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Jul. 28th, 2016 09:48 amWell, yesterday I got home and did a bit of writing, a bit of picking up. Went out with the boy and got him dinner and me ice cream and that was pretty much the end of my productivity that day. Insert self-flagellation for not getting a shitpile of exercise and writing done, there's been a lot of that lately. I'm going to try a thing where I break everything down into to-do lists, and that way the only thing I'm using much mental energy for is the executive control of getting up, finding a thing on my to-do list that I can do, and doing it.
I really have no idea what's up with me these days. Everything feels screwy in the head, not enough to where it can't be attributed to summer or injury or something else, but just off enough, continuously enough, that I'm grabbing at the competency/ability level I used to have and missing by millimeters. Grr.
(And yes, if the ability level drops any lower I'll do a self-check and see if maybe I don't need a referral to a shrink for.... fuckifIknow. If it's depression it's manifesting only as a mild rise in brainweasels [I'm taking out the brainweasels caused by the lack of ability because that's secondary to the lack of ability] and a slightly less mild rise in exhaustion and drop in executive function.)
Um. So, the DNC speeches continue to happen, oh, heh, that's a possible sap on my energy is all the fucking politics. My enthusiasm for the speeches that everyone else seems to have turned up to 11 is somewhere around a 6 or a 7 because we had to spend so much time pointing out that Trump is a fascist demagogue and will destroy this country if we let him. I mean, yes, good speech, I liked the praise Hillary parts, I ... was saddened by the this other guy is an incapable ass parts. Because he is. And how an incapable ass got to be a presidential candidate I will never know. Also it just reminds me that one of the two parties of the US is limping along with a bleeding suppurating gut wound, and that is not a tenable situation in the long term. Or even in the medium term. And. These things make me sad and upset.
(... and back to the brain chemicals thing, maybe I do need an emergency Xanax at least while this election is going on. Something to bring up with my doc because I need to schedule a follow-up anyway.)
I got nothing. Either happy or unhappy, except that I'm on track to finish Nano with only slightly pushing myself, so that's good! And I've been getting some sketching done. The AC is out at work, though, and will likely be out till at least the end of the week, so. Um. Yeah. I'll try to find happier things for the next check-in. Right now happy things are mostly ice cream and smol cats.
I really have no idea what's up with me these days. Everything feels screwy in the head, not enough to where it can't be attributed to summer or injury or something else, but just off enough, continuously enough, that I'm grabbing at the competency/ability level I used to have and missing by millimeters. Grr.
(And yes, if the ability level drops any lower I'll do a self-check and see if maybe I don't need a referral to a shrink for.... fuckifIknow. If it's depression it's manifesting only as a mild rise in brainweasels [I'm taking out the brainweasels caused by the lack of ability because that's secondary to the lack of ability] and a slightly less mild rise in exhaustion and drop in executive function.)
Um. So, the DNC speeches continue to happen, oh, heh, that's a possible sap on my energy is all the fucking politics. My enthusiasm for the speeches that everyone else seems to have turned up to 11 is somewhere around a 6 or a 7 because we had to spend so much time pointing out that Trump is a fascist demagogue and will destroy this country if we let him. I mean, yes, good speech, I liked the praise Hillary parts, I ... was saddened by the this other guy is an incapable ass parts. Because he is. And how an incapable ass got to be a presidential candidate I will never know. Also it just reminds me that one of the two parties of the US is limping along with a bleeding suppurating gut wound, and that is not a tenable situation in the long term. Or even in the medium term. And. These things make me sad and upset.
(... and back to the brain chemicals thing, maybe I do need an emergency Xanax at least while this election is going on. Something to bring up with my doc because I need to schedule a follow-up anyway.)
I got nothing. Either happy or unhappy, except that I'm on track to finish Nano with only slightly pushing myself, so that's good! And I've been getting some sketching done. The AC is out at work, though, and will likely be out till at least the end of the week, so. Um. Yeah. I'll try to find happier things for the next check-in. Right now happy things are mostly ice cream and smol cats.