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Jun. 3rd, 2016 12:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeSo, if I abruptly explode, decide you hate me, decide I hate you because look what you did how dare you, burst into tears, any or all of the above, some other abrupt thing? It's not you, it's me. This morning in rapid succession the boy told me about a sexual assault and robbery on a 70 year old woman about a mile or less? from his parents' place. Where his Mom is in that age range and lives with his by and large only nominally mobile father who has a host of his own physical problems and. And after THAT there was him reading aloud to me the most recent facebook entries of a Cincinnati friend of ours, his marriage anniversary to his late husband was around our birthdays so we'd all get a sheet cake and go to a restaurant and go to Dave and Busters, that was the start of that tradition. We used to RP with them too, they were awesome. And then the husband died, very abruptly and not quite in his sleep but in one of those stand up get out of bed fall over ways? Ever since then D has been pretty much a wreck, and now he's started a countdown clock in a very talky, I'd say loud but it's over text so, blatant? way. And I got to hear these entries. We discussed who had his current address and if we could send the police over to do a wellness check on the day of, and if it was on any kind of anniversary that we knew of. And ... I'd say I'm calm? But I'm mostly only calm, as I noticed when I started getting inflamingly cranky for no solid reason, in a surface way. I haven't exploded into tears or wanted to punch things [more than I already do, I mean, US politics, dude] or anything. I'm calm but underneath is a whole I don't even know what. So, yeah, that's going on, and if you skip the entire under the cut stuff, there is Life Stuff going on (not me or any immediately present people) that sucks in some uncommonly awful ways.
I was having such a good morning too. I'd had a productive night, I'd started Blue Exorcist again and this time managed to follow it through several episodes, I'd done some frankly pretty awesome makeup this morning, and then this bullshit. Because the universe is a cruel capricious fucker.
Happier things. Before I scream. Blue Exorcist! The constant flinging around of the name 'Satan' is very weird, but other than that it's a lot of fun. The kids are all ridiculous and ickle demon hunters and it's silly and good for background noise while I study languages. I also read a bit of Trigun last night, which continues to amuse. Did not get around to Karen Memory. Did remember that I also started The Boy From Reactor 4. Because... reasons, I don't know.
Writing is going well, except for the part where I have to look up Nazi war criminal case law and other US case law on competency, dementia, etc, for the story. Today, of all days, I decided to do that, but now I only partly regret it. Also ... oh hell, also I'm opening up a whole other shitload of legal worms that ... now I have to untangle, but at least that's less looking up case law and more figuring out how that works in my world. It isn't even the first time I've had to do it either. Just. This is going to get interesting. And boring. Legalese yay.
I need to also research drying herbs in the oven, because I know me, I have too many projects going, I'm not going to be able to repurpose the window screens into drying racks anytime soon. As nice as that would be. But the garden is coming along, something's nibbling at the lettuce but not entirely destroying it (squirrels?) and the tomatoes are blooming and the cucumbers are fucking everywhere. I need to put cages around those and tell them to vine UP not out. The pepper plants are growing but not fast enough for my taste. Grow faster, pepper plants. And the carrots are sprouting, though the onions remain stubbornly asleep. Bastards.
I got the pattern for the Peggy Carter costume draft last night, the first pattern I wanted because the second was completely gone. Slightly more expensive since those patterns weren't on sale this week but oh well. I didn't find any red brocade to line the Nyssa costume, boo, but I found some online that I'll pick up when I get paid next week. And. I have a lot of stuff to do to keep me busy. This weekend is web design push and possibly editing push. I'll be fine. Really.
Also today's national donut day, but since the boy did not know this and didn't bring me home any donuts I will be celebrating with an eclair. Because fancy. Or something.
ETA: Two eclairs. Because you know what I just realized, what the other other other fun thing about the whole bullshit under the cut is? I remember sounding like that! I remember when that was my inner monologue! I didn't want to remember! Certainly not while I'm getting ready for work with no warning! But here we are! And now I'm still teetering on the edge! Yay! But I have eclairs. Eclairs good.
I was having such a good morning too. I'd had a productive night, I'd started Blue Exorcist again and this time managed to follow it through several episodes, I'd done some frankly pretty awesome makeup this morning, and then this bullshit. Because the universe is a cruel capricious fucker.
Happier things. Before I scream. Blue Exorcist! The constant flinging around of the name 'Satan' is very weird, but other than that it's a lot of fun. The kids are all ridiculous and ickle demon hunters and it's silly and good for background noise while I study languages. I also read a bit of Trigun last night, which continues to amuse. Did not get around to Karen Memory. Did remember that I also started The Boy From Reactor 4. Because... reasons, I don't know.
Writing is going well, except for the part where I have to look up Nazi war criminal case law and other US case law on competency, dementia, etc, for the story. Today, of all days, I decided to do that, but now I only partly regret it. Also ... oh hell, also I'm opening up a whole other shitload of legal worms that ... now I have to untangle, but at least that's less looking up case law and more figuring out how that works in my world. It isn't even the first time I've had to do it either. Just. This is going to get interesting. And boring. Legalese yay.
I need to also research drying herbs in the oven, because I know me, I have too many projects going, I'm not going to be able to repurpose the window screens into drying racks anytime soon. As nice as that would be. But the garden is coming along, something's nibbling at the lettuce but not entirely destroying it (squirrels?) and the tomatoes are blooming and the cucumbers are fucking everywhere. I need to put cages around those and tell them to vine UP not out. The pepper plants are growing but not fast enough for my taste. Grow faster, pepper plants. And the carrots are sprouting, though the onions remain stubbornly asleep. Bastards.
I got the pattern for the Peggy Carter costume draft last night, the first pattern I wanted because the second was completely gone. Slightly more expensive since those patterns weren't on sale this week but oh well. I didn't find any red brocade to line the Nyssa costume, boo, but I found some online that I'll pick up when I get paid next week. And. I have a lot of stuff to do to keep me busy. This weekend is web design push and possibly editing push. I'll be fine. Really.
Also today's national donut day, but since the boy did not know this and didn't bring me home any donuts I will be celebrating with an eclair. Because fancy. Or something.
ETA: Two eclairs. Because you know what I just realized, what the other other other fun thing about the whole bullshit under the cut is? I remember sounding like that! I remember when that was my inner monologue! I didn't want to remember! Certainly not while I'm getting ready for work with no warning! But here we are! And now I'm still teetering on the edge! Yay! But I have eclairs. Eclairs good.