Warhead On Legs

( Deutsch )

And in the category of Things I Do Not Get: having to own 10 pairs of shoes because I'm a woman. Or maybe I'm not a real woman. I own four pairs of shoes that do not involve performance in some way, because for performance I wear costumes, and that's a different category. But. Four pairs of shoes. Black thick-sole hiking sneakers, sneakers, black biker boots, and brown leather sandals. I do not wish to own or intend to own more than that. But apparently as a woman I am somehow obligated to own, lust after, or think about owning at a minimum ten pairs of shoes? I will grant that I probably should have a pair of dressy shoes but if I ever go to an occasion where my black biker boots don't cut it, I'll probably have ample warning to go out and pick up a pair. Or I'll wear my black sneakers over pants long enough to hide that they're sneakers. I just don't get the shoe lust. Clothes lust I get, I will freely admit that I drool over outfits in stores and all. But the only thing I want my shoes to do is protect my feet and keep me from falling. And, occasionally, be stompy.

Anyway. In the category of stereotypical women things I DO get? Chocolate cravings goign with PMS. Every month these days it's like clockwork, a week before, woe and more like puffing than bloating, but still. Day of and/or day surrounding? CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE GIVE ME ALL THE CHOCOLATE. It's a bit nuts. Right now it's pretty much a litany of oh god feel puffy ow ow ow CHOCOLATE GIVE ME ALL THE CHOCOLATE ow ow CHOCOLATE feel puffy and weird DID I MENTION THE CHOCOLATE. There may be a hot shower when I get home.

... and then I was suckered into writing self-indulgent (and other people indulgent) Supernatural AU fanfic. How. How in the hell. At least it gives me something to write in a bit at a time that isn't any of my original projects. Go go mental floss?

( Deutsch )

I've come to a conclusion. I hate the words 'girly' and 'tomboy.'

Okay, no, I don't hate them, they're words. They're my trade, they're as useful as any other word and as powerful when we let them be, etc. But just now I checked my email and got an advertisement from Ebay asking me which I wanted to be?!?!! Girly or Tomboy?

Fuck you, Ebay. Fuck you and your gender stereotypes.

I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl. I like jeans because I look good in them, because I work around chemicals and wool and other things that get crap all over you and jeans are practical and durable and easy to launder. When I'm not working, I like to wear sweats and a t-shirt. If I have to go out among people, I might throw on a skirt or a skirt-with-pants-under, or even jeans and a blouse. If I have to work a show or something, I'll throw on jeans and a blouse. I like my jeans and I like my pants, they're functional, they work for me for everything except dancing, where I like to feel my skirt swishing around my legs. And that's my dressing habits in a nutshell. Dressing habits that mostly, except for formal or fancy occasions, do not involve dresses.

But that's me. And I happen to be a girl. Both biologically and mentally/emotionally, not that you needed to know that. Cisfemale. Comfortable with myself. It does not make me fucking girly. It does not make me fucking tomboy. It makes me me. And if you try to stick me in one of your little boxes, I will put on makeup and earrings and my rattyass jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt and punch the shit out of your box. The next salesperson to try and sell me something to make me look more feminine, more girly, or even more pretty when I haven't asked said salesperson what would look good with [insert my usual habits here] I will punch in the face. Okay, maybe not, but I will have many scathing remarks. Assault charges are not fun.

I wear scent. I wear earrings. I would put my hair up if I left myself time in the morning and/or knew how to do it, depending on the hairstyle. Partly because it makes me feel pretty, also because having my hair out of the way of my tape gun is a good thing. Sometimes I wear makeup even though I pretty much work in back all the time, not with customers. Why? Because I feel pretty. I like feeling pretty. Not beautiful, not gorgeous, not glamorous and not girly, just, pretty. It makes me feel good about myself. But you know what? I feel just as good about myself not wearing makeup, not wearing jeans, but clean and scrubbed and in comfortable sweatpants and a good-fitting t-shirt. Especially if it's yellow shorts and black socks and I can pretend I'm Silk Spectre. I choose my clothes because they function for the purpose I want them, which is any combination of a) to protect me from the elements/chemicals/plants/things, b) to accommodate society's notion that we not run around starkers, c) to feel good. If it's jeans and a t-shirt, a blouse and jeans, a skirt and a t-shirt, a skirt and jeans... wait. A skirt and a blouse. Sweats. Shorts and a sports bra. A bathing suit. A bathing suit and shorts. Scent and earrings and makeup or nothing whatsoever at all. Whatever. It's what I wear, it's a part of who I am, it's me. It is not girly. It is not tomboy. It is not feminine. It is not masculine. It is how I dress. Fuck you and your perpetuating gender stereotypes, and making us feel different for preferring outside your expectations. Fuck it right in the eye.

Ahem. No, this rant wasn't meant to be terribly thought out, so if you're looking to argue and maybe refute a well thought out argument, you've come to the wrong place. The email pissed me off, so now you all get to hear about it.

Okay, one last word on the subject of dressing habits and then I really study my German. I think, if I were to describe how I dress, apart from "well, jeans and t-shirts" I would describe it as I dress like a hippie. Or, I dress like a college student. When I was actually in college I dressed like a corporate secretary. More in terms of profession, occupation, or calling than in terms of gender. Hippies wear jeans or tie-dyed t-shirts (I have so many of them now you guys oh my god) or skirts or oversized jackets, things like that. And random decorations strung all over the place. That's pretty much how I dress. Also like how I did in college. So, I dress like a college student. The rest is just... filler.

Actually, describing how I dress is kind of filler too. Ah well.

And now I go make a friendship bracelet. Which I haven't done since I was ... like, sixteen. Hee.