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Jan. 22nd, 2015 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittydesadeIn the first week or so, I think it was the first week? Of 2015, my aunt told me that her hygienist, who she's known for around 25 years since when she started attending this dentist the hygienist was pregnant, with the child who is now graduating college. And now the poor woman has stage 4 melanoma. The hygienist, not the child.
In the second? Week, my Mom in law, or she might as well be, who sheltered and fed both of us for a good six years without asking for a penny in return, broke her arm to the tune of screws, plates, and casts you can beat people with. An old friend of mind also found out that her father has a melanoma, it's still pending how bad that is. I never did meet her father, but I went through most of high school knowing her and I know her family to be incredibly supportive, and ... well.
Today, it turns out, one of the aunts has some sort of blood vessel condition that's usually caused by a tumor. A cancerous tumor. One that they can't actually find so she's going into the hospital tomorrow to try and see what they can see, if they can find out what's going on. And I have this feeling of foreboding and I can't tell if it's the feeling of foreboding that results in death or just me freaking out because my grandfather died, and a neighbor to the farm/family friend died, and at least a couple friends' grandparents (mothers, mostly) have died, and can people just stop dying already? Please? For one goddamn week, is that too much to ask?
So, this foreboding thing goes like this, I say my grandfather is seeing his last winter, and he did. I dream about people's obituaries, granted, in cases where they were missing or in the hospital and the question had been arising for days, but the very next day I wake up and oh look, obituaries. I tell my mother, sobbing, that my grandmother won't live to see my high school graduation, and she dies the day before. I'd actually thought I was being hyperbolic. Turns out I was just being prescient. But with all the people potentially dying I have no idea if this is Foreboding or foreboding or too many goddamn "oh crap, something bad happened to so and so."
I'm trying to continue to get work done. This all went down at the end of the work day so that happened at least, and now I'm trying to get writing done. But I think it's more likely that I'm just going to pack it in and go to bed. And I guess everyone will find out everything over time. At least the Mom in law's only got a broken arm? And we sent a card and we've been calling, it looks like it's going well. (Recent events are making me even more freaked out, though.)
In the second? Week, my Mom in law, or she might as well be, who sheltered and fed both of us for a good six years without asking for a penny in return, broke her arm to the tune of screws, plates, and casts you can beat people with. An old friend of mind also found out that her father has a melanoma, it's still pending how bad that is. I never did meet her father, but I went through most of high school knowing her and I know her family to be incredibly supportive, and ... well.
Today, it turns out, one of the aunts has some sort of blood vessel condition that's usually caused by a tumor. A cancerous tumor. One that they can't actually find so she's going into the hospital tomorrow to try and see what they can see, if they can find out what's going on. And I have this feeling of foreboding and I can't tell if it's the feeling of foreboding that results in death or just me freaking out because my grandfather died, and a neighbor to the farm/family friend died, and at least a couple friends' grandparents (mothers, mostly) have died, and can people just stop dying already? Please? For one goddamn week, is that too much to ask?
So, this foreboding thing goes like this, I say my grandfather is seeing his last winter, and he did. I dream about people's obituaries, granted, in cases where they were missing or in the hospital and the question had been arising for days, but the very next day I wake up and oh look, obituaries. I tell my mother, sobbing, that my grandmother won't live to see my high school graduation, and she dies the day before. I'd actually thought I was being hyperbolic. Turns out I was just being prescient. But with all the people potentially dying I have no idea if this is Foreboding or foreboding or too many goddamn "oh crap, something bad happened to so and so."
I'm trying to continue to get work done. This all went down at the end of the work day so that happened at least, and now I'm trying to get writing done. But I think it's more likely that I'm just going to pack it in and go to bed. And I guess everyone will find out everything over time. At least the Mom in law's only got a broken arm? And we sent a card and we've been calling, it looks like it's going well. (Recent events are making me even more freaked out, though.)
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Date: 2015-01-23 05:23 am (UTC)