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Jan. 15th, 2016 10:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI think I've given up accepting an absence of alive!Bowie (made easier by the fact that he wasn't as active in the last five years, so there's no expectation of him being active, just a sense of peace that he's out there somewhere) and have instead accepted that I will be happily in denial possibly for the rest of my life. He's still out there somewhere, I just need the right super-rate components for the summoning spell.
I'm so tired. Between the deaths this week including one in the sort of extended family (an in-law of a sibling/cousin? of an uncle) and the pushing myself to deadline and the going back to capoeira, I'm just exhausted. And twitchy. Very twitchy because I keep waiting for the next fucking death to hit and on guard and that's not helping, that's not spoons I can freely fling around, and I have no idea how to turn it off. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I saw so many "quick, surround [this person] with a protective shield" type tweets yesterday. We're all looking at our other aging or in poor health idols and wondering, oh fuck are they next? We barely had time to grieve David Bowie and suddenly Alan Rickman and no, most of us didn't even meet them, never knew them, but they were such a big part of our lives regardless and it hurts. Argh.
I did manage to finish the Justice course, I scraped through on a passing grade despite my poor study habits. Most hilarious about that was I actually did better on the Aristotle part, despite not having listened to the lectures yet (that's today), largely because I've read and discussed Aristotle before and Dead Greeks tend to have a very distinctive philosophy style. And if you just pictured Eliot Spencer saying "It's a very distinctive style" you're not alone.
I'm tired. My heart hurts. I've got piles of stuff to do at work, all of them small and fiddly and annoying and why. I've got piles of stuff to do regardless. I should keep working on something, possibly Will Shakespeare: A Play. I might start rewatching all the video of the plays involved I can get my hands on. If it were much else I would start re-reading the books, except they're not books, they're plays. They're meant to be performed. So. Making a list. Rewatching. Possibly re-reading and performing all the parts myself but that might be a bit much.
But I guess I am slowly getting things done. I managed to put up a blog post about not being afraid of making mistakes based on recent struggles with doing regular drawing practice. (Regular anything has gone out the window this week, but.) I'm getting my Duolingo done, I've got some day job work to do but not so much that I can't get writing done as well around everything. I might end up posting a done-did list here just to remind myself of that. It'll be okay. I'll sleep a lot tonight since a lot of my deadlines are done and get up tomorrow and do capoeira and come home and it'll be okay.
Oh! and I woke up this morning to discover that the boy had done a fair amount of cleaning in the living room in addition to his usual chores of dishes and laundry, so that was good and heartwarming to see.
I'm so tired. Between the deaths this week including one in the sort of extended family (an in-law of a sibling/cousin? of an uncle) and the pushing myself to deadline and the going back to capoeira, I'm just exhausted. And twitchy. Very twitchy because I keep waiting for the next fucking death to hit and on guard and that's not helping, that's not spoons I can freely fling around, and I have no idea how to turn it off. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I saw so many "quick, surround [this person] with a protective shield" type tweets yesterday. We're all looking at our other aging or in poor health idols and wondering, oh fuck are they next? We barely had time to grieve David Bowie and suddenly Alan Rickman and no, most of us didn't even meet them, never knew them, but they were such a big part of our lives regardless and it hurts. Argh.
I did manage to finish the Justice course, I scraped through on a passing grade despite my poor study habits. Most hilarious about that was I actually did better on the Aristotle part, despite not having listened to the lectures yet (that's today), largely because I've read and discussed Aristotle before and Dead Greeks tend to have a very distinctive philosophy style. And if you just pictured Eliot Spencer saying "It's a very distinctive style" you're not alone.
I'm tired. My heart hurts. I've got piles of stuff to do at work, all of them small and fiddly and annoying and why. I've got piles of stuff to do regardless. I should keep working on something, possibly Will Shakespeare: A Play. I might start rewatching all the video of the plays involved I can get my hands on. If it were much else I would start re-reading the books, except they're not books, they're plays. They're meant to be performed. So. Making a list. Rewatching. Possibly re-reading and performing all the parts myself but that might be a bit much.
But I guess I am slowly getting things done. I managed to put up a blog post about not being afraid of making mistakes based on recent struggles with doing regular drawing practice. (Regular anything has gone out the window this week, but.) I'm getting my Duolingo done, I've got some day job work to do but not so much that I can't get writing done as well around everything. I might end up posting a done-did list here just to remind myself of that. It'll be okay. I'll sleep a lot tonight since a lot of my deadlines are done and get up tomorrow and do capoeira and come home and it'll be okay.
Oh! and I woke up this morning to discover that the boy had done a fair amount of cleaning in the living room in addition to his usual chores of dishes and laundry, so that was good and heartwarming to see.