(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2023 11:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeMonday down, tomorrow to go, which will be the most difficult. It's the coldest day of the week for one thing. I have an 8 am dentist appointment. I should have gone to bed, this being the case, an hour ago but since the wind is up my nerves are accordingly rattled and I don't think I'm going to get to sleep before midnight. First the dentist appointment, and then I head home and then I have a work meeting at noon and thankfully I don't have anything after that. I can collapse.
I've been, for no real reason other than that I finally got around to spending money on it, assembling sort of a capsule dark academia wardrobe. I have two tops, three skirts that I haven't yet been brave enough to try on (though they should fit, I took my measurements), and one vest. And then a couple more vests and a blazer incoming, so we're trying blazers again. Maybe it'll work better if I actually get blazers that are already tailored for a woman's form instead of blazers that I always say I'm going to tailor and then never do. Heh. Anyway, I've now reached the point where apart from two colors of tops, maybe an extra white blouse, and a black skirt I have pretty much everything I need and now I just need to exercise enough to achieve my final form. And I don't wanna. I can buy clothes and red hair and jewelry, why can't I buy my fit, martial-artist body back? It's so rude.
(I mean, plastic surgery does exist, but it doesn't confer muscle. It just removes mass and tucks and trims and everything, and what I want is muscle. I want to be able to haul around the bulk bags of cat food and cat litter like they're nothing again. And also to be able to kick people into walls. I really enjoyed having that kind of power in my legs.)
Alas. But I am getting better about exercise. I've managed to keep up on the elliptical, I've managed to fold in some port-de-bras onto that, I did some weights today so maybe I can fold in some weights and a couple more dance exercises. I'd've done it this morning if I'd been better about going to sleep on time last night. (I'm giving up on that tonight, but tomorrow night I'm going to try again.) Slow but steady progress.
So, I should get up and do some dance and another round on the elliptical and then it might be time to take an anti-anxiety pill and at least try to go the fuck to sleep. Stupid wind. Stupid anxiety. Stupid multiple tall trees falling down around my house giving me windstorm anxiety. Do not want. Do not enjoy. Dislike. Strongly.
I've been, for no real reason other than that I finally got around to spending money on it, assembling sort of a capsule dark academia wardrobe. I have two tops, three skirts that I haven't yet been brave enough to try on (though they should fit, I took my measurements), and one vest. And then a couple more vests and a blazer incoming, so we're trying blazers again. Maybe it'll work better if I actually get blazers that are already tailored for a woman's form instead of blazers that I always say I'm going to tailor and then never do. Heh. Anyway, I've now reached the point where apart from two colors of tops, maybe an extra white blouse, and a black skirt I have pretty much everything I need and now I just need to exercise enough to achieve my final form. And I don't wanna. I can buy clothes and red hair and jewelry, why can't I buy my fit, martial-artist body back? It's so rude.
(I mean, plastic surgery does exist, but it doesn't confer muscle. It just removes mass and tucks and trims and everything, and what I want is muscle. I want to be able to haul around the bulk bags of cat food and cat litter like they're nothing again. And also to be able to kick people into walls. I really enjoyed having that kind of power in my legs.)
Alas. But I am getting better about exercise. I've managed to keep up on the elliptical, I've managed to fold in some port-de-bras onto that, I did some weights today so maybe I can fold in some weights and a couple more dance exercises. I'd've done it this morning if I'd been better about going to sleep on time last night. (I'm giving up on that tonight, but tomorrow night I'm going to try again.) Slow but steady progress.
So, I should get up and do some dance and another round on the elliptical and then it might be time to take an anti-anxiety pill and at least try to go the fuck to sleep. Stupid wind. Stupid anxiety. Stupid multiple tall trees falling down around my house giving me windstorm anxiety. Do not want. Do not enjoy. Dislike. Strongly.