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May. 25th, 2016 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeDoing somewhat better today. Had a ... not really a fight with the boy? I freaked out, he got impatient, then we both calmed down and talked it over. He doesn't think it's likely that Trump will become president (urk) over a Republican congress (URK URK), I think it's way more likely than he thinks and it makes me profoundly uncomfortable to the tune of at least one of the branches of my family abruptly stops for precisely this kind of scenario and I'm sure that's what they said in Germany, Poland, Spain, Argentina, Chile, I could go on. And did. At length. We didn't really reach any conclusions because, well, the elections haven't happened yet and there's several months to go, who the fuck knows. He did promise to hide me in an attic, which I think was his way of saying I get that you're scared, I get why, we'll figure something out if we have to.
I did at least go to bed having written something and hopefully having kicked that back into gear, since I started the morning also writing something. At the very least I went to bed not hysterical, which was a plus over most of yesterday.
(Is there a good word to describe completely fucking incapable of controlling the sobbing or the surging emotions that doesn't put down the person either for having the fit or for deciding that X is cause to do so? I like hysterical because it encompasses the degree of lack of control I feel when I get like that, but ugh the connotations/history of it.)
I'm still getting my passport renewed though. If nothing else, maybe we can take a trip up to Stratford for the festival someday. Or some other overseas trip to a country the boy is allowed to go to (past employment with the NSA type stuff long story).
In the meantime, today I'm stable enough to say "okay I'm making a folder of contingency plans and saving money but until then fuck you trump I live my life as I choose." We'll see how stable tomorrow is.
Roomie has passed one of two tests to graduate, today is the second and I don't know if I'll see her after but yay! Some of the second round of tomato seeds I planted have grown, some have not, so there should be some seed planting tonight when I get home. No capoeira because my back still fucking twitches. I am fucking going on saturday whether my back wants to cooperate or no, first it was the head cold, then it was my back, I am sick of this. Also there will be exercise tonight after gardening because I fucking say so. But other than that, things seem to be slowly getting back on track? Very slowly. Very, very slowly. Still sick of what feel to me like excuses and what probably look like to anyone outside my head and with logic look like a string of bad luck reasons why I can't do all the things I normally do. Ugh ugh.
... actually, to that end, let's keep another list today. Why not.
I did at least go to bed having written something and hopefully having kicked that back into gear, since I started the morning also writing something. At the very least I went to bed not hysterical, which was a plus over most of yesterday.
(Is there a good word to describe completely fucking incapable of controlling the sobbing or the surging emotions that doesn't put down the person either for having the fit or for deciding that X is cause to do so? I like hysterical because it encompasses the degree of lack of control I feel when I get like that, but ugh the connotations/history of it.)
I'm still getting my passport renewed though. If nothing else, maybe we can take a trip up to Stratford for the festival someday. Or some other overseas trip to a country the boy is allowed to go to (past employment with the NSA type stuff long story).
In the meantime, today I'm stable enough to say "okay I'm making a folder of contingency plans and saving money but until then fuck you trump I live my life as I choose." We'll see how stable tomorrow is.
Roomie has passed one of two tests to graduate, today is the second and I don't know if I'll see her after but yay! Some of the second round of tomato seeds I planted have grown, some have not, so there should be some seed planting tonight when I get home. No capoeira because my back still fucking twitches. I am fucking going on saturday whether my back wants to cooperate or no, first it was the head cold, then it was my back, I am sick of this. Also there will be exercise tonight after gardening because I fucking say so. But other than that, things seem to be slowly getting back on track? Very slowly. Very, very slowly. Still sick of what feel to me like excuses and what probably look like to anyone outside my head and with logic look like a string of bad luck reasons why I can't do all the things I normally do. Ugh ugh.
... actually, to that end, let's keep another list today. Why not.
ugh, Trump.
Date: 2016-05-25 07:14 pm (UTC)Trump is such a tire fire
Date: 2016-05-25 07:22 pm (UTC)Re: Trump is such a tire fire
Date: 2016-05-25 07:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2016-05-28 08:20 pm (UTC)