Warhead On Legs

Once more with extra nausea: "Well, this all seems... horrible."

That's about the extent of the commentary I have today on the subject of the last self-induced horror in this country. I'm just too tired and too done to comment further and I'd rather put my energy to helping people survive the initial shock to push for a stronger, longer term solution.

... oh look Tom Petty's ETA: almost dead now. This day is trying to set a record of horrible isn't it.

So this means dinner tonight is cranberry cheese spread, the recipe for which I will share with you since it seems I haven't yet.

Cranberry Cheese Spread
8oz mascarpone
8oz cream cheese
8oz cranberries (frozen or fresh)
8oz orange juice
orange extract or zest
4tbsp sugar

Bring the cranberries and orange juice to a low boil, then let simmer on medium heat until the cranberries are skin fragments and goo.

Mix cranberry goo (doubles as homemade cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving!) with mascarpone and cream cheese. Add orange extract or zest to taste and 4tbsp sugar, more or less to taste. Chill and serve with crackers or whatever else you like to dip into fruity cheese spread.

Ugh. Today was one of those days where I got only the bare minimum of writing work done, but hey, it got done. I also read Scalzi's Whatever post about how his productivity has been pretty far down this year, which led me to consider that this has actually been one of my more productive years, and why. (Hint: Yes, it has to do with me growing up in DC.) In a way I've long been able to deal with life is awful and political and ever since I was eleven or twelve my response has been GIVE ME A WRITING IMPLEMENT I WILL WRITE MANY ANGRY WORDS. I'm not kidding, when I was eleven or twelve, I forget which set of riots it was, but I wrote a long screed on a blue-green lined notebook about JESUS FUCK WOULD YOU ALL CALM DOWN AND STOP HURTING EACH OTHER ALREADY. Of course with less swearing. I was actually pretty mild-tongued right up until late middle school, I think.

Anyway. I take it back, I got the bare minimum of writing done and edits, which was most of today's heavy lifting, and the first two days' worth of Inktober done. I'll scan those in at work tomorrow because I don't feel like setting up the scanner at home or my by now old and tired ass computer. Which desperately needs updates and so on. The first day or so was the hardest but today I just decided to chuck it out and go with the Inktober official prompt list and whatever the hell the prompts inspire in me. Yay.

Today was also pretty chaotic at work, so I feel good about getting any writing work done and a healthyish dinner eaten. And tomorrow looks like it might be simpler to deal with at work, which is to say straightforward processing orders and shoving them out rather than five phone calls, logistics, more logistics incoming and more logistics and then processing orders and shoving them out. So hopefully I can get some writing done. I'd like to, given that I'm way behind in generating Patreon content, publishing Turing Shrugged, and prepping for Nano. Okay not WAY behind but behind enough that I don't want to sink back any further.

ETA: As of around midnight tonight EST when I actually hit post on this thing Tom Petty's manager has confirmed his death. So... yeah.

(I normally don't post 4 times in a day, I swear. Usually it's 3.)

5 minute chocolate mug cake
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
splash of vanilla extract

Add dry ingredients into large/latte mug, mix. Add egg and mix. Add liquids and mix. Add chocolate chips (if using). Put mug in the microwave and nuke at 1000 watts for 3 minutes. Cake may rise a little over the top. Cool, eat.

Seriously, has anyone made this before? I've heard of these before and I think I've seen them around, but now I actually want to try and make this. To the point where I might have to go down to the general store and get a latte mug to do it.

( 日本語 )

No, Jag, you're doing Japanese, not Russian. Remember that.

So, apparently tonight I made the tastiest omg comfort food ever. It is tasty, it is creamy, it is cheesy, it is terrific. It also may be somewhat Ameri-centric, as it involves a kind of cheese called Laughing Cow, which is a creamy swiss cheese. Probably you could substitute any kind of creamy cheese with garlic/onion/chive flavor that you like and melts well. I don't know if Laughing Cow is available in your country of choice, though.

CHICKEN AND BOW-TIE PASTA IN CREAM SAUCE
2-4 Boneless skinless chicken breast halves
12 oz pkg farfalle (bow tie) pasta
16 oz chicken broth OR 2 cups water+2 cups chicken boullion
1-2 cups broccoli florets
1 medium red pepper, thinly sliced
salt and pepper to taste
1 tub each (8.75 oz) Laughing Cow garlic and herbs and Laughing Cow french onion cheese (recipe originally suggests 2 8oz containers chive and onion cream cheese + garlic. I cheated)

Place chicken into saucepan and add water to cover. Boil 20 minutes. Allow to cool, then pull meat into shreds.

Cook pasta.

In a large skillet over medium high heat (or an actual shallow pot, if you want not to worry about slopping it over the sides) combine broth, red pepper, broccoli, salt, and cheese. Stir until smooth. Mix in chicken and pasta. Makes lots. Vary your vegetables as needed to accommodate allergies, triggers, etc.





Moo.

I need a cooking icon. Seriously. *ponders*

4 chicken breasts, pounded as flat as you like
1/2-1 cup onions, chopped and browned
3 tbsp butter
3/4 cup chicken broth
2 tsp paprika
1/4 cup sherry
8oz tomato sauce
8oz sour cream
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 cup flour
1 big skillet, 1 smaller

(Note: This is being compiled from scribbled notes on a very stained sheet of looseleaf; hopefully it makes an actual recipe 'cause I misplaced the original.)

Brown chicken in big skillet, about 15 minutes or so, then remove from heat. Brown onions in butter in smaller. Combine 1/4 cup water, 8oz tomato sauce, 2 tbsp paprika, 1 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper, add to onions. Mix thoroughly. Do not slop over the side of the skillet (this means you, Jag.)

Add smaller skillet to larger, cook chicken, about 30 minutes or so. Remove chicken from heat and set aside (or not, actually, this is kind of optional depending on how you like your sauce and your chicken). Add sour cream, flour, and sherry to skillet, thicken into sauce. Serve sauce over chicken over noodles, probably egg noodles.

I think that's how it goes!

Oh my god this grilled lime curry rubbed steak with melon chutney is delicious and you must have some RIGHT NOW.

For Chutney:

2 cups chopped ripe honeydew melon
1/3 seedless cucumber, peeled and chopped
1/2 cup chopped red onion
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 to 2 teaspoons minced jalapeño, including seeds
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

Stir. Blend. Let sit. Also makes a tasty salad. The kind of salad that would make Samuel L Jackson say "Mmm! This is a tasty salad!"

For Steak:
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon curry powder
meat
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Grill steak with rub. Make a 'sandwich' with jasmine or basmati rice, steak, and chutney. FEAST.

Vegetarians can also use the chutney recipe as a salad because it is tasty good oh my god I cannot begin to describe how happy my mouth is right now. I don't even want my Super Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ben and Jerry's because my mouth is so happy. That's how good this food is.

Note for Veggies: Could also be made entirely primavera.

8oz penne pasta
3 tbsp minced garlic (or equivalent of garlic powder)
1/2 cup fat-free cream cheese
1/2 cup fat-free milk
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
Salt, to taste
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces
Vegetables (recipe calls for 4oz quartered artichokes, 4oz sliced black olives, 6 asparagus spears and 5 tbsp sun dried tomatoes, chopped. I used 1 small yellow squash, 6 asparagus spears, and a handful of carrots)

Cook the pasta and drain, set aside. In a large skillet, sauté garlic and add chicken pieces until cooked. Remove chicken and set aside. In the same skillet on medium-low heat melt cream cheese and milk, Parmesan and salt until smooth and creamy. Add chicken and veggies. Continue cooking on medium-low heat for 15 minutes or until asparagus is cooked to desired tenderness (I like my veggies crunchy so it only cooked for 10)

Serves 4

And the recipe comes pre-made with nutritional info! 371 calories, 4g fat, 27mg cholesterol, 26g protein, 760mg sodium, 56g carbs

This thing tastes really, really good. Seriously.

Because I totally promised this to Lor ages ago, and then... yeah.

This recipe works as a stir fry but could probably be adapted to brush onto a chicken breast or something.

Honey Chicken
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup honey
2 tsp sweet chili sauce (optional)
2 tsp corn starch

Mix ingredients in bowl. Cube chicken, cook in pan/dutch oven/wok until, well, cooked. Add veggies, sauce, stir until sauce has thickened. Serve over rice. Possibly noodles?

Sauce by itself- 295 calories, makes about 4 servings

3oz chicken + sauce: 225 calories
Rice: 200 calories per serving

For those of you who haven't cooked with honey before, make sure you measure out the honey only after you've measured out everything else you're going to need it for, and fill it with hot hot water after. Then you can wash it about ten minutes later or so. Sweet chili sauce is optional but it does taste very good with a little spice; feel free to experiment. It might taste good with ginger or garlic.

I win at life. I win at life because I win at sweet and sour chicken. And now, you can win too!

(I still need a cooking icon)

1 1/2 pounds [chicken/pork/extra-firm tofu cubes?]
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
1 tablespoon sherry

1 tin chunked pineapples
1/2 white onion
1 red pepper

1 cup water
1/2 cup white vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1 tablespoon corn starch
1 teaspoon/cube boullion (chicken or veggie, depending)

Cut the meat or tofu into cubes or strips, whichever you prefer. Brush with soy sauce and sherry and set aside.

Cut onion and pepper without cutting yourself because you can't see. No, putting a piece of onion on your head does not work.*

Coat the pieces of meat in cornstarch. Deep fry 2 minutes. Deep fry the tofu as you would tofu, I have no idea how to because I have never fried tofu. Drain, let cool. In skillet or wok with 1 1/2 tablespoons oil fry up peppers and onions until tender. Stir together water, vinegar, sugar, tomato sauce, corn starch, and boullion. Add meat or tofu to skillet. Add sauce to skillet. Cook and stir until bubbly. Serve with whatever your sweet and sour heart desires.

(Note: When I made this tonight I actually made it without the water and with a little extra sugar and it turned out with a bit of a bite but still pretty damn good. So if you prefer a more bitey sauce, that might work better for you.)

Enjoy!

* Name that movie!

5 cups water
1/2 onion, diced
1 1/2 - 2 cups split dried peas
roughly 2 carrots
celery
1 potato
1 1/2 tablespoons sorghum (if you can get it off the spoon, 1 1/2 spoons)
salt, pepper, red pepper

Sautee onion bits. Boil water, rinse peas. Add peas to boiling water, peel and chop carrots, chop celery. Boil peas in water, add other veggies, salt, pepper, sorghum spices as desired. Let simmer.

Simple.

2 tablespoons canola oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 lbs. (3 large) potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch cubes
3 1/2 cups water
4 teaspoons Chicken Bouillon OR 2 teaspoons salt
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour, dissolved in 1/4 cup water
1 can (12 fl. oz.) CARNATION Evaporated Milk
1/4 cup heavy cream

Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Add chopped onion; cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 to 3 minutes or until tender. Add potatoes, water and bouillon OR salt; bring to a boil. Cook over medium heat for 15-20 minutes or until tender.

Stir in flour mixture; continue cooking for 2 minutes. Stir in evaporated milk and heavy cream. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Top each serving with bacon and green onions if desired.

Makes 4 servings.