(no subject)

Well. I managed to eat two meals that, while not as healthy as they could have been if they included some form of vegetable, were at least close to two full sized meals. I did cancel capoeira in the end, on account of when I woke up after about seven and a half hours' sleep I still felt exhausted, and when I went back to bed at eight I slept another three hours. And I was fighting the urge to pass back out the whole day, so I think that was probably the right decision. Not to keep pushing myself.

I could go on for paragraphs and paragraphs more, though. How sick and tired I am of being sick and tired. Of having to calculate whether or not I can do everything, and wondering if this is my new normal. I just found the goddamn class I do not want to lose this. You know what I am steadily losing though is weight, despite the fact that I haven't been eating significantly less and certainly not foods that are lacking in fat or carbs or other things that cause one to gain weight. Something's burning up calories in my body and it's not anything I'm actively doing. Grr. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so damn tired and so not hungry?

I did, though, despite the persistent urge to pass out and the strange headspace Dark Tower stuff always puts me in, manage to get the blog post done with A. That might be my main accomplishment for the evening, that and not sneezing on any of the Halloween kids. I'm hopeful of also accomplishing knitting and studying that I wanted to do, but retaining any of that information is going to be a laughable dream given that I have the attention span of a goldfish and the focus of a very out of focus thing. So maybe it'll just be languages and sounds and words that might embed themselves in my backbrain anyway. Ugh and double ugh.