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Jul. 5th, 2022 11:48 pmToday was sort of a wash, on account of explosions happening last night until nearly three in the morning. Ugh. I woke up, rolled out of bed, took my pills, had half a Crumbl cookie (huge oversized gourmet-ish cookie store) with the boy for breakfast, and then went back to bed until maybe noon. And then when I woke up I still felt crappy.
But I did get some work done regardless. I cooked the chicken in the fridge for dinner, I showered and clothed myself and did a bit of reading and a bit of cleaning, so today was only sort of a wash. Things got done, partly, slowly, but they got done. And I didn't push myself into worse exhaustion.
I called my Mom and we talked some about recent events in our lives. About the boy not being able to move to days because no one new's getting hired to replace him, about her test results that turned up a calcium deficiency and something else her doctor wants to talk to her about, but nothing urgent. That asterisk of "I want to talk to you about this" is a bit nerve-wracking but it's also a lot better than her saying, by the way I've been losing a lot of weight so I scheduled a whole bunch of labs with my doctor. Yay that you're scheduling labs with your doctor but also what the hell, Mom.
(Of course then she told me what "losing a lot of weight" meant, and it meant over several months and since she stopped going from a sedentary, computer-job life to a life taking care of farm animals, so that's definitely a thing. Mom needs to just stop giving me anxieties.)
We also had a talk in which I think she was trying to suggest she could give me money? But for the first time in my life I'm in a position where, yes, I would never say no to free money but unless she's specifically telling me "I am sending you this to buy treats for yourself so there end of sentence" there's nothing I actually need. And she's paid for enough stuff in my life. So I did not ask for money, and I told her I was fine, we don't have any major expenses and we're paying our bills. And that felt really damn good. I'm in this position because of family generosity anyway, I don't need to go "pls send me money" when I can pay even for my own somewhat pricy luxuries. Airbrush I'm looking at you.
It's definitely a weird feeling to be in this position right now, better than I've been at any other time in my life, when the world is doing what it's doing and the US is at a time of near? worse than? Gilded Age inequality. But here we are. Anyway.
I got nothing else, and everyone's had their medications and I should go to bed, but also I'm looking at my icons thinking "hmm. I should really update those. a lot."
But I did get some work done regardless. I cooked the chicken in the fridge for dinner, I showered and clothed myself and did a bit of reading and a bit of cleaning, so today was only sort of a wash. Things got done, partly, slowly, but they got done. And I didn't push myself into worse exhaustion.
I called my Mom and we talked some about recent events in our lives. About the boy not being able to move to days because no one new's getting hired to replace him, about her test results that turned up a calcium deficiency and something else her doctor wants to talk to her about, but nothing urgent. That asterisk of "I want to talk to you about this" is a bit nerve-wracking but it's also a lot better than her saying, by the way I've been losing a lot of weight so I scheduled a whole bunch of labs with my doctor. Yay that you're scheduling labs with your doctor but also what the hell, Mom.
(Of course then she told me what "losing a lot of weight" meant, and it meant over several months and since she stopped going from a sedentary, computer-job life to a life taking care of farm animals, so that's definitely a thing. Mom needs to just stop giving me anxieties.)
We also had a talk in which I think she was trying to suggest she could give me money? But for the first time in my life I'm in a position where, yes, I would never say no to free money but unless she's specifically telling me "I am sending you this to buy treats for yourself so there end of sentence" there's nothing I actually need. And she's paid for enough stuff in my life. So I did not ask for money, and I told her I was fine, we don't have any major expenses and we're paying our bills. And that felt really damn good. I'm in this position because of family generosity anyway, I don't need to go "pls send me money" when I can pay even for my own somewhat pricy luxuries. Airbrush I'm looking at you.
It's definitely a weird feeling to be in this position right now, better than I've been at any other time in my life, when the world is doing what it's doing and the US is at a time of near? worse than? Gilded Age inequality. But here we are. Anyway.
I got nothing else, and everyone's had their medications and I should go to bed, but also I'm looking at my icons thinking "hmm. I should really update those. a lot."