(no subject)
Oct. 19th, 2015 07:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI think I actually woke up feeling more anxious than I was last night. That's kind of impressive considering I managed to spend most of yesterday in a couch-bound stupor. And today I'm completely unable to focus or decide anything, to the end result that I spent about thirty minutes staring at Netflix wondering what to put on for background noise as I at least attempted to get some Japanese done. I'm not sure what this bodes for the rest of the day but it doesn't sound good.
We might find out today what's going on, but the boy says we might not find out till Wednesday now, and, ugh. I don't know what to do to alleviate this stress, if there is anything. Everything moves sluggish in my head. One day at a time, I guess that's all I can do. Verb conjugations. I could always practice my short forms in Japanese and their uses, that's simple and relatively easy to process. Hindi mapping sounds to letters. Shit like that.
Cat report is that I saw Cassius and Barton this morning, and Little Bit came for breakfast and hung back some, but then the other two left and did let her get in a few bites. Not entirely sure what I'm going to do when I run out of stale food for the raccoon, but I guess I'll cross that bridge, etc. Maybe I really will fill a water gun with tabasco sauce or something and squirt the silly beast when it comes out. Or maybe it won't. It was fucking freezing today and I didn't stick around long enough to see if there was a raccoon or not.
And today. We'll see what I get done today? Hot leaf juice happened last night and I slept pretty hard and solid, so you'd think I would be rested, except I guess the stress kind of balances that out in the other direction. So now I'm just tired and I want to curl up on the couch and watch The Blacklist all day and do not much of anything. Yay stress. Stress stress stress. And uncertainty, which is one of the biggest sources of stress for just about anything, you can get used to a grinding routine in some ways, you can learn to find small joys, but uncertainty is a mind-killer almost more than fear.
One day at a time. My job remains intact, and will for some time by the sound of it, we have a safety net. We'll be okay. The heat's on, and we're paying a flat fee for it so it's more affordable in winter if not as much of a drop in summer as one might want. We have savings. We'll be okay. We'll muddle through, and we'll be okay, and it might not even be so bad as to come to that, as far as we know. And we're back to the whole uncertainty is worse than anything. So. One day at a time. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. All that jazz.
We might find out today what's going on, but the boy says we might not find out till Wednesday now, and, ugh. I don't know what to do to alleviate this stress, if there is anything. Everything moves sluggish in my head. One day at a time, I guess that's all I can do. Verb conjugations. I could always practice my short forms in Japanese and their uses, that's simple and relatively easy to process. Hindi mapping sounds to letters. Shit like that.
Cat report is that I saw Cassius and Barton this morning, and Little Bit came for breakfast and hung back some, but then the other two left and did let her get in a few bites. Not entirely sure what I'm going to do when I run out of stale food for the raccoon, but I guess I'll cross that bridge, etc. Maybe I really will fill a water gun with tabasco sauce or something and squirt the silly beast when it comes out. Or maybe it won't. It was fucking freezing today and I didn't stick around long enough to see if there was a raccoon or not.
And today. We'll see what I get done today? Hot leaf juice happened last night and I slept pretty hard and solid, so you'd think I would be rested, except I guess the stress kind of balances that out in the other direction. So now I'm just tired and I want to curl up on the couch and watch The Blacklist all day and do not much of anything. Yay stress. Stress stress stress. And uncertainty, which is one of the biggest sources of stress for just about anything, you can get used to a grinding routine in some ways, you can learn to find small joys, but uncertainty is a mind-killer almost more than fear.
One day at a time. My job remains intact, and will for some time by the sound of it, we have a safety net. We'll be okay. The heat's on, and we're paying a flat fee for it so it's more affordable in winter if not as much of a drop in summer as one might want. We have savings. We'll be okay. We'll muddle through, and we'll be okay, and it might not even be so bad as to come to that, as far as we know. And we're back to the whole uncertainty is worse than anything. So. One day at a time. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. All that jazz.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-19 04:02 pm (UTC)sends good thoughts
anxiety sucks
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-20 11:14 am (UTC)