of it but I did get some future accountability, which is good. And it's always good to sit down and have writer chat with other writers with similar problems. But since I was up at five in the freaking morning, capoeira and then possibly a nap and then more writerly stuff all the time, except when housecleaning. Hopefully Groot has gotten over whatever his flu was, especially since he's leaving soon. And hopefully everyone else can get to the center. Between yesterday and today we had a deluge of rain, this morning when I looked at the lower bridge across the river it looked as though the river was about to come up over it, and that's a distance of a fair few feet. (Again, the river is still many many MANY feet down from the house, so that's not the danger. And we still do have the higher bridge, but still. Yikes.)

Pfui. Sleep now. Hopefully a slightly more normal week next week, and a much more normal one after that.
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
*zombie groooooooaaaaaan*

So, I spent from Friday to Monday-ish, somewhat on Tuesday? Completely on the couch or in bed, not flat because of the congestion so I was basically propped up against the back of the couch which is the main reason I went downstairs to the couch in the first place. And miserable. And snotty. And prone to falling asleep at random points so I spent a lot of time reading books I'd read before and watching movies I'd seen before so if I fell asleep in the middle of them I didn't care.

Ugh. Not my favorite way to spend Christmas. But I didn't have any family demands I was canceling out of, lots of mutual friends' also having issues meant the Christmas court is postponed a couple of weeks so we have time to finish cleaning the house and doing some cooking, and the only Christmas present I wasn't able to use on account of being sick was my makeup. Not bad.

Christmas loot was lovely! Which is to say I got money from my family with which I bought a shitton of markers and makeup. Some makeup refills and some trying new products (Josie Maran argan oil moisturizers which given the face crusties I'm glad I did now) (and Tarte packs of moisturizer/primer/skincare crap the same, though I don't think I'm going to buy any full sizes) (and some Lime Crime stuff now that they're allegedly not evil anymore) and the shitton of markers I've been wanting to lay in for bullet journaling. I got a bunch of shirts and now I need to go through my closet and toss out a bunch of the ones I haven't liked as much. I got a bunch of storage bins for under my vanity and potentially in my closet? and some stackable recycling bins so ours will overflow less (it's just a trash-can sized thing right now and it overflows FAST which is a good thing but still) and then I can move the one we have now into the office for all the paper waste there. Some jewelry, some shirts. My absurd gourmet leather goods, plus a last minute sick and stressed purchase of handwraps I think I mentioned last entry, with the fire alchemy symbol from Fullmetal Alchemist on them. Ooh, and the jewelry mainly consisted of a megalodon tooth necklace because goddammit I wanted it. My precious. (Seriously, Hibernacula has some of the coolest shit, if pricy.) Um. Gah, what else. I got a wand stand for my office, and hopefully next month bookshelves will get constructed. Honestly, I'm pretty happy with the whole thing, and I still have some money socked away to pay for said bookshelves and... blegh. The only blegh part about this is I'm too sick to properly run around the house squealing.

Ah well. Work is pretty quiet, as it turns out, so hopefully I'll have energy to do a bit of cleaning and some very gentle yoga exercise when I get home. And time, because I will get some writing done while I'm at work and it's slow, yes? Yes, self. We can do that much. Slowly but steadily.
kittydesade: (Default)
I am definitely sick again. Not sure how long it's going to last this time but I swear the only reason I'm at work is because I knew it would be absolutely dead. And I was right! There was a period of about an hour when I had to do work but that was it. The rest of the time I spent doodling in my bullet journal, sniffling, and feeling sorry for myself and like I want a nap.

No, I lie, there was also a point earlier in the day when a twitter conversation led to me getting a pair of customized hand-wraps from the same place the braintwin got my bootwings (they're like bat wings but they go on my boots) and they're going to have the fire alchemist symbol from Fullmetal Alchemist on them. Because I am a Fullmetal Nerd. This isn't the first time the guy's had such a request either, he said. I believe it.

God help me, I am going out to a restaurant tonight, where I will do my best not to cough on anyone and to sneeze into my copious tissues. I am going out primarily for the fried onion and the gyro, though after this christmas I may get a deep fryer so I can fry my own damn onion at home if I'm sick. Or, more realistically, make the boy fry me one because if I'm sick and woozy I should not be anywhere near a deep fryer. Or the knife needed to cut the onion. But they have Fried Onion Of Unusual Size there and they have Gyros and I will prop myself up in a corner and eat tasties I don't have to cook and that will be nice.

And I don't want to call out of capoeira again tomorrow but the odds of me being able to be upright for long periods of time, let alone do the exercise that capoeira is, are not good. On second thought I may go in just to sit and cheer and point and sing. I could do that. I can provide instruction and take instruction and sing real well in Portuguese, so if I'm feeling alert, I'll do that. Otherwise it's under the blankets on the couch all the time. Who knows. I might feel fine by tomorrow.

Right now I feel miserable, and I am going to go home, write up my mockumentary that I've had in my head for a while but haven't yet gotten into a document, post it, and quite possibly go to bed. Because fuck everything. But especially viruses.
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
Okay well now that I have spent an obscene amount (read: a small portion of my Christmas money) on clothes, makeup, a wand stand, some stitch markers because IDEK where all of mine that weren't on projects went, more pens, Totoro postcards (PM me if you want one!), skin care products, even more pens (look I like these marker brush pen things shush), I think I am done spending Christmas money for one year. I'd also like to get some books from the local, but first I need to read the library copy of one of the potential titles and see if it's actually something I want to purchase and keep around the house. And then the rest of the money can sit in my bank account and wait until we start making bookshelves. Which hopefully won't take too long? I hope? I would like to have bookshelves ever. I would preferably like to make them myself, because we have walls with things to work around like radiators, and very tall ceilings. But that's up to the people I know who know how to make bookshelves.

I have not gotten any of the writing things done that I wanted to get done today, but I did get a bunch of author things done. I definitely need to get better about setting aside an hour on Sundays to update my website, write my week's report on what's been going on, and check in on my web presence. Update my Ko-Fi, update my Patreon if necessary. Etc. I need to do an assload of planning for next year. I have no idea when I'm going to find the time or energy between cleaning for the party and every other damn thing. Ugh. I also may need to figure out some way to make or keep a checklist on my whiteboard, maybe redo it every week so it doesn't stay embedded in the whiteboard? Magnet one to it? So I have a reminder more prominent than Habitica to do my mailing list, my Patreon, my website check, whatever else I need to do. Update my spreadsheet of markets. Last year was the year of me getting comfortable with Patreon, I guess this year is the year of me getting comfortable with administrivia. I can do it, I know, I just.... uuuuuugh juggling things.

I need to remember not to open both parts of the novel at once. That was stupid and if I do that I can't tell which one I'm working on at the moment. I did get the Mailchimp account somewhat rebooted, re-set-up, and a subscribe page coded in and up on the web page, and I got some edits in and all of that was so stressful day jobligations were actually relaxing. Well, the logistics part, the editing was mostly giggling at "house of liiiiiiieeess" from the Editrix. I still... what do I need to do. It's after capoeira and my brain is starting to shut down and there are things I still need to do. I'd like to do some more edits, I need to finish up the story for this week's Patreon and get that set up, I need to do the extra bit for this week's Patreon and set that to post Friday, and I need to figure out what the fuck the new Patreon tiers are. Well, the first couple since that's all anyone's pledged at.

(Also if I'm going to say I'm on Mastodon I need something that cross-posts between Twitter and Mastodon, I keep forgetting to cross-post there and this is just balls.)

Heh. Capoeira. I just figured out today that Groot is going to Brazil in, what, two weeks? Soon, and that means I'm going to be the most senior student in capoeira which means I get to teach. And this time, unlike the last several times I volunteered to go to class and teach (read: work out by myself for an hour and then go) there will actually be people there. Or a person. And while I know I can do it, I don't feel at all like I can do it. It's freaking me out. Hopefully somewhere between today and then I will stop freaking out and get in there and lead the damn class. I hope. I also need to bust my butt working out so I'm strong enough and have stamina enough to lead the class, but that's purely a physical thing. Also I need not to get sick till February. I can get sick after he comes back and can teach.

Meh. I should be working. I meant to log on and get some more writer work done and all I can do is stare at my classic rock playlist on spotify and make a mental list of five songs I need to download before I forget them all and start again. This is probably a sign I should go lay down somewhere.
kittydesade: (invente)
I have spent most of my writing time tonight listening to, hunting down, and cackling over classic rock music on the internet and I can't say I'm even a little bit sorry.

The way I got there is weird and convoluted. A while back (spring? ish?) I got a sample of NARS's Powermatte liquid lipsticks and liked it, and I looked them up and all their colors are names like American Woman, Walk This Way, Slow Ride, Light My Fire, Paint It Black, you get the idea. So I decided on American Woman for a trial run since that was the color of my sample and I did really like it, and then I went looking for it in my music collection, because I had a huge music collection of classic rock right?

No. Not right. I had them on cassette tapes. When I was thirteen and recording these things off of the radio. I haven't had as extensive a classic rock collection since, I don't think. Which I am rectifying now! But that was a huge, huge distraction tonight. Which I can't say I'm sorry about it either, it was fun, I needed that, it was light-hearted wonderful fun.

The boy is slowly getting better. Still weak but no longer feverish, still coughing but slowly getting better. I, on the other hand, seem to be fine now, which is the oddly funny but definitely perplexing pattern that seems to be happening. He gets really horribly sick with something that settles on his lungs, I get a head cold for two days. Not that I'm complaining given that he has a better time breathing than I do all of the time on average, but, um. What.

I found a cake that I think I'm going to try to make ahead of time, a day or so? I'm not sure how well it'll keep in the fridge or freezer but I'm going to try, for the Christmas Court. That, plus no I am not going to make a lasagna, some form of chicken will do, and that should take care of everyone in a minimalist way if no one brings anything edible. Surely someone will bring something edible. And other than that it's pretty much frantically clean the house starting Thursday, or rather frantically clean the downstairs. Which won't be that hard, I just need to find the energy somewhere. Work isn't as bad as I'd expected, surprisingly.

Right. I do need to get some form of writing done tonight before I curl up on the couch and refuse to do anything ever again. And there's not much going on in my life today. I bought some music, some pens, and looked at buying some makeup and clothes. Okay to be fair, rock music themed makeup is pretty cool. But other than that... eh. I feel like my life is very calm and boring right now. Which is great. I like calm and boring where the most exciting thing is what do I even choose from all these shirts omg.

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