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Nov. 25th, 2020 09:18 pmOkay. Okay? Okay.
Love to all you who commented on my last two posts of mostly screaming. Big squishy hugs I wish I could give in person. Thank you.
Doing a bit better today. I went through, I managed to get through the lab that was kicking my butt on Monday with surprisingly little help. This continues a trend I've noticed and been amused and irritated by: right after I get annoyed and decide I'm going to try one more thing before I ask for help, that one more thing is the one that works. It's not even that your whatever is in the last place you look because after you've found it you don't need to look anymore. I've already decided I'm going to ask for help, it's that, having decided that, my brain somehow feels free to make the connections necessary to pull together what I've learned to do what I've been asked to do by the lab. I don't get it, but the work gets done. And afterwards I comment my code so that if I have to go back and look up how I did it before, it's more than just "I have no memory of this place."
The boy has tested negative for covid, which we expected given how short his exposure was but which is still a relief. He tested covid negative so now he can go and be exposed to covid repeatedly by caring for people in the hospital! Fucking yay. And I'm glad, I am, I'm proud and I'm glad that he's doing this but I'm also scared and fucking furious that we're here again and not looking forward to basically being completely, physically alone for a couple months at least through winter, going through school, doing everything else. This is going to suck.
Still no word from the vet on Mikey's bloodwork, not sure what to think about that so frankly I'm trying not to think about it. There's going to be a family Zoom on Thanksgiving, that'll be nice. Skin care routine is going well, I did a product swap, a different face oil for the one I was using that's been discontinued (Damn you, Philosophy) and while one use is definitely not enough to judge a skincare product on, first time is promising. I'm stubbornly chugging through Nanowrimo even though I'm goddamn exhausted. I'm going to have to practice devoting the same amount of time to my writing in December and the coming year, but with smaller expectations for what I get done in that time.
Things aren't going badly, I'll say that. I'm not as content or happy or optimistic as I have been. But we're all alive and warm and comfortable for now, and the things that are going terribly aren't... we've done as much as we can. Now it's just to live through it. That sounded really pessimistic. I'm exhausted, but I've done what I can about the things I can do things about...
Eh, I'm leaving that there. We'll find out about Mikey in a couple days, I think, I'll update then. And we need to take Murdock in too, but he's been holding weight and taking his insulin and I think he's doing all right. The boy's doing all right, I'm doing all right. School is irritating but okay. Makeup is fun, writing is fun if hard in the ways it's usually hard, I'm doing exercise for my knee! It hasn't helped too much yet but it's only been a couple of days. So, things go on.
Love to all you who commented on my last two posts of mostly screaming. Big squishy hugs I wish I could give in person. Thank you.
Doing a bit better today. I went through, I managed to get through the lab that was kicking my butt on Monday with surprisingly little help. This continues a trend I've noticed and been amused and irritated by: right after I get annoyed and decide I'm going to try one more thing before I ask for help, that one more thing is the one that works. It's not even that your whatever is in the last place you look because after you've found it you don't need to look anymore. I've already decided I'm going to ask for help, it's that, having decided that, my brain somehow feels free to make the connections necessary to pull together what I've learned to do what I've been asked to do by the lab. I don't get it, but the work gets done. And afterwards I comment my code so that if I have to go back and look up how I did it before, it's more than just "I have no memory of this place."
The boy has tested negative for covid, which we expected given how short his exposure was but which is still a relief. He tested covid negative so now he can go and be exposed to covid repeatedly by caring for people in the hospital! Fucking yay. And I'm glad, I am, I'm proud and I'm glad that he's doing this but I'm also scared and fucking furious that we're here again and not looking forward to basically being completely, physically alone for a couple months at least through winter, going through school, doing everything else. This is going to suck.
Still no word from the vet on Mikey's bloodwork, not sure what to think about that so frankly I'm trying not to think about it. There's going to be a family Zoom on Thanksgiving, that'll be nice. Skin care routine is going well, I did a product swap, a different face oil for the one I was using that's been discontinued (Damn you, Philosophy) and while one use is definitely not enough to judge a skincare product on, first time is promising. I'm stubbornly chugging through Nanowrimo even though I'm goddamn exhausted. I'm going to have to practice devoting the same amount of time to my writing in December and the coming year, but with smaller expectations for what I get done in that time.
Things aren't going badly, I'll say that. I'm not as content or happy or optimistic as I have been. But we're all alive and warm and comfortable for now, and the things that are going terribly aren't... we've done as much as we can. Now it's just to live through it. That sounded really pessimistic. I'm exhausted, but I've done what I can about the things I can do things about...
Eh, I'm leaving that there. We'll find out about Mikey in a couple days, I think, I'll update then. And we need to take Murdock in too, but he's been holding weight and taking his insulin and I think he's doing all right. The boy's doing all right, I'm doing all right. School is irritating but okay. Makeup is fun, writing is fun if hard in the ways it's usually hard, I'm doing exercise for my knee! It hasn't helped too much yet but it's only been a couple of days. So, things go on.