(no subject)
Dec. 1st, 2015 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeSo, I finished Nano with half a draft in chunks and pieces of Long Road, and at some point maybe starting mid- or early January I'm going to pick it up and finish it again. Edits first. I still have no idea what's causing this miasma, if it's the stress of edits plus Nano, if it's a complete and utter lack of sales (predictable, nothing I can do about that) if it's the stress of imminent promotion needed (also predictable, need better coping mechanisms) if it's the stress of imminent print publication (also predictable, see previous), if it's stress carried over from unrelated stuff (probably money, always money, in this specific case money to do flashing on the roof since I opted for getting things that make our lives a little more comfortable [one of which broke and now has to be returned UGH] and fixing the flashing in a month or two), if it's that I should be getting more sleep than I do (possible, given that I'm still on 6hrs and usually up that to 7 for time change) and ugh.
I should probably start getting the extra hour of sleep anyway. That might knock down some of the... what's the step below weasels? Is it the rodentia gnawing on your brainwires? Because that's what it feels like, a bit, something sparks and there's a moment of AUGH [insert intrusive thought here] and then I'm left with the aftermath or a slight power drain, but not enough to really be called a weasel. And I shake my head and keep going. Fucking rodents. Gnawing on my brain wires. And maintenance isn't keeping up with the repairs. Which might have something to do with maintenance working overtime for this time of the year. Heh.
I wish I could be surprised that Sarkeesian thought Jessica Jones was bad and disappointing and didn't live up to potential, but I'm not. I mean, Fury Road and Jessica Jones: What do these things have in common? (Apart from I loved them.) Women in traditional masculine roles! Women who are gloriously, blatantly fucked up. Women who have pulled themselves together after being fucked up and are dealing with the damage in ways anywhere from blunt and aggressive to openly violent. Because apparently... women can't/shouldn't/shouldn't be seen to do that? Because let me tell you if I was subject to that kind of trauma given my past reactions to less intense kinds of trauma I would totally turn into Furiosa. Does that make me a bad, wrong, or invalid woman?
(Let that prediction stand as a correlated prediction of what happens if you say that makes me a bad, wrong, or invalid woman.)
Ugh, I'm also tired because Christmas in retail. It's not even that bad yet, but ugh. The rest of December is pretty much going to be work and edits. Which actually means I'd better take the writing daily on Habitica down a level to maybe only 500 words/day. And then figure out what the hell I'm using those words on, because I have no idea. I need to... I need to write down what I'm going to work on is what I need to do.
* Writing - background for Pretender Sidhe
* Edits - White Lightning
* Edits - Sandborn
* Blogging - Haven 2x11
* Physics
* Arabic
* Hindi
* Japanese
* Bread/Cookie/etc making
(Did I mention I got a kitchenaid? I got a kitchenaid. That is one of the things I got as part of the get things that will make our lives easier, and that is not the broken thing, which was a heated mattress pad [*SOBS*]. It is however the thing that is still in the box that I need to make come out of the box and be useful soon. Or at least it had better be or I really will have a freakout about I spent how much money on this.) (That's how my brain has been lately, literally everyone I've talked to says a kitchenaid stand mixer is the next thing to having a tiny everlasting kitchen god and it is totally worth the money, and my brain is still going BUT YOU ARE SPENDING $ALASKA ALL AT ONCE HOW DARE YOU.)
* Read some damn books, woman
* Sweater
* Final exam for Western Civ, finish the Ceregos
* Design project for Western Civ, no clue what that'll be
* Catch up on Terrorism/Anti Terrorism, Justice. Other online courses?
* Find time for official sit-down drawing practice
* Make a space in knitting bag for sketchbook/space in pen case for pencils for impromptu drawing practice
* Crunch time factors to see if maybe there's room for music practice on weekends (most likely after blogging in real time stops happening)
Anyway. I guess that's mostly it. Getting back into routines post-Nano, well, at this point just the last week of Nano thankfully, and while battling whatever form of bronchitis the boy may or may not be carrying and dealing with retail hell at Christmas, working on upkeeping everything. I've been doing good at still going to capoeira, this winter solstice will mark six months. Which is weird, it feels like I'm still stuck at the stage of oh god do I have to yes you do it'll make you feel better, and like it hasn't sunk into routines yet. Not sure what's up with that, maybe just the disruption around DragonCon and then falling sick.
I also need to clean out the binder I've been using to store stuff and make sure everything that's still in there actually needs to be in there, as opposed to is lurking in there because I haven't put it away yet. And clean out the office, but the boy has promised we will do that together in a couple of weekends so, self, that is when we will do the cleaning and the filing. Calm the fuck down about putting your notes anywhere, please and thank you.
Basically my brain is getting really good at continuously coming up with ways I fail, ways I suck, ways I don't actually matter the way I think I do and am easily replaced which is in fact in process, despite chugging along at myriad activities and other things and generally functioning outwardly and even somewhat inwardly, despite that, as normal. I do not know what the fuck is going on but I would like the mice to stop chewing on the fucking wires.
I should probably start getting the extra hour of sleep anyway. That might knock down some of the... what's the step below weasels? Is it the rodentia gnawing on your brainwires? Because that's what it feels like, a bit, something sparks and there's a moment of AUGH [insert intrusive thought here] and then I'm left with the aftermath or a slight power drain, but not enough to really be called a weasel. And I shake my head and keep going. Fucking rodents. Gnawing on my brain wires. And maintenance isn't keeping up with the repairs. Which might have something to do with maintenance working overtime for this time of the year. Heh.
I wish I could be surprised that Sarkeesian thought Jessica Jones was bad and disappointing and didn't live up to potential, but I'm not. I mean, Fury Road and Jessica Jones: What do these things have in common? (Apart from I loved them.) Women in traditional masculine roles! Women who are gloriously, blatantly fucked up. Women who have pulled themselves together after being fucked up and are dealing with the damage in ways anywhere from blunt and aggressive to openly violent. Because apparently... women can't/shouldn't/shouldn't be seen to do that? Because let me tell you if I was subject to that kind of trauma given my past reactions to less intense kinds of trauma I would totally turn into Furiosa. Does that make me a bad, wrong, or invalid woman?
(Let that prediction stand as a correlated prediction of what happens if you say that makes me a bad, wrong, or invalid woman.)
Ugh, I'm also tired because Christmas in retail. It's not even that bad yet, but ugh. The rest of December is pretty much going to be work and edits. Which actually means I'd better take the writing daily on Habitica down a level to maybe only 500 words/day. And then figure out what the hell I'm using those words on, because I have no idea. I need to... I need to write down what I'm going to work on is what I need to do.
* Writing - background for Pretender Sidhe
* Edits - White Lightning
* Edits - Sandborn
* Blogging - Haven 2x11
* Physics
* Arabic
* Hindi
* Japanese
* Bread/Cookie/etc making
(Did I mention I got a kitchenaid? I got a kitchenaid. That is one of the things I got as part of the get things that will make our lives easier, and that is not the broken thing, which was a heated mattress pad [*SOBS*]. It is however the thing that is still in the box that I need to make come out of the box and be useful soon. Or at least it had better be or I really will have a freakout about I spent how much money on this.) (That's how my brain has been lately, literally everyone I've talked to says a kitchenaid stand mixer is the next thing to having a tiny everlasting kitchen god and it is totally worth the money, and my brain is still going BUT YOU ARE SPENDING $ALASKA ALL AT ONCE HOW DARE YOU.)
* Read some damn books, woman
* Sweater
* Final exam for Western Civ, finish the Ceregos
* Design project for Western Civ, no clue what that'll be
* Catch up on Terrorism/Anti Terrorism, Justice. Other online courses?
* Find time for official sit-down drawing practice
* Make a space in knitting bag for sketchbook/space in pen case for pencils for impromptu drawing practice
* Crunch time factors to see if maybe there's room for music practice on weekends (most likely after blogging in real time stops happening)
Anyway. I guess that's mostly it. Getting back into routines post-Nano, well, at this point just the last week of Nano thankfully, and while battling whatever form of bronchitis the boy may or may not be carrying and dealing with retail hell at Christmas, working on upkeeping everything. I've been doing good at still going to capoeira, this winter solstice will mark six months. Which is weird, it feels like I'm still stuck at the stage of oh god do I have to yes you do it'll make you feel better, and like it hasn't sunk into routines yet. Not sure what's up with that, maybe just the disruption around DragonCon and then falling sick.
I also need to clean out the binder I've been using to store stuff and make sure everything that's still in there actually needs to be in there, as opposed to is lurking in there because I haven't put it away yet. And clean out the office, but the boy has promised we will do that together in a couple of weekends so, self, that is when we will do the cleaning and the filing. Calm the fuck down about putting your notes anywhere, please and thank you.
Basically my brain is getting really good at continuously coming up with ways I fail, ways I suck, ways I don't actually matter the way I think I do and am easily replaced which is in fact in process, despite chugging along at myriad activities and other things and generally functioning outwardly and even somewhat inwardly, despite that, as normal. I do not know what the fuck is going on but I would like the mice to stop chewing on the fucking wires.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-12-02 12:20 am (UTC)You got a kitchenaid! People say those things are amazing. It sounds amazing. Someday I will have the kitchen space for one. Kitchen space and money. Someday.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-12-02 12:46 am (UTC)I did! I finally went ahead and admitted that I probably would use it enough to justify laying down the money for one (definitely hit up a sale oh my the ulp-inducing cost) especially since they apparently last for freaking ever. The one up at the farm that my aunts and uncles have, that finally kicked me into doing it, is actually older than I am and still going strong.