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Apr. 26th, 2009 06:43 pmMmm, painting. Finished the wolf, working now on one of the game characters and finishing off the barbarian, which I'll probably just paint the metal bits over with metal colors. I need to practice that. After I practice flesh. I do love painting.
I keep thinking. About a lot of things, but today I've been thinking about things I've been saying and doing and wondering about their meaning, regarding friendships. Regarding people. Knowing what is healthy, doing what is healthy, for the friendship and the person. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. If what I assume to be the case is, if my guesses are correct. I wonder if the judgment call I'm making is the right one. I wonder if my worries are unfounded. I keep getting told, no, it's not like that, no, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Or, there's nothing you can do. I hate that last part. Anything like it.
Is it just that I don't like to be told, no, you're wrong? Or is it ... Hell. I don't know. I worry. And when things aren't getting better fast as I think they should be, or when they don't seem to be getting better, I worry more.
And then I worry about my worrying. And I wonder, where do the boundaries of friendship end? At what point should we stop being busybodies and just let people dig their own holes and climb out of them on their own power. Because, ultimately, that's the only way we can climb out of these holes is under our own power. Where does giving someone a hand turn into pushing them back in? Hell, where does it turn into being pulled down into the hole with them? It takes two to fight, to break a friendship, after all. It takes two people to agree that things are over. And it takes two people to fix a friendship between two people, and... moo. I just don't know.
Less thinky thoughts. Game was fun. Grilling was attempted but the wind kept blowing out the coals so we went back inside, I grilled up the chicken on the stove, and we had barbecue sauce and Jack Daniels sauce. I think tomorrow we'll have the honey teriyaki, since the rest of it is sauces rather than marinades and will keep. Cookies happened, chips and things. We made a mess, but I think we managed to clean it up. I didn't hit anyone with lightning! I did hand another player a pretty little Act of God wrapped up in a bow and, in my opinion, he flubbed it. Ah well. We fixed things later.
Back to painting, and then more writing. The above wasn't directly related to anything or anyone, except in that it was inspired by a conversation had today. Just thinking some thoughts. I have new eggs! Click them so that they do not die please. Ooh, and I have tax refund money. There will be no splurging with tax refund or birthday money this year, or at least, not much at all. Too much debt and not enough savings in cashy monies. So there will be savings and paying down of debt instead. My birthday present to me will be in whatever I buy with whatever gift certificates I get and the peace of mind that comes with having a sizable bank balance, once I build it back up.
I keep thinking. About a lot of things, but today I've been thinking about things I've been saying and doing and wondering about their meaning, regarding friendships. Regarding people. Knowing what is healthy, doing what is healthy, for the friendship and the person. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. If what I assume to be the case is, if my guesses are correct. I wonder if the judgment call I'm making is the right one. I wonder if my worries are unfounded. I keep getting told, no, it's not like that, no, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Or, there's nothing you can do. I hate that last part. Anything like it.
Is it just that I don't like to be told, no, you're wrong? Or is it ... Hell. I don't know. I worry. And when things aren't getting better fast as I think they should be, or when they don't seem to be getting better, I worry more.
And then I worry about my worrying. And I wonder, where do the boundaries of friendship end? At what point should we stop being busybodies and just let people dig their own holes and climb out of them on their own power. Because, ultimately, that's the only way we can climb out of these holes is under our own power. Where does giving someone a hand turn into pushing them back in? Hell, where does it turn into being pulled down into the hole with them? It takes two to fight, to break a friendship, after all. It takes two people to agree that things are over. And it takes two people to fix a friendship between two people, and... moo. I just don't know.
Less thinky thoughts. Game was fun. Grilling was attempted but the wind kept blowing out the coals so we went back inside, I grilled up the chicken on the stove, and we had barbecue sauce and Jack Daniels sauce. I think tomorrow we'll have the honey teriyaki, since the rest of it is sauces rather than marinades and will keep. Cookies happened, chips and things. We made a mess, but I think we managed to clean it up. I didn't hit anyone with lightning! I did hand another player a pretty little Act of God wrapped up in a bow and, in my opinion, he flubbed it. Ah well. We fixed things later.
Back to painting, and then more writing. The above wasn't directly related to anything or anyone, except in that it was inspired by a conversation had today. Just thinking some thoughts. I have new eggs! Click them so that they do not die please. Ooh, and I have tax refund money. There will be no splurging with tax refund or birthday money this year, or at least, not much at all. Too much debt and not enough savings in cashy monies. So there will be savings and paying down of debt instead. My birthday present to me will be in whatever I buy with whatever gift certificates I get and the peace of mind that comes with having a sizable bank balance, once I build it back up.