![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI'm cleaning my room. Why? I don't know. I just cleaned it last week. But now I'm cleaning it again because it makes me feel better. Usually. Now it's just making me more depressed.
I'm packing to go over to the bf's for the weekend, as usual. Somehow it feels like I should be packing to move elsewhere.I don't want that to be my solution, to leave town. But... ugh. So unhappy. That's not true. I'm not that unhappy. I'm just annoyed and depressed and tired and sad over the events of the last twenty-four hours. Overall I've been pretty happy here. I just need to find friends with whom I can talk about ... I don't know. The kind of stuff I want to talk about.
The weather isn't helping. It's hideously gray outside. My moods are becoming increasingly .. not dependant. Umm.. in synch with the weather.
I'm looking up at my bed and wondering if I want to take Henry. This is a bad sign.
I don't know. I think the inevitable solution (and at least Susie, if not![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cruelest_month... they're going to smack me for it. Or yell. But I think the inevitable solution is going to be to sit here and take it. And eventually, when the money starts coming back in and I can have an apartment and more of a real life agian... I'll start parousing places. Bookstores, I guess, would be the first places to start. Trolling for new friends and people to talk to, local people. People who I don't want to strangle while they take twenty minutes to figure out basic math. People to whom I can say, Hey, Hegel was onto something, kooky German that he was, and actually have a conversation about it. And they know what I'm talking about. People with whom I can make Freud jokes.
... this kid just came to the door asking if I wanted to donate 5$ to the orphans. WTF? Sorry kid, I don't know you, I don't know what organization you represent, I'm not giving you any money.
I need to figure out what to do. I need to finish cleaning, try and pull myself out of this downward depressive spiral. It's just ... not helpful.
Maybe a pint of Sin.
I'm packing to go over to the bf's for the weekend, as usual. Somehow it feels like I should be packing to move elsewhere.
The weather isn't helping. It's hideously gray outside. My moods are becoming increasingly .. not dependant. Umm.. in synch with the weather.
I'm looking up at my bed and wondering if I want to take Henry. This is a bad sign.
I don't know. I think the inevitable solution (and at least Susie, if not
cruelest_month... they're going to smack me for it. Or yell. But I think the inevitable solution is going to be to sit here and take it. And eventually, when the money starts coming back in and I can have an apartment and more of a real life agian... I'll start parousing places. Bookstores, I guess, would be the first places to start. Trolling for new friends and people to talk to, local people. People who I don't want to strangle while they take twenty minutes to figure out basic math. People to whom I can say, Hey, Hegel was onto something, kooky German that he was, and actually have a conversation about it. And they know what I'm talking about. People with whom I can make Freud jokes. ... this kid just came to the door asking if I wanted to donate 5$ to the orphans. WTF? Sorry kid, I don't know you, I don't know what organization you represent, I'm not giving you any money.
Maybe a pint of Sin.
