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Jan. 21st, 2016 10:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeAnd lo, everything was quiet downtown again because fuck no is anyone going out if they don't have to right now. It's supposed to be okay during the day and then start pouring down icky precipitation towards evening, whether that's rain or sleet or snow no one seems to be entirely sure? But any precipitation = slick mountain roads. No.
This doesn't necessarily translate to quiet work back here because people can still call up or place mail orders, and they have, but so far so good?
The only problem with things being deathly winter slow at work is then I have to do the balancing act of focusing and working on writing work, etc, while at my day job and therefore potentially subjectable to day jobligations at any point. And if I were a self-sustaining writer working from home and my brain was in this much of a scramble working at ten different things at once, I could take five minutes and breathe and knock myself down to one task at a time. But since I'm at work I have to be available to answer the phone if it rings, label and stock things, and generally pay ambient attention while I'm trying to cope with some emotional fallout (good fallout! but augh!) juggle which project comes next, kick back the worked up excitement of successfully working another hobby a few minutes ago because I didn't have much else to do while I minded the front of the store, and about ten other things. All jarring their rough edges against each other. Not good.
I suppose the plus side is, I seem to have hit a smooth patch of coasting in the drawing practice? Alternating between tumblr tutorials and Drawspace tutorials, the latter being good for slow, systematic building of skills and the former being good whenever I get impatient and want to jump ahead ten steps to complex objects. Like people. Aheh. This is probably at least partly influenced by the fact that my jazz appreciation class is awesome except for the nonfunctioning software bit. The teacher knows, though, so that's fine. Immunology... is immunology. I need to make sense of it tonight and/or tomorrow though.
Writing, god, I need to make more time for writing and I don't know where the hell I'm going to get it from. Or maybe I just need more realistic due dates? Or something. More focus? I honestly don't know, but I'm looking at everything I'm juggling (three novels at the moment) and going ALL OF THESE ARE LATE WHY. Maybe this is the anxiety fit I didn't have last year when I blew past that deadline. I don't wike it.
Stress. That's what it is, I'm stressed and a lot of the stress is of my own making and I need to calm the fuck down and re-prioritize more than re-schedule. Breathe.
And it's not all terrible. I do have an excellent book I'm reading, I guess I'm a day late for a Wednesday Reads post but I can manage one of them here shortly. I think mostly I just need to stop working myself up over everything that I'm doing, make things more realistic, and calm the hell down. This is entirely self-inflicted, so I can uninflict it if I need to. So let's try that, hmm? Self? With the less pressure and the remembering to take a breath, take it easy, stop trying to do all of the things at once? We remember how to do that, yes?
(No, no we possibly don't, and I told you that forgetting how to take a break now and again would have consequences. Didn't I say? Yes I did.)
All right. Let's see how the rest of this day goes. I feel like there's a joke here, something about I have made the most brilliant courtesan of the modern age / you've fucked up a perfectly good woman that's what you've done, look at her she's got anxiety. You know what, that'll do for now. Let's see if I can undo some of the damage I've done to my poor brain.
ETA: Of course that means today is the day the brother-in-sort-of-law emails me about whatever writing he wanted. Of course. *bangs head on desk* I give up I'm fucking moving to Belize.
This doesn't necessarily translate to quiet work back here because people can still call up or place mail orders, and they have, but so far so good?
The only problem with things being deathly winter slow at work is then I have to do the balancing act of focusing and working on writing work, etc, while at my day job and therefore potentially subjectable to day jobligations at any point. And if I were a self-sustaining writer working from home and my brain was in this much of a scramble working at ten different things at once, I could take five minutes and breathe and knock myself down to one task at a time. But since I'm at work I have to be available to answer the phone if it rings, label and stock things, and generally pay ambient attention while I'm trying to cope with some emotional fallout (good fallout! but augh!) juggle which project comes next, kick back the worked up excitement of successfully working another hobby a few minutes ago because I didn't have much else to do while I minded the front of the store, and about ten other things. All jarring their rough edges against each other. Not good.
I suppose the plus side is, I seem to have hit a smooth patch of coasting in the drawing practice? Alternating between tumblr tutorials and Drawspace tutorials, the latter being good for slow, systematic building of skills and the former being good whenever I get impatient and want to jump ahead ten steps to complex objects. Like people. Aheh. This is probably at least partly influenced by the fact that my jazz appreciation class is awesome except for the nonfunctioning software bit. The teacher knows, though, so that's fine. Immunology... is immunology. I need to make sense of it tonight and/or tomorrow though.
Writing, god, I need to make more time for writing and I don't know where the hell I'm going to get it from. Or maybe I just need more realistic due dates? Or something. More focus? I honestly don't know, but I'm looking at everything I'm juggling (three novels at the moment) and going ALL OF THESE ARE LATE WHY. Maybe this is the anxiety fit I didn't have last year when I blew past that deadline. I don't wike it.
Stress. That's what it is, I'm stressed and a lot of the stress is of my own making and I need to calm the fuck down and re-prioritize more than re-schedule. Breathe.
And it's not all terrible. I do have an excellent book I'm reading, I guess I'm a day late for a Wednesday Reads post but I can manage one of them here shortly. I think mostly I just need to stop working myself up over everything that I'm doing, make things more realistic, and calm the hell down. This is entirely self-inflicted, so I can uninflict it if I need to. So let's try that, hmm? Self? With the less pressure and the remembering to take a breath, take it easy, stop trying to do all of the things at once? We remember how to do that, yes?
(No, no we possibly don't, and I told you that forgetting how to take a break now and again would have consequences. Didn't I say? Yes I did.)
All right. Let's see how the rest of this day goes. I feel like there's a joke here, something about I have made the most brilliant courtesan of the modern age / you've fucked up a perfectly good woman that's what you've done, look at her she's got anxiety. You know what, that'll do for now. Let's see if I can undo some of the damage I've done to my poor brain.
ETA: Of course that means today is the day the brother-in-sort-of-law emails me about whatever writing he wanted. Of course. *bangs head on desk* I give up I'm fucking moving to Belize.