(no subject)

active_apathy makes the coolest icons. Just saying.

Coda to The Angel of Thursday probably to come today while I'm at work, if everyone's too busy celebrating/mourning Obama's win to order anything. Plus there's the mail order sale coming up so everyone's probably waiting if they can till next week to order. Seriously, don't expect me to be around much next week. And I need to figure out a menu of things I can mostly pre-cook so all I have to do is lean against the kitchen counter and stare at the stove for a bit. Maybe spaghetti sauce. A lasagna. Something.

Arizona, Florida, I am going to stab about half of you in the eye. Seriously, what's up with that? California, I'm looking at you too.

That is probably the only thing about politics I'm going to say, except this: Best voter turnout since 1908. That is more than a little awesome. And you know what? My new friend who tried to vote but for one scheduling reason or another couldn't free up enough time to stand at the polls? You and everyone else who tried but couldn't make it get props too. Winning and losing aside, I think it's phenomenal that that many people had the hope and the belief that they could make one tiny difference for the better in our country. That they believed their voices were heard. I know people have been going on at great length lately about civic duty, responsibility as a citizen, blah blah blah, and I've been guilty of some of that too. But what gets me about the usual argument why people don't vote is the casual despair it seems to sound like, at least to me. Oh, what's the use, things aren't going to get better anyway. It's all very Marvin. But, this year? Lots, and lots, and lots of people said, you know what. Things are fucking well going to get better, and I'm going to make them that way. So, yay.

Um. Bleh. I'm awake. Mikey woke me up at 5.30 this morning. I don't want to be awake, but at least he let me go back to sleep for another hour. I got more words Nanoed last night, yay, and now I have to do a bit of research on medals awarded in combat for the last century and a half or so, no, probably about two centuries. Blargh. But that comes after Nano and, yes, there is a placeholder in my book that goes [stuff here.] Bite me. Actually that may come not so much after Nano but after I finish it and before Nano actually ends, so I figure, that's fair. I'm at 12.5k words right now, I'm wondering if I can actually finish the damn thing before the mail order sale. Probably not, but I can get damn close. Go me.

And at this point I'm just talking nonsense not to myself, so I'm going to go find a donut or something and attempt to become sane. Also, I need an icon of Edna Mode from The Incredibles that says "Fight! Win!" Where's my damn DVD.

(no subject)

What? Wait, what?

Also, FUCK YOU, CALIFORNIA!!! RARR CURBSTOMP! Stupid Prop 8.

[Fic] The Angel of Thursday

Title: The Angel of Thursday Part 5: Afterglow
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Ruby/Castiel
Word Count: 5,755
Rating: PG
Summary: Entirely a justification for one of the most unlikely pairings ever.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4


They stayed like that for some time, wrapped in each other, worlds apart. She pulled the blanket over them after a point but otherwise didn't move away. Neither did he.

His thoughts were whirling, circling each other, doubts and fears and little revelations criss-crossing back and forth in his head. Knowing from experience was a difference from knowing the acts in human memories so vast that he could barely comprehend it, let alone find words for it. What he had done was blasphemy on so many levels, and on deeper levels was it not also its own form of faith? Showing tenderness and compassion at least in a way that could be understood, if not necessarily the act condone. Was that rationalisation?

He was still here. He felt no diminishing, had heard no command. Had not felt the jaws of Hell gape wide to swallow him up. Perhaps God had forgiven him this act, or understood the spirit of why Castiel had done what he had. Castiel himself wasn't sure why. Except that, for a few moments and, though it was fading, for a few moments after, he had felt less alone.

It was almost dawn when Ruby finally slid out of his arms and out of the bed. He knew, not because of the light peeking under the curtains, but by the instinct of the angels that felt the world turn beneath them and the air currents passing through their wings. So, too, he felt the sun creeping over the land as the earth turned. He pushed himself to sitting up in the bed, watching her.

"You're leaving now?"

She was getting dressed with a determination not to show any sign that what they had done had affected her, and yet he could see into what passed for her soul as readily as any other. "Yeah."

He waited for the I got what I came for or I did what I came here to do even if neither were true. He was a little surprised when neither occurred. It was probably time for him to say something.

"Ruby..." he slid out of bed, took her by the arm as she turned away from him. She was dressed but for her coat by now. He didn't know what he meant to say. "There is always forgiveness, if you ask for it."

She smiled a little at him, but it was sad, and a little bit angry. "I'm not like you, Castiel. I can't just bow my head and obey. I have to be who and what I am." She uncurled his fingers from her arm. "I'm sorry."

By the time he was gone there was no evidence that either of them had been in the room at all, and he bore all the weight of what they had done upwards, as he flew up to ask forgiveness for the carnal sin they had committed.

But not the emotions they had shared. Never that.

[Fic] My Beautiful Girl

Title: My Beautiful Girl
Fandom: None/Very very tangentially Dresden Files
Characters: Kendra (OC), Mallory (OC), Solace (OC)
Word Count: 1,168
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In a word, love.
A/N: This is a meme that I have just made up. To non-celebrate the passing of Prop 8, write slash. Not random PWP sex-slash, but loving committed relationships slash. This is my slash, mine and kikibug13's. Solace is hers, Kendra and Mallory are ours.


In all of her years, all of those moments on cold plastic chairs or in muted carpet rooms had led her here. All of that waiting around, ankles crossed and feet kicking beneath chairs that were too high for her, heels drumming staccato against the counter she was perched on, she had been waiting for this.

Mallory's eyes were green with flecks of gold and brown. Her lips were the color of new pink ballet shoes and slightly chapped. But the corners of her mouth crinkled when she smiled and Kendra thought that was the most adorable thing she had ever seen. They shared an awkward kiss two days after Mallory arrived at the mansion, in what would have been a maid's room on the top floor.

For six months Mallory made life at the mansion bearable, understandable. Kendra didn't know why they were learning magic until they were able to do it for the first time, and then she had an inkling but she still didn't know why they were learning these twisted words that tasted like vomit. But Mallory made it totally worth while. Mallory made everything better.

For six months they snuck out of their rooms to curl up in each other's beds at night. One's head tucked on the other's shoulder and arms around each other, soothed to sleep by the sound of another heartbeat and the sure knowledge that they were loved, by one, at least. Mallory's fingers curled in Kendra's hair like a baby's, running her fingers back and forth over the ends even when she was asleep. Kendra kissed her collarbone and smiled and didn't say anything.

She took Mallory out to a picnic for her fifteenth birthday and they made love for the first time under the old willow tree, in a canopy of branches hiding them from the world and everything bad in it. It was clumsy, and it was their first time ever, and afterwards Kendra thought that there was nothing finer in the world than the sound of Mallory giggling because her hair tickled her stomach. Than the scent of her, after sex, or the soft way her fingers ran up and down along her spine. It was such a simple gesture she'd seen on TV so many times but it meant everything. They linked their hands and laced their fingers together and promised never to be apart.

After their Master died, though, that changed everything.

They stood behind Will and Shelly and Clara, especially Shelly, who was always the more openly belligerent of them. Also the older, Kendra thought. The screaming had stopped, and most of it had been household staff anyway, and now they were faced with an implacable woman in dark clothing and long black hair who looked like some ninja out of a movie. One by one, she separated them off. Kendra could feel Mallory trembling beside her.

"No," she said pre-emptively, when the dark-haired woman came to her, before she could get out a word. "No, we won't."

A quietly arched eyebrow. "Won't what? Leave here? I'd not dream of leaving you in here all alone."

Kendra squeezed Mallory's hand and tugged the other girl behind her, even as she stepped in front of her lover. "We won't be separated. Not ever." And you can't make us, was the childish undertone to the whole thing, but it was accompanied by the flashing eyes of a woman in defense of her beloved, someone who had lost too many and too much to tolerate it any longer.

"I... see." There was a longer moment of silence, dark eyes looking at one of the girls, and then the other, and then back again. "It hasn't gotten in the way of your learning so far?" Which was another way to ask, was your mentor aware of you two. Or only what the words said. Either way.

"No, ma'am." That was Mallory, to which Kendra hissed at her to be quiet. She didn't trust this stranger who came in and turned their lives upside down. She didn't trust anyone but the girl behind her. Who then spoke up: "Kendra, it's okay. She's okay. I think we can trust her."

Kendra glanced over her shoulder, stricken, unsure. "Are you sure?"

Mallory looked at the woman and nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure."

"That is fortunate." There was no bite in the voice. Right now, she didn't seem to have any. "I was considering whom to send you to - together - in any case. But I am glad that you stand by each other like that." Voice growing slightly warmer, she added, "I am sorry you need to be pushed around like that. But not interfering would have been a very bad idea. I... we. Do not mean to make it harder than it has to be. Each of your new mentors knows me and can get in touch if you need anything, but if you grow to have problems with yours..." She reached into a pocket and took out a slim business cards case, and handed one - to the girl in the front. Giving almost a smile to the other one. "I left underprepared. I trust you will share?"

"Of course," Kendra nodded. The way the woman was treating her, like a responsible adult capable of making most of her own decisions, drew a similar reaction from the girl. And a need to live up to that expectation, almost automatically, despite her continued misgivings. Mallory had said. That was good enough for her. "Where will we go?"

Solace seemed to take in the reaction - and approve. Or possibly right then she just wanted the children to be all right, to be fine. Something, at any rate. She nodded slowly, then said evenly, "Hoboken, New Jersey. Not the fashionable side, I'm afraid, but it's somebody who won't be particularly upset about your proximity and he will be able to teach you." It wasn't clear if 'not particularly upset' meant that he'd be fine with it, or he wouldn't care about it. She straightened, then added, "you will be together, for as long as you would be." Almost as an afterthought. "Take care of each other." And she moved again, towards the other dark figure.

Kendra's hand didn't turn loose of Mallory's until they were in the car and driving away from the mansion. They packed together, one hand each, silently moving their things from dressers to bags and boxes, then going to Kendra's room and doing the same there. The woman and the man helped them load into the car without comment. At the end, Mallory turned and pressed her hand to the glass of the window, staring back at their six-month home with a strange look of both wistful regret and deep fear. Kendra watched only her for a moment, then scooted closer and pulled her into her arms. So long as they were together, it would be all right.

It would all be okay.

It's a meme!

Okay. I know I was cranky and all about the curb-stomping earlier, and believe you me, I felt like saying a lot worse when I saw the news about Prop 8 passing.

But. In my less emotional and more calm moments I do know, and I hope all of you know, that the way to move past hate and fear is not by attacking it with more hate and fear and rage, but by embracing it with love, and respect, and compassion.

To that end, I give you, a meme:

To commemorate, in its own way, the passing of Prop 8, write slash. Not random PWP sex-slash, but loving committed relationships slash. Two people who love each other deeply and want to be together, to share their lives together, as simple as that.

If you can't write, create art. If you can't do either, say something kind. If you can't say something kind... please, for a moment, just be silent and listen. I hope you hear something worth listening to.

ETA: My fics:
Hermione/Pansy, Maggot: A Whimsical Fancy
My Beautiful Girl (original)