[Fic] The Angel of Thursday
Oct. 6th, 2008 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeTitle: The Angel of Thursday Part 2: Loved or Feared
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Ruby/Castiel
Word Count: 2,458+
Rating: PG
Summary: Entirely a justification for one of the most unlikely pairings ever.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
She seemed to relax after that. Satisfied, or something close enough to it that she stopped moving and standing as though she would run out the door at any moment. He felt his shoulders relax, which was something of a curious sensation, and tilted his head a little to consider her. She hadn't harmed either of the Winchester boys yet, which was somewhat surprising given her long history with them (relatively, for a demon) and though she most likely had encouraged the use of Sam's powers she had not encouraged him to use them for personal gain. Which was, Castiel suspected, the biggest reason why he had been sent here to help Dean steer Sam to a better path instead of simply to kill the boy.
Did that mean he had a demon at least partially to thank for not sending the world down a path from which there was no recovery?
"What."
He drew back just a little. She had read or seen something on his face, and he wasn't used to humans being able to do that let alone a demon. Or perhaps, again, it was the fact that she was a demon. "Why are you helping Sam Winchester?"
"For my own reasons," she folded her arms over her chest. Evidently a truce did not mean full disclosure, or even any kind of disclosure. "Why are you helping his big brother?"
"Because God commanded it."
Her expression was at first disbelieving, then scornful. "You angels. Don't you ever think for yourselves?"
Castiel's eyebrows arched. "You know nothing about us," he said, but it was placid and bland. He had no wish to spark a confrontation. "Yes, we do think for ourselves. That includes choosing to obey the commands we are given."
"You mean you go where He tells you to go, you hurt what he tells you to Hurt, and you don't give a damn who, or how, or why."
He hadn't been looking for a confrontation but evidently he'd found one. She took one step towards him, then a second, and by the end of it she was practically jabbing her finger in his chest. He looked down at her finger, then looked over at her. "What do you want me to do? Disobey?" That came out perhaps a little sharper than he had expected. "You know the fate of those who lose their faith."
That hadn't been what he'd meant.
"So you're afraid of him too," she said before he could correct himself, pouncing on his words like a hungry cat. "You obey because you're scared of the consequences? You don't want to join us in the basement?"
"I obey because I have faith," he told her. Still with an edge to his voice, though it faded as he realized something. A possibly very significant something, although the depth and nature of the significance of it eluded him for the moment. "I obey out of love. You obey out of fear. You obey because of what will happen if you don't, so do I... but you fear what will happen to you if you do not do as you're told, whereas..."
Ruby looked as though she wanted to take a step back but she didn't. Possibly because it would have been somewhat ridiculous. They were circling each other like two warring creatures which, he allowed, they were. But this was a truce. It was all right to stop circling.
There was a rustle of wings in the background. A sign of nervousness? Perhaps he shouldn't be talking with demons. Especially not demons who were particularly close, in all the wrong senses of the word.
"I don't obey anyone," Ruby said, and he knew she was lying. He still didn't know why. "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Don't you be sad for me, angel. Don't you dare."
He touched her cheek. Humans were such tactile creatures; angels had none of the customary senses that human bodies did. Angels perceived things in different ways, and when in human form... sight, sound were not helping him. Too little information. Touch would not help him either, he reminded himself, suddenly seeing where he was going wrong, too late to stop her. Her breath was hot on his mouth and tasted, predictably, of brimstone. Sweat and miniscule particles of grit between his human lips. It was a contrast that jarred him, the physical and tangible with the spiritual bliss. Demons were far closer to the physical; it was simpler and coarser and easier for the mortals to understand. Perhaps that was why they were winning.
This didn't feel like losing. It felt like heat, intimacy that was both too close for comfort and inviting a kind of comfort he had never even begun to contemplate wanting, let alone reaching for it. Stories of what had happened to their older, earlier brethren flew through his mind. Stories of them and their half-mortal children. Easy to see, now, why they had fallen. But Ruby was a demon, and rather than make a conflict of it he put his hands on her shoulders and gently moved her away just far enough to put inches of air between them. Inches of air to stand in for the aeons of separation of heaven and hell. It would do.
"Do you still have no inclination to do me harm?" Bitter, and twisting his words of earlier, and it didn't anger him. It didn't even ruffle his metaphysical, metaphorical feathers.
He asked, instead, because he was curious. "Why would you do that?"
"Why would I..." she laughed. It was a jagged sound, the sort of laugh he would expect from a demon, but there was too much that was wounded in it for him to take it without consideration. "Why would I kiss you?"
"Yes."
And her mouth worked, as though she didn't have an answer for that or at least not one that she considered adequate enough to tell him. "You needn't answer if you don't want to."
"Jesus!" It was reflexive, as was the instinct to call her out on her blasphemy, except she didn't mean it in any way but the casual transgression of the time so he didn't say anything. "What is it with you guys? Are you all this fucking pretentious or is it just the ones who come down and lower themselves to walk amongst..."
"I don't consider it lowering..." he started to say, but she was talking over him and hadn't heard.
"... the likes of mortal men. I thought pride was supposed to be a sin, or doesn't it count if you were born upstairs like the rest of your..."
"Ruby."
Glass rattled behind lampshades; lights flickered wild and panicked. She stopped.
"I'm sorry."
She blinked.
They stared at each other as the minutes ticked by until she had figured out that he didn't feel the need to follow that up with anything. Then, to his bemusement, she went to the window and opened the shades.
"What are you doing?"
"Just making sure the moon hasn't turned to blood and fallen into the ocean or something." Ruby snorted, closing the blinds again and coming back into the room. "An angel apologizing to a demon. That's got to be a first."
"It isn't."
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Ruby/Castiel
Word Count: 2,458+
Rating: PG
Summary: Entirely a justification for one of the most unlikely pairings ever.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
She seemed to relax after that. Satisfied, or something close enough to it that she stopped moving and standing as though she would run out the door at any moment. He felt his shoulders relax, which was something of a curious sensation, and tilted his head a little to consider her. She hadn't harmed either of the Winchester boys yet, which was somewhat surprising given her long history with them (relatively, for a demon) and though she most likely had encouraged the use of Sam's powers she had not encouraged him to use them for personal gain. Which was, Castiel suspected, the biggest reason why he had been sent here to help Dean steer Sam to a better path instead of simply to kill the boy.
Did that mean he had a demon at least partially to thank for not sending the world down a path from which there was no recovery?
"What."
He drew back just a little. She had read or seen something on his face, and he wasn't used to humans being able to do that let alone a demon. Or perhaps, again, it was the fact that she was a demon. "Why are you helping Sam Winchester?"
"For my own reasons," she folded her arms over her chest. Evidently a truce did not mean full disclosure, or even any kind of disclosure. "Why are you helping his big brother?"
"Because God commanded it."
Her expression was at first disbelieving, then scornful. "You angels. Don't you ever think for yourselves?"
Castiel's eyebrows arched. "You know nothing about us," he said, but it was placid and bland. He had no wish to spark a confrontation. "Yes, we do think for ourselves. That includes choosing to obey the commands we are given."
"You mean you go where He tells you to go, you hurt what he tells you to Hurt, and you don't give a damn who, or how, or why."
He hadn't been looking for a confrontation but evidently he'd found one. She took one step towards him, then a second, and by the end of it she was practically jabbing her finger in his chest. He looked down at her finger, then looked over at her. "What do you want me to do? Disobey?" That came out perhaps a little sharper than he had expected. "You know the fate of those who lose their faith."
That hadn't been what he'd meant.
"So you're afraid of him too," she said before he could correct himself, pouncing on his words like a hungry cat. "You obey because you're scared of the consequences? You don't want to join us in the basement?"
"I obey because I have faith," he told her. Still with an edge to his voice, though it faded as he realized something. A possibly very significant something, although the depth and nature of the significance of it eluded him for the moment. "I obey out of love. You obey out of fear. You obey because of what will happen if you don't, so do I... but you fear what will happen to you if you do not do as you're told, whereas..."
Ruby looked as though she wanted to take a step back but she didn't. Possibly because it would have been somewhat ridiculous. They were circling each other like two warring creatures which, he allowed, they were. But this was a truce. It was all right to stop circling.
There was a rustle of wings in the background. A sign of nervousness? Perhaps he shouldn't be talking with demons. Especially not demons who were particularly close, in all the wrong senses of the word.
"I don't obey anyone," Ruby said, and he knew she was lying. He still didn't know why. "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Don't you be sad for me, angel. Don't you dare."
He touched her cheek. Humans were such tactile creatures; angels had none of the customary senses that human bodies did. Angels perceived things in different ways, and when in human form... sight, sound were not helping him. Too little information. Touch would not help him either, he reminded himself, suddenly seeing where he was going wrong, too late to stop her. Her breath was hot on his mouth and tasted, predictably, of brimstone. Sweat and miniscule particles of grit between his human lips. It was a contrast that jarred him, the physical and tangible with the spiritual bliss. Demons were far closer to the physical; it was simpler and coarser and easier for the mortals to understand. Perhaps that was why they were winning.
This didn't feel like losing. It felt like heat, intimacy that was both too close for comfort and inviting a kind of comfort he had never even begun to contemplate wanting, let alone reaching for it. Stories of what had happened to their older, earlier brethren flew through his mind. Stories of them and their half-mortal children. Easy to see, now, why they had fallen. But Ruby was a demon, and rather than make a conflict of it he put his hands on her shoulders and gently moved her away just far enough to put inches of air between them. Inches of air to stand in for the aeons of separation of heaven and hell. It would do.
"Do you still have no inclination to do me harm?" Bitter, and twisting his words of earlier, and it didn't anger him. It didn't even ruffle his metaphysical, metaphorical feathers.
He asked, instead, because he was curious. "Why would you do that?"
"Why would I..." she laughed. It was a jagged sound, the sort of laugh he would expect from a demon, but there was too much that was wounded in it for him to take it without consideration. "Why would I kiss you?"
"Yes."
And her mouth worked, as though she didn't have an answer for that or at least not one that she considered adequate enough to tell him. "You needn't answer if you don't want to."
"Jesus!" It was reflexive, as was the instinct to call her out on her blasphemy, except she didn't mean it in any way but the casual transgression of the time so he didn't say anything. "What is it with you guys? Are you all this fucking pretentious or is it just the ones who come down and lower themselves to walk amongst..."
"I don't consider it lowering..." he started to say, but she was talking over him and hadn't heard.
"... the likes of mortal men. I thought pride was supposed to be a sin, or doesn't it count if you were born upstairs like the rest of your..."
"Ruby."
Glass rattled behind lampshades; lights flickered wild and panicked. She stopped.
"I'm sorry."
She blinked.
They stared at each other as the minutes ticked by until she had figured out that he didn't feel the need to follow that up with anything. Then, to his bemusement, she went to the window and opened the shades.
"What are you doing?"
"Just making sure the moon hasn't turned to blood and fallen into the ocean or something." Ruby snorted, closing the blinds again and coming back into the room. "An angel apologizing to a demon. That's got to be a first."
"It isn't."