"Goblin lead them up and down"
Jan. 20th, 2004 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeEvery once in a while I say to myself, self! Stop wanking on LiveJournal!
And then the emotional rollercoaster takes another downswing into the Bog of Eternal Depression and my selves start arguing with each other and telling me that it's perfectly all right, wanking is what a journal is for, and then I take a nap and have weird dreams about fourteen year old cops with tiny hands and cars that fold into a small pouch that can fit onto a bicycle and bodies showing up at my apartment in DC and it's just all one big mess.
Maybe I can just not sleep. That'd be good.
Maybe I should go to a shrink and get put on medication, except I know the exact set of factors that's led to this bout of bipolarism. And it's not anything that medication is going to help. I need to get off my ass and do the mailing out of things tomorrow like I said I was going to. Only from the looks of things it might be more of mailing out query letters and requests for Writer's Guidelines. Which is okay. Because after tomorrow (or Friday, at the latest, or maybe just two big mailings) I will go straight into edit mode and do nothing but work on my three novels for this month and editing my five novels from last month. And it will stay that way until I have ten responses. Auntie B said some of my novels are saleable just from me as I am now, with no publishing credit, so that's what I'm going to do. Dammit.
I'll steal a phrase I decided I like from a comment. Some days I have faith, and some days she runs out of the house at dawn with my wallet and car keys. The phrase is funny, but it's still true. Anyway, I can't afford to be depressed tomorrow. Too much mailing to get done, and I'm going to try to do it before the mailman gets here the first time. And then I set up a schedule of when, roughly, everyone should reply. Woo. Fun.
OH CRAP!
Hah. It's less cheery but it's more productive. I completely forgot I have a goddamn temp place interview tomorrow. At 2 in the afternoon, so it's not that bad, but crap. Okay, if I can get everything together by the time I leave for the interview, I should be all right. AAAAUGH! Ugh. Maybe I should just put that off till Thursday. I'll see what happens tomorrow. It never rains but it pours. Oh well. At least if I get one of those temp jobs I'll have money coming. Right? And it's clerical, so... as long as it's not customer service. I hate ... argh. Hell. I'll take any job I can get, these days. At least it's close.
Okay, back to writing fiction. I'll try and get a jump start on the query letters tomorrow, get up early. Hoo boy.
And then the emotional rollercoaster takes another downswing into the Bog of Eternal Depression and my selves start arguing with each other and telling me that it's perfectly all right, wanking is what a journal is for, and then I take a nap and have weird dreams about fourteen year old cops with tiny hands and cars that fold into a small pouch that can fit onto a bicycle and bodies showing up at my apartment in DC and it's just all one big mess.
Maybe I can just not sleep. That'd be good.
Maybe I should go to a shrink and get put on medication, except I know the exact set of factors that's led to this bout of bipolarism. And it's not anything that medication is going to help. I need to get off my ass and do the mailing out of things tomorrow like I said I was going to. Only from the looks of things it might be more of mailing out query letters and requests for Writer's Guidelines. Which is okay. Because after tomorrow (or Friday, at the latest, or maybe just two big mailings) I will go straight into edit mode and do nothing but work on my three novels for this month and editing my five novels from last month. And it will stay that way until I have ten responses. Auntie B said some of my novels are saleable just from me as I am now, with no publishing credit, so that's what I'm going to do. Dammit.
I'll steal a phrase I decided I like from a comment. Some days I have faith, and some days she runs out of the house at dawn with my wallet and car keys. The phrase is funny, but it's still true. Anyway, I can't afford to be depressed tomorrow. Too much mailing to get done, and I'm going to try to do it before the mailman gets here the first time. And then I set up a schedule of when, roughly, everyone should reply. Woo. Fun.
OH CRAP!
Hah. It's less cheery but it's more productive. I completely forgot I have a goddamn temp place interview tomorrow. At 2 in the afternoon, so it's not that bad, but crap. Okay, if I can get everything together by the time I leave for the interview, I should be all right. AAAAUGH! Ugh. Maybe I should just put that off till Thursday. I'll see what happens tomorrow. It never rains but it pours. Oh well. At least if I get one of those temp jobs I'll have money coming. Right? And it's clerical, so... as long as it's not customer service. I hate ... argh. Hell. I'll take any job I can get, these days. At least it's close.
Okay, back to writing fiction. I'll try and get a jump start on the query letters tomorrow, get up early. Hoo boy.
