(no subject)
Sep. 20th, 2016 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeOkay, so despite forgetting bedtime again last night (though less egregiously) I did manage to sleep, to reset my brain maybe more properly this time? Plus a conversation with another friend yesterday jammed some things into hopefully a more helpful perspective long term. Definitely in the short term, except then I ended up slinging around 50lb bags of chemicals and I did not pack the lunch for that. And I hadn't restocked/restored the fridge so by the end of the day my blood sugar was crap and my nutrients more so. Go me.
Anyway. Hopefully this is a solution because I'm really, really tired of that part of my brain trying to fuck with me. I'm supposed to be stable and steady goddammit.
And all that aside, I am slowly managing to get back into routines. I got a chunk of my languages done out of textbooks yesterday, and the Japanese done by parsing anime songs which was about all I had brain for by that time but eh.
I have no idea why, I'm leaning towards a more steampunk-ish aesthetic right now, although I don't have a big enough wardrobe for options for it for every day of the week. And I still don't know why. But, sure? Which I suppose means somewhere in the later half of this week I should start hacking sleeves and collars off some of my t-shirts and maybe tailoring them around the waisticle area, and edgestitching the sleeve and collar holes, things like that. Not sure which t-shirts. I should rummage. There's got to be something fun I can do, I have fifty frillion t-shirts.
And then this weekend is putting the garden to bed, although I might try and squeeze last tomatoes out of the tomato plants. I was going to plant broccoli, but as out of habit as I've gotten with taking care of the garden I'm just going to plastic it up and wait till next year. We did get some damn good tomato sauce out of it though! And PEPPERS there were peppers. I love the peppers.
ETA: And then talking with the braintwin some untangled why normalizing it helped, through a chain of (I put this here so that I don't forget because this is going to happen next year) "this is normal, it's just that it hasn't happened very often for you in a normal, calm way" --> "this is normal but you're still exhausted and catastrophizing and your energy for this kind of thing is fucked" / "you take weeks to decompensate from DragonCon because you are ALWAYS on and it was longer than usual this year" --> "well, okay then, next year do weekly check ins to make sure your brain is not being a tool" AH-HAH. I don't exactly know, probably won't for a few weeks if this is it, but it feels right.
Also brains are stupid and I want a full refund.
Anyway. Hopefully this is a solution because I'm really, really tired of that part of my brain trying to fuck with me. I'm supposed to be stable and steady goddammit.
And all that aside, I am slowly managing to get back into routines. I got a chunk of my languages done out of textbooks yesterday, and the Japanese done by parsing anime songs which was about all I had brain for by that time but eh.
I have no idea why, I'm leaning towards a more steampunk-ish aesthetic right now, although I don't have a big enough wardrobe for options for it for every day of the week. And I still don't know why. But, sure? Which I suppose means somewhere in the later half of this week I should start hacking sleeves and collars off some of my t-shirts and maybe tailoring them around the waisticle area, and edgestitching the sleeve and collar holes, things like that. Not sure which t-shirts. I should rummage. There's got to be something fun I can do, I have fifty frillion t-shirts.
And then this weekend is putting the garden to bed, although I might try and squeeze last tomatoes out of the tomato plants. I was going to plant broccoli, but as out of habit as I've gotten with taking care of the garden I'm just going to plastic it up and wait till next year. We did get some damn good tomato sauce out of it though! And PEPPERS there were peppers. I love the peppers.
ETA: And then talking with the braintwin some untangled why normalizing it helped, through a chain of (I put this here so that I don't forget because this is going to happen next year) "this is normal, it's just that it hasn't happened very often for you in a normal, calm way" --> "this is normal but you're still exhausted and catastrophizing and your energy for this kind of thing is fucked" / "you take weeks to decompensate from DragonCon because you are ALWAYS on and it was longer than usual this year" --> "well, okay then, next year do weekly check ins to make sure your brain is not being a tool" AH-HAH. I don't exactly know, probably won't for a few weeks if this is it, but it feels right.
Also brains are stupid and I want a full refund.
(no subject)
Date: 2016-09-20 11:43 pm (UTC)I definitely read you on that one.
I am happy to note that you have garden peppers, a good braintwin, some good talks and bits of routine, and lots of T-shirts for crafty cleverness, though. Those are all pretty awesome.