(no subject)
Oct. 11th, 2016 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeSo yes, as expected I do need a root canal. Whine groan moan complain. Bitch about money. It's definitely not even the pain I'm afraid of at this point, it's the money and the oh god calling insurance companies because apparently I have to file this one myself. Don't wanna. I guess tonight I look through the paperwork because it's entirely possible they only said that because my dental insurance card is illegible at this point. And if all I have to do is get my information off a statement and give it to them, EASY YES HERE FINE THAT'S FINE.
Ugh. I hate bureaucracy. I hated it when I was buying my dream house (not that I was thinking of it that way at the time but I think it really is) and I hate it every year when I do the stupid open enrollment health insurance bullshit, and I hate it when I do my taxes, and I'm dreading doing it with the flinging my dentist bill at my insurance going pay it you fuckers what do I pay you for. You don't even pay for half my fucking cleanings. Dental insurance is bullshit and this is not a civilized country.
Aaaargh. I mean I actually think that's the worst thing going on in my life right now, and it's not that bad, family will help pay for what insurance doesn't, but aaaargh. I can't stop stressing. Or wanting to do behaviors to ease that stress like buy things or eat all the cookie dough, and no, self. No.
Maybe this is an opportunity to train myself into writing or brainstorming or editing when I get stressed. I'm about halfway? Ish? through edits in Turing Shrugged, though that might be inflated because the damn thing ended before I'd hit my estimated word count goal for Camp Nano and I ended up writing about one-two thousand words of porn for filler. yes, really. But close to halfway, so that's good, and writing is sort of coming. I think I've figured out what I'm working on for the next two months anyway. And I damn well need to get better about self promotion. Talk about Sandborn more on Twitter. Bring the stupid postcards in to work and put them out with the rest of the advertising.
One thing at a time in the meantime. Eat lunch, finish studying Duolingo which now includes Hebrew because why the hell not I'm a masochist. Day job. And one writing or editing task at a time. Bit by bit. I'm at a point I think where I'm excessively easy to caterpillar, and I don't like this.
Ugh. I hate bureaucracy. I hated it when I was buying my dream house (not that I was thinking of it that way at the time but I think it really is) and I hate it every year when I do the stupid open enrollment health insurance bullshit, and I hate it when I do my taxes, and I'm dreading doing it with the flinging my dentist bill at my insurance going pay it you fuckers what do I pay you for. You don't even pay for half my fucking cleanings. Dental insurance is bullshit and this is not a civilized country.
Aaaargh. I mean I actually think that's the worst thing going on in my life right now, and it's not that bad, family will help pay for what insurance doesn't, but aaaargh. I can't stop stressing. Or wanting to do behaviors to ease that stress like buy things or eat all the cookie dough, and no, self. No.
Maybe this is an opportunity to train myself into writing or brainstorming or editing when I get stressed. I'm about halfway? Ish? through edits in Turing Shrugged, though that might be inflated because the damn thing ended before I'd hit my estimated word count goal for Camp Nano and I ended up writing about one-two thousand words of porn for filler. yes, really. But close to halfway, so that's good, and writing is sort of coming. I think I've figured out what I'm working on for the next two months anyway. And I damn well need to get better about self promotion. Talk about Sandborn more on Twitter. Bring the stupid postcards in to work and put them out with the rest of the advertising.
One thing at a time in the meantime. Eat lunch, finish studying Duolingo which now includes Hebrew because why the hell not I'm a masochist. Day job. And one writing or editing task at a time. Bit by bit. I'm at a point I think where I'm excessively easy to caterpillar, and I don't like this.
(no subject)
Date: 2016-10-12 02:54 pm (UTC)sending my sympathy
phones are terrible
fyi channeling anxiety into productivity can result in burnout too so just...you know, take care of yourself.
(no subject)
Date: 2016-10-12 03:27 pm (UTC)Thanks. <3 <3 <3
(no subject)
Date: 2016-10-12 04:35 pm (UTC)sigh
<3 <3 <3