[sticky entry] Sticky: Iwanna

Jul. 7th, 2027 05:33 pm
kittydesade: (to-do list)
For when I have free money, or to save up for these things:

Fyrinnae wish list 7.50 ea

Nyx Lippie Pairs:
Lace Detail & Nude
Honeymoon & ?
Jet Set
Foul Mouth
Little Denim Dress
Run the World

You need this t-shirt in your life.
Jeans that are not simple Lands End/LL Bean
Halter Top, Blue and Black only 35
Halter Top Keyhole Front 34
ROund Halter Neck Top, several colors no red 29
Twist Asymmetric Sleeveless Blouse, Black/White only 34 UM
Cut out stretch blouse 25, various colors none olive
Scoop neck cold shoulder flutter sleeve Five colors 30
Scoop neck strappy cold shoulder sleeve 4 colors, 25 probably clearance
Cold Shoulder top at JCP, pink and black
Asymmetric Cutout Long Sleeve Purple or Black 35
Cross-Front Pleated Cut-Out 40


Christmas:
Bras, at least 2 so you can throw out one or two of the many mended ones
Sweats?
Check your makeup stash
kittydesade: (disapproving hauser)
I discovered a new toy from Mary Robinette Kowal's twitter and a friend of mine: 4 The Words and I may never surface again. You fight things and get loot and do quests by writing. That's it. It's perfect. And it has a file save and rudimentary word process system so you don't have to worry about copying it over after (although I do, mostly). I've already written almost 2k worth of background for Jude. It's amazing. ETA: My referral code: QOQOY08535 and NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN.

Promptly following this adrenaline rush I had an unwelcome adrenaline rush of someone has already written this novel. Because literally on two major points, an upcoming YA trilogy was announced that's very very similar to Starlight and I just want to scream. I know it's not necessarily that much of an issue, especially if I don't read it until the second book is drafted and the first book is edited, but ... it hurts? If that makes any sense, it feels like I did all this work only for someone to get there first and better and more shiny and definitely with more publicity money behind and I just want to curl up and cry because all my work is useless anyway.

Which means instead I will do day jobligations, scream in private about the particulars to private friends, talk vaguely about my feelings in public so other people can know this is a common feel, and work on the writing projects in front of me because I know that comes from a place more of emotion than of reality and I know how to deal with it. Yes? ... yeah. It's not even that hard to refocus myself after the first bout of screaming. Being properly medicated, healthy, and not worrying (too much) about money helps a lot.

... What does not help is being so goddamn tired from packing for the fiber show and then now it turns out I need to contact my doctor to get my hormones (BC) refilled and I'm already PMSing something fierce and I kind of just want to burst out crying. At least I have a fair bit of lead time before I'm desperate for the pills but fucksake can't anything be easy or simple ever? I want a higher level adult to come take care of things until I feel rested. Or at least until I've slept 8-10 hours.

Well. I've gotten things done, things are mostly packed, I will come in tomorrow just to pack up the show yarn and then go home, the show is pretty much prepped for as much as it's going to be, and so work should be somewhat less fraught for a while. I hope. Which means energy to do all the other things at home and with writing, as they come up. Or not, since I think the next major deadline is just having things set up for Nanowrimo. Buuuut I do enjoy the writing stuff and to an extent even the cleaning stuff. SO, eh. Hopefully after the weekend and the Monday or Tuesday coming up I will have more energy, feel rested, etc etc, and maybe I won't sulk as much about needing to sleep 7-8 hours like an average person.

(I think what I need here is an icon of sulking.)
kittydesade: a bright red queen chess piece at the head of a diagonal line of white pawns on a white background (red queen running)
Well, that was a moment of ... irritation more than panic, but still. My Kindle wouldn't turn on for the longest time this morning, and it seemed to have a full charge so I wasn't sure what to do. I plugged it in finally and eventually it started waking up and noticing it was connected to a computer, so I'm guessing it was just at the end of its charge and hadn't flipped over to the 'Hi dumbass your battery dead' screen yet. Still, though. I am getting a damn Kindle for Christmas, I just have to figure out which one. Anyone have an opinion on the subject? I likely would only use it for reading books unless the Fire has amazing word processing capabilities. As far as I can tell though it's meant for output (video, audio, books) not input, which means I'd most likely be inclined to keep a Kindle for reading books and get a tablet for everything else at some nebulous later date.

Winter appears to have shown up giving us about a week of Fall? Maybe? And then just, winter. I exaggerate, but not by much. Yay climate change. I have tomato soup from Trader Joe's, I'm contemplating nice crockpot recipes for broccoli cheddar soup. And potato soup. Though to be fair I already have a recipe for Damn Fine Potato Soup and I just need potatoes and to make sure it crockpots well. (IIRC it does.)

I think I've hit the point where I need to decide, is it worth it getting only the minimum amount of sleep given both the stress of the current administration and winter, where I always need more sleep, or is it going to make me even less productive to stumble around tired not all the time but a good portion of the time. I spent a number of years only really needing 6 hours of sleep most of the year, and I deeply resent that that's no longer the case. But I think it's just going to be worse if I insist on only getting 6 hours and then it turns out I do need more and I'm just fucking tired and slow.

On the plus side I did finally wake up.

And then I made the mistake about complaining on Twitter that this influx of good horror makes me want to write horror but I don't know if I can write horror. My feed was instantly full of friends saying of course I could, which is good, but then someone said something that gave me an explosion of feral blood-eating plotbunnies, which is both better and worse. And now I have another novel to write. Novella? To sum up my current slate of things:

Long Road is in edits
Malachy is with the Editrix
Starlight has just finished getting second drafted
the second Lifestyles of the Modern Witch novel has a synopsis but will be drafted next year
Nerd Girls is waiting for me to finish with Long Road
Jude Against the Ghost Talkers is getting drafted next month.
I released Turing Shrugged on Kindle at the end of last month
White Noise is floating around somewhere with no projected release date

... So the next time I start freaking out about how I can't write fast or produce fast someone roll that list up and beat me with it.

Blergh. It's cold and I should put the gardens away, such as they were this year, and I don't think I wanna. Maybe I'll just do it over the course of the next week. And at some point I need to convince the boy to help me get the black plastic over the garden beds. Or just haul it on myself. Maybe I'll just haul it on myself tomorrow when I get home. Still cold. Still don't wanna.
kittydesade: (and so good night)
Aargh so tired. I keep thinking okay, tomorrow will be quiet, but it keeps not happening and since till next Thursday or so is the run-up to SAFF it will keep not happening until next Thursday. And I am so damn tired. I'm surprised I managed to finish a scene in Starlight today and get my words done. There's some more on my Habitica to do for the day but I can't bring myself to go look at it yet.

On the plus side, Memrise being so much more usable on the app even than on the website means I can play with it for five minutes' worth of breathing room.

Mostly I'm just tired. I don't think I'm even dropping anything I have to do except I guess Long Road, which has no immediate deadline at least. I should be doing something else but I'm too brain dead now to think about it. No, what I should be doing is using Habitica to make lists of things as I think of them and then checking them off, that's what it's there for.

But right now I should be going to sleep.
kittydesade: A series of arches centered, seemingly endless (endless doorways)
Looking at the texture of that cheese spread I think I overdid it on the cranberry goop. Oh darn. So I'll keep it chilled and when I go to the grocery in a few days I'll get more mascarpone and cream cheese and there will be more cheese ball dip thing. Still tastes pretty good though, upon dipping in a test cracker.

Blergh. I'm way behind on Inktober but not, apparently, behind on writing so much since right now I'm supposed to be prepping for Nanowrimo and working on Lifestyles synopses and Long Road. (Note to self: The thing you're looking for about tracing over existing maps? Is here. Which isn't the worst thing in the world. And then, obviously, finishing Starlight and Boon Doggie and maybe outlining The Fae After Tomorrow so I can get to work on it after I recover from Nano. That works as a plan for the rest of the month. I still don't know if I put up the schedule on Patreon but I guess it's a little late for that? Argh. Maybe not, there's only two patrons on that level.

We had a couple of days after we'd put the plants up of Mikey not throwing up but now he's back to throwing up roughly once every 24 hours again and ugh. I don't know. I'm a little worried. I'm a lot anxious but all his other signs are pretty good, the only other test we could run would be an ultrasound to see if something major is wrong. And otherwise it might just be an irritable digestive tract or something, but he won't bloody eat the food for sensitive kitty tummies. Well, he'll eat the dry food well enough, but definitely not the wet. I just don't know. Mikey why must you be so difficult.

(Mikey shrugs and scampers around the house yowling because his energy and every other function is fine, it's just this vomiting thing. Not hairballs and not bolting his food too fast, both of which he's done before but then we knew why.)

I feel a discontent in my head. Not sure why. I'm on time with my writing, the house isn't completely filthy and we're slowly figuring out all the longer term places to put things so half the mess isn't shuffling things from place to place. Work was quiet and not annoying. So what is this? Is this PMS? Current events? Which it bloody well could be. Impending dealing with the Healthcare Marketplace? (Oh god.) Feh. I blame Hamlet.
kittydesade: (waiting for the night)
I was not so good over the weekend as far as housecleaning went, partly because exhausted? lazy? both? and partly because PMS was kicking my ass. But I did get some things picked up, my side of the media cabinet straightened (next up might be getting books put back and the pedestal thing moved into the office like we said we'd do so I can get the ladder up to the bookshelves proper) and dinner made when we were eating dinner instead of just scrounging, so I'll call that a net household win. No additional messes were made and left and some were cleaned up.

And! And I remembered to schedule two patreon posts upcoming, which is also a win since I haven't been regular about that at all up till hopefully now. And I managed to only get a little distracted by projects that are Not What I Should Be Working on (*cough Italian Renaissance families cough*) mainly because I found a scrap of paper with some information I needed to enter into a Scriv file on it.

Work kicked my ass today so writing happened considerably less than I wanted to but I got almost to the shooting part of the one scene, which may or may not even fit in anymore but I might as well write it as I outlined it in case some part of that still fits. Less editing and absolutely no note taking although I might do some reading before bed. Probably just silly language quizzes and physics videos.

I guess the plus side to all of this is I have the spaghetti sauce and the cranberry orange cheese spread made now, plus most of the ridiculousness at work today was dealt with in its entirety so I don't have to deal with it tomorrow. Which hopefully will mean I can get more writer work done! I am so close to finishing this novel and having the moment of if I didn't have to work a day job I would have this done by now. Sigh.

(To be fair even if I didn't have to work a day job today was eventful enough that I would probably have stayed all eight hours and been home and done cooking anyway. But still.)
kittydesade: A cup of tea sits on an open book with perhaps some poetry written in it and singing around the edges (books and cleverness)
Aaaand I'm back to marrying the boy for health insurance. Which isn't the worst thing ever except that it's only a solution for me, and not the millions of people who are about to be priced out of health insurance. But it's a stressor we didn't need considering that while I'll get better insurance that won't go away at the end of the year because an asshole is in the White House, it's still going to be more per month. I really, really hate that man.

I'm semi participating in the Twitter Boycott. Which is to say I'm taking advantage of possibly a lot of interesting people being off Twitter to not look at it for a while, regain my equilibrium or as much of it as I'm likely to get. Hopefully get work done. It's allegedly an ill-luck day, but in other places Tuesday the 13th is an ill-luck day so who the hell knows. What I know is that work at the start of the day is a more manageable, less chaotic load and so maybe I will actually get things done.

I'm tired. And sad. This country was doing so well. Getting better. And now, not at all so much. And I think the boy might have brought home stomach flu from work.

I did something not really stupid but kind of ridiculous and checked out a couple more books from the library on trains and westward expansion and the railroad companies, even though I'm technically not working on that now. I'm going to make my goal on this to read the two books that aren't Union Pacific and not take notes unless something jumps out at me, and then see if I want to buy them or if they're just going to clutter my shelf. The good part about Westward Expansion as a time period in US history, a zeitgeist, is that it's also full of precedent and possibility as far as historical fantasy fiction goes. Or even plain old historical mystery. So if I did buy the books eventually I wouldn't just use them for untold possibly unplaced Rochester stuff, I could use them for all kinds of things.

Look, I have a book buying habit when it comes to THIS IS A COOL THING I WISH TO LEARN ABOUT. Seriously. And I still really need those damn floor-ceiling bookshelves. Really the boy and I both do, our books are right now on either silly plastic rigs or falling apart flatpack bookshelves. In time, though. All in good time. First the office, which would be likely easier to paint and then put shelves up than the hall, which is fine at the front of the house but then there's the stairs and the 14'-16' drop and um. There would need to be extendable poles. A lot of using of them. .... Maybe we can paint just two walls and then the other one that has to be plastered over later...

I really, really want my office to be done okay? I have ideas, I've had plans for a while, but I still do not have my office.

Anyway. I am not going to class this weekend because of whatever this is churning my stomach and making me five kinds of uncomfortable, which means this weekend is going to be the weekend of sitting my ass down and doing nothing but reading for pleasure, reading and taking notes (also for pleasure), writing, and occasionally cleaning as the mood strikes and I get up all "THIS IS FILTHY I WILL CLEAN IT NOW." Probably this will also include clearing the bookshelf out in the office because good goddamn I have a bunch of things in there that I've had for almost ten years now and never actually touched. They need to go out of the house.
kittydesade: (do not thump the book of g'qon)
I don't remember where I first heard the saying about plans not surviving their first engagement with the enemy (in most cases for us non-combatants the enemy being life, I guess) but boy howdy that has been my entire week. I have so many ideas and things to get through over the day and if nothing else at night and then work crises sap all my energy and by the time I get home dinner is cereal and a brownie and I'm collapsed on the couch watching Barnaby have periodic revelations at inconvenient times for his family.

I ended up doing a bit of stress shopping at the local bookstore, I didn't find a Leuchtturm notebook for Long Road but I did find a silk road book finally! I have no idea who the author is but they do have at least some reasonable source material in the bibliography and hopefully it'll be a jumping off point. And as far as the research books go it was actually one of the considerably less expensive ones, so I don't feel bad about it. There was also a kid there looking for a book on the history of the Russian revolution (presumably Bolshevik?) and if I'd been less tired I probably would have tried to help him. Ah well, they're good folks at the bookstore though, they should be fine.

I haven't finished the synopsis for Lifestyles book 2. I haven't finished Starlight although I'm apparently within five scenes of doing so at least for a draft. I know that's going to require extensive edits but at least the bones of it will be there. I haven't finished the back cover for the hard copy of Turing Shrugged. I haven't done any research reading. I don't want to do my languages. I just want to curl up with a nice fiction book and be asleep for twelve hours. Thank god it's almost the weekend. And that I don't have to do anything or be entertaining for anyone, I'd be terrible at it. I just have class, and then I can come home and be flat and clean and write and clean and what have you. I am very much looking forward to being flat for longer than eight hours or so.

But on the plus side my lungs do seem to be slowly recovering with medication both doctor prescribed and of the herbal supplement type, time, and exercise. Which might indicate that what they needed was gentle strengthening as well as rest and I wasn't sick at all.
kittydesade: (lioness)
I give up I don't even know what's going on with my lungs. The boy said it's not likely I have walking pneumonia if I haven't been exposed to pneumonia (I guess it does not spontaneously develop out of cold symptoms? Not sure what the what.) and after the first couple weeks back from DragonCon I never really developed a bad cough as far as goo on my lungs went. I have been coughing up a little but it's usually two to three minutes of coughing a couple times a day. Not very clearly defined You're Sick Take The Day And Go Lie Down.

Weight/food talk among other health things )

I resent this whole asthma lungs no worky thing. I also am increasingly convinced that running whether for pleasure or as exercise is a myth. Surely humans don't actually run for more than an 8th of a mile without getting stabbed between the ribs by their inability to breathe.

Seriously, I've never been able to do this, I have no idea what it'd be like to be able to run. Y'all are as mysterious as unicorns to me. Maybe more so, unicorns I get. Running is IDEK.

Yesterday was the day of all the yarn, today is considerably more relaxed since most of it involves labeling and getting stock out on shelves or up in storage, which I like a lot better because I can take my time with it and not rush. And it's a capoeira day so I extra double plus not having to overwork myself. Physically. She added, looking at the pile of various writing-related things to read, research, write, post, write some more. Take notes on. Heh.

Okay no, first thing's first. Making a few lists of grouped things to do on Habitica, at some point I need to figure out how best to take notes on things, should I write them down in a notebook? Should I type them up on a computer? Should I write them down and then scan them into a computer so I have backups if I need to? In the event of that last one if I have reasonably good handwriting is there an OCR program I should look into? Actually that might be the best thing because I like having notebooks around but I also have a bad habit of leaving shit where it can get knocked over or water spilled on it, so. But that's a later problem, first is reading things and taking notes on things and getting all the other fiddly shit done. Deep breaths, self. Deep breaths. And remember you're going to be useless tonight after class.
kittydesade: Stippled light shining through curtains onto a couch or bed bracketed by white pillows. (hideaway)
So it turns out we are not going to have a guest over the weekend due to other people's shenanigans. Which is a slight relief because I seem to have learned my mother's A GUEST IS COMING OVER EVERYTHING MUST BE SPOTLESS reaction. But also kind of shitty for her because of, again, other people's shenanigans. I kind of want to shake people on her behalf from what little she's told me. Ugh.

So I guess we just end up cleaning the house slowly and steadily over the rest of the week, which is also fine since I was flat on Sunday instead of mopping like I meant. Put things away. I should finally get rid of the damn notebooks on the hutch by typing in the notes like I keep meaning to do and then not doing. I think it's nerves, they're notebooks from over eight years ago when I was in Ohio, unmedicated and undiagnosed but also probably either depressed or bipolar, definitely hypergraphic so they're going to look a bit of a horrorshow. But there might still be good ideas in there, so I'll give it a look. Slowly but steadily. And we can maybe get some yard work done and put the gardens to bed.

Not today though. It has been a Day. Somehow a buttload of wholesale orders went out along with some retail orders, all of it our house brand yarn, the stack of boxes is about a foot shorter than I am (okay two if you count the cart height) and that's a lot of poundage and dollar-age and I am goddamn tired. I need five naps and a pizza. I do actually have the pizza though.

I did manage to get the damn Jude novel started on Nano, though. Some back cover art done for Turing Shrugged so that can get finished up as soon as I rest my brain some and come up with back blurb. I'm hoping I have the energy once I get home and get some pizza in me to do some edits and churn some more text out from the last two stories I'm working on before Nano starts. I've just been so goddamn tired lately. And I can't tell anymore if that's because shit will not stop happening or because the asthma makes me tired or what. Or life. This country. Politics. The environment. All of it.

I can get this writing done tonight, that's what I can do. Remind everyone to take care of themselves at the end of the day, take care of myself, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Not obligated to complete the work, just do your part and don't turn away from it. Yes? Yes.
kittydesade: (put some pants on)
Okay. Well. That was a weekend lost on Saturday to capoeira/work/wedding and then on Sunday to doing absolutely nothing because I spent 75% of it asleep and 25% of it flat. Or maybe take 10% of that out of there and use it for sleeping and showering and very occasionally putting things away. But still. I have so much resentment.

I did at least manage to get some stuff done on prepping for Nanowrimo as far as choosing a synopsis goes. Which is to say that I put it up for a Twitter vote and of course Twitter chose Labyrinth because why would the internet do otherwise. I got all? I think, all of my characters from the first story put into a Scrivener Wiki type document for future reference, including digging up some titles for Jude that they'd made up for her that I'd forgotten. Because now they'll be floating around out there.

I didn't get edits or other crap done that I wanted to because work was busy, and I'm tired of being tired and not having enough time in the day to do my writing work, ugh.

I'm also tired of worrying about Mikey. We did put all the plants up, admittedly only a day or two ago, but he's still vomiting so him eating the aloe and/or the amaryllis doesn't seem to have been the main cause? Unless it takes longer than a day or two for the toxins to stop making his stomach upset, I don't know. I should have put them up earlier but with all the cats and plants we've never had a problem with him eating them until recently when I caught him gnawing on an aloe. And I don't know what else it could even be, he's got a reasonable appetite, he's got the same amount of energy he's always had, he doesn't seem to be in pain. UGH.

Blegh, I don't know. I'm feeling rather discouraged about everything tonight, despite having gotten a fair bit done and things going not awfully. This probably means it's bedtime. Especially since I have some heavy lifting to do tomorow.
kittydesade: (do not thump the book of g'qon)
The Pacific Rim Uprising trailer dropped just when I needed something to cheer me up from the endless parade of men being scumbags to women on Twitter. Ahh my skin is clear my mortgage is paid everything is sunshine and giant fucking robots.

I see there are some arguments? Complaints? Observations? It's hard to tell the tone that the robots are shinier and more Transformers-esque than Pacific Rim 1. Which is true, they're not fighting a last ditch effort in a losing war, they've had time to develop and rebuild and improve the technology. I don't mind it, I think it looks like they've made a super saiyan movie instead of a post apocalypse movie and that's fine by me.

I got some more editing done! Go me. And what I should just do is paste the rest of the Gevaudan shit into the document since I know that as a whole that's going to go in there, and cut things as I see fit later. I also restored the outline notes on Starlight so I can actually see what the hell I'm doing when I stop in the middle of a scene instead of deleting them when I start the scene like an idiot. Let us never speak of that again. That was one of the dumber things I've done lately.

And I'm pretty sure at least part of it is being consistently tired due to I can only assume the asthma. I'm a little wondering if there's a walking pneumonia component to this but I don't have any symptoms except getting winded way sooner than I should be, as in going up one flight of stairs, and being tired. Which is a noted result of aggravated asthma. So... hell. Apart from the usual asthma treatments I'm not sure there's anything to be done. But it's exhausting and aggravating and moo. I've got stuff this weekend, a person over next weekend, and after that I think I'm just going to try to relax for a while and not push myself physically. It's getting into winter anyway, there's no gardening to do and I can do the house cleaning slowly slowly as it goes. We've been getting shelving, putting things on shelves, organizing things, moving things to better places, etc, over the last couple of weekends anyway. I just have to not feel like I need to rush. Yes? Yes.
kittydesade: An open book with the top edge smouldering on fire (break my staff burn my book)
Well I got a hell of a lot of sleep and my brain is still in pieces. I took three tries stepping out of my alcove to go get packing paper and on the first two ended up getting first halfway to the kitchen and second a rolling stock cart before I reset and realized what I actually needed and got it. So that's how my day's going!

I did manage to get some of the store hat knit and a synopsis for Pen Bryton written, though, and even if I haven't re-read the original I feel like it's a stronger novel for a decade or so's writing experience. I got some editing done in Long Road if not as much as I wanted, but I also did chop a bunch out since the Hundred Years' War didn't make it through and we'll see how that affects the word count. The Gevaudan section was huge anyway. And I think it'll flow somewhat better if I increase the through-sections and make the historical sections a bit more consistent. I wanted to get more done today but we're also short at work at the moment so I ended up out front knitting.

We had an entertaining if low-key alarming incident with Bat Cat when I got back, wherein the boy came up to me alarmed because he hadn't seen Bat Cat in a few hours and he couldn't find him. After doing a cursory examination of the ground floor I went out the back door and stood on the porch and called him and yes, he came trotting up. At which point I draw two conclusion from this: firstly that I can't ever again claim Bat Cat isn't Mommy's Kitty, and secondly that we need to get him his immunizations ASAP.

So much cleaning I want to get done this weekend, but Saturday is going to entirely be taken up with capoeira, work, and the wedding party thingie. I guess it's Sunday and basic going through the house and putting things away, wiping down surfaces. Meh. But it is cleaner than it has been around DragonCon.
kittydesade: (this old house)
I am exhausted for some reason, worse than the not going to bed early, and yet also incredibly hyper so that I can't focus on any one writing task and now I have a list of around ten tasks to do before I maybe go to capoeira today. Because I suspect the some reason I'm exhausted is my lungs are being crappy again; I was coughing this morning in the way of There Is A Thin Film Of Something On My Lungs. I took my inhaler and that seemed to do something, but not much is doing anything for this feeling of being feverish (I took my temperature and none registered) and groggy.

Out of that list of ten twenty however many things to do let's see what I've done:
Published the Kindle version of Turing Shrugged
Made my writing calendar for the month
Posted said writing calendar to my Patreon
Moved a bunch of text from the Long Road doc to Scrivener to get an idea of where it's at
Tweeted about having published the Turing Shrugged on Kindle

... there was more to this entry but nope, it's lost in an increasing stupor of uugh to hell with this I'm going to sleep.
kittydesade: (under construction (nopejr))
I was mostly fine when I got to work, I had on a fantastic face of makeup, I managed to get the shitpile of mail out, and then the news reporters I follow on Twitter started posting excerpts of that horrible man's speech to Puerto Rico, for which he is wasting good goddamn money and resources on his own security while he's there, and now I just want to murder things.

I've also been having quite a bout of MY WRITING IS SO BAD COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE'S for no damn reason that I can see, and it's aggravating. Especially when I'm trying to generate synopses for Nanowrimo to decide which I'm going to work on. (Which reminds me that fuck I should put up my writing schedule or at least make one for Patreon.) I managed to finish one very late at night, which is of course when I'm posting this. And I managed to write my daily words for Starlight, so I guess I'll take that as a win.

Hell, I came up with a synopsis I really really like and want to write at some point in the future even if I dont do it for Nano, plus my brain did that I turn my back for a moment and when I turn back a quarter of the puzzle is done, thing. I still have no idea how my subconscious puts stories together like that, pattern recognition practice I guess? But I'll take it.

And I said I was going to go to bed early tonight. Heh. Oops.
kittydesade: A white feather quill laying across an open book with yellowed pages (am scribing)
Once more with extra nausea: "Well, this all seems... horrible."

That's about the extent of the commentary I have today on the subject of the last self-induced horror in this country. I'm just too tired and too done to comment further and I'd rather put my energy to helping people survive the initial shock to push for a stronger, longer term solution.

... oh look Tom Petty's ETA: almost dead now. This day is trying to set a record of horrible isn't it.

So this means dinner tonight is cranberry cheese spread, the recipe for which I will share with you since it seems I haven't yet.

Cranberry Cheese Spread
8oz mascarpone
8oz cream cheese
8oz cranberries (frozen or fresh)
8oz orange juice
orange extract or zest
4tbsp sugar

Bring the cranberries and orange juice to a low boil, then let simmer on medium heat until the cranberries are skin fragments and goo.

Mix cranberry goo (doubles as homemade cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving!) with mascarpone and cream cheese. Add orange extract or zest to taste and 4tbsp sugar, more or less to taste. Chill and serve with crackers or whatever else you like to dip into fruity cheese spread.

Ugh. Today was one of those days where I got only the bare minimum of writing work done, but hey, it got done. I also read Scalzi's Whatever post about how his productivity has been pretty far down this year, which led me to consider that this has actually been one of my more productive years, and why. (Hint: Yes, it has to do with me growing up in DC.) In a way I've long been able to deal with life is awful and political and ever since I was eleven or twelve my response has been GIVE ME A WRITING IMPLEMENT I WILL WRITE MANY ANGRY WORDS. I'm not kidding, when I was eleven or twelve, I forget which set of riots it was, but I wrote a long screed on a blue-green lined notebook about JESUS FUCK WOULD YOU ALL CALM DOWN AND STOP HURTING EACH OTHER ALREADY. Of course with less swearing. I was actually pretty mild-tongued right up until late middle school, I think.

Anyway. I take it back, I got the bare minimum of writing done and edits, which was most of today's heavy lifting, and the first two days' worth of Inktober done. I'll scan those in at work tomorrow because I don't feel like setting up the scanner at home or my by now old and tired ass computer. Which desperately needs updates and so on. The first day or so was the hardest but today I just decided to chuck it out and go with the Inktober official prompt list and whatever the hell the prompts inspire in me. Yay.

Today was also pretty chaotic at work, so I feel good about getting any writing work done and a healthyish dinner eaten. And tomorrow looks like it might be simpler to deal with at work, which is to say straightforward processing orders and shoving them out rather than five phone calls, logistics, more logistics incoming and more logistics and then processing orders and shoving them out. So hopefully I can get some writing done. I'd like to, given that I'm way behind in generating Patreon content, publishing Turing Shrugged, and prepping for Nano. Okay not WAY behind but behind enough that I don't want to sink back any further.

ETA: As of around midnight tonight EST when I actually hit post on this thing Tom Petty's manager has confirmed his death. So... yeah.
kittydesade: (invente)
I ended up taking NyQuil last night, not so much to fall asleep and stay there as because as the night wore on my allergies got worse and worse and rather than take a non-drowsy 12-hour antihistamine two hours before bed I stuck it out and took the NyQuil and went to bed once it had kicked in.

I think it actually helped some that my first post-college-drought kitty was when I was living in the boy's parents' house with the boy, because that meant that we could sit on the bed last night and talk about our silly tailless Gretchen kitty and how she'd curl up on our feet and how tiny she was when we found her, and all those wonderful things. And I knew I wasn't alone, because we were both there and we both loved her and will miss her. So that helped. So did cuddling all of the current household of cats. (SO MANY WE HAVE SO MANY CATS I HAVE SO MUCH FUR TO SWEEP UP.)

I have no idea why but for whatever reason I have decided that this is the weekend of clean and cook all the things, so there's now a third batch of mashed potatoes for the month cooking on the stove, a batch of cranberry-orange cheese dip in the fridge, and materials to make a spinach lasagna in the kitchen. Plus notes on breadmaking when it's not quite warm enough to rise the dough and not at all cool enough to kick the radiators on to do it by those.

I submitted a story today! Tonight. At almost midnight but it was still before midnight so it was today so who's counting. Someone posted a link to a submissions call on Twitter right as I was doing something with the Rochesters and the Lifestyles of the Modern Witch series, I forget what but I have the email I sent to the Editrix all "HEY I FOUND WHERE THE [THINGIE] GOES." So I wrote the story and if it doesn't get accepted, what the hell I'll put it out there myself somehow. I'm increasingly developing a very YOLO attitude towards submitting short stories. And querying novels, come to think of it.

Oogh but then I stayed up too late doing the cooking and the querying and jamming in sideways all the other things I usually do at night. Here's hoping I'm awake enough to do facekicking tomorrow.
kittydesade: (fragile heart)
Well the morning was going well and then I got the news that Gretchen, our little no-tail kitty from back in Cinci, had to go to rest. If I remember right she had some form of difficult cancer so it's not terribly surprising but there went my entire morning if not my entire day. Plus Bat Cat and Murdock got into it again. (Mostly Murdock's just an ass.) It's not that I'm feeling like having cats is a bad idea, but I'm feeling like having cats is a bad idea because it only leads to heartbreak. At the same time I want to go home and cuddle my cats for the next week.

Between that and getting less sleep than I should have last night I am also feeling slow and stupid and bad at writing, which would be a lot less of an issue if I hadn't decided to write fiction for a second job/life career/something like that. I'm not so tired that I don't realize this is me being tired and in time this too shall pass? But argh.

I guess on the plus side though I did get some more of Boon Doggie written. And some of Long Road edited. And today when I get home I can try and lay out White Noise some more, and figure out ... something. I'll write something. Words will be written. And I'll format and send off that one submission. I have so many grand ideas of having promo copy written up for my next five books before I get there and doing two second drafts at once and I have the energy and attention span and happiness to do exactly none of it. Maybe being on the couch with pajamas on will help. Hugging some of the cats, which ones will deign to be hugged, will definitely help.

It's at least trying to get on towards winter, which means time to knit all of the things. Which means once i'm done writing and trying to contort myself around Arabic and Hindi word sounds I'll have something to do along with watching Midsomer Murders that is not think about cats dying and the state of the world. So that's a plus, right? Of course right.

Yeah I'm just generally tired and sad. It'll pass with some sleep, I guess.
kittydesade: A small stack of books tied together with string, a blue book is the top book with a card with a blue heart on top. (always something to be read)
Slowly, slowly I am catching up on writing things. Although also faster than I expected to be. Turing Shrugged might actually get out on time as far as digital copies go, dead tree copy will take a while because it's taking me a while to get my ass moving and my mind coordinated enough to send a proof copy to the Editrix. I finished the train story on goddamn time! Just under the wire, but on time, which is to say I finished the structure of it and Editrix read it over and pronounced that I could fit some more characterization in, so I will give it an 8 hour rest or, well, more like 12 because capoeira, and then look it over and format it and submit it tomorrow eep.

Speaking of submissions, an opportunity to submit to a horror podcast crossed my feed and now while I have all of the enthusiasm I have none of the confidence in my ability to write good horror. Poop.

Okay, but no. If I'm very lucky and can get to the post office while there's still time I can get some more words written in the White Noise short story and then some more words written in Starlight and be all of the awesome. Bonus points if I get some Long Road edits in there. And. Aaaand at some point I'm going to have to go back over Malachy but that can probably wait. And I need to outline Nanonovel candidates but that can definitely wait. In Pen's case at least until I've looked over the last draft and read a few more mysteries. I wonder if Lehane has anything new.

Although my to-finish list is so long. SO LONG. I have to finish Cloud Roads by Martha Wells, I started that and it seems to be going well. I have to read Horizon by Fran Wilde whose first two books in the Bone Universe I devoured already. Highly recommend. After that it might be time for a reread of Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older so I can devour Shadowhouse Fall which I just got and after that maybe I get to alternate some trad mystery with whatever the sequel to Cloud Roads is, Six of Crows, etc etc. So much reading. And too little making time for it, although in my defense I've been sick and cranky and scattered and frustrated and semi-worried about a cat. Apparently needlessly worried.

I continue to discover that I am the princess on the mattresses on the pea, or something I'm not sure what. First the comforter was too itchy, then it was too hot for the other comforter and I grabbed a sheet and then I finally slept like a baby. BUt on the plus side I slept like a baby even if I had deeply uncomfortable dreams, and I should be able to replicate these conditions in the future so I can stop having nights of waking up and being awake way too long.

I have faint hopes of being able to sort out my office by the time Nanowrimo gets around. And then, you know, actually writing in my office. We'll see how well that goes.
kittydesade: (irksome)
Ahahah it's the 26th of September and I haven't finished the short story I had that I think the deadline for submission was on the 30th oops. And of course now that I've realized this my brain has gone into a panic and focus is not happening. Because such is my life.

No, wait, it turns out that lack of focus was a precursor to what I hope is only a headache. Please no migraines today I never did reup my triptan scrip.

I need to finish my damn Roc and a Hard Place story. I need to finish Starlight because I have all the last scenes outlined and I'm slowly chipping away at it but the last three weeks have been a couple quiet days and then a three day clusterfuck, usually a health-involved clusterfuck. I need to do edits on Long Road, start prepping for Nano, try and balance all of this with talking up Turing Shrugged, and every time I think of all of this and how behind I am in some or another thing I want to cry.

On the other hand the house has stayed... not clean clean but cleaner than it was, for a while. Except the hallway where the cat post is because they really love that scratching post and within about a day of me sweeping the hallway it turns into an explosion of carpet bits, or whatever that thing's covered in. But eh. That's what happens when you live with cats, along with weekly construction of a frankencat out of all the goddamn hair they shed.

Blergh. I don't really have anything cheerful, although none of this is dire, either. I just have a headache and deadlines and projects and one thing at a time, I guess. At least this week isn't chock-a-block full of either illness or health care visits. Or whatever else was going on the two weeks before last. Mostly illness I think. Aaargh.

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