kittydesade: (and so good night)
So I read XKCD this morning and laugh-cried at how real it was. And then I realized that the best way to deal with those numbers (at least for me, obv) was not to convert it into an equally hard-to-grasp equivalency of pizzas, but to convert it into "what household crap that I need to buy can I buy with that 12k I'm saving, a bed, a TV? a fridge?" and "what is the average cost of having this done *googles* and how much are they saving me" and "what other work am I going to want to do on this house in the first five years of ownership."

In case anyone around me was considering buying a house sometime soon and was also flailing over numbers.

Though thinking of my house we've got a new house being built across the street and another house was recently refurbed and sold some doors down, so I ended up looking up what our house is going for on places like Zillow, and even accounting for Zilloflation holy fucking shit.

The housing market, man. I don't even know what the hell people are thinking.

I did not get nearly enough sleep for the work day I'm having. We had three freight shipments this morning, usually we get that many in a week, some of which we needed for orders, we had backorders coming in that had to be logisticked out into shipped orders, and by now my head is spinning with guilt at not being able to write the things that people want me to work on or the things that I feel I should work on and at best I can do flash card like things with my brain. At worst I'm good for direct responses to questiosn and that's about it.

I need naps. Multiple. All of them. I just tried to drink from my water bottle before I opened it. I keep staring at work-related word things and it takes me a second to make them make sense. I mean on the plus side this is one hectic day at work plus some crappy sleeping? On the other hand dear god I hate not being functional and this is pissing me off and feels never-ending. Not to mention I just remembered how chaotic last week was and argh.

*sighs* Flash cards it is. I have the rest of a day at work, some grocery shopping, and then maybe I can either nap or read and fake napping enough to get my daily quota of words written so I can go to bed without THAT guilt too. On the plus side yesterday's sneezing fit seems to have been allergies because I'm not feeling it today at work in my nice concrete office/store building at all. So if it comes back next week, just start off with the anti-allergies and it should be fine. I hope. Did I mention I'm tired of being tired.
kittydesade: (facepalm - dean)
So I guess the good news at the dentist is I don't need any immediate work, but the bad news is I might need eventual work. Well that's fine, my regular dentist has been saying I need at least one crown for several years now, that can just fuck off another year.

The stressful news of course is I have no idea what my insurance will look like next year and I'm sorely tempted to talk to the boy and see if it's feasible for us just to get fucking married now and put me on his plan and boom done. Or maybe after we pay off Mikey's vet care. Grumpity grump. It's not necessarily a money saving solution in that the ACA was, I'm pretty sure, cheaper. But it's a security solution and it might be a money solution if it makes my goddamn dental bills cheaper. Not that I have as many of them as I used to but it still annoys me.

Fuckit, those are money problems for another day, I have insurance till December. Unlike a lot of other people, we have a contingency plan if I do lose insurance or if it becomes unaffordable. Heh.

So goddamn tired. I don't know how, I slept a lot last night as well as the nap. I think this might be stress tired. Which at least means picking up the house might help, which I might actually get to do tonight if I keep getting writing shit done at work. I even remembered to post the second character interview on my Patreon (and all the character interviews are open to the public) and cross-post that to other places. I got my edits done too, which means I don't have to use as much brain to do my evening writing tasks.

... Okay the list of things to do in the house is getting absurd long. So I guess it's get whatever I get done, done, and then move the rest onto a list to do tomorrow and maybe over the weekend.

Had the funniest moment today while I was being very tired and working on writing stuff. I was running edits on Long Road and fixing a scene based on what I now know Viking houses to look like and all "Hee, I know things now" and that inevitably led to "Hee. I drink and I know things." and now I need at least a shirt and a mug with that on it.

Ugh. And we're going out for dinner tonight, which is good, and running errands but it's going to be late by the time we get back and I'll still have to do languages and writes and try and get some of the house stuff done that I meant to do and bleergh. At least I'll probably sleep well tonight, too. I just want things to calm the fuck down for one goddamn week. Last week it was hurricanes and illness, this week it was all manner of medical everything including the damn vet visit. One week! Of relative calm and quiet! Is that too much to no don't answer that I know what the answer is.
kittydesade: (bad day)
So the day started out fine, I rolled out of bed, I got showered and stretched and started putting my face on, and that's about when everything went to shit.

We took Mikey to the vet. Or rather I called, made an appointment for 8.30 since that was the one morning appointment they had open, the boy was on his way home so I stuffed Mikey into the carrier so he could just grab him and go. Mikey flipped out and started clawing at the carrier so rather than have him break a claw or worse on the thing, I pulled on a bra and boots and took an antihistamine (yes I with the six cats have cat allergies and vet visits are nightmares) and went with him to make sure he didn't hurt himself in the car.

We were there for about an hour while they X-rayed him and did a blood panel all to reveal that nothing is detectably or severely wrong to cause the vomiting, plus confirming to the vet that he's an active kitty still eating and eliminating as usual. So on the plus side he's a relatively healthy kitty except for the vomiting. On the minus side, vomiting. Still. And now I'm late to work.

So we pile him back into the house, I go finish getting ready and throw on some clothes and drink some lemonade because I haven't had breakfast yet, we get on to the short drive to work and promptly get stuck in standstill traffic for thirty minutes while fire trucks scream down the shoulder next to us because I don't even know what the fuck happened there. We shot past work instead and stopped at a grocery store to get me breakfast and sushi for lunch.

The chocolate chip muffins I thought I got were not in fact chocolate chip muffins, they were fucking cranberry muffins. Which might actually taste fine but that was not what I fucking wanted. And work was of course busy busy busy with no opportunity to sit down, rest and process until after all the time sensitive shit was done. I skipped capoeira and went home and napped after calling Mom to whine at her, and I meant to nap for forty five minutes but instead ended up sleeping for over two hours and in short: fuck this day.

AND I have a dental cleaning tomorrow. Pre-emptively fuck tomorrow too.
kittydesade: (dueling)
I woke up and I actually slept so long and hard (with the help of NyQuil admittedly, I am starting to wonder if I need to wash the damn sheets because something something I'm not sure, we did just wash them last week ish) that I was able to get up, get showered, get stretched, and do capoeira exercises! For the first time since before DragonCon! AMAZE.

Of course that means I got another up close and personal feel of how weak and not so much out of shape as a bit out of shape and a lot still in recovery I am, yay. Fucking con crud. Fucking lungs. Fucking body.

I did finish the first two character interviews for Turing Shrugged though. So that's not nothing. It also has some summary copy for Kindle, and now Starlight does too. I finished a scene in Starlight, worked on some of Long Road. Things happened. Progress was made.

Paid off the lesser of two credit cards. Again. Which actually is not a bad thing to be doing, paying off a credit card repeatedly. It's just the greater of the two credit cards that bugs me, although I'm still nowhere near to being up at the average of individual credit card debt in this country. Which is kind of scary. And that's just the credit card debt, thanks be to the Goddess and my family I don't have student loan debt anymore. But eeegh credit card debt, over time, paying down. Not picking up any more absurd hobbies like makeup and spending a shitload on establishing them. Or hoarding things to draw with/knit/paint for the next ever. Ahem, Me Of Last Year.

(My yarn stash is truly terrifying. And I don't knit nearly fast enough.)

At some point this week goddammit I will get packages out. There's a couple of them that have been sitting here for ages. And I have been both hyper and hungry all day, no idea what the actual fuck is up with that. And my brain is leaping around all over the goddamn place, I was in the middle of a character interview and I had a Khan Academy window open to copy over physics equations and I ended up doing neither of those things in favor of doing a quiz on the parts of the cell. What the hell brain. We got sleep last night, we didn't slam back a giant pack of pixy sticks.
kittydesade: (courtesan in training)
There's something particularly offensive about when you actually go to fucking bed on time or even a bit early, and then stay up thrashing for two hours and wake up again two hours after that and. Yeah. Guess what I spent all last night doing. I'm honestly amazed I'm as functional as I am right now.

Work is getting done, though. Slowly.

I managed to sit my ass through the rest of The Defenders yesterday (it was not as bad as I thought!) and then managed to be so enthusiastic about it that I got [personal profile] lireavue to watch it and now I get to have hilarious fun listening to her exhort Matt and Jessica and yell at Danny Rand. It's so distinctive, Danny Rand's role is, that she started yelling at him and I was all "Oh you're at the point where he storms into the room and is all I AM THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST YOU WILL CEASE YOUR EVILDOING AT ONCE" That's not even a spoiler really, that's his role in the entire goddamn show. To storm around saying he's the Immortal Iron Fist and people will cease to be awful. Oh honey. That's so not how it works. You're adorable. Here's a pair of safety scissors and some construction paper. Don't eat the paste.

I think Monday's language exercises will always be entering information into Duolingo's tiny cards for Hindi and Arabic. I tried using Memrise but mastering a whole other keyboard on top of a bunch of other vocab words is a step too far, and it was so difficult I just stopped doing the lessons entirely. So flash cards are better. Hopefully if I do a little of this every night before bed etc I'll get better at it. I can do the grammar, but the vocab is kicking my ass. But it's nice to be picking up these languages again.

But. Blergh. I underestimated the amount of time it would take to get that and the bread done. STILL. It's been the most productive day and evening I've had in a couple weeks, partly because allowing myself to do shit but also just.... I'm not sure why else, actually, considering I got fuck all for sleep. So I guess I'll take it, and try and finish what I don't get done tonight, tomorrow. As per usual but this time with some hope that it'll happen.
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
Still bone-deep tired and constantly feeling on the verge of at least physical collapse. Mentally I'm all right but I need more than one night of decent sleep. Last night was interrupted once by falling asleep on a battery, a cable, and a corner of my Kindle (my fault) and the boy being woken up constantly by cats (no one's fault but he definitely doesn't sleep through them as hard as I do).

I did, however, somewhere in the last several days think of measuring the summaries of other science fiction/urban fantasy/fantasy books as far as their Amazon entries go, and rather than the Amazon upper limit of 4000 characters they're all between 800 and 1200 characters. So that's fine and I don't have to worry about that. I'm not sure what else I can do as far as advertising other than keep talking about it and posting things on Patreon, which I'm going to try and write up some tonight. Character interviews, um. I had a whole thing somewhere. I will try to write them up tonight and then I don't have to think about it in the future, hah.

(That doesn't mean do it now in the last 20 minutes of work, self. Don't be an idiot.)

I did manage to get together some vague Twitter flags for the damn thing though. And for a miracle I wrote down the damn settings on the layers of text graphic I did. I wrote it on my grocery list so we'll see if I remember where I put the fucker when I get home, but hey.

So many things I want to do and my brain wants to do none of them. Mostly my brain wants to sleep. I do have half an idea what I need to be doing as far as writing goes, which is mostly Long Road, Roc, and finish Starlight. And then I can work on the fun stuff or at least switch to doing Long Road and writing something but aargh my brain doesn't want to produce finished product, just random ideas. So sleepy.
kittydesade: Stippled light shining through curtains onto a couch or bed bracketed by white pillows. (hideaway)
Well. I'm not quite as tired as I expected, physically anyway. I am on the edge of being fed up with everything, but that's a day in the current regime anyway. On the other hand work was at first relatively easy stuff like making sample cards for our yarn line, and then a lot of running around collecting stuff, shipping stuff, and other problem solving along those lines. For a break after that I finished my assigned chapter of the genocide translation, so, um. Well now I'm tired and in a mood.

Probably a mood to get pasta at Trader Joe's and cookies and just eat them all tonight, heh. Or potatoes. Suddenly I really want a shitload of potatoes. Mashed. With butter and salt. Basically, There Will Be Carbs.

I also haven't done nearly as much writing or drawing practice as I wanted to today, which sometimes happens and that's fine, I'll get it done tonight. And cutting and cooking chicken. And some exercise. And reading my book I was in the middle of enjoying.

But right now I'm just in a surly, sad, giving-up-on-the-world-because-humanity-sucks mood. Which I suppose reading about genocide will do to you.
kittydesade: Stippled light shining through curtains onto a couch or bed bracketed by white pillows. (hideaway)
Apparently having noticed that I do in fact remember what sleep is, my body has decided that I need all of it. I got a good eight hours (normally I need six in warmer months, seven in winterish) last night, plus a nap, and now my eyes are doing the thing again and I get the feeling I'm going to be doing an eight-nine hour night again tonight. Oy.

I mean to go to bed early tonight but I got distracted, of all damn things, doing a translation of a French document on the Armenian genocide so not only there went my early bedtime but also my peace of mind before I sleep, yay.

I did get another scene in Starlight done though. There might have been more but we got distracted at work trying to install a printer onto my computer so orders stop getting lost by having to print remotely on a printer up in a corner of the store. It's not ideal. (Okay they also somewhat got lost because I left for DragonCon and that can tend to mean shit goes sideways but argh.) Um. No, but, scene in Starlight. Some stuff worked out in my head as far as the Rochester sisters go. It was a productive day.

But I meant to go to bed early and it's now fifteen minutes past my bedtime and I'm not only physically tired, I'm tired of humans as well. Which I guess translating descriptions of genocide will do that to you.
kittydesade: (Default)
I did not get to sleep in a warm bed for 10-12 hours. Instead I got high winds, terrifyingly bendy trees, and things banging on my windows at all hours of the mornings, and also power line? transformer? something of the loud bang bright light power blips for five minutes line of things. Till FOUR IN THE MORNING.

I did not get a lot of sleep last night. Oddly, I feel more alert and aware than I have in the last several days, which I guess means I'm much less sick even though also much more tired.

I don't even know what I'm going to get done today, but I'm going to try to get something done. I guess I can start listing things that I've done here so I can remind myself that ... something. I really need to unhitch my self-worth from my productivity somehow, too. That's a major problem.

Done This Day, Despite Trials
Day job: Checked in supplier order
Day job: Finished off other lingering supplier order
Day job: Got the shipping done
Sorted out some promo for Turing Shrugged
Finished a goddamn short story for Turing Shrugged promo/character development
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
I exist. I'm just not very happy about it.

So I thought I was going to be better by Monday and it turns out that "better" actually means I am going to be upright for most of the workday doing things at my desk and not have energy for much else when I get home. Which is annoying as much as anything because I was going to start gearing back up for writing this coming weekend, and getting back into training shape, and that's not going to happen if I'm falling asleep all over the place.

During one of my copious naps over the weekend, well, I woke up to the boy asking me if I'd seen Bat Cat lately. We couldn't find him. He'd gotten out somehow, I have no idea how because I spent most of the day sleeping. But on the plus side he's also the most still feral, and true 'nuff, in the morning around breakfast time I staggered in my pj's out onto the back porch and called him and he came trotting up like the asshole he is, like nothing was wrong.

Meanwhile Mikey is being an expensive cat again, having acquired an infection from nobody has any idea where that went untreated for longer than it should have because he had no damn symptoms apart from vomiting which at first we assumed was Mikey Stop Eating The Plants. Which has happened before. Energy was fine, appetite was fine, drinking was fine, the litterbox was fine, but no. Apparently infection. So now we have antibiotics and a follow-up to deal with.

(And at all of this I'm having one of the more mildly annoying weeks/weekends, not even getting into the friends who went through the hurricane.)

Mostly the universe just needs to start handing out breaks and I don't suspect it will anytime soon but argh. And I just want to sleep in a warm bed for about 10-12 hours.
kittydesade: (under construction (nopejr))
Head still feels like it's stuffed full of damp cotton rags. Along with some slight dizziness. I highly disapprove. I don't have words for how much I disapprove. Well I do but most of them are neither coherent nor printable.

I'm hoping that taking the weekend just to sleep and do sedentary things will help. Sedentary things and yoga, since my back is also driving me batshit with how painful it is right now.

Some progress was made on random things, including some knitting and a procedure installed to get me doing regular damn drawing practice because I've been needing to work on that, oh, all year? So now every time a specific someone makes a post on tumblr I need to sit my ass down and do a five minute sketch. In an anime style because that was the one that came first to mind as what I need to practice. I also figured out that four thousand characters, AKA an Amazon summary, is about four paragraphs as I write them, or maybe a gdocs page? So I have an idea of where to go there. and I'm trying to be better as far as not pushing myself to do things, giving myself time to rest, etc etc. Trying.

Probably what I should do tonight is just curl up in bed or on the couch and read Cloudbound, which I have started but Nat annoys me more as a narrator than Kirit did. Maybe because he's (understandably!) hard on Kirit and I'm fiercely protective of her. This I hope is not spoilery because I don't think it'll make sense to anyone who hasn't read Fran Wilde's Updraft. But there it is. But I have a bunch of books after this one that I want to get to, and I do want to find out what happens with the characters, so I will suppress my urge to punch Nat, I suppose.

And my urge to do my book summaries for Starlight and Turing Shrugged and Malachy, which would be good to have but of the three only TS is about to be imminently published, and and and. I don't need to have it all done immediately tonight, self. Jesus. I think this is my brain casting around for something "useful" to do since I'm forbidden from writing. DEFEATING THE PURPOSE. Ugh.

It's okay not to be useful or productive. It really, really is. I'm just very bad at allowing myself that.
kittydesade: (Default)
Still aten't dead. Still exhausted. I got a few pictures up on my *gurk* Fakebook account and started poking around at it, still not entirely sure what I'm doing there. But now I can do things on the groups that help plan the tracks and so on, so that's okay. Or something. I'm too tired to really have an opinion on the whole facebook thing except that it's evil and I wish everything didn't happen there.

I wrote a few promo tweets for Turing Shrugged and Starlight, which is about as far as I got into that. I want to also write their 4000 character book summaries but that might be more than my tired brain can handle, and since I'm on strict rest orders I am not allowed to force myself to do them. If after some rest I can, great, if I can't, no worries.

(I just want to sleep for like ten hours and not feel exhausted when I wake up, is that so wrong?)

(Also my brain is trying to murder me by making me work more so I can keep up with everyone's productivity levels and brain we just finished two day long travel days and four days of non-stop running around con and what in the fuck.)

I had so many grand plans for today and tonight. I was going to get promo copy done, short story writing, i was going to come home and make bread and clean house and instead I came home, ate pizza, slept for two hours, woke up to do the necessary and ended up watching bits and pieces of fiction on the couch before passing the hell back out again. I demand a refund.
kittydesade: (and so good night)
Still haven't died. Made it to day job on time, with makeup no less. House is a disaster which is what happens when I don't clean and then I leave the boy for a long weekend on his own, but oh well.

Still fucking exhausted.

Still somehow managed to get both White Noise (I think this might be the final title there) and Long Road set up in Scrivener, with all appropriate stories and so on labeled, and Long Road with the text I had edited before I left in, with labels. So that's fine. But I am exhausted and the only writing thing I'm going to do for the next couple weeks is either the story that's deadlined for the end of the month, finish up Starlight, or whatever small fiddly tasks that come to mind that I can do right then. Not tasks that come to mind that'll take hours to finish.

I might also go back and re-read over the five-ten-ish novels that I have drafted from ages ago and see which ones I want to bang on next, because I'm starting to run out of more recent first and second drafts. Oh darn.

I need all of the naps, you guys.

Dragon*Con

Sep. 4th, 2017 05:19 pm
kittydesade: (flaily kermit is flaily!)
Man, it used to be that I'd update on Dragon*Con every evening of the con with what had happened that day, these days it's so damn busy I get back to the hotel room, crash, get up and shower and get dressed and do it all over again.

Highlights, the personal shit. Seeing my girls and hanging out and being ridiculous over makeup and cheesesticks. And fried cheesecake, goddamn. The con dessert was a dragon egg this time, not a Pokeball. Chocolate shell and some kind of passionfruit-mango mousse inside. I did not find a dragon within but it was really tasty. I did splurge on an Imaginarium puppet since I didn't have time to get all the autographs I wanted. I got some Wablet time as well as girl time, I got to be part of a pair of Daenerysi? What's the plural of Daenerys? I got to walk around and be ridiculous and the people at AmSciFi remembered me fondly, which was its own kind of squee.

I got to meet Michael Eklund, which was profoundly strange and also very nice. He's an absolute sweetheart, which of course he'd have to be because he's only an actor who plays serial killers not an actual psycho himself obv, but it always startles me when that happens. And cons are stressful for everyone so it's not always the usual thing that you find an actor who's effusive to find a fan and cuddly and so on. He was apparently very pleased that I remembered him from Blood Ties, Alcatraz, Almost Human, Watchmen ("My one line in Watchmen? *amused face*"), he gave me two autographs for it, and I got like four selfie shots including some gloriously self indulgent ones. The selfie shots were the cuddly bits

Tim Rozon was a close runner up for What The Fuck Just Happened celeb encounters. I told him I'd been doing some western expansion research, he asked what for and about the book, which of course meant I ended up telling him about Long Road. Which is a novel about a fucking half-fairy and his werewolf boyfriend and, really, how the hell. But on the other hand he was on Lost Girl. So.... eh?

Panels went well, I think. There was a lot of enthusiastic audience participation even during the Iron Fist panel, I think only one closed a few minutes early because we'd chewed it to bits. The Iron Fist panel wasn't even a general bashing of Iron Fist, which it damn well could have been considering Danny Rand seemed to be near-universally viewed as a weenie, as someone else on my panel put it. But we discussed the problems in production (heh, I mentioned the showrunner had been moved off to do Inhumans, to many groans) and some of the alternatives they could have done, the problematic aspects, the parts we did enjoy, how we all viewed the Meacham line (there was a lot of room for interpretation there, we all had different reactions to it) and so on. The Sense8 panel was an afterdark panel, i.e. after the hour at which Dragoncon expects you to behave with some decorum, so it got rowdy, ridiculous, and full of cussing. We did a lot of bashing Whispers not as a bad character but as an evil dude, a lot of discussing the nature of sensate clusters. Black Sails and Vikings bounced back and forth between the history aspects and the show narrative aspects. The MCU panel was just all over the damn place because there was too damn much to cover. Although I half remember that nobody loved Age of Ultron.

And at the end of it all I got to help set up Heroes v Villains Cards Against Humanity, which was fucking awesome to play in. I feel like at the beginning when the villains tried to root for their white card to win by chanting NIP-PLES NIP-PLES NIP-PLES it set the tone because afterwards every other damn white card involved chanting. Ridiculous usually bawdy things like COCK-RING COCK-RING COCK-RING and GANG-BANG GANG-BANG GANG-BANG and DIL-DO DIL-DO and inexplicably the HEROES got the DEAD PARENTS DEAD PARENTS chant. So, yes. A good and probably alcohol soaked time was had by all, I did not drink but I saw at least a couple bottles of Fireball and some rose wine passed around.

IT WAS FUN OKAY. I had a lot of fun. I got to meet a lot of fun people, see a lot of other fun people I only get to see that time of year, and best of all I got to spend the last day or so of it hiding in AmSciFi when I was starting to get really overstimulated and ready to drop it down to a roomful of 10 or so people I vaguely knew and pretty well trusted.

And now I am home and on strict instruction to rest, read books, watch tv, knit, and not do anything requiring brain-work for the next couple weeks outside of my day job, which is best and probably a practice I should have instituted years ago. Better late than never.
kittydesade: (sorely fucking tested)
So I spent the top of Saturday getting up, getting my shit together, and going into work to get my shit together there so I could leave it in relatively decent shape for when I went to DragonCon, then I went and got my hair did and I didn't realize how much I missed my red streaks until they were back oh my god seriously.

But then I spent most of the rest of Saturday and almost all of Sunday in a stupor of I have twenty billion things to do and can't make myself start doing any of them. And what the hell. Now I'm way behind in everything writing related. And just generally annoyed, and I was already going to be behind because of DragonCon but goddammit everything. Now I feel tired and overwhelmed and sad.

Though I suppose one plus side to this not having anything I felt up to getting off the couch and doing meant I got to sit on the couch and watch Vikings almost all day and get caught up to the current season so I won't be confused (or at least not more than briefly confused) when I'm on the panel. I'm almost all the way caught up on Black Sails too, although in both cases I knew the gist of it because I'd been halfway keeping up, but now I've seen the implementation of the spoiler events so. Yay?

Looking at my writing calendar was a terrifyingly bad move, now I'm reminded of all the shit I wanted to get done this month that I haven't finished. I might make a push to get Starlight finished in the next day or two, and Boon Doggie, and anything else that's within a few scenes of ending. (Okay, Starlight might actually be more than a few scenes of ending but it's pretty damn close. And Boon Doggie is a short story goddammit.) And then I can outline the rest of it and at least try to get things arranged and sorted and aargh.

Oh, heh. And after I thought we were done with the dramatic weekends the boy texted me last night and said his Dad was in the hospital, so that was a fun moment of AUGH. This morning the news came in that they're going to rehydrate him and send him home, that it wasn't the horrorshow we were all imagining, but still. Not the phone call or text message you want to get, and his father isn't in the best of health anyway. I just. Mmph. I just want to be able to wake up, roll out of bed, do some writing work around my day job like I used to instead of having to deal with two-three crises in a day and then falling onto the couch in the evening like a stunned mullet. I don't think that's too much to ask of the universe.
kittydesade: A small stack of books tied together with string, a blue book is the top book with a card with a blue heart on top. (always something to be read)
Ahahah oh god. A couple of showrunners on Twitter were bemoaning this being the week they found out their idols and influences were sexist jackasses (Cameron and Whedon as far as I know) and then I went onto a twitter screed about Marion Zimmer Bradley and how finding out about that bullshit made me feel. The summation of which is I can't personally reread her books even though I own a lot of them, I'm glad I don't have to debate supporting her or just buying used and hiding them in a box forever anymore, she was a fucking monster, I can't discount that she was a big influence on women in fiction, and I won't go through my psyche and throw out everything reading her books gave me. That's mine now. I own it, and it's my responsibility to make sure that it makes me a good person and not a monster like her.

But oh boy howdy the complicated feelings. And, heh, the not being alone in them at least because five or six people, the second I brought up her name, knew exactly what was going on.

I did get the new phone, thank god. And things open when I tell them to and stay open until I tell them to close, and the buttons work, which is all to the good. The old one will be sent off for recycling, or if anyone knows of a program to send old iPhones to that will refurbish and give them to a shelter or something? I have an old iPhone now! A year or two before I meant to but hey.

So now that's getting set up. Also it's annoyingly big, and it's the smaller one, I can only imagine how much more aggravating the iPhone 7 is. Or is that the one where they stopped making it so huge but also took away the headphones. Dammit, Apple.

Bleeegh okay packing definitely needs to occur sometime tonight or tomorrow evening, but I'm going to try to go in to work some time before my hair appointment to pick up things because god knows I'm not going to be good about doing it while I'm at work Monday or Tuesday. I guess apart from that the only thing I need to do for con is finish catching up on shows of which I have 40 hours left, I might skip Vikings S2 since I have seen it already and go straight to S3, and other than that it's going to be keeping up with writing, remembering to post in Patreon, same old same old. Try to come up with the dreaded Promotional Copy for Turing Shrugged. Try to remember to talk about it online. Endless to-do lists I think might be the way to accomplish keeping up with the business of being a writer. As opposed to the circumstance of being a writer, in which one writes as one is moved to.
kittydesade: (irksome)
I was doing pretty damn good on getting this proof copy of Turing Shrugged finished until I ran into the wall of oh shit what do I put on the back cover here and now it's Tailspin City. But on the plus side I managed to write myself an instruction manual for formatting something for print on CreateSpace. That's not awful. And, no, okay, I don't need to put anything on the back cover, it's a proof copy, self, the actual release isn't until the end of September, calm the hell down.

So. I did calm the hell down and made a black back cover with title and copyright on it that I suppose may not match the copyright date in the book but egh proof copy not caring. This may become standard operating procedure for everything from now on, do sort of a sketch of a cover art, do a blank back page, and then go. Because most of the time it's the interior work that's the problem.

Ugh, but after that I am tired. I got home all intending to do writing work and all I can do is stare at the screen yay. I didn't even get any packing done, which I should have since I got home early. I wouldn't have thought pushing to get the proof copies formatted successfully over two days was that big of a push but evidently it was.

Fine, then. Tomorrow I'll push just on writing and editing and I did at least get some TV rewatching done today, and am almost finished with Black Sails. That's still prepwork, self. And early bed, and falling asleep and getting shit done tomorrow. I don't think there's any real time sensitive stuff to rush through anyway, just need to make progress on things. And, you know, pack.
kittydesade: (under construction (nopejr))
I've hit the stage of pre-DragonCon where my brain is going around in panicked circles screeching about everything we need to get done before, etc. Not helpful, brain. More helpful though is the fact that I've done this often enough that I have a list I can just pop my current costume details into and go. I might take some time and organize all of that tonight around watching an episode of Black Sails or two. That ought to be useful.

... no, but seriously, I'm trying to think of something to say and it's all coming out DragonCon DragonCon next week you will be traveling to DragonCon aaaaugh you're not ready. I'm not ready! I'm mostly ready. I'm working on getting the last part ready, which is the proof copies of Turing Shrugged. I had some wild lunatic plan last night to get proof copies of Starlight ready and then realized it was only in a second draft form which I feel is going to need a third draft or at least a really solid going over of the second, and proof copies actually cost money, self. Never mind the rush shipping to get it to DragonCon in time, so no. The only reason you want Starlight is so you can present it in hard copy to the muse and no. Next year if you have to. You'll have a first draft ready to PDF up and that's good enough.

I'm going to be punching myself in the brainpan a lot in the coming week, I feel.

Trying to organize my head lasts about fifteen minutes till something else pushes the overstimulation node and I fall over. I mean on the plus side I do have endless to do lists where everything is broken down into small bits? But then I have to pick one to do and finish and that requires energy that's busy elsewhere, usually busy running in circles. Argh.

If I can have this weekend to not do anything but TV watching and house cleaning it will be a fucking miracle I am very, very grateful for because right now it feels like I'm being pulled by five different forces in twenty directions to do fifty eight things and I don't have the brainpower to keep track of all of this. It'll sort of be worth it in the end, the DragonCon and writing part will, but everything else is Monday-Sunday catastrophe fallout and I am so fucking done with that.
kittydesade: by <user name="nope"> (novel idea)
And then after yesterday I get an angry email from a different aunt all how dare I ask my Mom for a new phone I can't just have expensive phones every time I want them raaaar heads rolling. Excuse the fuck out of you I did not break my phone on purpose. This is my first new phone in three years and my second in almost twenty. It is not in fact un-fucking-reasonable to call the plan holder to ask her if it's okay and check for upgrades and get the information I need to activate my new fucking phone that I paid for. And if Mom wants to reimburse me or not, that is her fucking business. I did not need that shit after the day I had fucksake everyone.

(This also has way more to do with Aunt B's current pile of problems than it does my phone usage and breakage, and I realize that, but Oh my god I did not need that right then.)

So tired. Just from the weekend and the last few days, so, so tired. I just want a few days of not having to do anything, which isn't going to happen anytime soon because writing projects (okay, those I mind less) and every other goddamn thing. At this point I think I really am going to skip capoeira so I can have another four to six hours to prep for DragonCon, although by prep I mostly mean watch TV at this point. But I'll feel less rattled if I watch TV while I capoeira rather than go to capoeira, push myself into exhaustion, get home, fall over hard, etc.

I also did realize that if I want to have proof copies for DragonCon I need to finish formatting everything TOMORROW and probably have it shipped to the damn hotel. Which is fine and all, but oh my god this was supposed to be done this weekend so I could have it shipped and get here by Friday and, well. The weekend happened. It was a bad, exhausting weekend. On the plus side if I go to bed early enough tonight (read: on time, plus sleeping through the damn night thank you Aunt B for that fit of 3am anxiety) I should have the energy to deal with it tomorrow and I have a computer that can handle Scrivener at work now, so I can fuck around with that there.

Okay. Making a to-do list for work tomorrow, and then going the fuck to sleep like a good, responsible writer. The Turing Shrugged cover art is good enough for a test proof anyway. That'll do, kitten. That'll do.
kittydesade: (eh?)
I just need one long day of primal scream therapy, seriously.

I did not get half the crap I wanted to done over the weekend. First there was a sinus cold after I woke up from capoeira coma, ended up chasing cats all around the house to try and keep them from fighting and get them into separate corners. The next day wasn't bad, got some laundry done and dishes and some basic tidying started, and then my goddamn phone fell into the goddamn toilet because the goddamn cat jumped up onto the sink while I was picking stuff up. So now I definitely need a new phone. I spent most of Sunday trying to get mine to work, it kind of does? But the home button is massively non-responsive or non-functional and I think the only thing I've seen online that I haven't tried to fix it is rubbing alcohol and. Urk. Plus it's a three year old phone minimum anyway, I've been expecting it to be slowly dying. I just. This is not the time, phone.

Plus my bill for web hosting came due, which is every three years so as far as expenses go it's not an awful one? But the timing, universe. The goddamn timing. Plus the need to get a case for the new p hone and since of all things they're sending the new phone to Mom's place because she's the account holder, it'll take a while till I can get the phone and I can't be entirely sure the case will fit and. And.

Mostly I'm just very ready to go to DragonCon and not fucking worry about this for a while. And if I'm tired and stressed it'll be easily fixed with sitting in place for an hour and having a bananan. Argh.

I was bemoaning that I hadn't brought anything to work to charge up with happy happy eclipse power and then I remembered I had the fucking Badali Jewelry replica of Nenya in my fucking purse. Just walking around with that in my purse, la. We had a relatively cloud-free sky for the first part, then the clouds rolled in, then as if a divine presence commanded it there was a hole in the clouds just big enough at just the right spot for just long enough to see the thing as wholly as we were going to see. So that was very nice, very fun.

I have no comment on the Whedon thing except UGH on him. And UGH also on the people who didn't believe the women involved, or still act as though they don't. But UGH on them all the time anyway, no matter the accuser or the victim.

... we interrupt this post because apparently an elevator motor caught fire when it burnt out, so the fire department came and we had to evacuate the building and everything. So, um, that happened, and what did I just say, Universe, about dramatic stressful shit happening before DragonCon? What did I just say?

Fucksake I'm going to go home, bury myself in fake people problems and Black Sails, and I don't know what. Drink a lot of cranberry cider maybe. I have three novel projects to work on, I have Black Sails to watch, and I think that's everything and I might just put a moratorium on languages except reviewing vocab and pronunciation until after DragonCon. It's about that time of year anyway. I just. What the fuck everything.

ETA: Of course after posting this I got a call from the boy saying the car had been broken into sometime between when I left (I'd walked around the car to throw something in the trash bin) and when he got home. Because that's just what this fucking day needed.

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