Warhead On Legs

( Русский язык )

Here's one you haven't seen in a while: Me (Me) and Sam (Also Me)

Me, coming out of the shower: Wow, that only took...
Sam: Ten minutes, yep.
Me: ... so, I just... got up. Stretched, ran, showered, washed my face...
Sam: In an hour, yep. See what happens when you don't get distracted, when you go through all your routine cleanly and efficiently?
Me: ...?
Sam: *baps* You stretch in five, you feed the cats in five, you leave five minutes early. You come back, hop straight into the shower, it takes you ten minutes instead of fifteen.
Me: Oohhhhhhh.
Sam: Duh. Now, do it again, for eight weeks.
Me: Crap.
Sam: *laughs at me*

I get no respect even from myself. I swear.

So, I have this novel. And it's about an angel who doesn't know he's an angel, whose life started about five or six years ago, who has a couple of girlfriends (poly, not cheating) and who has managed to, unbeknownst to anyone in the book until towards the end, knock up one of them. The other one is possessed by a demon who's trying to get him. I forget why, but I'm sure I wrote in a good reason, I remember the outline was pretty tight. Recurring motifs involve mirrors, wings, shadows, and headaches. Sort of. Shadow and darkness, both of light and the kind that happens when you pass out. Main characters are the angel and his two girlfriends. Side characters are another angel who's kind of investigating the human angel (I'm getting tired of typing out amnesiac angel) to see if he's redeemable back to heaven or if he's a lost cause, and the demon who's possessing one of the girlfriends to corrupt the angel. And the possessed girlfriend's girlfriend (see: poly).

The only problem is, this is for novelbigbang and they need a title by the end of the month. And, seriously? I suck at titling things. HELP ME, F-LIST. I also should probably come up with a book blurb and a real two-page-ish plot synopsis for query purposes, plus a synopsis of whatever length they want for the comm, but that can come later. And that, sometimes at least, is easier.



I am so awesome that, would you believe it, I'm almost ready to go by now. I just need to put my chip case (CHIP CASE) and my bento (BENTO) in my pack, grab my sunglasses and iSis and things and go. Which. My iSis is trying to give me a heart attack. I have a flip-closed iPod case, and it was closed, and I wasn't touching it, and it was off, I know because I turned it off when I got in from walkies/running this morning, and it spontaneously turned on. For no apparent reason. What the hell, are there demons about, and if so, why didn't the TV flicker on? What the fuck, iSis?

Anyway. In conclusion, I am awesome, and this better be the start of a fucking fantastic day. Or at least, a day of me being awesome. Like, strangely, the past two days have been. Exhausted, but still Michael Bay.