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May. 8th, 2019 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeToday was so stressful I didn't even go to class afterwards. We were short staffed so I would have been late anyway but by 4pm I was so fucking exhausted I forgot my box cutter in the staff bathroom and I realized it when I was in the hall and decided, no. I am not in a fit mental state to judge anything let alone whether or not I'm kicking with enough force, in the right direction, etc.
The end result being I have decided that after my hair appointment this weekend, that I completely forgot about when I made a date with my uncle for guitar shopping whoops, I am going to get a goddamn massage. I'm going to try and schedule it this weekend, but it's a bit dicey when I don't know when I'm going to be out of my hair appointment. Also the boy will be off till Sunday and my preferred spa place will do any massage as a couples massage so I might try that. Ponder.
Also, and I don't .... wait, no. I have a red nail polish. But, yes, I don't know why I'm craving this other than I've been very quick to anger the last couple of days for both stress and political reasons (where the anger is mostly directed) and now I'm craving a black leather jacket, black or red nail polish, and red lipstick. And possibly dying my hair black. .... which now I'm very tempted to DO this weekend, if that's the time allotted. I did only book for getting my roots done though. But for DragonCon, I may get it done straight up black with red tone lights, if that's possible. I know last time I got it dyed they were using different products but Stylist H offered me blue-toned black, red-toned black, or purple-toned black.
Basically I'm feeling very much like going back to being a leather clad stompy booted punk. Which, one look at the world around suggests ample reasons why, I guess I just hit a snapping point.
I hope tomorrow is quieter. I haven't had the energy to write in days. I haven't been practicing guitar. It's been gnawing at me and definitely contributing to the anger. So I guess it's time to break out the leather cuffs, leather gloves, polish my boots, and get to work.
Oh! Speaking of which, though. A conversation I had with a friend on Twitter led to coming to a conclusion that I am in many cases the Designated Bitch. The one who's willing to say no and back it up with fists. The one who interrupts back. The one who cuts off the creepy men. he one who gives no fucks, is tough to make doubt herself, doesn't apologize for knowing things or being smart. Doesn't qualify statements she knows to be true, doesn't put up with negging. Will flatten you if you get up in her grill.
And the consequence to all of this is that now I need either a leather biker cut or a denim jacket with my (pen) name on one side and "Designated Bitch" as my biker title on the other. Heh.
The end result being I have decided that after my hair appointment this weekend, that I completely forgot about when I made a date with my uncle for guitar shopping whoops, I am going to get a goddamn massage. I'm going to try and schedule it this weekend, but it's a bit dicey when I don't know when I'm going to be out of my hair appointment. Also the boy will be off till Sunday and my preferred spa place will do any massage as a couples massage so I might try that. Ponder.
Also, and I don't .... wait, no. I have a red nail polish. But, yes, I don't know why I'm craving this other than I've been very quick to anger the last couple of days for both stress and political reasons (where the anger is mostly directed) and now I'm craving a black leather jacket, black or red nail polish, and red lipstick. And possibly dying my hair black. .... which now I'm very tempted to DO this weekend, if that's the time allotted. I did only book for getting my roots done though. But for DragonCon, I may get it done straight up black with red tone lights, if that's possible. I know last time I got it dyed they were using different products but Stylist H offered me blue-toned black, red-toned black, or purple-toned black.
Basically I'm feeling very much like going back to being a leather clad stompy booted punk. Which, one look at the world around suggests ample reasons why, I guess I just hit a snapping point.
I hope tomorrow is quieter. I haven't had the energy to write in days. I haven't been practicing guitar. It's been gnawing at me and definitely contributing to the anger. So I guess it's time to break out the leather cuffs, leather gloves, polish my boots, and get to work.
Oh! Speaking of which, though. A conversation I had with a friend on Twitter led to coming to a conclusion that I am in many cases the Designated Bitch. The one who's willing to say no and back it up with fists. The one who interrupts back. The one who cuts off the creepy men. he one who gives no fucks, is tough to make doubt herself, doesn't apologize for knowing things or being smart. Doesn't qualify statements she knows to be true, doesn't put up with negging. Will flatten you if you get up in her grill.
And the consequence to all of this is that now I need either a leather biker cut or a denim jacket with my (pen) name on one side and "Designated Bitch" as my biker title on the other. Heh.