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Jun. 30th, 2015 05:09 pmCamp Nanowrimo is just around the corner and I'm not readyyyyyy. Okay, I'm more ready than I would be if I'd gone through with PS at this point, but I'm still not ready. And it looks like I might be able to finish the one White Lightning story that, almost, is the last story to be finished for the anthology, but I'm still not ready. Which leaves only the other story draft, the supplemental documents, and edits on everything to clear that off my plate.
Readiness, what's that?
The boy's Work Shenanigans continue to give me massive stress. I'm officially freaking out about everything now, including whether or not I get to keep this wonderful house I'm living in (this is almost certainly hyperbolic) and what's going to happen to us and doom! Doom and despair! Possibly not that much despair but, look, I'm really stressed, okay? And they keep saying we'll find out what's going on in the next day or so, and it's fucking Tuesday and nobody knows yet and I'm going to throttle someone. Ugh. Freaking right out here. Do not like.
Capoeira will save me tomorrow, right? If I can make myself go. I'm still oddly terrified it, now combined with the "but it's too much effort and I'll never get good" syndrome. No, self. No. Keep fucking going. You have had three goddamn lessons, you're at least making improvements in muscle fitness, you're making slow improvements in balance, just because the improvements aren't all at once doesn't mean you're not going to keep going, because you will. You are going to stick with it for at least a year. And if by that time you have not learned a headstand or gotten better at a couple kicks, then we will consider abandoning it. I have spoken, and it is so.
Yeah, the boy's work shenanigans are not at all doing good things for my mood. Maybe it'll just be a tuna mac and cheese dinner type of night. Or rather, tuna in my half and just cheese and mac in his, because he doesn't like tuna. Comfort food! Only healthy comfort food. Healthy ish.
So, I'm almost done with the second to last story at least, and of course it's the story with the trans protagonist that I was utterly freaking the hell out for. And now that I'm working on it it's all coming smooth and easy and if it were a story about any other damn character I'd be very proud of it, but no, it has to be about a character who I'm nervous about screwing up and ARGH. Just, argh. I mean, on the plus side, as far as writing goes I won't be ashamed to show it to people and ask them if this is okay to write? On the minus side, this is not helping my already nervous state. On the plus side, it's this character, and she's wonderful and sweet and I'd... it's not entirely accurate to say I'd forgotten how much I enjoy writing her, because I'd never given her focus in any story before. But she's been in the world the whole time, and I guess now the accurate thing is I'm really glad she's getting her own story. I'd like to write more stories with her. I just don't know what they are yet.
Oh. This was a thing I meant to do. Self, don't forget that this was a thing you wanted to do.
At any rate. Tonight will be throwing cards for the next month, finishing up Alex's story, Arabic, hopefully some good mindless whatever on Khan Academy, maybe cosmology for a sense of It's A Great Big Universe And We're All Really Puny (We're Just Tiny Little Specks About The Size of Mickey Rooney), and Diablo. Which is really fun now that I'm into paragon levels. And macaroni and cheese. All hail the mac and cheese.
Readiness, what's that?
The boy's Work Shenanigans continue to give me massive stress. I'm officially freaking out about everything now, including whether or not I get to keep this wonderful house I'm living in (this is almost certainly hyperbolic) and what's going to happen to us and doom! Doom and despair! Possibly not that much despair but, look, I'm really stressed, okay? And they keep saying we'll find out what's going on in the next day or so, and it's fucking Tuesday and nobody knows yet and I'm going to throttle someone. Ugh. Freaking right out here. Do not like.
Capoeira will save me tomorrow, right? If I can make myself go. I'm still oddly terrified it, now combined with the "but it's too much effort and I'll never get good" syndrome. No, self. No. Keep fucking going. You have had three goddamn lessons, you're at least making improvements in muscle fitness, you're making slow improvements in balance, just because the improvements aren't all at once doesn't mean you're not going to keep going, because you will. You are going to stick with it for at least a year. And if by that time you have not learned a headstand or gotten better at a couple kicks, then we will consider abandoning it. I have spoken, and it is so.
Yeah, the boy's work shenanigans are not at all doing good things for my mood. Maybe it'll just be a tuna mac and cheese dinner type of night. Or rather, tuna in my half and just cheese and mac in his, because he doesn't like tuna. Comfort food! Only healthy comfort food. Healthy ish.
So, I'm almost done with the second to last story at least, and of course it's the story with the trans protagonist that I was utterly freaking the hell out for. And now that I'm working on it it's all coming smooth and easy and if it were a story about any other damn character I'd be very proud of it, but no, it has to be about a character who I'm nervous about screwing up and ARGH. Just, argh. I mean, on the plus side, as far as writing goes I won't be ashamed to show it to people and ask them if this is okay to write? On the minus side, this is not helping my already nervous state. On the plus side, it's this character, and she's wonderful and sweet and I'd... it's not entirely accurate to say I'd forgotten how much I enjoy writing her, because I'd never given her focus in any story before. But she's been in the world the whole time, and I guess now the accurate thing is I'm really glad she's getting her own story. I'd like to write more stories with her. I just don't know what they are yet.
Oh. This was a thing I meant to do. Self, don't forget that this was a thing you wanted to do.
At any rate. Tonight will be throwing cards for the next month, finishing up Alex's story, Arabic, hopefully some good mindless whatever on Khan Academy, maybe cosmology for a sense of It's A Great Big Universe And We're All Really Puny (We're Just Tiny Little Specks About The Size of Mickey Rooney), and Diablo. Which is really fun now that I'm into paragon levels. And macaroni and cheese. All hail the mac and cheese.