Barrel of a gun
Feb. 19th, 2003 02:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeI feel so drained...
And it's all because of one little something I discovered in the trash bin this morning when I was taking out the trash. I can't believe I discovered it, either. It's the most unnerving thing... an empty plastic shell which used to contain a bottle of gun oil. New, too. Now, I don't know if gun oil can be used for anything but, well.. guns. Maybe it can, I don't know. But it's still unnerving. Especially considering my ex is so grumpy. He's been snooping around in my room, he watches whenever I leave the apartment, and whenever I come in. It's worrisome. I don't know what's going on, and I'm scared. Almost as much as the last time I had an ex who was acting hinky.
I should call the police. I've been advised to call the police and ask them if such and such a person has registered a firearm lately. Or applied to, or whatever. But I'm almost too scared to, and I can't seem to get up the energy to force myself to dial the number. It was all right when I didn't have the number. Now I don't have an excuse. I'm scared and almost ashamed in some way. Ashamed to be so weak and so stupid as to let myself get into this situation again. But I don't want to die because someone feels hurt and annoyed. I don't want to be shot... I've looked down the barrel of a gun before. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.
I don't know. At least work has slacked off a lot. I'll try and work up the courage to phone the police and ask them in an hour, when people around me start leaving for home. I have to do it, I know. If nothign else, it'll make me feel a little better. But I'm so tired.
Oh well.
It's going to be a Depress Mode night. Tonight, and for many nights to come. I need to expand my collection.
Wednesday
1. Write another section in novellas
Ghost
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy.
3. Write 1st chapter in Recquiesat in Pace (and check spelling on that!), Smallville fic
4.Finish section in The Little One
5.Finish Always (retitled to Dare)
6. Start Friendly Fire/Always
Thursday
1. Write another... novellas
Ghost
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy.
2. Work on anthologies (write one story each)
3. Review Gaslight's fic, assuming fanfic.net has reviews up
4. Send out WftD #4
Friday
1.Work on Mike's web page
2. Write 2nd chapter in Smallville fic, RiP, another chapter in Little One
Word count for:
Ghost: 1,386
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy: 2,045
And it's all because of one little something I discovered in the trash bin this morning when I was taking out the trash. I can't believe I discovered it, either. It's the most unnerving thing... an empty plastic shell which used to contain a bottle of gun oil. New, too. Now, I don't know if gun oil can be used for anything but, well.. guns. Maybe it can, I don't know. But it's still unnerving. Especially considering my ex is so grumpy. He's been snooping around in my room, he watches whenever I leave the apartment, and whenever I come in. It's worrisome. I don't know what's going on, and I'm scared. Almost as much as the last time I had an ex who was acting hinky.
I should call the police. I've been advised to call the police and ask them if such and such a person has registered a firearm lately. Or applied to, or whatever. But I'm almost too scared to, and I can't seem to get up the energy to force myself to dial the number. It was all right when I didn't have the number. Now I don't have an excuse. I'm scared and almost ashamed in some way. Ashamed to be so weak and so stupid as to let myself get into this situation again. But I don't want to die because someone feels hurt and annoyed. I don't want to be shot... I've looked down the barrel of a gun before. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.
I don't know. At least work has slacked off a lot. I'll try and work up the courage to phone the police and ask them in an hour, when people around me start leaving for home. I have to do it, I know. If nothign else, it'll make me feel a little better. But I'm so tired.
Oh well.
It's going to be a Depress Mode night. Tonight, and for many nights to come. I need to expand my collection.
Wednesday
1. Write another section in novellas
Ghost
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy.
3. Write 1st chapter in Recquiesat in Pace (and check spelling on that!), Smallville fic
4.
5.
6. Start Friendly Fire/Always
Thursday
1. Write another... novellas
Ghost
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy.
2. Work on anthologies (write one story each)
3. Review Gaslight's fic, assuming fanfic.net has reviews up
4. Send out WftD #4
Friday
1.
2. Write 2nd chapter in Smallville fic, RiP, another chapter in Little One
Word count for:
Ghost: 1,386
Slippage
A Sister's Mercy: 2,045
