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Jan. 19th, 2018 12:18 pmGoing home and cuddling the Mikey cat did wonders for my nerves, at least temporarily. There were also reassurances from friends, stories of cats long defying the odds which sometimes helps and yesterday was one of those times. We fed Mikey a second wet meal to try and get his weight back up, and had to feed him in stages because he was doing the thing where he tries to gobble down his food. And then I took a picture and tweeted it out of him begging for even more food because he's starving, Mommy, can't you see he's starving.
No you're not, Mikey, you've been trying to convince us we starve you for ten entire years.
My mental focus is still shot, and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised although I'm pretty sure part of it is due to the trazodone. Even half a tab made me very slow to wake up this morning. I'm going to take another half tab tonight and then none tomorrow night so that if I can't sleep till Sunday morning it doesn't matter so much, but I'm hoping I'm done with the sleeplessness. And then I'll still have a bottle of a fair bit of trazodone for future bouts of insomnia and holy goddamn that stuff works well on me. I'm so, so glad to be getting sleep at night.
But my mental focus is still shot. Worry over the kitty. Worry over finances. I've got about fifteen tabs open in my computer browser and at least five more tabs open in my mental browser and I don't know what to do about any of it. I think I'm scared to make progress in any of it. And I'm tired. Emotionally, not physically, physically I'm only sleepy because I've been taking sleep drugs and wow they work well. But emotionally I am ready to stop worrying about medical everything, first mine and then the cats. And just get back to worrying about my books.
Good cute news though, we have a new cat in the utility room. Or at least there's been a gray tabby with big bright markings, bold enough for me to see even when it runs under the house. Of course Barton and Cassius are bullying it, but I'm thinking I will start taking a squirt gun in there with me and squirting them every time they bully the poor thing and see if they take a fucking hint. I do hope it sticks around. It should be easier in the warmer weather, when the outdoor lairs are available and we can put food out at all corners of the house if we have to.
... no, mental focus still shot. One foot in front of the other, I guess. Today is the day of All The Edits: Malachy (I got halfway last night! Let's see how far I can get today!), Body Shop, Haruspicy, Maiden and the Astronaut. Later I might get wild and draft Haruspex too. But I don't have a plot for that yet, just a clip of a scene. Hmm.
No you're not, Mikey, you've been trying to convince us we starve you for ten entire years.
My mental focus is still shot, and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised although I'm pretty sure part of it is due to the trazodone. Even half a tab made me very slow to wake up this morning. I'm going to take another half tab tonight and then none tomorrow night so that if I can't sleep till Sunday morning it doesn't matter so much, but I'm hoping I'm done with the sleeplessness. And then I'll still have a bottle of a fair bit of trazodone for future bouts of insomnia and holy goddamn that stuff works well on me. I'm so, so glad to be getting sleep at night.
But my mental focus is still shot. Worry over the kitty. Worry over finances. I've got about fifteen tabs open in my computer browser and at least five more tabs open in my mental browser and I don't know what to do about any of it. I think I'm scared to make progress in any of it. And I'm tired. Emotionally, not physically, physically I'm only sleepy because I've been taking sleep drugs and wow they work well. But emotionally I am ready to stop worrying about medical everything, first mine and then the cats. And just get back to worrying about my books.
Good cute news though, we have a new cat in the utility room. Or at least there's been a gray tabby with big bright markings, bold enough for me to see even when it runs under the house. Of course Barton and Cassius are bullying it, but I'm thinking I will start taking a squirt gun in there with me and squirting them every time they bully the poor thing and see if they take a fucking hint. I do hope it sticks around. It should be easier in the warmer weather, when the outdoor lairs are available and we can put food out at all corners of the house if we have to.
... no, mental focus still shot. One foot in front of the other, I guess. Today is the day of All The Edits: Malachy (I got halfway last night! Let's see how far I can get today!), Body Shop, Haruspicy, Maiden and the Astronaut. Later I might get wild and draft Haruspex too. But I don't have a plot for that yet, just a clip of a scene. Hmm.