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Jul. 30th, 2018 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeWell my state of mind right now is absolute shit. I've managed to lose my BC pack somewhere in the house (which is not actually the problem, I'm not out yet, but it's not helping me feel like a responsible adult), Cassius is missing again, he reappeared that one night and hasn't been seen since and now Barton is back to being sad and extra clingy. I'm trying to balance all my various expenses which include random blood pressure crap and random thyroid crap and probably a dental implant which is the absolute worst of it all and, well, money is a stressor. And. And everything. And I feel sad and exhausted and alternate between wanting to shove everyone away and sleep for the rest of forever and being convinced that everyone is dropping me like a bad penny.
This is great. This is awesome fun, this is exactly what I needed, thanks brain.
I have no idea what the hell happened or snapped or malfunctioned in there but I would like it to be temporary rather than have to pay for another pill pack that may or may not even work. A week ago I would have said it was PMS, but that's over and I'm not at all sure now. For the sake of record keeping, it started in a major way Sunday afternoon and I hoped sleep would reset, but no, apparently not.
Plus I have epic shitton of stuff to do by, oh, Wednesday. (Not by Wednesday specifically but I wanted to have it ready by the beginning of all the submission periods.) And with as asleep as my brain has been that's not going to happen either. It'll probably get done in time, but not without considerable effort and I'm already expending effort just to tread water.
And basically *endless screaming* I've had better weeks.
ETA: Okay, found the BC pack under one of the bookbags we carry around, the boy's gaming bag. So that's one stressor removed anyway. Also have been reminded that perimenopause is a possible thing and if so I'm going to go ahead and hate getting older and also being embodied now.
This is great. This is awesome fun, this is exactly what I needed, thanks brain.
I have no idea what the hell happened or snapped or malfunctioned in there but I would like it to be temporary rather than have to pay for another pill pack that may or may not even work. A week ago I would have said it was PMS, but that's over and I'm not at all sure now. For the sake of record keeping, it started in a major way Sunday afternoon and I hoped sleep would reset, but no, apparently not.
Plus I have epic shitton of stuff to do by, oh, Wednesday. (Not by Wednesday specifically but I wanted to have it ready by the beginning of all the submission periods.) And with as asleep as my brain has been that's not going to happen either. It'll probably get done in time, but not without considerable effort and I'm already expending effort just to tread water.
And basically *endless screaming* I've had better weeks.
ETA: Okay, found the BC pack under one of the bookbags we carry around, the boy's gaming bag. So that's one stressor removed anyway. Also have been reminded that perimenopause is a possible thing and if so I'm going to go ahead and hate getting older and also being embodied now.