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Aug. 12th, 2014 08:24 am( Gaeilge )
I'd forgotten how hard review is when you're doing it all yourself. Trying to figure out which subjects and make up your own exercises and argh I'm not awake enough for this shit. Maybe I can get some kind of structured practice done tonight.
This actually was started yesterday but then I didn't end up revisiting it, I didn't go back to anything, so it might as well go up today.
I don't know how to process this. Robin Williams was always a part of my life, he was one of my grandmother's favorite comedians, Mrs. Doubtfire had a place of honor on her shelf for ages, even after it was only her shelf in memoriam. I was blown away by Good Will Hunting years after the hype had a chance to die down, not because it was Oscar-Worthy-Material (tm) but because this therapist was one I would have loved to have gone to when I was going through my assorted tough times. (My therapists were capable, really. But this was a guy I could have engaged with.) I saw Aladdin ten thousand times, and Fern Gully, when I was a teenager and my siblings were little enough to need to be babysat they were two of the few movies we agreed on. Hell, I still quote both of those on a semi-regular basis. And now, hearing about all the things he did, all the people whose lives he touched and made a little bit brighter.
Crying every time I think about this now. I wish he hadn't died. I wish he'd been less sick. (Depression is a fuck of an illness, don't let anyone tell you different.) I wish a lot of things.
I wish the police in Ferguson were less of a mob of assholes. I'm not even sure it's the individual police, I don't live there, I don't know any of them. I do know, from various studies and tests we shall not speak of, that it's entirely possible to be a good person and to be caught up in the mob hysteria of one side against another. It's possible to be a good person and stand next to the person who's throwing the rock or the tear gas grenade, and have whoever's looking at you blend you with the thrower so you become the enemy. That goes for both sides. But, god, these people have a point. A big, sharp one. The police officer shot that unarmed kid NINE TIMES. He didn't, by witness reports, need to be shot ONCE. NINE TIMES? Depending on the gun, the officer could have emptied the damn clip into an unarmed kid. These people have a point. That is an injustice, it should not have happened, and given that there are people with assault rifles wandering around big box stores and restaurants like it's nothing, there is something very fucking wrong with a person whose skin happens to be a different color getting shot because he had to visit a fucking gas station. Not even in the wrong town, this happens everywhere. Oh no, he has a pack of skittles and a drink, he must be up to something, shoot him. What the fuck is wrong with you people. No, looting is never right, but last night as far as I can tell NO ONE WAS LOOTING. THEY WERE JUST GATHERING. EVER HEAR OF A LITTLE THING CALLED FREEDOM TO ASSEMBLE. They ordered the press out. Who the fuck does that? I will tell you: police states and dictatorships, that's who. Sure, yes, fine, you can order the press behind a cordon for safety's sake if people are throwing shit or shit is on fire, but as far as I can tell that wasn't the case last night. Let the press do their fucking jobs.
God, I can't believe this shit. I can't believe this is my country. I can't believe we're having police presence firing riot control indiscriminately at people who live in a goddamn neighborhood because they're standing together shouting at the police for, wait for it. Shooting unarmed civilians. Yes, because that makes your case so well. Go the fuck back to police school and learn about serve and fucking protect. Or better yet, don't put the badge back on. Just put it down. Walk away.
This almost scares me worse because my brother-in-sort-of-law wants to be a police officer, and I know he is the racial profilingist person out there. Not to mention a short fuse and a long list of things he hates in other people. It is not your fucking job to police other people's lifestyle.
On the plus side, now I'm too angry to cry over Robin Williams. On the minus side, now I'm scared for my siblings, sad for this country, and just generally upset at everything. Maybe today will be better. Please let today be better.
I'd forgotten how hard review is when you're doing it all yourself. Trying to figure out which subjects and make up your own exercises and argh I'm not awake enough for this shit. Maybe I can get some kind of structured practice done tonight.
This actually was started yesterday but then I didn't end up revisiting it, I didn't go back to anything, so it might as well go up today.
I don't know how to process this. Robin Williams was always a part of my life, he was one of my grandmother's favorite comedians, Mrs. Doubtfire had a place of honor on her shelf for ages, even after it was only her shelf in memoriam. I was blown away by Good Will Hunting years after the hype had a chance to die down, not because it was Oscar-Worthy-Material (tm) but because this therapist was one I would have loved to have gone to when I was going through my assorted tough times. (My therapists were capable, really. But this was a guy I could have engaged with.) I saw Aladdin ten thousand times, and Fern Gully, when I was a teenager and my siblings were little enough to need to be babysat they were two of the few movies we agreed on. Hell, I still quote both of those on a semi-regular basis. And now, hearing about all the things he did, all the people whose lives he touched and made a little bit brighter.
Crying every time I think about this now. I wish he hadn't died. I wish he'd been less sick. (Depression is a fuck of an illness, don't let anyone tell you different.) I wish a lot of things.
I wish the police in Ferguson were less of a mob of assholes. I'm not even sure it's the individual police, I don't live there, I don't know any of them. I do know, from various studies and tests we shall not speak of, that it's entirely possible to be a good person and to be caught up in the mob hysteria of one side against another. It's possible to be a good person and stand next to the person who's throwing the rock or the tear gas grenade, and have whoever's looking at you blend you with the thrower so you become the enemy. That goes for both sides. But, god, these people have a point. A big, sharp one. The police officer shot that unarmed kid NINE TIMES. He didn't, by witness reports, need to be shot ONCE. NINE TIMES? Depending on the gun, the officer could have emptied the damn clip into an unarmed kid. These people have a point. That is an injustice, it should not have happened, and given that there are people with assault rifles wandering around big box stores and restaurants like it's nothing, there is something very fucking wrong with a person whose skin happens to be a different color getting shot because he had to visit a fucking gas station. Not even in the wrong town, this happens everywhere. Oh no, he has a pack of skittles and a drink, he must be up to something, shoot him. What the fuck is wrong with you people. No, looting is never right, but last night as far as I can tell NO ONE WAS LOOTING. THEY WERE JUST GATHERING. EVER HEAR OF A LITTLE THING CALLED FREEDOM TO ASSEMBLE. They ordered the press out. Who the fuck does that? I will tell you: police states and dictatorships, that's who. Sure, yes, fine, you can order the press behind a cordon for safety's sake if people are throwing shit or shit is on fire, but as far as I can tell that wasn't the case last night. Let the press do their fucking jobs.
God, I can't believe this shit. I can't believe this is my country. I can't believe we're having police presence firing riot control indiscriminately at people who live in a goddamn neighborhood because they're standing together shouting at the police for, wait for it. Shooting unarmed civilians. Yes, because that makes your case so well. Go the fuck back to police school and learn about serve and fucking protect. Or better yet, don't put the badge back on. Just put it down. Walk away.
This almost scares me worse because my brother-in-sort-of-law wants to be a police officer, and I know he is the racial profilingist person out there. Not to mention a short fuse and a long list of things he hates in other people. It is not your fucking job to police other people's lifestyle.
On the plus side, now I'm too angry to cry over Robin Williams. On the minus side, now I'm scared for my siblings, sad for this country, and just generally upset at everything. Maybe today will be better. Please let today be better.