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kittydesadeSo.
Apparently there's a name for becoming severely depressed when you don't write.
It's called hypergraphia.
You know, this explains a lot of my life. A lot of my ... well, a lot of my everything. This explains a lot about the mood swings, the strange behavior, the suicidal thoughts. Adolescence explains the rest, but this explains a lot about my mood swings and occasional bout with depression since growing out of the hell that is a person's teenage years. Apparently I have a condition. Or maybe it's a derivation of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a variant on a theme. Something like that. Whatever.
I'm really not too sure what I think about this.
On the one hand, it's a relief to know that it is true, I'm not completely mad. There's a reason I get depressed when I don't write, there's a reason I feel as though I have to burble out these stories I have in my head. There's explanations behind the feelings of headtoofull, of sitting down in front of the computer and then writing my hands into spasms. It's a relief to know that this isn't a product of me just being messed up in the head... actually that's exactly what it means, but the sort of messed up I knew about and could control, not some spectral schizophrenia demon lurking just over the next psychotic break, on the dark side of the maniacally cackling moon.
On the other hand... a disease? I'm diseased because I'm creative, because I like to tell stories? Because I have a gift, at least according to half my friends and all my family, I have a disease as well? That's insulting on levels I can't even begin to describe, and I have a big vocabulary.
Maybe I should defer to the wisdom of KMFDM... see icon. "If it feels this good then it can't be wrong."
So, yeah. That's pretty much all I have to say on the subject so far. Not nearly as much as I thought it was, but there it is. I'm still turning it over in my head.
I think I'll turn it over in the shower now.
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ume_yuki, I'll be on and off all day, if Kit wants to talk to himself again.
Apparently there's a name for becoming severely depressed when you don't write.
It's called hypergraphia.
You know, this explains a lot of my life. A lot of my ... well, a lot of my everything. This explains a lot about the mood swings, the strange behavior, the suicidal thoughts. Adolescence explains the rest, but this explains a lot about my mood swings and occasional bout with depression since growing out of the hell that is a person's teenage years. Apparently I have a condition. Or maybe it's a derivation of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a variant on a theme. Something like that. Whatever.
I'm really not too sure what I think about this.
On the one hand, it's a relief to know that it is true, I'm not completely mad. There's a reason I get depressed when I don't write, there's a reason I feel as though I have to burble out these stories I have in my head. There's explanations behind the feelings of headtoofull, of sitting down in front of the computer and then writing my hands into spasms. It's a relief to know that this isn't a product of me just being messed up in the head... actually that's exactly what it means, but the sort of messed up I knew about and could control, not some spectral schizophrenia demon lurking just over the next psychotic break, on the dark side of the maniacally cackling moon.
On the other hand... a disease? I'm diseased because I'm creative, because I like to tell stories? Because I have a gift, at least according to half my friends and all my family, I have a disease as well? That's insulting on levels I can't even begin to describe, and I have a big vocabulary.
Maybe I should defer to the wisdom of KMFDM... see icon. "If it feels this good then it can't be wrong."
So, yeah. That's pretty much all I have to say on the subject so far. Not nearly as much as I thought it was, but there it is. I'm still turning it over in my head.
I think I'll turn it over in the shower now.
ume_yuki, I'll be on and off all day, if Kit wants to talk to himself again.