Apr. 11th, 2017

kittydesade: (bad day)
I am so damn tired and far too much of my brain cycles are going to thinking up what I'll do when La Migra comes for me, despite the fact that they shouldn't because I'm a goddamn citizen. But I'm also Latina, Hispanic, both of those and with a noticeably Latina/Hispanic name, and I feel like it's only a matter of time before some bullshit happens. I'm terrified to fly anywhere. I'm terrified in my own country. And I'm so, so tired.

I had such intentions of getting things done, too. Work was relatively quiet and I was going to get things done and now if I'm not making myself do day job things I'm staring at the screen like a stunned lump.

So I guess this will do for today's check in post and if I can manage to stop crying on the inside long enough I will update it with a list of things I've managed to do.

I just. It feels like my country's being systematically looted and destroyed and then I grieve and then I feel guilty for grieving because *looks at history of the US* *laughs hollowly* and it's a never ending cycle of ugh.

A positive: I have figured out sort of a routine for these gesture drawing video exercises: any chunk of one minute poses up to five minutes, then take a water break. two two minute poses, then take a water break. One five minute pose, then take a water break. This might be different or easier if I was doing it in dedicated class time, but I'm not, and also I'm emotionally exhausted so this is the best small-bites schedule for me.

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