[Fic] Desperado
Apr. 13th, 2009 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeTitle: Desperado
Fandom: Firefly/Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Mal, Inara, mention of Sheppard
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,132
Summary: Mal gets some really good bad news
A/N: How is it I don't have a Firefly icon? Any Firefly icons? This fic is set in the Firefly/Stargate: Atlantis mash-up wherein Inara and Shep are together most commonly known as "The Special Hell." Because that's exactly where we're going for mashing the two 'verses together. Don't worry, I'll balance it out with a Mal/'Nara fic soon enough.
It was his ship.
He knew every nook and cranny, every bolt, every scratch on the bulkhead. He knew which were the creaky panels on the floor and which cupboard door in the galley wouldn't shut all the way. He knew when people came on board, he knew when they left.
Well, ideally, he knew when people came on board and left.
He knew when she came on board. The air picked up her perfume and wafted it around the ship within minutes. Not the light and powdery smells that reminded him of all those fake socialites with their caked on makeup, the ones that gave him a headache, her scent was rich and heady. Like a fine spiced wine. Like honey liquor. He could get drunk off her scent in minutes.
He'd been sober a long time.
It was his own stupid fault, too. He should have said no the minute she laid eyes on the man. The minute they started getting into high science type stuff like gateways and portals and parallel dimensions. Never mind Kaylee's sudden hankering to go see Earth-That-Was while it was still just Earth, he should have shut that whole thing down and walked away.
But he never could refuse his womenfolk anything. And between Kaylee and 'Nara, he'd found himself going back time and time again. Didn't help much that Serenity had her needs the same as his women, and the people of Atlantis were good at fulfilling those. Just as the men of Atlantis, and one in particular, was seeming pretty good about fulfilling 'Nara's needs. Better than Mal himself, to tell the truth.
There were a number of things he should have done, and he could list them all from the moment she'd set foot on his ship and told him he'd be renting that shuttle to her. And he'd done not a one of them. Things he'd known he should have done when she left the first time, when he snatched her out from under the nose of that damned Operative. He'd let them all pass by. So he couldn't really complain when some other man took that opportunity.
She's not an opportunity, gorramit. She's a woman. A beautiful, vibrant, classy, out of his league woman. Now permanently out of his league.
"Mal."
He would never, ever get tired of hearing his name from her lips. She had a way of saying it that made it mean something, maybe something more than a washed up captain and a failed soldier.
"'Nara." He looked up, turned around. Face calm and pleasant as always, right? "You're back early." No she wasn't. She was right on time, as always.
"I wanted to see you."
Mal hated that he felt his heart trip up, do a little flip, stop dead in the air when she said that. He hated it because he knew it wasn't going to be for the reasons he wanted. There was something else. Some kind of catch.
"Something you needed? We got a job lined up next couple of days, I don't..."
"It's not a job," she smiled, hesitant, awkward. As awkward as a woman with her grace ever got, anyway. One hand up to stop any more words. "Well... It's..."
Yes? was the look he gave her, because if he said anything it would be impatient and would start a fight. He didn't want to fight. Something about the way she looked, the tone of her voice said he didn't want to start a fight right now.
She seemed to come to a decision, at least, even if she had to take a breath to say the words, whatever she'd come here to say. She'd come straight to the bridge, he realized, with enough startlement that he almost missed her next words. "John's asked me to marry him," she was saying. "And I said yes."
No...
Yes. Of course she'd said yes, why wouldn't she? Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was a fine catch. And a good man, as much as Mal wanted him to be a complete bastard. He'd spent enough time with the other captain to know he'd treat Inara right.
"Congratulations."
His voice sounded hollow, even to him. At least she didn't make a fuss. She had to know, just as he knew she wasn't there for him, that he wasn't going to be happy about this. That was the tragedy of it, they both knew. They'd known for months. They'd known at least since ...
Had he ever told her? Even remotely? He couldn't remember now. He'd meant to, he was sure. She'd cut him off.
"Mal?"
She was still there. And he hadn't said anything further, and she'd probably asked him something, and he'd missed it. As usual. He looked up at her, apologizing with his eyes even if he couldn't force the words out of his mouth. "'Nara. I'm happy for you, I really am." And he was. That was part of it, too. At least she could be happy.
"Are you..." Okay with it? No, she wouldn't ask that. "Will you be all right?" It was as blunt as they'd ever gotten. Acknowledging what made the air so thick with emotion without putting names to the emotions themselves.
"Me? Sure, I'll be fine. I mean..." He shrugged. "Can't say as I'm entirely sure your Guild'll be happy about it, him being part of a strange military organization and all, but then again, close enough to the Alliance as they probably won't mind..."
And there it was. Not quite as bad as if he'd let his mouth run off with him, but close enough. At least he hadn't used ... but he hadn't called her that for a while, now, had he.
Close enough. The stiff shoulders were back, the classy posture and aloof attitude. The air was like ice again. Ice and spicy perfume. "I've made the necessary arrangements. I'm sure you needn't concern yourself with any of it, Captain." He dropped his gaze before he did something they'd both regret. "I'll see you at dinner, then."
"Yeah." He coughed. "Shiny. We'll have ourselves a party."
It would have been appropriate, as Simon would say, to bang his fists down on the console after she left, after the door closed behind her. To start swearing or chase after her or do something else dramatic. Maybe even to start crying. That was what you were supposed to do, he guessed, when someone stabbed you in the gut like that. That was the sort of thing that was appropriate.
Mal leaned back in his chair and stared at the stars through the front window between the heads of Wash's old dinosaurs, little points of light and the vast-y blackness between.
Fandom: Firefly/Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Mal, Inara, mention of Sheppard
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,132
Summary: Mal gets some really good bad news
A/N: How is it I don't have a Firefly icon? Any Firefly icons? This fic is set in the Firefly/Stargate: Atlantis mash-up wherein Inara and Shep are together most commonly known as "The Special Hell." Because that's exactly where we're going for mashing the two 'verses together. Don't worry, I'll balance it out with a Mal/'Nara fic soon enough.
It was his ship.
He knew every nook and cranny, every bolt, every scratch on the bulkhead. He knew which were the creaky panels on the floor and which cupboard door in the galley wouldn't shut all the way. He knew when people came on board, he knew when they left.
Well, ideally, he knew when people came on board and left.
He knew when she came on board. The air picked up her perfume and wafted it around the ship within minutes. Not the light and powdery smells that reminded him of all those fake socialites with their caked on makeup, the ones that gave him a headache, her scent was rich and heady. Like a fine spiced wine. Like honey liquor. He could get drunk off her scent in minutes.
He'd been sober a long time.
It was his own stupid fault, too. He should have said no the minute she laid eyes on the man. The minute they started getting into high science type stuff like gateways and portals and parallel dimensions. Never mind Kaylee's sudden hankering to go see Earth-That-Was while it was still just Earth, he should have shut that whole thing down and walked away.
But he never could refuse his womenfolk anything. And between Kaylee and 'Nara, he'd found himself going back time and time again. Didn't help much that Serenity had her needs the same as his women, and the people of Atlantis were good at fulfilling those. Just as the men of Atlantis, and one in particular, was seeming pretty good about fulfilling 'Nara's needs. Better than Mal himself, to tell the truth.
There were a number of things he should have done, and he could list them all from the moment she'd set foot on his ship and told him he'd be renting that shuttle to her. And he'd done not a one of them. Things he'd known he should have done when she left the first time, when he snatched her out from under the nose of that damned Operative. He'd let them all pass by. So he couldn't really complain when some other man took that opportunity.
She's not an opportunity, gorramit. She's a woman. A beautiful, vibrant, classy, out of his league woman. Now permanently out of his league.
"Mal."
He would never, ever get tired of hearing his name from her lips. She had a way of saying it that made it mean something, maybe something more than a washed up captain and a failed soldier.
"'Nara." He looked up, turned around. Face calm and pleasant as always, right? "You're back early." No she wasn't. She was right on time, as always.
"I wanted to see you."
Mal hated that he felt his heart trip up, do a little flip, stop dead in the air when she said that. He hated it because he knew it wasn't going to be for the reasons he wanted. There was something else. Some kind of catch.
"Something you needed? We got a job lined up next couple of days, I don't..."
"It's not a job," she smiled, hesitant, awkward. As awkward as a woman with her grace ever got, anyway. One hand up to stop any more words. "Well... It's..."
Yes? was the look he gave her, because if he said anything it would be impatient and would start a fight. He didn't want to fight. Something about the way she looked, the tone of her voice said he didn't want to start a fight right now.
She seemed to come to a decision, at least, even if she had to take a breath to say the words, whatever she'd come here to say. She'd come straight to the bridge, he realized, with enough startlement that he almost missed her next words. "John's asked me to marry him," she was saying. "And I said yes."
No...
Yes. Of course she'd said yes, why wouldn't she? Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was a fine catch. And a good man, as much as Mal wanted him to be a complete bastard. He'd spent enough time with the other captain to know he'd treat Inara right.
"Congratulations."
His voice sounded hollow, even to him. At least she didn't make a fuss. She had to know, just as he knew she wasn't there for him, that he wasn't going to be happy about this. That was the tragedy of it, they both knew. They'd known for months. They'd known at least since ...
Had he ever told her? Even remotely? He couldn't remember now. He'd meant to, he was sure. She'd cut him off.
"Mal?"
She was still there. And he hadn't said anything further, and she'd probably asked him something, and he'd missed it. As usual. He looked up at her, apologizing with his eyes even if he couldn't force the words out of his mouth. "'Nara. I'm happy for you, I really am." And he was. That was part of it, too. At least she could be happy.
"Are you..." Okay with it? No, she wouldn't ask that. "Will you be all right?" It was as blunt as they'd ever gotten. Acknowledging what made the air so thick with emotion without putting names to the emotions themselves.
"Me? Sure, I'll be fine. I mean..." He shrugged. "Can't say as I'm entirely sure your Guild'll be happy about it, him being part of a strange military organization and all, but then again, close enough to the Alliance as they probably won't mind..."
And there it was. Not quite as bad as if he'd let his mouth run off with him, but close enough. At least he hadn't used ... but he hadn't called her that for a while, now, had he.
Close enough. The stiff shoulders were back, the classy posture and aloof attitude. The air was like ice again. Ice and spicy perfume. "I've made the necessary arrangements. I'm sure you needn't concern yourself with any of it, Captain." He dropped his gaze before he did something they'd both regret. "I'll see you at dinner, then."
"Yeah." He coughed. "Shiny. We'll have ourselves a party."
It would have been appropriate, as Simon would say, to bang his fists down on the console after she left, after the door closed behind her. To start swearing or chase after her or do something else dramatic. Maybe even to start crying. That was what you were supposed to do, he guessed, when someone stabbed you in the gut like that. That was the sort of thing that was appropriate.
Mal leaned back in his chair and stared at the stars through the front window between the heads of Wash's old dinosaurs, little points of light and the vast-y blackness between.