"Sabotage Underground Camoflage"

[kittydesade]

I saw a rant against shadesong on my writing journal's friends list. It wasn't the first time I'd seen that name running around on a friend's entry connected with ... well, something, so I decided to check her out.

Ye gods. The woman has her own little court here on LiveJournal. People are fucking strange.

I'm not even sure what to say to that, except that when you have more friends on LiveJournal than you do in real life, that's pretty sad. Excepting, of course, that the friends from LiveJournal are also the friends from real life. I have that going on, somewhat. cruelest_month and myrth_candlecat being the most blatant examples that I can think of, but there are others. Mostly it's college or high school friends. So, all I can say is, either she's one hell of a popular gal in the meat world or she really doesn't have any life to speak of. And I'm not sure if that's better or worse than the community that, rumor has it, has sprung up specifically to hate her. I'm guessing better, because if people have decided to expel their store of hatred and bile on a name from the internet? That's really sad.

So.

The American Family Association has decided to pull their poll on banning/not banning gay marriage. Because it no longer reflects their constituancy. They were apparently under the impression that they could put a poll on the internet, show it to their constituency, or membership, or whatever is the proper phrase (membership I think), tell them to vote. And that no one else would vote and it would all be nice and neat and clean.

Uh. No.

So what happened is, invariably someone who likes to know what other people are doing out in the world (gasp! shock! Yes, AFA, those do exist) got ahold of the poll. And they sent it to some of their friends, saying, here, vote here. And maybe they believed in what the AFA was trying to do, maybe not. But then those friends told their friends and it was all over from there, my friends, it was OUTTA THERE! SEEE YAA!

And now they have the balls to claim that it's a gay conspiracy. Uh, no, folks. Update on the news flash of earlier, this is the information mega-super-highway at work. You put it out on the internet. You didn't bother to password lock it, put it on a closed area of the site so that only your membership could see it, or in any way attempt to limit traffic. You opened it up to the public opinion, and the public opinion is exactly what you got. The public opinion of the internet, anyway. So if you don't want it, then don't go bloody well asking for it. Learn the ramifications and abilities of the internet before you go about trying to manipulate it for your purposes.

Wankers.

You're so wonderful, apple of everyone's eye
You're so clever
multimillion dollar smile
The world is your oyster and pearls are fun
Share them with everyone that you love
And you love everyone always all of the time

So, I dug out my Japanese books. Why? Because dammit, if I'm going to get this job I might as well do it well, and I haven't spoken any Japanese in years. Spanish I think I'm pretty okay on, I just need to call my mom or my aunt and have them chatter at me for an hour or two. And remember not to talk in French. Japanese? Hoo boy.

And I was a good girl today. I wrote stories, I did my exercises. I didn't do a lick of editing, but I promised myself that I'd wait until Sunday to actually resume that in earnest. Because in February it's almost entirely editing month, and sending query letters back and forth to my aunts and their friends month. She thinks I can submit my novels cold, that's what I'm going to do. Goddess help me, but that's what I'm going to do. After I submit some short stories, but no rejections or acceptances will be in by the time I write the query letters, so that's pretty much immaterial.

I'm not sure if it's coming down from the panic-stricken days of earlier in the week, or that I'm just getting used to having victory thrust into my view so often. But I'm growing more determined... and more bitchy as I do so, but that's fine. Maybe that's necessary, I don't know. I do know that a thick, very thick, nay, armor plated hide is necessary to survive as an author. That's fine.

Missing link You eat your own, dear
Bird of prey you can't control

I do. I am. I used to have 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks as my theme song, now I take on Superhero by KMFDM and the lovely Lucia. It's only fitting. If my heroine and role model is Eleanor d'Aquitaine, then I should bloody well act the part, shouldn't I? I'm Eleanor, and I can look at anything. But I'm not. I'm the Kitty Cat, the Jaguar Cat, once sacred to hundreds upon thousands, and all places and people are alike to me. A cat may look at a queen, and this cat will become the queen.

Back to the dancing, to sculpt my body and renew my grace. I was graceful, once. I danced and it made me feel alive, it made me feel beautiful. I will dance again, and it will get me through the times of rejection slips piling up by my computer desk. I'm learning all the languages I once knew, and the better yet, if I do get this job I may be speaking them at least somewhat regularly. And then I can learn some new ones. Russian, Italian, or German. Which one, which one, which one. I want to learn all three by the end of my life, and Cantonese.

Regal, elegent, you are bewitching and wild
Fifteen minutes a lifetime they just don't apply
Shudder to think it could ever be true
That anyone else is as lovely as you
You bear the name and the lineage that we desire

I have encouragement. I have prospects, I have education beyond what many ever achieve. I've walked in the footsteps of kings in three different countries. I speak more languages than the average American learns in a lifetime, I believe. I am learned, I am wise, and I am strong. I can do what I set out to do, and be damned to anyone who says otherwise.

You're a superhero
Demigod
No one anywhere anytime any which way but You
If the mirrors speaks the truth We must aspire and work
Harder to be like You
'Cause anything goes when You're a star