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Dec. 24th, 2020 11:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeIiii I want to say I'm recovering? Monday went relatively well, there was coding appropriately. Tuesday went... well, it would have gone well with errands in the morning and coding in the afternoon except when we were sitting down to have lunch and watch an episode of Burn Notice the power started flickering. The boy looked up what was going and found that we were supposed to have a windstorm for most of the day, so I just gave up doing any computer related work.
Of course the power stayed on.
Wednesday: break day. Also a bit of a breakdown day, nobody loves me, I can't do anything, etc etc. But it was supposed to be a break day. And then today... Christmas Eve, I spent five or six hours bakiAng cupcakes for the boy's work, we had to run an abrupt errand in the morning getting him to his workplace to get the covid vaccine (Moderna) first dose and then I sat up with him for an hour making sure he didn't have an awful reaction. He did not, and he's at work now. But... As far as getting back to routines and class, it's not going too well? But as far as not spending all day on the couch, that's going better. I'm doing some cleaning, I'm doing some other stuff, I'm trying not to be edgy about all the wind and some power flickers. We had them again today, too.
Still not entirely... I'm feeling some kind of way. About feeling left out and unwanted and so on, but at the same time I was aware enough to look over at the pill case and go "Oh, I bet I know what this is, and also fuck you." Because it's getting towards that time, and I think last cycle it started early, too. But that was yesterday, and today seemed more even? That could have just been good luck with interactive algorithms or it could have been me feeling more like myself and more willing to reach out to casual friends. Time will tell I guess.
I made cupcakes for the boy's work. I made a dozen with mint buttercream filling and chocolate buttercream piping on top, and then the ganache cooled (it was not my best ganache though) and I made a dozen with mint buttercream filling and chocolate ganache between the top and the chocolate buttercream piping,and now I have a better idea of how to pipe things into cupcakes and also some practice using a piping bag and decorative tip. And that was fun. The mess afterwards wasn't as fun, especially since the boy couldn't help clean up because he had to go to work, hence the cupcakes, but overall, fun.
I think I'm going to do two hours of code tomorrow and write off the rest of the day for curling up and reading books. It's not like most of the school and other students would expect me to do work on Christmas anyway, regardless of my religion. It's the "universal" US holiday. I can get back to it, kind of, next week, and more solidly when the new year starts, there aren't any more weird holidays and schedule disruptions, and hopefully no other major events happening. (Also part of my reluctance to start up coding right now is I don't want to bother people on the help line while they might be enjoying their holidays. I know, it doesn't entirely make sense, if they didn't want to help line they could probably avoid it whether by vacation days or declining the request but... whatever.)
Uuurgh. Routines are really, really hard to get back into and maintain. Uuugh.
Of course the power stayed on.
Wednesday: break day. Also a bit of a breakdown day, nobody loves me, I can't do anything, etc etc. But it was supposed to be a break day. And then today... Christmas Eve, I spent five or six hours bakiAng cupcakes for the boy's work, we had to run an abrupt errand in the morning getting him to his workplace to get the covid vaccine (Moderna) first dose and then I sat up with him for an hour making sure he didn't have an awful reaction. He did not, and he's at work now. But... As far as getting back to routines and class, it's not going too well? But as far as not spending all day on the couch, that's going better. I'm doing some cleaning, I'm doing some other stuff, I'm trying not to be edgy about all the wind and some power flickers. We had them again today, too.
Still not entirely... I'm feeling some kind of way. About feeling left out and unwanted and so on, but at the same time I was aware enough to look over at the pill case and go "Oh, I bet I know what this is, and also fuck you." Because it's getting towards that time, and I think last cycle it started early, too. But that was yesterday, and today seemed more even? That could have just been good luck with interactive algorithms or it could have been me feeling more like myself and more willing to reach out to casual friends. Time will tell I guess.
I made cupcakes for the boy's work. I made a dozen with mint buttercream filling and chocolate buttercream piping on top, and then the ganache cooled (it was not my best ganache though) and I made a dozen with mint buttercream filling and chocolate ganache between the top and the chocolate buttercream piping,and now I have a better idea of how to pipe things into cupcakes and also some practice using a piping bag and decorative tip. And that was fun. The mess afterwards wasn't as fun, especially since the boy couldn't help clean up because he had to go to work, hence the cupcakes, but overall, fun.
I think I'm going to do two hours of code tomorrow and write off the rest of the day for curling up and reading books. It's not like most of the school and other students would expect me to do work on Christmas anyway, regardless of my religion. It's the "universal" US holiday. I can get back to it, kind of, next week, and more solidly when the new year starts, there aren't any more weird holidays and schedule disruptions, and hopefully no other major events happening. (Also part of my reluctance to start up coding right now is I don't want to bother people on the help line while they might be enjoying their holidays. I know, it doesn't entirely make sense, if they didn't want to help line they could probably avoid it whether by vacation days or declining the request but... whatever.)
Uuurgh. Routines are really, really hard to get back into and maintain. Uuugh.