(no subject)

[kittydesade]

Weight dropping back down under 200 now... Yeah, I have no idea what's going on. And I'm too goddamn tired to worry about it, although I will also worry about it because I can't bloody sleep. The night before last made sense, the boy was snoring like a freight train. Last night? NO snoring, only being awake from 1 to 3.30 for no goddamn reason until I took a trazodone, which did knock me out. Go figure. Going to take another one tonight, and by one I mean half a tab because half a tab is usually good enough to knock me the fuck out and reset my sleep abilities. Which should also help with the weight loss! And the related anxiety/worrying/self-esteem? I'm not sure what to call it but it's most likely sleep and illness caused.

And ... I don't fucking know. We'll see what happens if I actually have the energy over the next few days to keep up the morning exercise. Which, last week wasn't bad for it! Plus the protein shakes! Then the weekend sinus crud happened and, well. Yeah. I just want to lose the last twenty-thirty by now fucking pounds, how fucking hard is that? (I know, I know.)

I do feel better. I did get some sleep, slept pretty good from 10-1 and then managed again from around 3 to 6 and intermittent after that. So it wasn't all bad. Just extraordinarily inconvenient.

Good news. Better news, anyway. I made it through a full day of work without falling over. I found a place, well, I got a notice that an agent was closing to unsolicited submissions end of the day tomorrow and for a wonder, I have something to submit to him. This might lead me to submit a couple other novels elsewhere, I have one that's ready just to send off and one that I could polish up a chunk, send it off, and then see how well that goes. I got some Black Stone Rising drafted. I haven't gotten any edits done yet but that's still in the works. Pulling myself back together piece by piece. Plus I did put on fantastic makeup and my nails are polished.

And I guess we'll see what happens from here. Hopefully I freaking sleep tomorrow night. Tonight I'm taking the stupid trazodone so I should sleep pretty well.