![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Dec. 9th, 2012 12:48 pmI have some questions for the former homeowners of my house.
1. Why the fuck didn't you wash the walls before you painted them? This is not rocket science, brain surgery, advanced mathematics, or any other time of complicated thing. If you want to paint something, you fucking wash it first.
2. Why is there veneer just tacked onto the outside of the door frame between the cabinet and the countertop? Did you just not feel like painting that foot and a half by inch and a half, two inch length? The fuck is this happy horseshit?
3. While I'm at it, your choice of cabinet knobs and paint colors for the kitchen are fugly. This isn't a "you're doing it wrong" though, this is more of a "oh my god I hate this." I kind of expected to have to paint a lot of rooms in whatever house I bought, though, so, eh. Des gustibus non est disputandum.
4. But I do have to complain about your painting job. There are splatters of paint fucking everywhere. The hell is this happy horseshit? Can't you wield a goddamn brush?
4a. Or does this have to do with the reason there appear to be coffee stains dripping down the walls as though someone flung cups at them?
5. And while we're discussing this, what the shit is this living in the back of one of my cabinets? Sawdust? Paint dust? Brick dust? Red clay? Mud? The fuck?
6. As much rusted out, busted crap is around this house waiting to stab me in the soft bits, I'm really glad my tetanus shot is current. I'm just saying.
7. As much as I like the downstairs bathroom, it's sized for someone my size. Not that great a percentage of people in the world, or at least in this country, are my size. (5' ish and a muscular 180lb ish.) On the plus side, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have this bathroom almost all to myself?
8. Also why the shit was there a radiator and no fan? I know you guys (well, one of the 'you guys' involved in the previous homeowning and the party I think was most responsible for this) were renovating before you went belly up, why did you not put in a damn bathroom fan/vent/thing? And the radiator just made it MORE cramped.
I'm sure there's more I could bitch about, but now I'm down to mopping and putting away kitchen things, so we'll leave it at this. For now. I'm sure I'll come up with more WTF moments, every new homeowner of a previously owned home does.
Also if I keep waking up in the middle of a very misty morning like this I'm just calling the fucker Avalon.
1. Why the fuck didn't you wash the walls before you painted them? This is not rocket science, brain surgery, advanced mathematics, or any other time of complicated thing. If you want to paint something, you fucking wash it first.
2. Why is there veneer just tacked onto the outside of the door frame between the cabinet and the countertop? Did you just not feel like painting that foot and a half by inch and a half, two inch length? The fuck is this happy horseshit?
3. While I'm at it, your choice of cabinet knobs and paint colors for the kitchen are fugly. This isn't a "you're doing it wrong" though, this is more of a "oh my god I hate this." I kind of expected to have to paint a lot of rooms in whatever house I bought, though, so, eh. Des gustibus non est disputandum.
4. But I do have to complain about your painting job. There are splatters of paint fucking everywhere. The hell is this happy horseshit? Can't you wield a goddamn brush?
4a. Or does this have to do with the reason there appear to be coffee stains dripping down the walls as though someone flung cups at them?
5. And while we're discussing this, what the shit is this living in the back of one of my cabinets? Sawdust? Paint dust? Brick dust? Red clay? Mud? The fuck?
6. As much rusted out, busted crap is around this house waiting to stab me in the soft bits, I'm really glad my tetanus shot is current. I'm just saying.
7. As much as I like the downstairs bathroom, it's sized for someone my size. Not that great a percentage of people in the world, or at least in this country, are my size. (5' ish and a muscular 180lb ish.) On the plus side, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have this bathroom almost all to myself?
8. Also why the shit was there a radiator and no fan? I know you guys (well, one of the 'you guys' involved in the previous homeowning and the party I think was most responsible for this) were renovating before you went belly up, why did you not put in a damn bathroom fan/vent/thing? And the radiator just made it MORE cramped.
I'm sure there's more I could bitch about, but now I'm down to mopping and putting away kitchen things, so we'll leave it at this. For now. I'm sure I'll come up with more WTF moments, every new homeowner of a previously owned home does.
Also if I keep waking up in the middle of a very misty morning like this I'm just calling the fucker Avalon.