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Oct. 4th, 2016 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeWell, yesterday got kind of lost down the rabbit hole of migraine. Only since the head pain part was intermittent and I only almost threw up once that could have been mistaken for acid reflux, I didn't clue in until this morning when my head had that whole shaken egg barely contained by a crack shell feeling of postdrome. So, um. Go me?
And then there was the part where my dental cleaning yesterday resulted in "oh, you've got a fistula and I can't fucking tell what from, I'm going to send you to an endodontist and the likely outcomes are either root canal or tooth extraction." OH GOOD. Plus the fact that tooth extraction is going to likely mean I do need implants on that side because of reasons and way too many molar extractions/years without dental insurance, I really love paying shittons of money on my teeth when I fucking brush them twice a day and go to my regular cleanings. Ugh. This is not making me feel any better about my credit card debt. Or my ability to handle money in general. And this one isn't even my fault!
It could be worse. It could be a lot worse, i could not have family willing to toss money at me for dental bills. I'm still going to feel like a failure as an adult for a while, bleh.
Bright side of things. I do have family. I am getting my various bills under control. I am definitely getting my financial habits under control, I hope? I'm always good once I hit a certain level of oh god I suck at money, it's when I have money that I suck at it. And. And. Um.
Good that the migraine's over, I guess! I can get back to work on things, much delayed things, and I'm back to feeling behind on everything. One step at a time. A friend of mine recently posted about resenting all the hours of activity her body's stolen from her. I hear you, hon. I so hear you.
So, okay. Deep breaths. The only way to fix this constantly behind feeling is to do things one at a time. So let's do things one at a time. I can do this. And! And I released a book! A fantasy post-apoc western ish thing. And days later, the only qualms I have about it are the usual brainweasels of I have read this a billion times so it no longer seems fresh and new and exciting. Which, that I can live with. I'm pretty sure that happens to everything who writes something long enough that requires a long enough revision time.
And then there was the part where my dental cleaning yesterday resulted in "oh, you've got a fistula and I can't fucking tell what from, I'm going to send you to an endodontist and the likely outcomes are either root canal or tooth extraction." OH GOOD. Plus the fact that tooth extraction is going to likely mean I do need implants on that side because of reasons and way too many molar extractions/years without dental insurance, I really love paying shittons of money on my teeth when I fucking brush them twice a day and go to my regular cleanings. Ugh. This is not making me feel any better about my credit card debt. Or my ability to handle money in general. And this one isn't even my fault!
It could be worse. It could be a lot worse, i could not have family willing to toss money at me for dental bills. I'm still going to feel like a failure as an adult for a while, bleh.
Bright side of things. I do have family. I am getting my various bills under control. I am definitely getting my financial habits under control, I hope? I'm always good once I hit a certain level of oh god I suck at money, it's when I have money that I suck at it. And. And. Um.
Good that the migraine's over, I guess! I can get back to work on things, much delayed things, and I'm back to feeling behind on everything. One step at a time. A friend of mine recently posted about resenting all the hours of activity her body's stolen from her. I hear you, hon. I so hear you.
So, okay. Deep breaths. The only way to fix this constantly behind feeling is to do things one at a time. So let's do things one at a time. I can do this. And! And I released a book! A fantasy post-apoc western ish thing. And days later, the only qualms I have about it are the usual brainweasels of I have read this a billion times so it no longer seems fresh and new and exciting. Which, that I can live with. I'm pretty sure that happens to everything who writes something long enough that requires a long enough revision time.