Warhead On Legs

Okay. We'll use the tag Not Booyah At All for stressors, that's a good existing tag. Maybe if I have enough in one short period of time I can use something like "naming the wolves individually" or something because holy hell, it's been a pack of wolves kind of a past few months.

More positive things that I've been up to, starting with the garden. Holy shit. Apparently the only reasons my plants didn't do well is because I didn't have the energy around writing and my day job to pay proper attention in a leisurely fashion. I'm not doing too much different, except that I have more time to fit in the planting, the seed starting, etc. But in the day to day stuff once it's gotten started it's basically 15 minutes of watering once a day, and 20-30 minutes of weeding on Saturday and Sunday. And I have, um. The aforementioned endless tomatoes, including some new tomato plants my aunt left with me. I'm hoping to have tomatillos sprouding soon. The peppers I planted are, almost all of them, very healthy. My cabbages lettuce are dying a sad and painful death, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I may try putting them out in the world and see how well that works since none of the animals that usually eat them have been coming up to the porch I think It's still a bit disheartening. But there's the tomatoes, the cucumber, the blueberry rootstock is putting up vigorous new green shoots, the existing blueberry plants are doing well, one elderberry plant looked like it was trying to die at which point that got moved further into the stoop where it gets sun for less time in the day and that and some blood for the blood got may have saved it? But just in case I got a third elderberry oops. The goji berries are doing good. The herbs are doing great. So many plants do I have, not many flowers, but lots of food. It's honestly a relief to know I don't kill things out of ... being me, just out of being me in that I overextend and forget I don't have infinite energy.

I forget also whether or not I said I'd picked up cross-stitch again so, I picked up cross-stitch! Mainly because a friend brought to my attention that the Mattis quote: "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet" was a cross-stitch pattern and I thought, you know. I should do that. So I did that. I messed up doing that! But I did that. And then ... actually no, I think I'm still on my second one. But I'm working on my second one (a little less quickly than my first, stuff has gotten out of control in a stuff on my desk sense but also in a stress sense) and it's almost down to the lettering, and I have the next six or so projects planned and materials purchased. So, yay!

I've been writing. In a fit of pique and relevant to recent discussions on how people writing very rough drafts of porn and just selling it on Amazon are making more money than people writing actual novels doing the actual novelist thing I've decided that instead of trying to make myself work through the pile-on of stress I'm going to write a PWP fanfic, file the serial numbers off, give it a quick once over and give it to A for a copy edit and just post the fucker on Amazon because who cares anymore anyway. (Yes, I still care, I just do not have the energy for anything the way I used to.) So that's happening. Although after I take today to do a thorough house cleaning and get that stressor/reminder of stress away, I may try and balance working on that with working on my original projects. We'll see, as always.

As a semi-solution to the unemployment thing, and because my family has been on the verge of retirement for years now (although now that they've had a taste of what retirement is like I'm not as convinced as my one aunt that they will) this might be the final nail in the store's coffin, my Mom suggested paying to send me to the same boot camp as my cousin went to. It's a tech camp, you get your tuition back if you don't find a job after, and since it's a tech camp there's a larger possibility that I can find remote work. I was going to email them yesterday and see if they had an idea what the chances were, but then shit blew up, so it's now to "at some point this week." But it's certainly a possibility. I can't say coding or scripting was ever my first choice of job but I like to think I'd be reasonably good at it and have an aptitude for it, and I wouldn't mind it so very much. And the starting salary in tech is more than I make at the store, so if I can find a remote position it'd be great. I don't know what my job odds are, though. So... that part is very, very nervous making.

Fff things. I feel like you can tell I haven't been feeling my usual self because I haven't been wearing makeup, I haven't been playing around with lipstick and things, I haven't been wearing my jewelry. But that said, I re-dyed my reds at the middle? End? Shortly after my birthday in May, I remember that because I remember being disappointed that it wouldn't be freshly red for the zoom family chat. And I have an assload now of hair dye, a proportional assload of bleach, I am set to do my own hair coloring for a year in the case of the hair color and probably two years in the case of the bleach. I have a pair of hair shears and clips to hold my hair back so I can bleach, dye, or trim it. I have a proper hair dryer if/when I remember to use it, I have hair products for curling my hair and for nourishing it and for taking product out of it. And my makeup is stocked up so I should remember that I feel good when I look like I'm about to take the stage at a punk concert.

Circling back to gardening briefly, I am in love with my hori hori knife. It's a Japanese gardening tool that's straight edge, serrated edge, and trowel all in one due to the curve of the knife and it is JOY. I've done so much hacking down of annoying pokeberries, quick weeding, transplanting. It is a joy.

Trying to think what else has been going on. Have I mentioned I got into the Untamed finally? Because I did. The last few weeks of fannishness have all been about the Untamed and the pretty boys within. Pretty boys with skills, too, predictably for me I found out one of them is also a ballet dancer and sadly only has one or two performances and a class video online, but hnngh. He is quite good. And then another is an arts school kid who was in Les Mis, so outside of watching the show repeatedly I've been digging up that content. It's fun. It's joyful, and I take what joys I can get these days.

... that was a bit maudlin for something that's supposed to be a joyful post. Um. Oh! I've discovered the joys of listening to history lectures while I cross-stitch. That's also fun. And I've picked up Turkish on Duolingo, which is to say actually that I put one language down and replaced it with Turkish, under the urging of one of my new proto-friends (I've been told by people who Know that I make friends very slowly, and it's true, so... proto-friend for people with whom it's only a matter of time most likely) who is also learning Turkish and keeps temping me with fun facts about Turkish. They're evil, and all yelling about too many languages should be directed at them. >.>

Right. That's as much updating as I think everyone can manage for now. I'll try to be more assiduous about logging things here. For posterity if for no other reason even though there are other very good reasons, self. Pls remember.

( Gaeilge )

Projects projects. I did plug in the iron to the outlet where the sewing machine is plugged in and that seems to work fine, so now it's just rearranging the craft room. Again. I still have to figure out how to store my fiber, does anyone have any ideas on that? So far my inclination is yarn in bins in cabinets, unspun wool in baskets from the ceiling because why not. I mean, I'd have to make the baskets, but that shouldn't be more than a couple weekends worth of work. Anyone have any other ideas? My ultimate goal for furniture is to have a desk for my sewing, a pressing table with cubbies in two sides for ... I'm not sure what I'll keep in there, but something. And a sideboard on which I will keep my mini painting stuff and under which I will keep, maybe, minis and yarn. Or maybe just yarn. In the closet I have fabric and unfinished projects. So, um. Yeah! Stuff and things. I also need to find a ready supply of decorative jars with widish mouths, though I might just start using sauce jars to hold things rather than buy new jars. My sense of economy is warring with my need to make everything pretty. Maybe I'll just print out pretty labels.

But. That's a weekend project. This week I think is spinning in the evenings, and writing White Lightning and Nerd Girls, and some stamp carving. I did test out the stamps that I'd carved today, and they worked a treat! I need to clean up the edges some, but apart from that they look beautiful. So that, at least, is one way of getting images onto the leather. And then I have to test whether or not setting it in the oven works.

There's a stray black cat out front. Or it was out front, then it crossed the road, and it's freaking me out a little because I keep expecting street pizza kitty at some point. But I'm not sure what to do if it's someone's outdoor cat. It might be a year old. Halp? Anyone got any opinions? I have a live trap, we could totally catch it and keep it in one of the many MANY rooms in the house under quarantine. Argh. Just. Argh.

I think work has finally calmed down though. Well, it calmed down yesterday towards the end of the day, which means I might have two brain cells to rub together. Hopefully I'll get a box shipped out today, and this is probably your last week to sign up for Christmas cards! Linky link. I think I only have a couple to send out, too.

Stuff and things. No, I think that's pretty much it. Though the black cat appearing has made me oddly inclined to do witchy things like read tarot or something. Sadly, I don't think the cards will tell me if this is someone's cat or not.

Oh, I know what I need to do today. Dig up icons. Or make icons. Or both.

Right. Um. Not getting distracted by the fight over whether or not you could totally make sustainable clothing in Ye Olden Days and whether or not modern clothing is a slave market thing and whether or not it's an injustice that we can't all make our own damn clothing (although in general the whole thing amuses me, as someone who can do most of the production parts herself if she had a TARDIS). As far as I can tell, having learned at various points how to spin, weave, dye, sew, knit, etc, there is just no goddamn way of making all of one's clothing that is both inexpensive and fits into one's general modern schedule unless one has access to industrial equipment. And you know what? There never was.

Anyway.

Only got down to halfway through page 21, in contrast with yesterday's massive success. On my list of words I've picked up just from commonality: careful and it's derivations thereof, people. I feel like I should keep track of this to remind myself that I'm not a horrible failure for only managing to read Russian at a kindergarten-first grade level.

Leather came in today. I may have gone a bit nuts on account of OMG can make ALL THE POUCHES now. (Note to self: leather bakes for 5-7 minutes at 300 degrees.) I got some brown that will make a nice color, some red for both Iron Man and Akira (what? Shut up.) and some blue that will make a nice Captain America (SHUT UP.) and I have some pebbly white stuff that I don't know what that's going to become. And. And and and. I may REALLY be going a bit nuts with this but you guys it is SO MUCH FUN. AUGH. And yes, I know I have to finish the first one. But I know all the steps now!

(And besides, I seriously and literally can always find shit to do with leather. Oh yes.)

Still need to do German and finish writings, but other than that I think I'm good on things to do for the day. Also still need to figure out what the fuck I'm making for dinner. But oh well. Probably teriyaki, that's quick and I still have a shitpot of Person of Interest to do. Probably while leather sewing.

( Gaeilge )

So, I'm starting to do this thing where part of my dance exercises includes making a playlist and then just dancing around the living room to it at high energy. Eventually and sometimes this will include actual choreographed routines, but for now I'm going back to just dancing around the room like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I can definitely feel the cardio! It's definitely more fun than a Dreadmill. And then I post the mix here for accountability.

Today's Morning Jam:
Tubthumping - Chumbawumba
So What - P!nk
Cheap and Cheerful (Midnight Boom Bonus Track Version) - The Kills
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
Magick - Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
Man Up - The Blue Van
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

Though one of the disadvantages to this is definitely that it leaves me winded. Ow. That's not good for an asthmatic. I mean, I have my inhaler and presumably my wind will increase when it's not winter and I'm not fighting off a cold, but ow.

And, you know. Now that I have spent way more money than I should on t-shirts and pizza, the next sewing project I do after I finish replacing my blouses (which costs no money thank god, I have the materials, I just need to take the time to cut shit out) needs to be working on blazers from the pattern I have so I can wear them over my t-shirts and be all Tony Stark about it. Because really. That is a good look and I want to adopt it for my own. Even if it's been a hell of a long time since I made anything that formal. I still think I remember how to do it, though. This also means allocating some money out of my next paycheck for fabric and lining, note to self, and I think I have buttons and this is going to be way more fun than it should. Go go long-term wardrobe revamping!

I feel fairly clear today. Which means today had damn well better be a decent writing day, argh. Nanowrimo, and maybe, maybe, dime novels CS basic stuff posts, as well as reading over sewing instructions for the two blazers for which I have patterns. There, that's a good list of things I can do while at work. About the only thing I didn't get done was screen caps this morning, ugh, but that I blame on both staying up too late and not realizing how winded I'd get this morning. This afternoon, then, after I get home from work.

( Gaeilge )

Apparently we don't even get to have a silver lining to the Great Shutdown of 2013 (and by we I mostly mean my family), because Mom was declared "essential personnel" and so is still working 60-80 hour weeks on programs that, as far as I can tell from what little trickles down to me, only keep breaking because the people testing them are fucking morons. As in "Program, tell me the answer to 2 + 2" "4" "It's supposed to be 5! This program is broken." No, idiot, the program isn't broken, your input is broken. Your HEAD is broken. Oi. Congress is broken, the people (okay, person) who could use a couple days off doesn't get them, and the tens of thousands at the very least of people who need their damn paychecks don't get them, either. Argh.

Thinking of my mother, though, it's worth remembering that when she first moved back after being a teacher in San Diego for a couple years, she was originally going to be a car mechanic. Grandpa talked her into taking a computer programming aptitude test, which she apparently tested so high she may have broken it, and she discovered she liked programming. And here we are today.

Did get my closet halfway cleaned out yesterday, including tossing some clothes into the donation bag that I've been holding against losing X amount of weight, upon finally deciding that even if I do, this isn't going to work, I'm a short curvy person and always will be, not a tall stick. A few pants I won't wear again, put back a few skirts that are snug now, would feel better with an inch or two off my waist but oh well, and am debating tossing onto the donate pile because no matter how much weight I lost, it's not going to change the fact that they come up higher on my waist than I want them to. And yet, I like the cut of the skirt itself. Maybe I'll take it apart for pattern pieces. I'm going to take apart some of my current blouses for pattern pieces because the fabric they're made of is about as thin as a Tea Party politician's excuses. And I'm going to get some new blouses because I can, because then I can sew blouses off that pattern and make them with actual damn fabric. Maybe I'll sew some beads onto them or embroider them or something.

So. There's that, and we're going to get curtain rods this weekend. And I need to sew the two curtains I have material for now, after some weeks and months of having it and not sewing it. Maybe tonight, probably Friday night before Haven. Maybe I'll set up the sewing machine tonight. I did clean off the patio area so I can set up the crockpot for dyeing. If I get more merino I might set up both crockpots, but as it is I think it'll just be the one for Silas Weir Mitchell's scarf. And I really should spin some things with the fiber I do have before I start going completely nuts with the dye stuff. Although I still want to do a turquoise and brown fiber. Argh. Maybe I'll see if there's more merino at work and set up a second dye pot because lo I am weak. The remaining question is, then, what do I do with probably around 200 yards of fingering/sport weight yarn? Or do I make more and make something bigger. Decisions, decisions.

Anyway. Stuff and things. This month is working on Nerd Girls, drafting that, and maybe figuring out what I'm doing for Nano and outlining that. And blog work, of course, and Gods and Monsters. So. We'll see how all of that goes. The next few days as much as I can will also be worked on Dragon, because my fucking wrist.

( Gaeilge )

Tetsuo costume is finished! Entirely! I need to figure out a makeup scheme, but that shouldn't be too hard. I might start experimenting this morning and if people tell me "you look like shit" I know I've succeeded. Because really. Tetsuo spends half the time looking like a zombie, and that's without the creepy cybernetics. (As it turns out I completely forgot that I'd be leaving for work early and wouldn't have time, but oh well. I can research zombie makeup and try again later.) Huntress cloak has its hook and bars, it could use another snap but I have no fucking clue where my pack of snaps has gone. I had one there a week ago, I saw it.

And today... ye gods. Today is going to be interesting. Assuming I have time I have to spin up a bunch more natural yarn and then ply it for dropping in an indigo vat, I have edits to do on Gods and Monsters and then drafting the next one, which I hope to at least get three scenes into. Then poking both at this new thing that seems to have erupted over night and maybe some at Nerd Girls, which I've been neglecting. If I have time. I more expect to be able to poke at Nerd Girls tonight when I have my Campbell open in front of me, but whichever.

A week till Dragon*Con. Little less than. I can't quite believe it's that close, though. I guess that means some light/quick machine sewing tomorrow night, and that should take me to just doing the leotard on Saturday or Sunday and then, ulp. All costumes done? In time for Dragon*Con? That's never happened before!

This is, of course, not including all the writing I have to do. And the batch-making of burritos so I don't have to worry about that for the next two-three weeks, if the pots in my fridge right now are anything to go by. Plus the batch making of spaghetti and chili, which at least all I have to do there is dump things in pots and remember to stir every half hour. Plus the cleaning of the house. I think that's it, really? But argh. Oh, plus formatting and finishing of stuff to put up for sale, and mostly it's down to all the fiddly little things and I just need to set it up and knock it down. Which isn't bad. But keeping it all coordinated? Argh. Maybe that's what will happen around lunch in between Russian. Getting my calendar organized so it doesn't all crash together.

( Russian, now with 100% fewer triggers! )

There's a few mistakes that I seem to constantly make on Russian. One of these days I will remember that 'room' is feminine. Really. Also given how much has changed I think I just need to write the vocab on a card and play mad libs.

I feel a severe need to run around in circles screaming. Dragon*Con, publishing things, Gods and Monsters, the blog, everything. Cleaning the goddamn house so I don't come back home to a pigsty. Eating properly and not keeping a steady diet of mac and cheese and sherbert for the next few days. Exercising so I stay awake and feel better about myself. Getting a decent night's sleep every night. Spinning the freaking yarn for everyone, and also to keep my zen. Augh. Twenty bajillion different things and all of them need to be done right the hell now and panic and freak out time yet?

No, not really. Everything's scheduled so that I have time to do everything, the only thing I might not have time to do before Dragon*Con is build the Tetsuo mutant arm, which has kind of fallen by the wayside since it was the least essential part of the whole thing. But I still have at least one weekend in which to sew or build an entire new costume, so it's really not that bad. Still not entirely sure what I want to do about my Silk Spectre costume. I have all the material for the rebuild I was going to do and now I just want to scrap it all and start over. Argh. Probably what I'll end up doing is sewing new sleeves onto the store-bought costume I have and calling that a good job for this year. If I really feel ambitious at the last minute I'll find some yellow gauzy material and make a robe over a black leotard. Who the hell knows. I have a shitton of potential costumes anyway. Oh, and I need to redo the collar on the Huntress cloak because I've decided I don't like how it is right now. C'est la vie.

Barring that, though, the writing stuff is going really well. Apart from my constant panic. Which I've learned to tune out by now, so there's that at least. I need to finish stripping edits on Black Ice, keep churning through Gods and Monsters, tweak and plan and outline other things. Life goes on? I need to do blog posts, too. Personal ones, that is. Murderboarding blog posts I've gotten into a kind of a rhythm on. Speaking of life going on, I should check in with the neighbors about that bed. Poor bastard.

( Gaeilge )

All right, a new week, this time with more rested. I don't know if I was stress sick on Saturday or just sick or what, but that was a day of mostly sitting in one place and doing nothing which, admittedly, I probably sorely needed. Sunday at least I got a bunch of fiddly costume tasks done. And some of the sample yarn spun. Slowly but surely, bit by bit. Maybe one costume task a night to get this shit done.

Apart from that... god. I got a lot of rest this weekend, I did get some shit done both with costumes and blogging, but now it's Monday and my head is spinning with all the things I want to do and I have no idea how to make it stop. I mean, probably the first thing I'm going to do when I sit down at work, then, is organize myself and my week and figure out what I need to do and when I need to do it by and set up the calendar for all the blocks of time, etc. But until then I'm probably going to be freaking out that I didn't get something done that I should have for imminent... I don't know. Because of reasons.

So, okay. Things I know I need to do. Finish this week's Gods and Monsters today, that actually shouldn't be that hard. Get an hour or two of Haven done tonight since that's up this weekend, actually put in the last of the Black Ice edits today. And after that I can figure out what else I want to get done, what I need to do today. That's a plan, yes, self? Yes. Good girl. Keep moving.

( Русский язык )

And today that's all corrections, a few days' worth of corrections, so. I think that's about all I'm up for today, not because of emotional content (though boy howdy is there a lot in that Russian) but because ow fucking menstrual migraine spiking me above the left eyeball. Fuck that, and everything else menstrual or pre-menstrual pain related. Ow.

Picked up what I think will be the last of the supplies needed for costume stuff this year at work. Somehow, despite having thirty or forty spools of thread at home (literally, I have two freaking sewing boxes full), bright yellow thread is not among them. And hole punches for the leather because, despite having found my rotating hole punch, I'm pretty sure it is crappy rotating hole punch and not suitable for leather. So now I have the kind you bang with a mallet. And I have a fuckton of grommets anyway, so that's not a problem. I have... oh, hey, found my sewing awl. So now that I've found that I think I'll get a couple of the small packs of natural/whiteish waxed linen and try and make a better Silk Spectre belt out of that. Emphasis definitely on try. I think that's it, though. I think, amazing as it is, apart from complete costume rebuilds which may go amazingly or may go disastrously, by the end of this weekend I will be fucking done with costume building. Certainly by the time Anna gets here. How the hell did this happen? How did I end up organized enough for this? How the hell am I going to store everything? (Probably in garment bags. Anyone know where I can get a dozen or so cheap garment bags? They don't have to be the thick plastic, they're not traveling anywhere, just sitting in my closet.)

I feel like I had some more to say here about other stuff, but the second I think I have a long entry about everything something comes along and distracts me and proves me wrong. I know I have a long entry about Orphan Black, but I'm going to save that till after I've finished the series. I will say, though, that the next person who tells me I MUST watch it is getting throatpunched in my imagination. No, I MUST do nothing. You can tell me you adore it, you can tell me you think I'll love it and give reasons, you can tell me you think I'll love it and give no reasons whatsoever, you can gush about the actress (though god that's getting tiresome, can we please remember that many other people are involved in production, too? several of whom I feel haven't been getting the attention they deserve), you can gush about the plot, the mind screw, but don't you fucking tell me I have to watch something. And I'm not meaning "OMG YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THIS SHOW" once or twice in the first throes of your enthusiasm, I mean people who say this over and over and over again. No. You do not tell me what I must watch. I like you, I consider you a friend, but fuck you very much, that just makes me want to dig my heels in and tell you it sucks and rip it to shreds on general belligerent principle. And I think people who do that are assholes. So stop making me want to do asshole things by telling me what I have to do. Argh. I'll start telling you you HAVE to watch the last season of Heroes, and no one wants that.

Ahem. So, well, I guess that's a paragraph I don't have to write later when I talk about Orphan Black! Writing is happening. More writing would have happened today if I hadn't gotten the headache from hell and spent some time passed out on my shipping cart. And then tonight when I get home there will be making pasta of some kind, I don't have any meat defrosted but I do have a number of pasta sauces and noodles, two of which should correspond nicely, and then there will be the last chunk of Orphan Black and cutting fabric and sewing fabric and then I will have pouches for Huntress and it will be glorious. Yesh. I have a plan. It's better than a gesture.

( Русский язык )

Well. That was fun. And by fun I mean I'm so, so fucking tired of being a woman in a world that traditionally hates, loathes, and mistreats women. On the plus side, even if it's a morbid plus side, if I memorize this in Russian and German and maybe a couple other languages, I can be more helpful in an emergency?

And part of this was started by yet another post by another woman talking about how she is pushed on by men every day, and another part of this was surprisingly inspired by Kickstarter apologizing and making some pretty decent reparations, including a donation to RAINN that almost doubled what the guy got on his Kickstarter. It's definitely a start, and I appreciate that they did the donating thing unprompted and as part of the initial apology; far too often the donation comes after someone apologizes. And it looks like a real apology, too, so. Yay!

God, that fucking guy. I'm assuming you all have heard of this. ( Cutting for those of you who, like me, might be weary of all the misogyny in the world. )

Here, have some song lyrics so you can scroll down past the cut text without seeing it.

o/~ When we grow up will I be pretty
Will you be big and strong
Will I wear dresses that show off my knees
Will you wear trousers twice as long
Well I don't care if I'm pretty at all
And I don't care if you never get tall
I like what I look like, and you're nice small
We don't have to change at all

When we grow up will I be a lady
Will you be an engineer
If I have to wear things like perfume and gloves
I can still pull the whistle while you steer
Well I don't care if I'm pretty at all
And I don't care if you never get tall
I like what I look like, and you're nice small
We don't have to change at all

When I grow up I'm gonna be happy
And do what I like to do
Like making noise! And making faces.
And making friends like you.
And when we grow up do you think we'll see
That I'm still like you and you're still like me
I might be pretty, you might grow tall
But we don't have to change at all

I don't wanna change, see, 'cause I still wanna be your friend. For ever and ever and ever and ever...o/~

And now we feel better. Okay, Free to Be You And Me always makes me feel better anyway.

Slowly ripping this sleeve off for building things, and it's making me realize I'm going to need to attach straps to it somehow. Oops. Straps that can go under my arm and maybe around my neck, I need the internet to help me, I think, so that this sleeve that's suddenly going to be very heavy can stay hooked onto me and not fall off. First, though, I need to see what the shape of the sleeve will be when I'm starting out with it. Argh. I'm nervous and I really want this to work because otherwise I have no idea what I'm going to do. I mean, okay, I do, I'll just do the t-shirt and jeans and cape and do some seriously strung out looking makeup and that'll be it, but still argh! I'm really nervous and I want this to work, okay? Okay.

Well, at least I won't have long to wait to find out if this works or not. There's time blocked out for it this weekend. Tomorrow, actually. So! Progress on all the costumes, it's happening!