![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeFirst of all, thank you to my Yuletide giftee ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nenena for that bouncy comment on a day when I really needed it. It was a pleasure and a joy to write that fic, and as many on my f-list will probably tell you, writing the less popular point of view has turned into something of my calling. So, that was fun. Also on a purely selfish and hormonal level, Duryodhana is teh hawt. Why yes, yes he is.
Second of all, OMG SGM readers. I have not forgotten youI've just been avoiding you out of guilt I've just been ten kinds of distracted. The last five (five? Probably, 2k per section should be enough, roughly) sections should go up tonight and tomorrow. And then at some point in all the hustle and bustle I will archive it on my website and put up that link. And then, if I get really lucky and have the free time, there may be manips. Or, you know, someone else could do art/manips. Or not. Your choice. My dear Nic and I have decided to make it a goal of the New Year to do the first 20 or so fics on our Big Damn SGA list, a lot of which involve Michael in some way shape or form. So you have that to look forward to as well.
I'm still incredibly sick of packing and somewhat amazed at how down I feel despite not having to go to the job of hell ever again. Not quite sure why that is. I think it's just because I have to move, then settle in to a new city, get a bank account (or make sure Fifth Third has branches in Asheville, as I hear they've acquired some in NC lately) and then go apartment hunting. I have to worry about getting paid enough to get an apartment on my own for the first couple of months, since I'm the only one with a job waiting for me. I have to worry about my aunt, and how much of her duties I need to take over due to her health and whether that jives or not with how much of her duties she thinks I need to take over. My family is known for strong, independant, stubborn-minded women. We do not go down easily. And while I am aware (thanks be to the Goddess) that it is slow-progressing MS, it is still MS. This is not curable. This is something she will have to live with for the rest of her probably shortened life. And that fucking sucks. And...
And in a way, I think a part of the nervousness and depression and fear is going to be going back to a place I spent a lot of time in as a child. Seeing all these people who were always kind and gentle and strong and good in their own way -- living in Asheville over the summer was kind of like living with one foot in a fantasy world. There were handicrafts, and the magic that is making something with your hands. There were soft-spoken kind women and women who taught me how to be strong. There was M, heretofor to be dubbed the Absent-Minded Elf Prince, I think, because seriously. The man's a long-lost Sidhe. Or some other sort of fairy that wanders through life with his head halfway in a dream, because that's how he is. I love him to bits, and. And I'm glad I'm moving down there.
But there's also the element of, they're all getting older. It will fade, they will live and pass on as people do, and coming back there as an adult and with my aunt having a debilitating, progressing disease, I have to deal with that as an adult. With mortality, as an adult. In a world that I never wanted mortality to touch. And I think that will be rather hard.
No sense in borrowing trouble where it isn't yet.
Here's a strange thing for you; I realized a few days ago at one of many holiday parties that I think of myself as 28 when... I'm actually not. I'm 27. I've been thinking of myself as 28 for about two months now at least. I have no idea why I've been bumping my age up a year. I won't be 28 for months. Does that seem right to you?
There were probably more rambles here, but most of my thoughts these days have been circling around a) packing, c) various and sundry holiday and going away events, d) administrative (bank, loans, change of address) bullshit, e) omg so tired. No, there's no hidden item there, I'm just that tired.
But. I have a bag of holding. I have my toys and things up on ebay. I have a good chunk of the basement packed, the office packed, and my sewing crap packed. My mini painting stuff is generally packed up anyway. As is my sewing stuff, actually, but I've packed and sealed away the things that were leaking out all over the area. I am moving, not to an area where I will be a stranger and not know anyone, but to a job I know I can do in an environment where I know nearly everyone working there already, a place where I already have friends and family who will be glad to see me. I will be working full time which will help me feel more like a proper adult, and having actual weekends. I will still be writing, still be in an area that encourages me to write even if I have a little less time to do it, and I will be loved.
And this is a good thing.
nenena for that bouncy comment on a day when I really needed it. It was a pleasure and a joy to write that fic, and as many on my f-list will probably tell you, writing the less popular point of view has turned into something of my calling. So, that was fun. Also on a purely selfish and hormonal level, Duryodhana is teh hawt. Why yes, yes he is.Second of all, OMG SGM readers. I have not forgotten you
I'm still incredibly sick of packing and somewhat amazed at how down I feel despite not having to go to the job of hell ever again. Not quite sure why that is. I think it's just because I have to move, then settle in to a new city, get a bank account (or make sure Fifth Third has branches in Asheville, as I hear they've acquired some in NC lately) and then go apartment hunting. I have to worry about getting paid enough to get an apartment on my own for the first couple of months, since I'm the only one with a job waiting for me. I have to worry about my aunt, and how much of her duties I need to take over due to her health and whether that jives or not with how much of her duties she thinks I need to take over. My family is known for strong, independant, stubborn-minded women. We do not go down easily. And while I am aware (thanks be to the Goddess) that it is slow-progressing MS, it is still MS. This is not curable. This is something she will have to live with for the rest of her probably shortened life. And that fucking sucks. And...
And in a way, I think a part of the nervousness and depression and fear is going to be going back to a place I spent a lot of time in as a child. Seeing all these people who were always kind and gentle and strong and good in their own way -- living in Asheville over the summer was kind of like living with one foot in a fantasy world. There were handicrafts, and the magic that is making something with your hands. There were soft-spoken kind women and women who taught me how to be strong. There was M, heretofor to be dubbed the Absent-Minded Elf Prince, I think, because seriously. The man's a long-lost Sidhe. Or some other sort of fairy that wanders through life with his head halfway in a dream, because that's how he is. I love him to bits, and. And I'm glad I'm moving down there.
But there's also the element of, they're all getting older. It will fade, they will live and pass on as people do, and coming back there as an adult and with my aunt having a debilitating, progressing disease, I have to deal with that as an adult. With mortality, as an adult. In a world that I never wanted mortality to touch. And I think that will be rather hard.
No sense in borrowing trouble where it isn't yet.
Here's a strange thing for you; I realized a few days ago at one of many holiday parties that I think of myself as 28 when... I'm actually not. I'm 27. I've been thinking of myself as 28 for about two months now at least. I have no idea why I've been bumping my age up a year. I won't be 28 for months. Does that seem right to you?
There were probably more rambles here, but most of my thoughts these days have been circling around a) packing, c) various and sundry holiday and going away events, d) administrative (bank, loans, change of address) bullshit, e) omg so tired. No, there's no hidden item there, I'm just that tired.
But. I have a bag of holding. I have my toys and things up on ebay. I have a good chunk of the basement packed, the office packed, and my sewing crap packed. My mini painting stuff is generally packed up anyway. As is my sewing stuff, actually, but I've packed and sealed away the things that were leaking out all over the area. I am moving, not to an area where I will be a stranger and not know anyone, but to a job I know I can do in an environment where I know nearly everyone working there already, a place where I already have friends and family who will be glad to see me. I will be working full time which will help me feel more like a proper adult, and having actual weekends. I will still be writing, still be in an area that encourages me to write even if I have a little less time to do it, and I will be loved.
And this is a good thing.