"Red Means Stop"
Apr. 3rd, 2004 01:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeSo, I went to see Hellboy tonight.
Is it just me? Is there something about the average American that I'm not understanding? Or has the quality of American cinema gone down so far that we must be appreciative of the humor in films like Soul Plane and White Chicks? Is there anything redeeming in these films, anything that I should find amusing? Please, do tell me, because I would sorely like to know. Is this some black cunt joke that white cunts don't get? She said, badly misquoting Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but you get the idea.
I don't understand this kind of toilet humor, exaggerated slapstick shoeshine face humor. I don't understand why people find cultural stereotypes blown out of proportion funny. Well, I do, a little. But I don't understand why there is enough humor in that joke to make an entire movie amusing. It's like trying to make a movie out of a knock knock joke; you can't do it. It's physically impossible. The preview for 13 Going On 30 I at least understood, somewhat. It's Big, only with a female protagonist. I remember watching Big when I was ... well, about the age the kid was. And I probably would have enjoyed a movie with a girl as the lead. Hell, I might enjoy it now.
But Soul Plane... I could actually feel my IQ dropping.
Hellboy, on the other hand, was everything I had expected. Nothing like Great Cinema Of Our Time, complete with capital letters, but definitely a good night out at the movies. Ron Perlman rocks my world, and I'd forgotten how utterly cute he can be as The Beast (tm). Not specifically the Beast from the old Beauty and the Beast tv-show, which I had a crush on when it was first out and I was ... five. Or something. But just as the overlarge misfit young man who can't quite fit in and snarks off at everyone to make up for it. He's so cute. Hellboy was so cute. I wanted to give him a big hug and an even bigger pizza.
I could have done without the John Smith.. er... John... what the hell was his last name? I've forgotten it already. Except as a foil for just about everyone else the kid was utterly forgettable. But it's all right because he gave the opportunity for straight lines and the punching of cars. Plus, he was part of the Vehicle For the Redemption of Hellboy, which means he was a necessary lump.
I loved Dr. Broom. Love love love. He reminds me of a character in a novel I'm working on now. I was so sad when he died, even though I knew it was necessary simply by dint of the role he played in the movie.
Liz was kind of cute, even if she was stereotypical. And she was really cute in the way she and Hellboy interacted. "She took his picture. She took his picture! She TOOK his PICTURE!!! She took his picture." Heee. Plus there was that whole "Red, white, all men are the same" thing. And the kiss at the end was predictable yet oh so cute. I totally ship them.
Evil. Rasputin: Ugly, ranting, and I could have done without all the babble. Blonde chick: Ugly, pointless, and I didn't see what she brought to the plot. At all. I wanted her dead in the first five minutes. Actually in the first five minutes when they had that whole squicky love fest I wanted one of the Nazis to say 'Hey, would you two stop acting like American actors and get back to work' or something. Just to completely shift or ruin the mood.
Creepy doctor what turned himself into a sand-powered cyborg guy: BRILLIANT. They must have salvaged him from the comics because that was absolutely amazing. I loved it. I loved the way he moved, I loved the concept, I want one for my room.
Oh! I knew I was forgetting someone. Because really, a film like this is just a vehicle for the personalities, the quips in the script, and the special effects.
BLUE! I loved Blue. I loved the matter of fact way in which he took everything in stride (that didn't parse at all). I loved how he told Liz that "Someone needs to take care of [Hellboy], and I'm stuck in here, so..." I loved him. Love love love. I want one of him, too. I was so glad when they didn't kill him.
Tentacles. There were too many tentacles.
And on the whole, Hellboy delivered exactly what Hellboy promised, and all of that in spades. Shiny effects, cool lines, vaguely plot-like thing holding it together, and at least a few characters I'd go out for a beer with. I give it two stone key-arms up. Which would probably make me very lopsided, but hey.
And I barely squeaked through my FM deadline on that 15k word marathon thingie. Yeep. I probably shouldn't have gone to go see Hellboy but my wrists needed the break. Still, one of the more productive days I've had in a while. Actually one of the more productive few days, I hope the trend continues. Tomorrow, though, it's edit like a crazy person time. And start writing those synopses, because Sunday is query letter polishing and then... ahhh. All hell's going to break loose in my brain.
Oh! New Touching Evil tonight. It was sad and depressing. And the really really really creepy part? Sebastian Roche was back. It was weird seeing him interact with Vera Farmiga, watching them and knowing them both from Roar, originally. Especially since Roar's been rerunning at weird and random points on the Sci-Fi channel. Just... wacky. Wacky wacky fun. But I still adore Creegan. He needs a hug.
Okay. Between last night's dreams and today's working binge, I need sleep. Ta.
Is it just me? Is there something about the average American that I'm not understanding? Or has the quality of American cinema gone down so far that we must be appreciative of the humor in films like Soul Plane and White Chicks? Is there anything redeeming in these films, anything that I should find amusing? Please, do tell me, because I would sorely like to know. Is this some black cunt joke that white cunts don't get? She said, badly misquoting Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but you get the idea.
I don't understand this kind of toilet humor, exaggerated slapstick shoeshine face humor. I don't understand why people find cultural stereotypes blown out of proportion funny. Well, I do, a little. But I don't understand why there is enough humor in that joke to make an entire movie amusing. It's like trying to make a movie out of a knock knock joke; you can't do it. It's physically impossible. The preview for 13 Going On 30 I at least understood, somewhat. It's Big, only with a female protagonist. I remember watching Big when I was ... well, about the age the kid was. And I probably would have enjoyed a movie with a girl as the lead. Hell, I might enjoy it now.
But Soul Plane... I could actually feel my IQ dropping.
Hellboy, on the other hand, was everything I had expected. Nothing like Great Cinema Of Our Time, complete with capital letters, but definitely a good night out at the movies. Ron Perlman rocks my world, and I'd forgotten how utterly cute he can be as The Beast (tm). Not specifically the Beast from the old Beauty and the Beast tv-show, which I had a crush on when it was first out and I was ... five. Or something. But just as the overlarge misfit young man who can't quite fit in and snarks off at everyone to make up for it. He's so cute. Hellboy was so cute. I wanted to give him a big hug and an even bigger pizza.
I could have done without the John Smith.. er... John... what the hell was his last name? I've forgotten it already. Except as a foil for just about everyone else the kid was utterly forgettable. But it's all right because he gave the opportunity for straight lines and the punching of cars. Plus, he was part of the Vehicle For the Redemption of Hellboy, which means he was a necessary lump.
I loved Dr. Broom. Love love love. He reminds me of a character in a novel I'm working on now. I was so sad when he died, even though I knew it was necessary simply by dint of the role he played in the movie.
Liz was kind of cute, even if she was stereotypical. And she was really cute in the way she and Hellboy interacted. "She took his picture. She took his picture! She TOOK his PICTURE!!! She took his picture." Heee. Plus there was that whole "Red, white, all men are the same" thing. And the kiss at the end was predictable yet oh so cute. I totally ship them.
Evil. Rasputin: Ugly, ranting, and I could have done without all the babble. Blonde chick: Ugly, pointless, and I didn't see what she brought to the plot. At all. I wanted her dead in the first five minutes. Actually in the first five minutes when they had that whole squicky love fest I wanted one of the Nazis to say 'Hey, would you two stop acting like American actors and get back to work' or something. Just to completely shift or ruin the mood.
Creepy doctor what turned himself into a sand-powered cyborg guy: BRILLIANT. They must have salvaged him from the comics because that was absolutely amazing. I loved it. I loved the way he moved, I loved the concept, I want one for my room.
Oh! I knew I was forgetting someone. Because really, a film like this is just a vehicle for the personalities, the quips in the script, and the special effects.
BLUE! I loved Blue. I loved the matter of fact way in which he took everything in stride (that didn't parse at all). I loved how he told Liz that "Someone needs to take care of [Hellboy], and I'm stuck in here, so..." I loved him. Love love love. I want one of him, too. I was so glad when they didn't kill him.
Tentacles. There were too many tentacles.
And on the whole, Hellboy delivered exactly what Hellboy promised, and all of that in spades. Shiny effects, cool lines, vaguely plot-like thing holding it together, and at least a few characters I'd go out for a beer with. I give it two stone key-arms up. Which would probably make me very lopsided, but hey.
And I barely squeaked through my FM deadline on that 15k word marathon thingie. Yeep. I probably shouldn't have gone to go see Hellboy but my wrists needed the break. Still, one of the more productive days I've had in a while. Actually one of the more productive few days, I hope the trend continues. Tomorrow, though, it's edit like a crazy person time. And start writing those synopses, because Sunday is query letter polishing and then... ahhh. All hell's going to break loose in my brain.
Oh! New Touching Evil tonight. It was sad and depressing. And the really really really creepy part? Sebastian Roche was back. It was weird seeing him interact with Vera Farmiga, watching them and knowing them both from Roar, originally. Especially since Roar's been rerunning at weird and random points on the Sci-Fi channel. Just... wacky. Wacky wacky fun. But I still adore Creegan. He needs a hug.
Okay. Between last night's dreams and today's working binge, I need sleep. Ta.
