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Sep. 14th, 2020 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeBlergh. No anxiety attacks today, no panics, nothing like that. Just a... not quite a nightmare? I woke up at 5 in the morning because Bat Cat yelled, I think because of the boy moving around downstairs, and somehow was convinced that he was going to escape his carrier when we took him for his wellness checkup on Wednesday, run out into traffic, and die. So that was sort of a waking nightmare that took a while to get back to sleep, and then I was exhausted in the morning. Slept in, skipped my morning class block, worked on some things in the afternoon but I'm still behind and all the labs are 20-30 tests long and ugh.
Hopefully tonight I get more damn sleep. Good, consistent sleep. Sleep last night was fine! My dreams were fine, I was apparently tabletop gaming in my sleep. I know dice of RPG types were involved. It's just that one chunk of time when I was awake instead of sleeping.
And going by the fact that it took me roughly three hours to get fully awake, I do need to get better about going to bed on time so I can wake up on time and have enough time to really get moving before class blocks start. I'm trying not to be anxious about how behind I am but that one week of getting relatively little done... ugh. So I need to be actually awake when class blocks start. On the other hand, the labs aren't as difficult as they used to be when my temper was shorter and I got frustrated more easily, they're much more get annoyed, breathe through it, google, try a couple more things, get annoyed, put it away for now and read some more. (I put it away half an hour before end of class tonight but that's only because it was the late bloc and I wasn't supposed to be doing labs at that hour anyway.)
My experiment worked! The mailbox I put a couple of cards in did in fact get picked up, the mail was properly sent. Which means now I get to write a whole bunch of other letters and cards and send them and start just doodling things on papers and writing letters and drabbles and sending them as they occur to me. I get to put my stationary supplies to good use! Yay! I have SO MUCH stationary crap from when I thought I was going to be able to put it all out for the mailman at work. Ooh, I can use my sealing wax. I forgot that I'd learned about the different types of sealing wax and gotten some for letters.
And there's drawings to draw and cross-stitch to do and definitely writing to write now that I've gotten back in that groove. I do feel better, I must be feeling better and while I hope I'm not edging into manic territory, I'm glad to be wanting to do things and enjoying things again. I just need to get better about allocating time for it all, she said, having finally gotten her brain together at near midnight and left nearly no writing time. Whoops.
Hopefully tonight I get more damn sleep. Good, consistent sleep. Sleep last night was fine! My dreams were fine, I was apparently tabletop gaming in my sleep. I know dice of RPG types were involved. It's just that one chunk of time when I was awake instead of sleeping.
And going by the fact that it took me roughly three hours to get fully awake, I do need to get better about going to bed on time so I can wake up on time and have enough time to really get moving before class blocks start. I'm trying not to be anxious about how behind I am but that one week of getting relatively little done... ugh. So I need to be actually awake when class blocks start. On the other hand, the labs aren't as difficult as they used to be when my temper was shorter and I got frustrated more easily, they're much more get annoyed, breathe through it, google, try a couple more things, get annoyed, put it away for now and read some more. (I put it away half an hour before end of class tonight but that's only because it was the late bloc and I wasn't supposed to be doing labs at that hour anyway.)
My experiment worked! The mailbox I put a couple of cards in did in fact get picked up, the mail was properly sent. Which means now I get to write a whole bunch of other letters and cards and send them and start just doodling things on papers and writing letters and drabbles and sending them as they occur to me. I get to put my stationary supplies to good use! Yay! I have SO MUCH stationary crap from when I thought I was going to be able to put it all out for the mailman at work. Ooh, I can use my sealing wax. I forgot that I'd learned about the different types of sealing wax and gotten some for letters.
And there's drawings to draw and cross-stitch to do and definitely writing to write now that I've gotten back in that groove. I do feel better, I must be feeling better and while I hope I'm not edging into manic territory, I'm glad to be wanting to do things and enjoying things again. I just need to get better about allocating time for it all, she said, having finally gotten her brain together at near midnight and left nearly no writing time. Whoops.