[sticky entry] Sticky: Writing Progress

Jan. 2nd, 2017 03:43 pm
kittydesade: An open book with the top edge smouldering on fire (break my staff burn my book)

New Amsterdam Wiki Entries: 22
Nerd Girls Wiki Entries:
Modern Witch Wiki Entries: 1

Stories Published

[sticky entry] Sticky: Iwanna

Jul. 7th, 2027 05:33 pm
kittydesade: (to-do list)
For when I have free money, or to save up for these things:

Much needed:
2 pair blue sweats?

Look at your Etsy wish list
Look at your Modcloth wish list
Look at your makeup spreadsheet (Notoriously Morbid Changeling lip overglosses)

These in all colors but the light gray and dark brown.
Black Magic or Mad Science shirt
You need this t-shirt in your life.
Jeans that are not simple Lands End/LL Bean

Graphic Novels
Leaving Megalopolis
Secret Six: Friends in Low Places
Hawkeye: My Life As A Weapon
Hawkeye: LA Woman
kittydesade: A white feather quill laying across an open book with yellowed pages (am scribing)
I can tell I'm stressed beyond belief because I want to just go place orders for my next stack of research books and dude, no. You just paid off the last stack of research books and you've read like two of them. No. Stoppit.

(I am looking into payment plans on a new tablet but that's more because I'm sick of lugging my damn laptop all over creation and I miss my netbook even if it is slow as shit right now and won't hold a charge to save its life. I miss having a portable computer bigger than a phone and smaller than a laptop. Currently I've been recommended the Lenovo Yoga, am sighing and eyeballing the iPad just for ubiquitousness, and trying to figure out what finance plans are available from the various tech places I've ever bought shit from.)

I did at least finally get the second chunk of Nerd Girls re-read and notes taken, so that's a goodness. I got the last Nerd Girl wiki'd up and it's not everything, but none of them have a full wiki, it's a start. In a shocking flip of events, I got no original writing done during the day so I get to do it all in the evening. Though honestly that's the easiest part, that's why I start with it. Which I probably shouldn't. Oops.

And come to think of that I should probably also write up a protocol sheet of some kind for releasing a new novel. Blah blah finish edits copy into scrivener format in scrivener order proofs write ad copy etc. I have scribbled handwritten notes somewhere about what to do and how to do it in Kindle, but, um. Given that they're somewhere we see exactly how useful that is.

I'm not sure I have much in the way of interesting to share today. Things aren't going poorly, they aren't going well either but not in a specific to me sense. More in the whole world is a tire fire sense. But I'm getting more organized, more things done in a writing way. So that's not nothing.
kittydesade: (beautiful day)
So Cassius seems to be doing well, and while I wish there was a test for rabies that didn't involve killing the animal to be tested, I think he's going to be fine. Also most of the animals he would have been fighting with who might have bitten him, assuming that's a bite, still regularly come to the garage for food and none of them appear rabid so I'm going to say he's going to be fine. There was a scare with Bat Cat over the weekend where, after tangling with Mikey and Murdock in succession, he was favoring a back leg and not moving unless he absolutely had to, but by yesterday afternoon he was stretching and standing up and walking around, and today he was jumping on and off the furniture as per usual so I'm going to go ahead and assume he pulled something, rested it, and is now going to be fine as well. (There wasn't any blood that we could see, smell, or touch, so I assume it wasn't a hull structure issue.)

I can feel my brain gearing up to be hyper at me, this is not what I want, brain. Fuck off or at least make yourself useful and tackle some of the remaining problems lurking back there having to do with... I don't know. What project to work on next. How to integrate the villain better into Nerd Girls. Class schedules.

Work is... not so much busy today but holy hell one of our wholesale customers ordered 130lb of chemicals oy. All the heavy lifting. Fortunately also not very time consuming. But oy.

I have paid off my credit card that has become my research book buying allowance (order a bunch of books, pay for them lump sum with credit card, pay off credit card at the end of every month, collect points and build credit yay!) and now I want to go on another research book buying spree but oh my god self, read the ones you got first. Calm down. This is the same problem as my brain being hyper, you cannot in fact divide yourself into quantum entities and do everything at once. Humans don't work that way. I'm not even sure quantum works that way.

In the interests of keeping my mind calm and not full of directionless energy, let's get some plans for today. Get the day jobligations done, all that packed. Get some writing done, the word count minimum in Julien and then finish out the character articles for Nerd Girls. Finish whatever section I'm on in Nerd Girls, 2nd I think. If I can finish taking notes on Nerd Girls at home I can probably start in on rewriting either Malachy or Long Road tomorrow, which means I have a direction for reading a bunch of the research books I have, so that's good. And that's enough to be trying to work on at work. If I end up with extra time I can get several chunks more into the erotica book I was allegedly working on that somehow got swallowed up somewhere I don't know where.

Get your minds out of the gutter that's not... oh never mind.
kittydesade: (invalid - pigeonhauer)
Someday in the not likely near future I will stop beginning posts with cat updates. When I got home after class yesterday I gave Cassius and Barton their evening meal, and Barton initiated some head-licking on Cassius, which was well received. This morning Cassius was not enthusiastic but allowed me to pet him, although part of that could have been that we were outside (which is unusual lately) where people could see us and I was affronting his dignity. He didn't swipe or bite, though, he did let me pet him after going a small distance away and then deciding it was okay and coming back.

Bat Cat continues to roam the house un-battled, although there is some hissing and the occasional raised paw when they get too close. It seems like everyone's getting used to him, and he to the others, though.

I cast on a NEW knitting project at work today despite the fact that I have umpteen on needles at home. Primarily this is because I forgot to keep a knitting project at work in case I randomly want one during the day, which did happen today. Oh well. It's a cowl with bulky yarn, so it should go fairly quickly.

Between that and the new Pokemon Go 'mon that dropped today that's a whole pile of do not want to write that I'm slogging through today. I want to knit and catch pokemon and do other fun stuff, not write! Which is to say I want to do stuff other than the fun stuff I'm already doing bleeeegh. Blegh I say. Though for another plus, part of writing work right now is listening to an endless chunk of music and making a playlist for one character since her schtick, as far as I have developed her, is music nerdery. Which means I have background music while I knit and don't write!

I should get back to drafting shouldn't I. Before someone murders me in my sleep and leaves my body in the chimney.

Ordered makeup, more than I meant to because Fyrinnae discontinued a bunch of their colors including a couple I'd meant to get samples of and one that I'd meant to get a full jar of so, got those. Ordered long-sleeve shirts. At the middle of February, heh, so I'll have a month or two more of wearing them and then put them away for the warm months, but at least I'll have a better range of stylish grown-up looking shirts for the winter. I need a new pair of dance shoes for capoeira, which I keep putting off because it irritates me how expensive they are but I probably should get them considering mine are almost worn through at the holes.

And I folded and put away the laundry, which is rather amazing considering how that never happens. And and. And I need some kind of paper doll program into which I can put my wardrobe and then have an idea of what different looks would be like and what I need to get to continue my style. Or I just need a portable personal dresser. I'm having a hard time believing I'm an adult today.
kittydesade: A cup of tea sits on an open book with perhaps some poetry written in it and singing around the edges (books and cleverness)
So, last night I go to swab Cassius and he was hissing at Barton, which I'm not sure what to make of that. Any time Barton came close to Cassius on the perch he was hissed or yowled at. My hindbrain is screeching rabies this is a sign of rabies unnatural behavior unnatural behavior but Cassius would also let me pet him and snuggle him and kiss his forehead and doctor his foot with no problem, although he didn't want to eat the treats (I think he did later). So... pfff. But he did eat with an appetite this morning. I'm not sure, maybe they had a fight? (Since it happened on Valentine's Day Anna decided it was a lover's quarrel.) They've always been cozy and bumped heads and nuzzled, though. It makes me a bit worried. But Cassius remains friendly and free of other symptoms, and I'm not entirely even sure it is a bite and not just a really bad gouge or abrasion, so my hindbrain can just shut up.

I have solved the mystery of the weirdass oranges the boy got me, which were too light colored for blood oranges and did not taste like grapefruit in an orange shell. Turns out they're Cara Cara oranges, which are hardy and nutritious and tasty. And container growable, and hardy to zone 8 which, oranges, what? I'm sorely tempted to get a plant and try growing it. They're pink. It's very weird. But they taste very good.

Last night's lecture turned out to be more of a lecture plus singing, which is fine it was on the murder death love ballads so we got some good singing. I took notes that were mostly names and keywords, but I also learned that the two sisters song I've always had a weird fascination for dates back to the Viking invasions of England. There's no reason I should be surprised by that, but I kind of was.

Despite complaining that I had no idea how to get between the major beats of the short story I'm working on I somehow accidentally a foreshadowing and provided myself with what might be enough material to get between the major beats and tie it all in to the characters' first appearance in a novel already draft. So. Go me? As per usual I'm trying to get this all written and sorted or at least all of the ticky boxes on my Habitica checked off except maybe evening stretches, before I go to capoeira. Which I will be surprised if I get through that and manage to stay awake long enough to stuff food in my gob before I pass out. I've been really tired at least since Friday. I'm not sure if it's insufficient recovery time or spell backlash from Sunday or all the cleaning I did Sunday or the political stress or IDEK there are so many stressors. How do I choose some. This weekend I am once again curling up in my damn house and not leaving it (aside from capoeira) and reading and sleeping. A lot. Outside world be damned.

I have little else oh. I did read all three of Stephen Blackmoore's Eric Carter books last weekend, and by last weekend I mean mostly last Saturday. Because yes they are that good to keep my attention and have me shrieking at them for an entire day. Highly recommend. And now I'm on Delilah Devlin's urban fantasy Shattered Souls which is not bad so far. I'm on a mission for 100 books mainly from my backlog this year. So far so good!
kittydesade: A small stack of books tied together with string, a blue book is the top book with a card with a blue heart on top. (always something to be read)
Well, that was an entertaining morning catwise. Bat Cat attempted to tempt me with his belly. No, dear, I know that's a trap. But we did have some nice moments of sitting and petting and then I sat and did some language exercises on my phone and he sat in company and rolled around some more. There was a lot of cheek rubbing. Bit by bit, I think. Still need to get him FIV tested. Cassius was a pain to swab today, less because he was defensive and more because he just didn't want me to have his hind feet, lots of squirming and turning around. Eventually I swabbed him after he decided food was more important than keeping me away from his hind feet and gave him his treats. Which he turned out to like better than the other kind of treats! So maybe I can continue to bribe him. The injury looks somewhat darker, but in the sense of scabbing over, and there's still no fever, pus, or other sign of infirmity, so hopefully that'll go well too.

Current state of politics: I finished a filk on current events to the tune of Nightmare Before Christmas's What's This. [personal profile] lireavue enabled and prodded in places and we are both very punchy okay. I mean yay that Flynn is gone but there had damn well better be an explanation of some kind and also prosecutions. There probably won't be but I'm going to hope and scream anyway.

I have a lecture tonight at a library on Appalachian folklore which apparently is Appalachian Love and Murder Ballads. Happy Valentine's Day to me? Not that it would have been much of one because the boy's working his fourth twelve-hour graveyard shift in a row, is exhausted, and we'll do something later. Besides, he got me Pop dolls. I have yet to figure out what on earth he wants from books or dvds or what have you, though.

I did at least figure out the magic system I'm working with for the main character for Nerd Girls! Now I just need to figure out the secondary character, get that and some other notes dropped into the Scriv Wiki thing, aaaand I have no idea. Get moving on edits I suppose. Get moving on short stories and the alleged erotica. Things and stuff and if this is how I'm going to feel on days after doing all the things I really need not to do all the things tonight so I'm not too exhausted to kick things tomorrow. Blargh. I need more time. Or time folding. A time turner. So I can sleep and do everything else too.
kittydesade: (facepalm - dean)
Ooof well that was a weekend. Spent most of Saturday curled up and reading, which was sorely needed, spent most of Sunday cleaning, which was also sorely needed, but absolutely none of either day writing or studying, which makes me grumpy. But hell, I got a lot of stuff done. And yes, relaxing and resting does count as getting stuff done. So there, self.

Plus even on crappy sleep I was rested enough today to get a bunch of writing done, some edits on Nerd Girls done, and vomit out a pile of tweets about a Robin Hood novel set on a college campus because everything is set on a college campus. (Also because I'd just finished reading a tumblr post about college campuses as liminal spaces as fairy lands. Which I have read that book and it is a prized book on a shelf of honor.) I don't know if the Robin Hood book will ever get written but it did take over my brain and make me incredibly hyper for fifteen to twenty, as the new ideas latching into my brain do.

(I really, really also need to get back into the habit of accounting for myself on Imzy, come to that.)

I got home, I got groceries, I got fruit, I did some dishes and made the boy's tea and my mango lassi. Which still needs either some sugar or to start out with vanilla yogurt, I'm not sure which, but it's not bad. I even got my languages done and finished part 1 of the Nerd Girls first draft which, yes, amounted to "expand here and here and here and here and keep this dialogue and oh god figure out your magic system already." I got out some of the shirts I've been meaning to play with as far as cutting up and making all punk again goes. Figured I might as well. I'm not sure how it looks yet, the mirror's upstairs and I'm finishing a movie and also I don't want to get up off the couch.

And about 75% of this is I can't deal with politics anymore and 25% is I'm having some body issues and I just started filking Nightmare Before Christmas to the current political situation so it's probably time to go to bed now.
kittydesade: (Default)
Brief Cassius update: his injury still looks pink and ooky, but not yellow or white or green or any other pustulent color so I'm assuming it's uninfected. His ears are normal temperature, his appetite seems good, and he's chirpy and cuddly. He suffered his foot to be swabbed again today and I used an antiseptic recommended by name on PetMD and available through the boy's work, so hopefully that will help it heal cleanly. I rewarded him with treats afterwards so hopefully he'll be more inclined to tolerate me poking around his foot.

Bat Cat continues to be at least content in the house if not necessarily in his room, he wants to go out and explore. And did, with supervision! This would be so much easier if we could get him to a vet (or get a vet to him) and get him tested and so on, but so it goes.
kittydesade: (Default)
Spent most of today either curled up asleep in bed or curled up on the couch reading, but an update on the cats so far:

Bat Cat is home! I was woken up at 1.30 in the morning to be told so, but apparently he did come back to the door for food and warmth since half the reason we brought him inside in the first place is because the rest of the clowder took exception to him sharing the garage/utility room. And now he is home and back in his quarantine room, in between coming out for walks and being shadowed as he explores the house.

Cassius bedded down in the utility room for the night, was gone shortly after breakfast, and has come back for the night. His injury doesn't look much worse but he is sweating out of his paws, which makes me want to get him in for an antibiotic shot and maybe a bandage. And then we can stick him into one of the OTHER rooms for quarantine, hopefully. Barton will have to live without his company for a day or two. Or we can bag Barton and stick him in the room with him.

But so far, so much better. Part of the sleeping for ten hours today, I think, was relief.
kittydesade: (bad day)
Current political state: I have reached the point where hysterical laughter is the default response to news coming out of DC. Maniacal, unbelieving, amused but uncontrollably nervous laughter.

Goddammit boyfiend do not text me to tell me a cat is missing, just. Don't. I mean on the one hand at least it's Bat Cat and if he has escaped to the outside world he's only been in about six weeks, and on the other hand that is not something I want to hear when I'm at work and there's nothing I can do about it. I want all my cats safe and sound at home goddammit. At least with the feral clowder I know they're generally safe and sound under the house or in the yard, but part of the reason we brought Bat Cat in was because the other two in the clowder had decided he no longer belonged and. Ugh.

Bonus Ugh because work has been absurdly busy and after about five hours of running around packing things picking things answering phones running around some more I finally got a chance to sit down and eat a damn orange but haven't gotten a chance to do much else argh.

Extra Bonus Ugh in getting a text from the boy that one of the other ferals, one of the clowder who's been running Bat Cat off, is injured. With picture to boot. I'm hoping I can sit in the utility room with him and get him cuddly and then stuff him into a crate and we can take him to the 24 hour vet, but ugh. Apparently he's also not coming close at least for now.

I want corn chips and mac and cheese and not to do anything and fuck everything I want to go home and I want all my damn cats. All 8 of them. Yes, I am a crazy cat lady, who the fuck cares, I want all my cats safe and home.

ETA: So Cassius came up for his evening meal and I was able to scoop him up and almost jam him into a carrier, if it had been a little bigger I probably would have. Instead of that we ended up putting him in the quarantine room/office and sitting with him until he stopped pacing, then swabbing his bite/injury with water and then with an antibiotic ointment that he hopefully has not all wiped or licked off by now. He's reappeared on his shelf in the utility room so it seems like he'll stick around as per routines, which in turn will mean we can keep an eye on how that's healing. (Also I swear, if he weren't really attached to Barton, who actually does behave like a feral, I would rehome him in an instant. I can pick him up, stuff him halfway into a carrier, haul him around, move him to get a better look at his paw, touch the belly, touch his injured paw with q-tips... nothing. The most he ever did was squirm, no swiping with claws, no biting, no anything. lots of purring and meowing.)
kittydesade: (fight like a girl)
Today's politics... well, still a clusterfuck of absurd proportions and even worse since I started typing this yesterday but the other night I got declared the coxswain of the Resistance so that made me smile quite a bit. As did contemplating spamming my Congressfolk with Evil Supply Co cards that say 'Good Job On Your Evil Deed'

Ahem. I'm just a bit punchy. Also exhausted.

Capoeira was fun but oh my god, we ended up doing drills all evening with chairs as our opponents and I hurt. We had 15 minutes per movement for the first hour ish, then down to 10 or 5 minutes per move the second. And today I am not only achey (surprisingly less so than I expected) I am really damn exhausted. And what I should do is more of it when I get home just to keep up. But ugh so tired. Emotionally tired as well as physically, see also the clusterfuck that is US politics.

Plus side, I did manage to get some Nerd Girls done yesterday. I did get a fair amount of writing done today and I got my languages done, some reasonable translations (yay progress in Hindi!) but since I spent most of today's exercise time asleep, most of today's writing time was spent exercising. Oops. I can't say it's a need of time management skills so much as it is a need to remember that after class I sleep for twelve hours. Well, eight. But it feels like twelve.

I did stress buy some makeup, and then the boy bought me some Pop dolls for Valentine's Day because he's adorable like that. Unfortunately most of what he wants are things like movies or books or something and I have no idea which ones he wants most especially, so aaargh. But I may think of something, I may get a couple seasons of Vikings or Black Sails or something else that I know he's been watching. Or just an Amazon gift certificate, hell. I know he likes his kindle. Yes, at this point I'm thinking out loud at you all because two hours of drills! I am still tired.

I don't have much else to babble at y'all right now. But rest assured that when politics shake out more I will be a flailing Pesto ball of ... something. For those of you who remember the Animaniacs I've turned into Pesto on Twitter, which is to say that someone will RT or say something and all of a sudden I'll be tapping out a twelve-to-twenty tweet thread that basically amounts to DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A GAME TO YOU? ARE WE ROLLING DICE? IS THIS A GIANT GAME OF RISK? WHERE ARE YOUR PIECES? etc etc. In a very Joe Pesci way, but a small woman in sparkly glitter.
kittydesade: (to-do list)
Current political mood: I want to set everything on fire and I want to gather up all my neighborhood children, quit my job, and show them the wonders of learning. And there's DAPL bullshit, and a couple other things and guys I am so so tired.

I did manage to get up and do some exercise this morning, although I've figured out that another part of my reluctance is that my strength building exercises are for shit right now, so I want to crap out because I'm no good at them. No, self. That's not how this works. I have no idea how to motivate myself through it though other than just to push through. Meh.

my brain is exhausted and fogged so in lieu of that you get a to-do to-done list

(Oh my god I have been on such a tear today about the importance of Horse Stance or something like it in martial arts and people who want to look like they know how to do martial arts I cannot even begin to tell you. This is entirely Iron Fist and Finn Jones' fault. I have no idea where that comparison post with Jet Li went but I wish I'd reblogged it or bookmarked it so I could point and go THIS THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW.)

To Do
2. 10 pages of Nerd Girls
3. Entry in the New Amsterdam wiki
8. More yoga/stretches/low-impact body-weight strength building (HORSE STANCE)

To Done
1. French/German/Italian duolingo
2. Hindi translation finished
3. At least 5 words copied over in Arabic
4. Let Batty Catty out to walk around the living room
5. Called congressperson
6. 500 words in Julien
7. Dishes in the sink
kittydesade: (morning ugh)
Ugh I spent most of yesterday relaxing and resting and I still felt tired when I got up. Of course I feel tired now, but that's because work involved non-stop packing and answering phones and packing and more answering phones and fixing things and I didn't even get to the weekend's orders despite having come in on the weekend so I would actually get to the orders on Monday and yet no. At least I can deal with it all tomorrow probably.

And because of all that there's no political screaming today! That and I think I've run out of screaming for a while. It was never shocking and now it's not even really startling, it's just annoying. That I have to waste energy on these people's bullshit. That a lot of strong, creative, wonderful people have to waste energy just treading water because these people can't stop fucking everyone else over.

On Twitter I've become this bizarre hybrid of Fred Rogers and R Lee Ermey where most of the time I swear a lot and grump about things and then in the evenings and at random other intervals I talk at people about okay take care of yourself and get plenty of good sleep. It's absurd but hilarious. It also seems to help, so what the hell, I might as well, right? Although my X-Files binge is also giving me an urge to write helpful hints on the X-Files title card background. Something like "don't reply to the trolls" and maybe "trust but verify"

And now it's the end of the day and I'm still tired. Did manage to get some writing done! Not as much else as I wanted, but writing and reading over some things on top of a longass workday, hell, I'll take it.
kittydesade: An open book with the top edge smouldering on fire (break my staff burn my book)
So yes. I have a hole in my tooth. I guess the good news here is that it's not awful to fix, it might not even need to be drilled, just needs cleaned out and refilled. But ugh. And I need to make an appointment to deal with that because the Aunt also needs to have a hole in her teeth refilled so we can both go get poked and prodded and stuffed in the face at the same time oh joy.

... wait I might not even need to get numbed up if he doesn't need to drill. HEY UPSIDE.

I was doing so good and avoiding the Twitter news and then I saw an article that said 'he' is why we can't have nice things and like a dumbass I clicked it and now I'm all MUST BUY ORANGE TREES AND APPLE TREES SO I DON'T LOSE MY FRESH FRUIT. Jesus fuck if he loses us most of our trading partners I think 90% of the country will straight up storm wherever he is and drag him out to lynch him. It won't even be so ambiguous as oh dear the stock market did a weird thing and oops there goes the economy. It will be straight up YOU GOT US INTO TRADE WARS WITH OUR BIGGEST TRADING PARTNERS LOOK WHAT YOU DID.

Anyway this is pretty much my cycle. I'm doing all right for a while coping with the onslaught of politics and then something happens that sends my brain into complete meltdown, usually late at night. I need to get into the habit of skipping over that stuff after say 10pm.

I did finally manage to get through a chunk of Long Road yesterday, and I think the problem is going to be equal parts pacing and research. Basically I have to read a bunch of books about the right eras, write/rewrite/edit the relevant sections till they're the appropriate length, and then go back and history check everything and decide if I'm leaving that there because pop culture fantasy history or if I'm changing that to be more historically accurate because history is more fun.

And then after that... fuck if I know, do I go to Nerd Girls or back to Malachy argh. Plus the other two projects I need to work on on weekends, at least one of which I need to go back through and make a timeline and an arc for and aaaaargh okay I'll reread that this weekend I guess. Aaaargh.

It's not as bad as I'm complaining it is, I'm just having project paralysis. This is why it's so much easier for me to fall into something fun and not-related to anything I've imposed myself a deadline on, because then I'm not wondering which one to tackle next for optimal results and I'm just enjoying myself. NOT THIS YEAR, MOTHERFUCKER. This year I work, because there's a lot of work to do.
kittydesade: (under construction (nopejr))
Today's political commentary:

I'd like to say I can blame my current hyperactive fit on the girl scout cookies I ate this morning, but it was six cookies three and a half hours ago and I've been running around the store since then so I have no idea what this is. I have a dire need to calm down, focus, and do one thing and then the next thing and not all the things at once, and it's not happening. Possibly lunch will help.

I got writing done, I got languages somewhat done (my focus kept wandering during Hindi, not sure why because usually I love translating back and forth) and then I went on Twitter again and saw WE WILL NEVER HAVE A DEMOCRATIC ELECTORAL VICTORY AGAIN BECAUSE OF REPUBLICAN GERRYMANDERING WOE and fell into the hole from which there is no escaping. So edits didn't get done. Resting did somewhat get done, but argh.

(And then the hyper got channelled into a Twitter rant on how we just can't build a wall, establish tariffs, and effectively drop out of the global economy because no one can afford the markup those tariffs will generate.)

(Lunch has not yet helped.)

Also not helping is that I keep thinking there's a shitpile of stuff I need to do and things like dentist appointments and theatre goings get in the way. I really, really need to do some house cleaning but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning, capoeira tonight, I have to be out of the house by 8.30-8.40 tomorrow which means waking up earlier than usual, I have a dinner date with the boy tonight, I have theatre on Saturday night maybe (Much Ado About Nothing), and and and. I don't know. My head's spinning, I need it to calm down, it's not happening. So I guess it's walking around doing day jobligations until I can breathe again, or doing one small task that I can finish at a time so I don't get distracted and surround myself with quarter-finished things.

I really, really dislike this manic state, I wish I knew what set it off so I could keep from doing it again. ugh.
kittydesade: (do not thump the book of g'qon)
Today's incoherent political gabble consists mostly of FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUUUUUUUUU because I have a Republican Senator and grrrrrrr fuck him anyway.

Not helped by the disappointment at looking up the martial arts instructor's credentials and seeing that he learned Krav Maga from a guy who appears to have been shuffled out of active duty in the IDF to a desk job to make him stop making things worse by punching them. I appreciate that generally in a military force everyone learns some combat basics but if your need to punch things is so great that you get pulled from the field to ride a desk because you're causing trouble...urgh. I don't want to sit on both the instructor's advocacy of punching things and my own need to hit something, thanks. (For those interested the style is apparently "Commando Krav Maga" by a guy named Moni Aizik. The first two hits were mainly other martial arts sites complaining that this guy was giving people bad ideas and Krav maga a bad name.)

Damn, too. I was looking forward to taking a seminar on more directly combat related physicality. I mean I like capoeira for long term practice, but sometimes I just want to learn how to avoid people with weapons. Or hit them really hard in the kidneys. (I'm having aggression issues right now can you tell. We should probably get that punching bag installed soon. Plus side, I'm used to expressing them with ranting to thin air or online or screaming into a pillow or doing some kind of physical practice. My Mom taught me well. And got me good therapists.

I really, really need to do more writing. I made it to around 9.30 last night, getting everything done, languages and everything, and then Yates got fired and people were calling it the Saturday Night Massacre all over again and I freaked myself right the hell out and nothing got done. Apart from being not good for my deadlines, that's just not good for my mental health. Blergh. At least I did get my 500 done for the day, that hasn't happened I think since the inauguration.

Now I just need to fix my Scrivener syncing phone to computer problem argh.
kittydesade: (rampage)

This has been your political commentary of the day.

It's funny, I've gotten to the point where I can call my congressperson if I have a solid thing to call them on fairly easily, but I still have anxiety issues with emailing back anyone from college. Which is a longer list than I expected. Not even bullies or teachers I didn't get along with, I like these people! And yet I have anxiety.

I also haven't been doing much of any creative work in the last week or so (gee I wonder why) and I need to fix that. It'll help me if I do, it might help me help other people, other people might benefit from having something fun to read maybe? Though some of these stories aren't the most fun. And. And mostly it's just good for me to keep working at this. I don't think a lot of us anticipated it would get this bad this soon, but lo, it has. Which means I, at least, need to keep working.

Bit by bit. Today's goals, I guess, will be to write some in the erotica and some in the Julien story since I need to get that finished drafted for the anthology. If I can do that then when I get home it can be only languages and reading for research, and maybe reading over Long Road and getting those edits written out. And exercise. Mustn't forget exercise, I need to do that, I need to practice my capoeira and possibly just punch the air a few times to get some anger out. Really.

... speaking of punching things, though, I'm not sure whether to be amused and touched or afraid and touched. The boy texted me earlier today to ask if I wanted to attend a seminar on self defense against weapons in a couple weekends, saying that we could go if I wanted. It's one of the ones at the place near-ish to my capoeira practice I think, so realistically I could also go by myself if I could scrounge up the money, but it'll be nice to have company. They mention Krav Maga too, which I'm obviously interested in. And I can't tell if he thinks I'll need it or if he's just trying to make me feel better. (It's working.)

I have fond hopes of getting there, they say "okay how would you take down this person pointing a gun at you," and the right answer is my reflex answer of step outside the gun arm if he's within range and punch him a couple times quick under the arm. Or in the kidneys. Or something. It's entirely possible this is bravado on my part but this is why I want to take the class, to learn!

I'm going to go write and stop fantasizing about punching people now. We'll blame my upbringing that this is how I get under significant stress.
kittydesade: (never again is what you swore)
Seriously, any time my life wants to become less surreal. Not because of the viral tweet this time, although that's still hitting me in the dizzy spot. But this time an old college friend who I haven't talked to since college wants to get in touch and I did and I found out what she's been doing and.... okay! Sure. I need to email her back with what I've been doing, but .... yeah, I don't even know what's going on anymore. On a whole different level than the complete shitshow of politics.

.. Come to think of it this goes well with my contacting my old professor out of the blue, as karmic... something. I don't even know. The world is very, very weird right now.

And I didn't manage to get anything done yesterday, either. Which is probably a result of me not getting extra sleep on Wednesday, which I need to remember, and also maybe the mental stresses of the last few days? There's probably good reasons for that, and I'm probably not being lazy, but argh.

Discovered two more celebrity follows on Twitter, which thankfully is not giving me an existential crisis. Also thankfully they're buried somewhere in the mass of followers so I can't really go looking in my follow list and make sure they're still there like I could before. And since they're not in shows/areas I keep track of, hopefully it'll slip out of my head eventually.

I don't even know what to say about today's immigrant ban. It's absurd. It's especially obscene today, which is undoubtedly why he did it. It's ludicrous that this will keep anyone safer, even if his goal was to protect the citizens of the States, which it obviously isn't. It's beyond foolish to think this will result in anything other than more suffering which, again, is probably why he did it. Because he's a hateful ogre in a spray tan and an absurdly colored hair implant, and he doesn't know any other way to behave. And the spineless boot-lickers who are right there with him just want the power this will bring. It's a threat to the other countries that deal with him because, hey, none of them were affected. Yet.

I don't know. I'm going to go to sleep, get a lot of rest before capoeira tomorrow, and spend the rest of the weekend hiding in my house picking things up and trying to piece my brain back together. And catch up on the writing I didn't do during the week.
kittydesade: Stippled light shining through curtains onto a couch or bed bracketed by white pillows. (hideaway)
I'm so tempted to delete my twitter account sometimes. Aaargh people go away. I still feel stage fright posting anything. Especially since one person who posted an earlier version of the tweet (I'd say 'the original' but there's at least two other versions floating around and I have no idea who said it first) is accusing me of plagiarism. Which, for reference, here is her version of the tweet and mine is... somewhere. And as far as I can tell in lawyer terms it comes under fair use, derivation or... something else, this is weird law here. And either way oh my god person I did not exactly choose to go viral here. I still have no idea when (other than an hour range) or how it did. Ugh. Person, I did not in fact stand there and copy your tweet and then sit there telling people to retweet it for an hour. Aaargh.

So apparently we are now two and a half minutes to midnight, according to the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists. Which is actually somewhat hopeful because I expected us to be closer. So I guess there's sort of a plus side that we're not. On the other had that was probably before the entire State Department leadership resigned so who the hell knows what's going on now. Plus side there, I don't think we're any more in trouble than we were before because I'm betting half the reason they resigned is because no one was listening to them in the first place.

I did not actually get any writing done after I checked in last night because, well, capoeira. I might get some done at work today because it is slow as hell. Did get the safe deposit box stuff done finally, which leaves social security card, passport, etc. In the boy's case, a copy of one of his forms that doesn't look like it was expelled by a drunken mimeograph machine.

Thingstuff. I'm running out of Donnie Yen and Jet Li to watch, I suppose I have the rest of Legends though. Interest in A Series of Unfortunate Events is waning, mostly because the whole Violet-Olaf thing squicks me right the hell out. Watched Voltron S2 already. Probably what's going to happen over the next several weeks is I'm going to rotate through various comfort watchings while I do things.

Mostly I feel like the past week is karmic retribution for unkind thoughts I've had over the last I don't know how long. And I'm just tired and I want it all to go away. Although the news cycle for once is more entertaining in the horrifying way than exhausting in the horrifying way. There's nothing I can do about the State Department leadership resigning en masse. I can call my Senator about the various nominations yet to be voted on more than once, but it feels overweening and being on the phone with official people stresses me out quite a bit anyway.

I do have books to read, though. Fiction and non. That's not nothing.
kittydesade: A woman standing on one hand, legs spread and one arm tucked in front of her chest, in mid-kick. (capoeira girl)
Oh dear sweet goddess protect me, you know how going viral on Twitter is one of those things that a lot of people say "wouldn't it be cool if"? It's not cool. I mean I kind of knew it wasn't cool even before this because I'm Twitter friends with a lot of somewhat famous people with 12-80k follower counts and I see how they handle this, but then this ONE THING. One damn thing that was supposed to be something to amuse and cheer up my friends went fucking viral and now Twitter just exhausts me. Plus side, i discovered tonight that if I come home and tweet "hi I'm dying in a puddle of sweat" from capoeira no one seems to care. Or at least no one in quantities seems to care.

Capoeira was great fun and hard and we worked out the whole two hours and now I feel a lot more steady in the brainpan, to an extent, but also fucking exhausted so the rest of this is bullet points and me unhinging my jaw and swallowing lots of Skyline.

I still haven't figured out what the rough structure of my erotica is going to be. Which is to say I have many characters I can ship in various forms but fuck if I know which ones.

I did the math and I'm 50-60k light on story for White Lightning, so that needs to be solved soonest.

Work ... something. I can't tell if it's January slow or impending economic doom slow. This is annoying me and stressing me out. Stupid retail. (Plus side, the chief breadwinner for our household is in the medical/government field and we have savings and I have shitloads of languages.)

My research books came in! Yay escape through Chinese fairy tales. And various forms of "we r edgelord magickers" from the last couple hundred years of Great Britain. (No, I don't have much use for most of them except as story fodder.)

I'm watching Frontier as I eat way too much food. I'm not sure what to think about it but Jason Momoa is distracting. Also in the supremely hot way but mostly in the ... I don't know, I keep expecting a Wraith to show up way. Also it has the werewolf boyfriend from Hemlock Grove and it's confusing me.

Cookie Butter ice cream from Trader Joe's is tastier than I expected given that I'm generally underwhelmed by cookie butter. But it reminds me a little of a spicier, thicker butter pecan.

God I need to pass out soonest.


kittydesade: (Default)

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