Warhead On Legs

Title: Epic Meerkat
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Chance
Word Count: 486
Rating: G
Summary: Epic meerkats. Chance must be dreaming.
A/N: This is what happens when you let me stay up too late. Inspired by this. Written for mundane_bingo prompt "Sleeping late"

Chance heard the music. He even thought he knew what it was. Some movie soundtrack they kept using on commercials. It faded in and out, just loud enough to catch his attention and not loud enough to keep him awake. He blamed Ames and went back to sleep.

When he woke up the second time he had morning breath circulating and re-circulating inside his mouth. His eyes felt full of crust, which was easily wiped away, but he definitely wanted something to drink. The music was still there, but quieter. Maybe Ames had moved to another room. The sun was shining in at a steep enough angle that it had to be noon, maybe early afternoon. No one had woken him up for about twelve hours. Must have needed the sleep.

He came down the stairs still scrubbing his eyes and looked around for Ames or whoever else was there. And he was about to turn the corner when he blinked and looked back over.

"Guerrero?"

"Yeah, dude?"

"What are you doing?"

One eyebrow crept up, but the smaller man didn't look over at him. He kept looking at the meerkat. The meerkat, standing on the table, looked back at him.

Chance blinked. "I'm still asleep, aren't I."

His body jerked him awake. The sort of twitching motion that felt like it should have been a full-on body spasm or jerking upright but wasn't. There was music playing in the background. Probably what had given him that weird dream. No more Nature Channel before bed.

He scrubbed his eyes and headed down the stairs for breakfast, or lunch by now. He'd slept later than he'd meant to.

Chance turned the corner towards the kitchen, then turned around and stared. "Guerrero."

"Yeah, dude?"

"What are you doing?"

One eyebrow crept up, but the smaller man didn't look over at him. He kept looking at the meerkat. The meerkat, standing on the table, looked back at him.

After a second Guerrero made some sort of noise and pulled a slender, small knife out of a pocket. "There you are..." he muttered, and picked at something in the meerkat's throat. The meerkat didn't move; Chance realized it was dead and stuffed. He came closer, a little weirded out by the whole thing. Now that he looked closer, yeah, it was obviously dead and stuffed.

"Where did you get that?"

The tip of his tongue poked out of the smaller man's mouth for a second as he pried the camera out from under a tuft of hair on the thing's throat. "Ames grabbed it. Got a new case. Guy thinks he's being stalked. Looks like he's right." Guerrero held up the camera for Chance's inspection.

"Huh." Chance took it, blinked at it, at Guerrero. "I thought... Huh."

Guerrero frowned. "You okay, dude?"

"Yeah..." he shook his head, trying to clear it. "Think I slept too long. Had the weirdest dream..."

( Русский язык )

I love this Russian book. It has review built in. I was just saying how I needed to go back and review the last four chapters, and look! The next four pages are genitive review!



Oof. It's really getting bloody cold here. It's below freezing right now, at a time when I'm usually getting ready to walk over to carpool to work. There might be snow eventually, which will be nice, but, brr! On the other hand this also gives me an excuse to knit ALL THE THINGS. And spin. And knit. And do funky stuff with wool and things.

And have a cat on my back, evidently. Hi, Murdock.

Human Target was pretty awesome. The writers need to be smacked about a few things, ( but then, most writers this season do. )

Okay, I'm kind of liking having Murdock on my back. He's warm, he's pleasant, he feels good. He's purring. Sadly, I have to get up in another minute and start moving, getting my shit towards the door. I could stay like this for a while. Especially if he actually lets me get my exercises in like he did this morning. Woot! It's the start of a good day.

Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant kikibug13

"Is it Alisa?" Which was the first thing on her mind. The Day Watch and the Night Watch, especially in Moscow but she had heard of it happening in other cities as well, were very fond of backstabbing. And plotting. To the point where it was joked that Gesser and Zavulon couldn't follow a straight path if it was a line painted on a road.

But Anton made a thinking noise and then, "No. No, I don't think so. The Day Watch is as interested in stopping these kidnappers as much as we are. But this isn't the only country these kidnappers are working in. Just the first one."

Tiger Cub could feel the headache starting in her forehead and temples. "The first one?"

"Other children are going missing. In the Vancouver area, England, northern Africa. And Moscow."

( Read more... )

Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant kikibug13



Maggie frowned at the red ball of clay as though trying to understand why it wasn't turning into anything other than a red ball of clay. Which wasn't far from the truth, though inverted. It was a red ball of clay, she didn't understand why they thought it would turn into anything else. Things were things. They couldn't be changed or altered unless you did things to them, not stared at them.

"I don't understand..." she looked up and told the man who was staring down at her, but he didn't seem like he was going to repeat the directions. He wasn't even looking at her.

"Fine," she muttered after a second or two of waiting. "Don't help. Buttface."

She was supposed to turn it into something else. She wasn't sure how to do that.

It occurred to her that they had given her a lump of clay.

( Read more... )

Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant kikibug13


It was dark, it was cold, and something was dripping.

Not that it was a cave, like she pretended it was. With her eyes closed she could almost feel the stone walls and the moss of her imagination. But she was on a bunk, a rickety old bunk slapped together with timbers and half-penny nails, in a place that was well put together enough that she figured they weren't going to hurt them or kill them. And she'd been here for a little while, so they had time to, well. Um.

If they were going to, that is. She didn't think they were.

That was all she knew about this place, though. It could have been anywhere. The walls rattled with the sounds of an air conditioner or a heater, and they both sounded the same, so she couldn't tell which it was. And in between the sounds behind the walls were the sounds coming from under the blankets and in the bunks, and under the bunks sometimes. The sounds of other children sniffling, crying.

( Read more... )

Title:International Relations
Fandom: Night Watch/Human Target
Characters: Tiger Cub, Guerrero
Word Count: ~28,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When children who have yet to make their Choice go missing up and down the West Coast of the United States, the head of the Moscow Night Watch sends Tiger Cub to help the Americans investigate. Her encounter with the assassin Guerrero seems to be a coincidence, but the deeper she goes into the investigation the fewer coincidences there seem to be.
A/N: Written for scifibigbang and beta'd by the ever-tolerant kikibug13


"I have a mission for you, my dear."

Tiger Cub leaned her head back in the seat and rolled it from side to side, restless. She hated flying. Semyon was driving her to the airport and consoling her with platitudes and offerings of sing-alongs. It wasn't working.

"Boris Ignatievich can..."

"Tsst." Semyon shushed her. There was a better than even chance that their fearless leader would hear her, especially when he had just summoned her to headquarters. It was a wise thing to do, but it did nothing for her ill temper. And it did nothing for her curiosity and her suspicion regarding this latest mission.

Anatoly was in the computers again. She tugged his belt as she went past, and he yelped.

"What are you working on?"

( Read more... )

My webspace is updated sort of yay.

So, for a while, adsartha has been linking me to these posts whereby fandom characters are put in ordinary situations, and they're always hilarious. But then something happened in RP recently which led to this completely unrelated-to-the-RP thought, what would happen if Dean and Cassie's daughter (in this world in which they're together) brought her boyfriend home for the first time? And, you know. This reminded me of a similar situation I'd thought of elsewhere, and it springboarded from there.

So.

Cassie, if her daughter brought her boyfriend home for the first time, would be utterly calm. And she would be taking the shotgun away from Dean when he answered the door. And then when the boys sat down she would be taking the pistol away from Dean. And when she leaned over to give him a kiss she would take the knife away from him too.

She would, however, spike the boy's soda/water/drink with holy water. Just to make sure. And make sure her daughter had mace or pepperspray and a silver dagger in her purse, and knew her exorcisms and angel-banishing rituals beforehand.


Guerrero would be lounging on the couch in the boyfriend's house when he got home to change before prom/the date, pistol in one hand, and greet him with a quiet "Hey, dude."


Anyone else want to play?

Title: Where the Children are Free
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: The unseen mother and child, referenced in ep 1x08 Baptiste
Word Count: 672
Rating: PG
Summary: Mother and young daughter have a conversation about the man not in their life.
A/N: Spoilers for 1x08 Baptiste, though if you know who I'm not naming here you probably already saw it, and if you don't, you probably haven't and are very confused.

( Mommy? )

Title: Only Animals
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Chance
Word Count: 1,005
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Guerrero's in the hot box. This is not a drill.
A/N: Torture porn. Written for dubiousmethods

"I hold at your neck a gom jabbar. This one kills only animals."
-- Dune


It was probably a good thing Guerrero was as small as he was. Chance would have found this kind of prison uncomfortable. Winston would have found it excruciating, but then Winston never went out and got his hands dirty, did he.

The mercenary folded his fingers together over his knee and scowled.

( Read more... )

Title: Miss Kitty and the Pocket Ninja
Fandom: Human Target
Characters: Guerrero, Winston, Chance (eventually), Eve (OC), Dawn (OC)
Word Count: 1,863 so far
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A stripper by the name of "Miss Kitty" needs help with her baby sister. Naturally, she calls her friendly neighborhood assassin.
A/N: Crack and shameless Mary Sues. No one cares, so I get to do what I want. Part 2

Two men walked into a gentlemen's club.

One was tall, broad, and black, dressed and pressed in a suit that looked a little too fancy for the venue. The other was short, kind of lean, and very white, looking a little too dirty for the venue. The larger man looked uncomfortable with everything about the place. The smaller man looked at home with everything about himself, and thereby with the place in which he found himself.

"This is a strip club," said the larger man. The bouncer by them snickered long enough for both of them to turn and give him a look.

The smaller man's grin was half-hidden by the mustache. "Why, so it is, you know, I don't think I'd noticed that."

( 'Why are we in a strip club?' )