(no subject)

Well... fuck.

Heard back from the agent I met at Maui. No go. She recommended I contact AAR, but she isn't taking on that many mysteries. I guess a series is more work than she wants to take on, especially a series by an unpublished writer? Or something. She did say it was... what was the word she used. Engaging. Great. Woo. Finger-twirl.

I hate rejections. Hate them. I had just gotten used to getting rejection letters for short stories and now I have to get used to getting them from agents. Six or so rejection letters in, I'm not used to them. It still hurts, I still feel the same bout of 'well, fuck, I might as well just give up now', and it's still the work of moving boulders to focus myself enough to submit again, keep editing, keep going. At least these days all I probably have to do is print out the damn submission packet, tweak the query letters for individual agencies, and go.

I thought I would have more to say on the subject. I guess I don't. I was too tired to process last night, and this morning after six hours' sleep I'm still too tired to care. I'll keep going. I'll make myself, somehow, because I have to. I just don't have to like it. Back to the grindstone. Where's that damn book. I'm the goddamn Jaguar, I can do anything.

(no subject)

You know that episode of Buffy with the fear demon that drives everyone batshit crazy and then turns out to be 5" tall, actual size? That's about the size of it. All this drama, all this huff and puff and bluster, and for what? So that people who really don't care as much about you as you care about them, people who really haven't thought of you until you started this shit again, so that they can write cranky yet amused entries in their LJ about you and then go straight on, five minutes later, to thinking "Now, hmm. Do I have time to get the groceries and put the car in for maintenance today, or should I do that tomorrow? Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." I mean... really? Is this what fills your lives? I guess it's good stuff if you can get it, fairly effortless, but... Come on. Chocolate. Bad action fantasy movies with half naked men. Don't you have any of the old standbys to amuse yourselves?

You, Eric. You, Jo. I choose you, Pikachu. I would have given your LJ names and then it occurred to me that that might spread the wank. Which isn't really something I'm inclined to do. It's boring, it's tiresome, and it's far more effort than you deserve. I have things to do. But you know what one of those things is?

Thanking you.

Seriously. I need to write you a thank you card, because the shit you have started is the most inane, ridiculous, hilarious crap I have read in a long time. And I needed a good laugh today. Of all days lately, and I was having some good ones, and then, well. Bad news. Unmitigated by BPAL or nifty fabric swatches. But you, you make me laugh. And I like that.

So, thank you for the hilarity, for the enjoyment and amusement. It was ... I laughed until I cried, I swear. I fell out of my chair for laughing. And I really needed that today.

Silly buggers.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Query Letter Hell.

[Word Count] Somewhat Weekly Word Count

Last Week's Total Word Count: 5,687

Fics Completed
Library of Winds
Pogue - Disturb

Big Damn List

Big Damn Table
Red Dragon Tattoo
Salt

Theatrical Muse
#??? -- The Morning After

Misc
Our Lady of Sorrows
You Oughta Be In Pictures (Part 2) (unposted)


Novels worked:
NONE!

Summary: CRAP ALL. I suppose the redeeming factor to this is that I've got a bit of sewing done, and I had games on the two last nights of the week. I'm posting this a day early, in fact, because I have game tonight and know I'm going to be good for remembering fuck all tomorrow. But. I need to do better. And get more disciplined. And start remembering to add in my editing words and maybe my outlines/background bits to my word count, because that's writing towards production and publishing. Not my outlining for fanfic epics. Because that's just cheating at Scrabble.


The Week Ahead: Okay. The goal here is to get 1,000,000 words written in one year, right? Well, to do that, I have to write approximately 3,000 words per day, EVERY DAY. For those of you who wanted to know, if you wanted to try to get in on this madness. This shouldn't be too bad for me, yeah? The hard part is doing it every day. I've already missed at least two week's worth. Let's see if I can catch up over the next two weeks, even get ahead.