[Fic] Policy of Truth
Sep. 15th, 2006 08:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeTitle: Policy of Truth (2/2)
Fandom: The Covenant
Characters: Pogue, Caleb
Word Count: 1,364 words
Rating: PG
Summary: Caleb and Pogue deal with the aftermath of some discoveries and have several conversations at once.
Thunder cracked outside and for all that they'd been talking, Caleb had really expected to fall asleep first. And now that he had a warm and snoring weight on half his chest and one arm, funny how he didn't really feel sleepy.
The rain made a soothing lullaby against the window. All the lights in the room were still on. His mother would look in and he didn't know what she'd think. At least they'd kept their clothes on, this time.
They'd talked for a while. Caleb didn't really swing that way and even though they'd kissed again, long enough that time slid away and he felt that warmth somewhere between a slow burn and a sudden spark igniting in his chest. He was still pretty sure he didn't swing that way. Pogue was stretched out against him, one arm thrown around his waist, and all he could think about was worrying what happened when his friend left the house and was on his own again.
"You've been on your own for so long you forgot what it's like to rely on people," Caleb told his sleeping friend, but it wasn't all that accurate anyway, and he knew it. Hell, it might have been more accurate for Caleb than for Pogue, but he wasn't sure about that either. They'd never been entirely alone. They'd also never been entirely with anyone but the Covenant since they were thirteen.
Summer camp. Caleb thought about summer camp, about discovering things about themselves and tried to remember if Pogue had ever shown any signs of fooling around with another boy. All they'd mostly talked about was girls, the camp counselors, their powers. Normal boy stuff. Normal boy with supernatural powers stuff.
But, obviously, there had been someone. He hadn't gotten that experience from his own imagination and Caleb flushed to think of what that experience had done to him. He could feel his body's interest in a repeat performance. No, he told it firmly. Not now. Not with Pogue acting weird, not with him not even knowing what this was going to mean for both of them. Not. Now. Nor was he about to relieve the tension, though, so he'd have to lie back and bear it till it went away.
He leaned back and tried to slide down on the bed without waking his friend, but it didn't work. Pogue stirred, blinked. Sat up.
"Whatimeizzit?"
"Late." Caleb pulled him back down, shivering with the strangeness. "It's late. Go back to sleep."
Pogue blinked at him. "Asleep? I fell asleep."
"Yeah, you fell asleep."
He tried to sit up again, and Caleb pushed him back down. Grinned. Pogue eyed him with a slowly-spreading grin of his own and tried to sit up again, only to get pushed back down.
Before he quite grasped the potential consequences of what he was doing Caleb had started a wrestling match, both of them trying to take each other in opposite directions. It was something more normal, and normal was welcome right now.
The floor was not. Caleb's shoulder hit, along with Pogue's cheek.
"Ow."
"Crap."
Caleb giggled. "You okay?"
"Yeah…" Pogue's hand felt along his jaw, making a detour on Caleb's shoulder to push himself up. "It's not funny!"
He might have been more convinced if his friend hadn't been trying not to laugh, as well. "Uh-huh." Caleb sat up. "Get back on the bed, you…"
Pogue was giving him a smirk.
"You know I didn't mean that!" he flushed. "Get back on the bed, you're not going home tonight. You're exhausted, and you're obviously not thinking clearly."
"Obviously." The smirk hadn't gone away, but Pogue clambered back on the bed and stretched out, giving him a look that should have been accompanied by waggling eyebrows and some cheesy pick-up line. Thank god, he refrained.
Caleb stood, arms folded over his chest, keeping off the bed for a second. "Why did you do that, anyway?"
The smile dropped away, painfully quick. "Because I wanted to." Just like that, the barriers were back up, the defensive and almost challenging posture with his shoulder back and his head cocked at the angle of arrogance. "Why? Can't tell me you didn't enjoy it."
For a second he felt like smacking his old friend. He crawled up onto the bed, stretched out next to him but didn't touch him. "You went for five years without telling me any of this, without…" He wasn't ready to talk about Pogue's attraction to him just yet, not when talking about it would make it more real than he wanted to face. "And that's how you tell me you're bi, you …"
Pogue smirked, licked his lips. Caleb punched him lightly in the arm.
"You didn't have to do that."
He looked down, hair falling over his face. "Yeah, I know. Sorry."
Caleb frowned. "What's going on with you? One second, I got my old friend back, the guy I thought I knew, the next second you're acting like I'm some guy you're trying to pick up in a bar. Am I that hard to talk to about this?" Never mind the fact that he was trying not to freak out himself, talking to Pogue about what just happened.
"It's not that, man." Pogue's head came back against the headboard with a soft thud. "Hell, I don't know why I did that. I wanted to. That's about as clear as I got with it. It's just, the past few weeks have pretty much been hell. I don't like what's going on with me and Kate. I can't stand watching what's going on with you and Sarah. And, what, is this what the rest of our lives is supposed to be like?"
He shook his head, and it wasn't as hard as he'd expected to put his arm back around his friend's shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe it gets easier to tell them."
"You ever hear about when your parents… when your Dad told your Mom?"
Caleb stiffened, just a bit.
"Sorry."
"It's okay." He shook his head. "But no. I don't know how they worked it out. I guess we just have to figure on eventually finding someone we can tell everything to, someone who won't freak out or hate us for it." That might have come out more bitter than he meant.
Pogue's hand came to rest over his chest. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but it would have been hard him to make any of the usual gestures of camaraderie, he supposed. Still, this was how it had started.
"Yeah," he was saying. "I'm just not sure we're that lucky."
Caleb snorted. He could sympathize, but that wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear right now. He didn't even want to talk about it anymore right now. This was going to have to come one step at a time, one day at a time. Both figuring out what to do about Sarah, if there was anything that could be done to save them, and what to do about Pogue now that he knew.
The two thoughts collided together, forming words on his lips. "It's easier when you don't have to tell, isn't it."
A long silence followed by an answer. "Yeah."
"Yeah."
They lay there together long enough that Pogue's arm slid from his chest down to rest over his waist. Not what Caleb had meant, but he was tired and confused and didn't have the heart to push his friend away. Probably as tired as Pogue was, maybe more confused, maybe less upset. He and Sarah had never had the explosions his friend and Kate went through.
"Scoot down." He nudged, squirmed them both until their heads were on the pillow. Firmly pushed the discomfort and the shiver down his spine away until he could focus enough to move the blankets over them instead of under.
"Caleb…" Pogue's voice was exhausted and annoyed.
"Shut up. Go to sleep. Back to sleep. You're exhausted."
Pogue was silent for a moment. "And you say I use too casually."
They both snickered. Caleb relaxed, he didn't even know why.
"Shut up. Go to sleep."
Fandom: The Covenant
Characters: Pogue, Caleb
Word Count: 1,364 words
Rating: PG
Summary: Caleb and Pogue deal with the aftermath of some discoveries and have several conversations at once.
Thunder cracked outside and for all that they'd been talking, Caleb had really expected to fall asleep first. And now that he had a warm and snoring weight on half his chest and one arm, funny how he didn't really feel sleepy.
The rain made a soothing lullaby against the window. All the lights in the room were still on. His mother would look in and he didn't know what she'd think. At least they'd kept their clothes on, this time.
They'd talked for a while. Caleb didn't really swing that way and even though they'd kissed again, long enough that time slid away and he felt that warmth somewhere between a slow burn and a sudden spark igniting in his chest. He was still pretty sure he didn't swing that way. Pogue was stretched out against him, one arm thrown around his waist, and all he could think about was worrying what happened when his friend left the house and was on his own again.
"You've been on your own for so long you forgot what it's like to rely on people," Caleb told his sleeping friend, but it wasn't all that accurate anyway, and he knew it. Hell, it might have been more accurate for Caleb than for Pogue, but he wasn't sure about that either. They'd never been entirely alone. They'd also never been entirely with anyone but the Covenant since they were thirteen.
Summer camp. Caleb thought about summer camp, about discovering things about themselves and tried to remember if Pogue had ever shown any signs of fooling around with another boy. All they'd mostly talked about was girls, the camp counselors, their powers. Normal boy stuff. Normal boy with supernatural powers stuff.
But, obviously, there had been someone. He hadn't gotten that experience from his own imagination and Caleb flushed to think of what that experience had done to him. He could feel his body's interest in a repeat performance. No, he told it firmly. Not now. Not with Pogue acting weird, not with him not even knowing what this was going to mean for both of them. Not. Now. Nor was he about to relieve the tension, though, so he'd have to lie back and bear it till it went away.
He leaned back and tried to slide down on the bed without waking his friend, but it didn't work. Pogue stirred, blinked. Sat up.
"Whatimeizzit?"
"Late." Caleb pulled him back down, shivering with the strangeness. "It's late. Go back to sleep."
Pogue blinked at him. "Asleep? I fell asleep."
"Yeah, you fell asleep."
He tried to sit up again, and Caleb pushed him back down. Grinned. Pogue eyed him with a slowly-spreading grin of his own and tried to sit up again, only to get pushed back down.
Before he quite grasped the potential consequences of what he was doing Caleb had started a wrestling match, both of them trying to take each other in opposite directions. It was something more normal, and normal was welcome right now.
The floor was not. Caleb's shoulder hit, along with Pogue's cheek.
"Ow."
"Crap."
Caleb giggled. "You okay?"
"Yeah…" Pogue's hand felt along his jaw, making a detour on Caleb's shoulder to push himself up. "It's not funny!"
He might have been more convinced if his friend hadn't been trying not to laugh, as well. "Uh-huh." Caleb sat up. "Get back on the bed, you…"
Pogue was giving him a smirk.
"You know I didn't mean that!" he flushed. "Get back on the bed, you're not going home tonight. You're exhausted, and you're obviously not thinking clearly."
"Obviously." The smirk hadn't gone away, but Pogue clambered back on the bed and stretched out, giving him a look that should have been accompanied by waggling eyebrows and some cheesy pick-up line. Thank god, he refrained.
Caleb stood, arms folded over his chest, keeping off the bed for a second. "Why did you do that, anyway?"
The smile dropped away, painfully quick. "Because I wanted to." Just like that, the barriers were back up, the defensive and almost challenging posture with his shoulder back and his head cocked at the angle of arrogance. "Why? Can't tell me you didn't enjoy it."
For a second he felt like smacking his old friend. He crawled up onto the bed, stretched out next to him but didn't touch him. "You went for five years without telling me any of this, without…" He wasn't ready to talk about Pogue's attraction to him just yet, not when talking about it would make it more real than he wanted to face. "And that's how you tell me you're bi, you …"
Pogue smirked, licked his lips. Caleb punched him lightly in the arm.
"You didn't have to do that."
He looked down, hair falling over his face. "Yeah, I know. Sorry."
Caleb frowned. "What's going on with you? One second, I got my old friend back, the guy I thought I knew, the next second you're acting like I'm some guy you're trying to pick up in a bar. Am I that hard to talk to about this?" Never mind the fact that he was trying not to freak out himself, talking to Pogue about what just happened.
"It's not that, man." Pogue's head came back against the headboard with a soft thud. "Hell, I don't know why I did that. I wanted to. That's about as clear as I got with it. It's just, the past few weeks have pretty much been hell. I don't like what's going on with me and Kate. I can't stand watching what's going on with you and Sarah. And, what, is this what the rest of our lives is supposed to be like?"
He shook his head, and it wasn't as hard as he'd expected to put his arm back around his friend's shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe it gets easier to tell them."
"You ever hear about when your parents… when your Dad told your Mom?"
Caleb stiffened, just a bit.
"Sorry."
"It's okay." He shook his head. "But no. I don't know how they worked it out. I guess we just have to figure on eventually finding someone we can tell everything to, someone who won't freak out or hate us for it." That might have come out more bitter than he meant.
Pogue's hand came to rest over his chest. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but it would have been hard him to make any of the usual gestures of camaraderie, he supposed. Still, this was how it had started.
"Yeah," he was saying. "I'm just not sure we're that lucky."
Caleb snorted. He could sympathize, but that wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear right now. He didn't even want to talk about it anymore right now. This was going to have to come one step at a time, one day at a time. Both figuring out what to do about Sarah, if there was anything that could be done to save them, and what to do about Pogue now that he knew.
The two thoughts collided together, forming words on his lips. "It's easier when you don't have to tell, isn't it."
A long silence followed by an answer. "Yeah."
"Yeah."
They lay there together long enough that Pogue's arm slid from his chest down to rest over his waist. Not what Caleb had meant, but he was tired and confused and didn't have the heart to push his friend away. Probably as tired as Pogue was, maybe more confused, maybe less upset. He and Sarah had never had the explosions his friend and Kate went through.
"Scoot down." He nudged, squirmed them both until their heads were on the pillow. Firmly pushed the discomfort and the shiver down his spine away until he could focus enough to move the blankets over them instead of under.
"Caleb…" Pogue's voice was exhausted and annoyed.
"Shut up. Go to sleep. Back to sleep. You're exhausted."
Pogue was silent for a moment. "And you say I use too casually."
They both snickered. Caleb relaxed, he didn't even know why.
"Shut up. Go to sleep."