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Aug. 29th, 2016 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeAnd we're down to the wire, so my brain is of course tossing things at me that I should have done/haven't yet done/oh my god oh my god you suck why isn't this a thing/etc. I swear, I get about an hour of peace, maybe more if I'm doing something that requires more concentration, and then there's this high pitched "eeeeeeee" of worry that starts again. Fucksake. Anxiety. Fucking quit it. I don't even know if this could be counted as clinical anxiety or nerves, I don't care, go awaaaaaay.
Ugh. What do I have though. I have my two nifty PinupGirl tops and my pairs of pants for Peggy Carter, and my red Peggy Carter blouse, and a hat, and her sunglasses. And Abby's stuff. And America Chavez's stuff. I haven't packed underwear or everyday clothes because I'm wearing them but I'll probably toss in a load of laundry tonight and pack those because then I'll just have to have the clothes I'm wearing Tuesday. And a trash bag in the suitcase for dirty laundry, come to think of it. Maybe a handful of them. I have all my postcards and may order proof copies tonight to have at DragonCon. I have all my notes printed up for all my panels, my Deli Counter books, I have basically everything except the food in the fridge and the clothes printed up so, yeah. And I'm about as prepped as I'm going to get for panels. So screaming fire engine in my head can suck it. Seriously, the only thing I'm doing last minute this time is sewing. Well, and I need to get up a Helix post tonight so I can get 1x04 on Monday and be vaguely on time for the rest of them. But eh.
And trim my nails. I definitely need to trim my nails.
Oof. Maybe the thing of the day is to just work on cleaning off my workstation, do exercises every so often, and work on the next projects to do writingwise. Naturally, now that I've taken the time to do things properly and find a tutorial and all, the books look better as a result, which means I'm much more exciting about finishing a thing and putting it out there. I think at this point, well, ugh, okay, I know why I do this. It doesn't irritate me any less that I have to go through this process? Fear fear fear EXTRA fear because there's a new thing, so much fear that I can't stand it, I have to do the bare minimum and fling it away from me as hard as possible. And then wait for six months to a year before I can try again, or try fixing it so it's not the bare minimum. Repeat.
Although at least as far as the structure of the book goes, I might be done with new things and that cycle of fear for now. As far as promoting things go, that'll always be hard and if I end up doing some other new avenue of promotion I'll do THAT whole cycle of fear but the rest of it should be good. Maybe? I hope? I hope.
Summation: have figured out self-publishing like a grown-up. Have already figured out the write-a-novel part of it with as big leaps as I'm going to get, now it's just the improving slowly over time part, which lasts from now till I drop dead hopefully at a ripe triple digit age while out in my garden or something. Elsewise, have no idea what I'm doing. Also, DragonCon is making my brain into wet moldy apple mush. I'mma go do the thing.
(Is anyone else on my flist coming to DragonCon? Other than the ones I already know I mean. What up, folks?)
Ugh. What do I have though. I have my two nifty PinupGirl tops and my pairs of pants for Peggy Carter, and my red Peggy Carter blouse, and a hat, and her sunglasses. And Abby's stuff. And America Chavez's stuff. I haven't packed underwear or everyday clothes because I'm wearing them but I'll probably toss in a load of laundry tonight and pack those because then I'll just have to have the clothes I'm wearing Tuesday. And a trash bag in the suitcase for dirty laundry, come to think of it. Maybe a handful of them. I have all my postcards and may order proof copies tonight to have at DragonCon. I have all my notes printed up for all my panels, my Deli Counter books, I have basically everything except the food in the fridge and the clothes printed up so, yeah. And I'm about as prepped as I'm going to get for panels. So screaming fire engine in my head can suck it. Seriously, the only thing I'm doing last minute this time is sewing. Well, and I need to get up a Helix post tonight so I can get 1x04 on Monday and be vaguely on time for the rest of them. But eh.
And trim my nails. I definitely need to trim my nails.
Oof. Maybe the thing of the day is to just work on cleaning off my workstation, do exercises every so often, and work on the next projects to do writingwise. Naturally, now that I've taken the time to do things properly and find a tutorial and all, the books look better as a result, which means I'm much more exciting about finishing a thing and putting it out there. I think at this point, well, ugh, okay, I know why I do this. It doesn't irritate me any less that I have to go through this process? Fear fear fear EXTRA fear because there's a new thing, so much fear that I can't stand it, I have to do the bare minimum and fling it away from me as hard as possible. And then wait for six months to a year before I can try again, or try fixing it so it's not the bare minimum. Repeat.
Although at least as far as the structure of the book goes, I might be done with new things and that cycle of fear for now. As far as promoting things go, that'll always be hard and if I end up doing some other new avenue of promotion I'll do THAT whole cycle of fear but the rest of it should be good. Maybe? I hope? I hope.
Summation: have figured out self-publishing like a grown-up. Have already figured out the write-a-novel part of it with as big leaps as I'm going to get, now it's just the improving slowly over time part, which lasts from now till I drop dead hopefully at a ripe triple digit age while out in my garden or something. Elsewise, have no idea what I'm doing. Also, DragonCon is making my brain into wet moldy apple mush. I'mma go do the thing.
(Is anyone else on my flist coming to DragonCon? Other than the ones I already know I mean. What up, folks?)