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Much more better this morning. Much less angst.

Much more better with the exercise, although, oh my fucking god either it's too hot out and this is humidity collecting on my skin or I'm sweating a hell of a lot. Yes, I'm keeping hydrated, but this is just ricockulous. I think it's actually that I'm sweating a lot from whatever exertion I'm doing because even when I'm in the apartment in the airconditioning, my workouts leave me damp. That said, 15-20 minutes of hard exercises (crunches, push-ups, etc) followed by 20-30 minutes of yoga and ballet that leaves me sweating? Still damn good exercise.

Things I need to remember to do today: visit that new cheese shop downtown, do my bloody filing already. Seriously, it's getting to the point where it's overflowing my desk. I also need to do something about getting the old order papers over to the incinerator (read: the wood stove up at the farm) but it's too damn hot out to run the stove and I'm not sure I can justify shoving pounds and pounds of paper at the Lurking Bandit and saying "here, burn these." Maybe I will anyway. I'd just throw them in the recycling but they have sensitive information on them.

Let's have some science! Atlantis touched down safely, which is a good if sad thing. The end of an era indeed. Space travel is now in the hands of private corporations, and I don't know what kind of a thing that is. Insects are still fucking scary looking, but also fascinating. Pluto has another moon, thank you Hubble. Also, mushroom death suit. That is all.

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What the fuck is this happy horseshit? No, seriously, you guys, this is vampire Pomeranian level what the fuck right there. Ryan Reynolds should be pointing and shouting.

I can't explain, go read it.

Um. So, I know I'm on Google+, but does anyone else want an invite? I'm kind of mostly faffing about on there with offering bits of wisdom regarding writing, not much of substance and certainly not anything I haven't said elsewhere, but it's a bit more of a 'I R SRS WRITER' thing. Except when it isn't. But mostly it is.

Oof yawn. Too much crap to do, not enough time to do it in. I feel like I just want to spend a day writing and noodling around on the guitar, and I definitely won't get a chance to this weekend. Not with ushing at Folkmoot and so on. Possibly both days. But on the plus side, I'll have a quiet weekend the weekend after. I think. Because everyone will be off at Bele Chere and it'll be quiet and I can sleep and faff about on the guitar and write all the things. Including, possibly, fixing my SciFi Big Bang. Which would be good because that's the very last minute, isn't it. Craaaap. I'll have to spend this weekend writing when I'm not ushing. Oh dear. Whatever shall I do. Wait...

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Oogh tired. Still have a bit to write, but... and if the power kicks off again I will be cranky. Although maybe that was just the AC kicking off because I turned the thermostat up. Hm.

So, there was this meme, and you ask for words and someone gives you five words that remind them of you, and then you say what the words remind you of. And I got these words:

Fierce Fierce. Fierce creatures. Ferocity... I've never seen as a negative. Fierce, to me, ties in with passion, with aggression in service of a cause or a goal or a reason. You are fierce because of something. In defense of something. Against something. I like to think I'm fierce about pursuing my goals, or in defense of something. I've known a lot of people I'd call fierce in pursuit of a goal, not as directed at any one person or thing in particular.

Jaguar Oh, that's easy. Ever since I was little I've read about, studied, known about the mesoamerican Jaguar figures of myth. Watched things change as they find new records, study the codices. Jaguar is a spiritual thing for me, both a warrior and a nurturer. Also a damn cool cat to be, in my opinion. If you hadn't figured that out already. ;)

Creative This is one of those things that I don't even know what it means anymore, other than defying convention. Going outside norms. I used to think of it as applying mostly to the arts. Now, I think maybe I just think of it as an ability to go, well, what if things didn't have to be this way. What if they could be this way instead. Which sounds like a very dismissive thing to say, but it isn't really, because people don't always do that. Normal and known is safe. Creative takes you off into new, unsafe directions. I like that.

Loyal See, this is where I start blushing. Not that you can see, 'cause, internet, but there you go. Loyalty. It's not so simple as being a yes-person, I think. It's got a lot to do with acceptance, being able to see a person's faults and assets, and say, you're one of my people. Or with principles, being able to see the advantages and the drawbacks, the positives and the negatives, and being able to say, this isn't perfect, but it's mine. I'm standing by this church, this faith, this organization, this country. Sometimes it's ... I'd say one-sided rather than misguided, but I don't believe the capacity for loyalty is ever a bad thing.

Protective There's two things I think of as far as being protective. One has to do with loyalty, the kind of protective where you stand with your friend, lover, child, parent, stranger, whoever, whatever, and you say, no. You shall not pass. You don't get to hurt this person. But there's a fine line between being protective of someone against harm that needs support and backup, and being smothering. Most of the time, I think, we manage to walk it pretty well.

I think that's all the time we have for tonight, folks. I have to say, I am glad with the way a couple of my Big Bangs are shaping up. I was really starting to dislike them, but I think I've managed to mostly fix them, or at least get them a good ways towards being fixed. Is a good feeling. I can run on just the mechanical knowledge until I find what made me interested in the story again, and then apply both like a hammer and beat it into shape, forging a better story. And on that note it is definitely bedtime because, awkward metaphor much?