[Nano] Stained Glass Masquerade

[kittydesade]

She was hitting harder than she meant to, but because it was Ronon it was hard to tell. He threw her a questioning glance when he should have been watching his own defense and she cracked him a good solid hit to the ribs, dropping him to his knees.

"I am sorry," she apologized, with a rueful little smile and a hand extended to help him up, which he accepted. "I have been… out of sorts, today, apparently."

"I noticed," Ronon chuckled, not wincing in the slightest although she couldn't tell whether that was from bravado or because he legitimately had worse. "Something on your mind?"

"Well… yes, actually." But she was hesitant to admit it, and tried to shrug it off. "Did you want to go again, or…"

"Something dark-haired and handsome with a tendency to get into trouble?"

Teyla flushed. "Well." Um.

"Thought so."

The sticks were tossed aside and set aside, and by mutual and unspoken decision they went and sat against the window in the practice room. Teyla stared out at the city for a moment while she tried to think of how to explain it to Ronon. Without bringing up Michael. Even had Michael not been a security risk, Ronon had never understood why it bothered her to lie to their Wraith prisoner turned test subject, and she didn't want to have that argument with him again. Not now. Not when she was already fighting with John.

"It is not what you think," she started, with a look and a smile that said she very clearly knew what he was thinking, or at least giving the impression of thinking. "He is concerned for my welfare, and… I believe his concerns are unfounded."

That wiped the smile from Ronon's face. "Concerned for your safety?"

"When I was on the mainland," she clarified. "I think he wonders if my judgment is impaired because of… recent events."

There had certainly been enough of those for any one person in the team to wonder if any teammate's judgment was impaired. Even Ronon, not that he would admit it. Teyla thought she loved him a little for that, for his stoic simplicity and absolute loyalty. For most things, she could turn to him to be her rock to lean upon. For this, not so much.

"That's not why he's upset with you. He's upset because of something between the two of you, something to do with all the…" Ronon shrugged. "Tension that you two have."

Teyla thought about that for a moment, looking down. She didn't want to think it, let alone say it. "Do you think he is…"

"Jealous? Yeah."

Well, she might not have had to say it, but hearing Ronon say it didn't make it any better. Mixed feelings, too mixed, irritation and flushing, girlish pleasure. Relief at having it confirmed, confusion overtop of awkward wonder because if he was jealous of Michael, then did that mean…

"There is no one for him to be jealous of," she said, trying not to make it sound insistent. It was no more and no less than the truth. "I have no interests in anyone at this time, and if he wanted…" She looked up at Ronon. "Why would he not just tell me?"

Ronon sighed. "I don't know. Maybe he thinks it's a superior officer thing. Maybe he's afraid of getting involved with someone who goes out and risks their lives every day, the same way he does."

Good reasons, both of them. Teyla sighed. "That does not make it any better."

"No, it doesn't. Doesn't mean he's wrong, either."

She nodded. It must be his choice, or it wouldn't… but sometimes it frustrated her. He could be so overprotective, they both could, but most of the time Ronon at least could be made to see reason, that she was capable of doing many of the same things they were, as far as their training and skills overlapped. Sheppard's need to keep her safe appeared at random, and forcefully.

"If he is jealous, then he should say so. And if he does not say anything, then he does not have the right to lecture me on who I do or do not involve myself with."

Ronon smiled slightly. "I think that's the way it's supposed to work."

"But it does not always work that way." Statement, not a question, and with a rueful smile of her own.

"No."

She tilted her head slightly at him. "How did it work for you?"

"You mean, was I as bad as Sheppard's being?" he laughed. She smiled a little wryly, herself. It wasn't what she had meant to ask, but it was a good enough question. "Not really. But things were probably simpler for us than they are for you two."

Teyla nodded slightly. Sighed. "I do not know what to do about it. If he had said something before, perhaps, yes. But things are complicated now, and I do not think either of us is in a position to begin something …"

"Something you can finish." Ronon nodded. One hand rubbed lightly over her shoulder in wordless sympathy, and Teyla smiled wearily back. It did feel good to be able to talk with him, even if she felt a little guilty about not being able to tell him everything.

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for another few moments. Eventually she did lean forward and hug him tightly, maybe clinging just a little although neither of them would admit that, resting her cheek on his broad shoulder. The big brother she sometimes wished she had.

Again, by mutual decision, neither of them went back to sparring. Instead they sat there for a little while longer and then Ronon excused himself quietly for a run. To talk to John, really, she thought. Hopefully John would keep their secret and not send Ronon running back to her shouting and angry about Michael.



After the argument, though, even as things were cooling down, she thought it might be longer than she wanted before she got back to the now-forbidden quadrant of the continent to see Michael. By the time she returned there he might be gone, have moved on, off-planet somehow. By whatever means he had used to get there.

And so it was with more than a little relief that she wandered into the corridor and found the rooms still appearing as though they had been lived in recently, if not as recently as earlier that morning.

"Michael?"

He wasn't in the kitchen. Of course he wasn't, he had no need for a kitchen when she wasn't there. He wasn't in the bedroom, and she wondered just how much sense that made or didn't made. He'd had a nightmare. Did he sleep often? Did he use the bedroom for resting even if he didn't, strictly speaking, need to sleep? Did he lounge or read there or meditate and was he standing right behind her right now? Of course he was.

"Hello, Teyla."

She turned. He was smiling, looking a little more smug than she would have liked but, really, since she hadn't been perceptive enough to notice him walking up behind her it might have been deserved.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, before she could say anything.

The answer might have been simple but actually saying it was less easy. "I came to see you." And hopefully he wouldn't ask why or to what purpose. She wasn't sure, herself, and hadn't yet gotten to the point where she would simply come out and say that she had wanted to see him.

"Hmm."

And now neither of them knew what to say. The silence that stretched between them was awkward, and familiar. She had had such silences with Sheppard. It didn't seem right or fair that she should have such silences with Michael.

"How are you getting …"

"How did you get…"

They started talking at the same time. It was almost comedic. He smiled a little and gestured that she should go first. Teyla tried not to blush.

"How are you getting along here?" she asked when she thought she could speak without stammering, quietly, with a slight smile. "Do you need anything."

"I'm all right," he shrugged a little. "How did you get here?"

"I agreed to accompany some of the botanists on an expedition several miles to the east." It had taken her the better part of a couple of hours to hike over, but she had told them she wanted to go explore, that she might not be back for a little while.

He tilted his head slightly, gave her a quizzical look. "Should I …"

"I do not think they will discover you," she added quickly. "They are encamped already and likely to be there for at least a couple of days while they gather sufficient specimens to examine, but they are not interested in exploring the forbidden zone."

Michael nodded, turning that over in his head. Neighbors for a little while, but no one who was likely to pose a threat. Scientists, and ones who were most likely engrossed in their studies. She watched him assess the threat and deem it unworthy of further thought.

"I can only stay an hour or two," she said, a little awkwardly. "They will miss me if I am gone overnight."

He looked as though he were waiting for something, or perhaps debating something with himself.

"Then stay," he said, after a moment. "Come, let's talk…"

They did.