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Jul. 24th, 2019 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI had this nice idea that I would go to sleep last night on time and get up this morning on time (early ish) and get some veggies cut and some dishes cleaned and the trash and recycling out, and instead.... I woke up at 4.30-5 in the morning, did not get back to sleep for a long time, had awful intrusive-feeling thoughts, woke up at 6.30 and staggered out to get the recycling and trash out, went back to sleep, woke up and rushed through the morning to get to work with nothing in the kitchen done.
I feel like hammered shit. And I just dumped about a hundred bucks worth of washi tape and stickers into my shopping cart which I will not buy immediately but it will sit there forever because when I'm stressed I make motions of buying things. Especially if I don't have my guitar or art supplies or something. Which I don't, because I'm at work.
I'm so goddamn tired. I'm tired in my personal life and I am extremely tired of politics, which is particularly active today. I'm fuck-everything levels of tired.
What have I read recently, let's talk about that. I read an epic buttload of Grishaverse by Leigh Bardugo. The Six of Crows duology, the Grisha trilogy, I need to read King of Scars as soon as I get paid again and spend some money on books. That aren't pre-orders. I enjoyed all of them, although I enjoyed the Six of Crows books better than the Grisha verse. Also now that I've been reminded that Grisha is a diminutive for Grigori in Russian I am never going to stop laughing at that.
And now I'm working on Ninefox Gambit, which is much slower going because I can't absorb it quite as readily as I can most fiction books. With most fiction books I can sort of unhinge my mind (pun not intended but hah) and swallow it whole, with this one I have to read the sentence, parse the language, fit it into what I've read, and then go on to the next sentence. Which is a very complicated way of saying it and make it sound like it'll take much longer than it does, but still slower than I'm used to. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The rest of the book is enjoyable so far, I'm only into chapter two so I can't really say much of anything. I will put it this way: despite life being so goddamn tiresome that I have to remind myself that reading is a thing I enjoy, when I pick this book up it doesn't become a thing I don't enjoy and I have to put it down because it's time to do other things, not because of the book. Anyway, once I get further than a chapter and a bit, I'll have a more extensive first impression.
I got... I can only describe it as "fed up with my own bullshit" yesterday? Which is more pejorative than I mean it to be, but, yeah. Annoyed into getting more organized and getting things done as a writer, so maybe I can keep going there for a time. Didn't get guitar practice in but that's more because I was stressed and tired and manic and ran out of time. I'll make time for some tonight.
Oh! Now I remember why I ran out of time. I went to my desktop to do some administrivia and the first thing I had to break-fix was the wireless wasn't working. So I finished the icons I meant to finish real quick, restarted, determined it was the router, fixed that, okay, back online. I updated my guitar goals playlist on my phone, which took a bit but that could run in the background, decided this would be a good time to back up my e-book library, realized I hadn't downloaded everything onto my new Kindle, and started that up. This was my big mistake. Because after that it seemed to finish in far shorter of a time than I expected (which should have been my first clue) and I figured everything was okay, I'd try to send Starlight to my Kindle so I could type it up more easily than tabbing through windows. And I tried. And I tried. And I did five different things they recommended to do. And I tried some more. And forty five minutes later the fucking thing finally updated itself again, this time with three and a half copies of Starlight on my Kindle because it hadn't caught up that I'd uploaded and deleted a bunch. All total including internet troubleshooting and other time, that was two hours I lost to tech administrivia which should have taken thirty minutes.
I guess that's where my guitar practice time went. Plus side, I'm not likely to need to repeat that anytime soon.
Anyway. In addition to feeling tired, yesterday's successes at getting writer shit done on multiple projects instead of just whatever I'm drafting now did give me a boost of accomplishment. So let's see if that balances out and I can repeat it today. Even though mostly I want to go sleep in a cave for a hundred years.
I feel like hammered shit. And I just dumped about a hundred bucks worth of washi tape and stickers into my shopping cart which I will not buy immediately but it will sit there forever because when I'm stressed I make motions of buying things. Especially if I don't have my guitar or art supplies or something. Which I don't, because I'm at work.
I'm so goddamn tired. I'm tired in my personal life and I am extremely tired of politics, which is particularly active today. I'm fuck-everything levels of tired.
What have I read recently, let's talk about that. I read an epic buttload of Grishaverse by Leigh Bardugo. The Six of Crows duology, the Grisha trilogy, I need to read King of Scars as soon as I get paid again and spend some money on books. That aren't pre-orders. I enjoyed all of them, although I enjoyed the Six of Crows books better than the Grisha verse. Also now that I've been reminded that Grisha is a diminutive for Grigori in Russian I am never going to stop laughing at that.
And now I'm working on Ninefox Gambit, which is much slower going because I can't absorb it quite as readily as I can most fiction books. With most fiction books I can sort of unhinge my mind (pun not intended but hah) and swallow it whole, with this one I have to read the sentence, parse the language, fit it into what I've read, and then go on to the next sentence. Which is a very complicated way of saying it and make it sound like it'll take much longer than it does, but still slower than I'm used to. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The rest of the book is enjoyable so far, I'm only into chapter two so I can't really say much of anything. I will put it this way: despite life being so goddamn tiresome that I have to remind myself that reading is a thing I enjoy, when I pick this book up it doesn't become a thing I don't enjoy and I have to put it down because it's time to do other things, not because of the book. Anyway, once I get further than a chapter and a bit, I'll have a more extensive first impression.
I got... I can only describe it as "fed up with my own bullshit" yesterday? Which is more pejorative than I mean it to be, but, yeah. Annoyed into getting more organized and getting things done as a writer, so maybe I can keep going there for a time. Didn't get guitar practice in but that's more because I was stressed and tired and manic and ran out of time. I'll make time for some tonight.
Oh! Now I remember why I ran out of time. I went to my desktop to do some administrivia and the first thing I had to break-fix was the wireless wasn't working. So I finished the icons I meant to finish real quick, restarted, determined it was the router, fixed that, okay, back online. I updated my guitar goals playlist on my phone, which took a bit but that could run in the background, decided this would be a good time to back up my e-book library, realized I hadn't downloaded everything onto my new Kindle, and started that up. This was my big mistake. Because after that it seemed to finish in far shorter of a time than I expected (which should have been my first clue) and I figured everything was okay, I'd try to send Starlight to my Kindle so I could type it up more easily than tabbing through windows. And I tried. And I tried. And I did five different things they recommended to do. And I tried some more. And forty five minutes later the fucking thing finally updated itself again, this time with three and a half copies of Starlight on my Kindle because it hadn't caught up that I'd uploaded and deleted a bunch. All total including internet troubleshooting and other time, that was two hours I lost to tech administrivia which should have taken thirty minutes.
I guess that's where my guitar practice time went. Plus side, I'm not likely to need to repeat that anytime soon.
Anyway. In addition to feeling tired, yesterday's successes at getting writer shit done on multiple projects instead of just whatever I'm drafting now did give me a boost of accomplishment. So let's see if that balances out and I can repeat it today. Even though mostly I want to go sleep in a cave for a hundred years.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-07-25 01:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-07-26 03:16 pm (UTC)